Brett maneuvered them around until they found a couple of empty chairs, it was a better view of the table the St. James' occupied now that the tables were side by side making Annie internally groan. 

Slowly the tension seeped from her body but the heartache still remained.  Seeing Julien for the first time in weeks gave Annie a sense of relief. She thought it would have been harder but it had quite the opposite effect.

Just being able to observe him talk and smile and look like himself made her content and grateful nothing more happened that fatal day. It was a miracle he was amongst them, and if just looking at him was all she was going to get, although it was not enough, than she'd take it. It was a difficult compromise but better than never seeing him ever again.

Phaedra and Kate spotted her and waved, rising from their table to greet her.  It was weeks since she's seen any of the St. James family, it wasn't only Julien she avoided, it was all of them. 

Annie stood from her seat to greet them as they approached. 

"Hello darling!" Kate exclaimed.  "It feels like ages since I've last seen you!"  Giving her a brief hug.  Kate pulled her back and searched her face trying to decipher her features. 

Phaedra quickly squeezed by her mother and gave her a tight hug, squealing in delight at seeing her. "You look stunning Annie! It's been too long!" She gushed. Annie forced a smile and returned her embrace.

Someone from across the room called out to Phaedra and she turned waving. "Excuse me, I'll be back!" Phaedra said.

Annie turned back to Kate. Her arched eyebrows and suggestive tilt of her head and the knowing look in her eyes showed her she saw right passed her thick walls.

"I'm fine Kate."  Reassuring her concerned look.  "It's good to see you."

Kate cupped Annie's cheek, "You've lost a lot of weight, darling." 

Annie glanced away shielding her eyes so Kate wouldn't see her sadness.  The eyes were the mirror to the soul, they say, and Annie tried to conceal the hurt and pain she knew was present just beneath the surface.  But the facade she forced eventually slipped unconsciously.

Kate's fingers lifted her chin forcing Annie to look up. 

"I know it's not the time but I need to say that I'm sorry for everything."  Annie nodded, understanding what she meant and her gaze trailed behind Kate to the source of her continuous torture.  "Will you not reconsider telling him about the both of you?"

Julien's gaze was fixed on her she realized, wondering how long he had been watching.  Her eyebrows were drawn together as she studied him questioningly.  Julien was sitting with Duncan and Victor and another man she did not know making her wonder where Caitlin was.

His predatory-like eyes seared her skin, making it come alive.  Trailing up and down her body, Annie recognized the desire in his eyes.  Even with his missing memories he seemed like his reaction to her did not change. 

A small blossom of hope slithered its way inside her.

Focusing back on Kate, "No need to be sorry." She said with a tight smile.  "And no, to tell him now—that it impossible, as we both know, he's moved on. Everything happens for a reason." She said not being able to stop the bitterness from showing in her tone. "Perhaps it was meant to be this way."

Maybe they weren't destined to be together, maybe that's why fate ripped them apart. He moved on with someone else. What more of an answer did she need that they possibly weren't meant to be—that small blossom of hope dwindling down again.

Everything came with a price.  Julien was the lesson she had to learn, leaving her heart to pick up the pieces on its own.

Kate nodded sadly, having nothing more to say and briefly hugged her before leaving.  Julien kept watching and Aninie chose to ignore him.  Even though she wanted to run to him and bury her head in the crook of his neck and him pull close, instead Annie returned to her seat.   Her Uncle was right, she needed to 'man up', and stop acting weak and pathetic.

Annie was trying to fool herself into thinking it would just abruptly vaporize, these feelings–she was a lover and a fighter.  Fighting to her last breath and loved with her whole being.  There was no medium.

It couldn't be helped though.  She hated herself for it. She hated feeling vulnerable, lost, and broken. Knowing Julien was the only person that could truly make her feel whole again; he was the one that could ease the pain and anger from deep inside her.

He would forever be her missing half.

It was over. What they shared was temporary. It was life changing and the damage was already done. Annie tried concealing without feeling. She had an image to uphold and it was a lie.

Live the lie until the lie becomes your life...

Brett pulled her close to his side wrapping his strong arms around her as if sensing what she needed....to feel loved and comforted, and she gladly accepted what he offered as she rested her head on his shoulder. 

Her impassive expression did not fool him. In the brief time of meeting Annie, it felt as if he already knew her. He was aware they've met before but it seemed it was deeper, feeling it down in his gut. There was a aura of sadness surrounding her that spoke to him.

His reaction confused him. Drawn to her like a moth to a flame, Julien could not help his gaze from wandering towards her as she sat close to her Uncle. Brett whispered something close to her ear and she laughed—stirring his insides to mush, her laughter like music to his ears.

Annie kissed her Uncles cheek and Julien felt the impact as if she kissed him too making his cheek tingle in response. A sharp pain seared itself from his head to the back of his neck.

They were in his office, just the two of them..He saw himself with Annie as she placed a light kiss to his cheek in the same manner. Her twinkling eyes stared up at him and he felt the sudden protectiveness wash over him as he held her in his arms...

As fast as his memory conjured the scene, it abruptly cut off. Julien shook his head, dazed, a dull throb echoing in his head. Julien glanced around quickly. Thankfully nobody witnessed his brief episode as they were all occupied with the celebration.

Annie's face was alive, happy—how she looked now differed to his memory of her.  Something was weighing her down, she was troubled. Julien shook his head again, trying clear his jumbled thoughts. 

Was it real? Was it the beginning of his memories coming back? His arms were wrapped around her. Why was he holding her so intimately? Was it a fantasy?

He was attracted to her, no doubt.

Did he want her so much, he imagined it?

A feminine hand squeezed his shoulder disrupting his train of thought. Caitlin smiled down at him as she slid into the empty seat next to his. 

"Hey, you."  She greeted him. 

Julien forced a brief smile in return.  It swiftly retracted from his face when she looked away.

Caitlin was a sweet woman who ran his newspaper for him.  After his accident he visited his company to check to see how things were running.  Caitlin was a breath of fresh air at the time and seemed like the distraction he needed.  She was pretty enough but lacked something he wanted but he didn't know what.  He asked her out for drinks at his club and she gladly accepted at the time.  He couldn't put his finger on it, but it felt wrong asking her, instantly regretting he did, but not understanding why.

They weren't in a serious relationship, both agreeing to take one day at a time and see where it led them.  When it came time for Michael's wedding he asked her out again, this time ignoring his strange feelings.    But now, it felt like he was using her to fill in a missing void.  Thinking she would be able to bring some normalcy to his life, something that was not part of his missing past made him believe he regained some control, but that didn't happen he realized now. 

After enjoying the vast banquet dinner and the cutting of the seven layer wedding cake, most of the guests were dancing, socializing, or taking pictures with the bride and groom. 

The music stopped, and their attention followed towards the dance floor as Patrick took the mic and started to thank everyone that attended the wedding and spoke a few words directed to the newlyweds.  After the audience clapped and cheered once he finished, Cici took the mic from him and also said a few words to her brother and new wife. 

"...before I finish I would like to ask all the single ladies here tonight to come up to the dance floor...Sheila is going to throw her bouquet!"  The ladies in the audience giggled in excitement and the men whistled and cheered them along.

Caitlin gave his hand a squeeze and followed the direction of the other single ladies who grouped together in wait.  Julien's gaze sought out Annie who was trying to persuade her Uncle to release her arm while he kept dragging her toward the dance floor. He'd never witnessed anyone trying to avoid catching the bouquet before. Most would have been eager and willing as he tilted his head to the side thoughtfully.

Julien watched her the entire night.  She nibbled on her food, never touched her piece of the cake and never once joined in on the dancing and socializing occurring around her.  She was detached from it all. 

What an enigma, he thought. She was certainly different than anyone he's ever seen and it held his attention.

Annie didn't want the attention. She didn't want to catch the bouquet. It irked her ego. Everyone knew it was for desperate single women hoping to be the next bride in line to be married. Annie was not desperate and knew without a doubt she was not the 'next one'. It did not matter anymore. 

To stay well hidden in the background is what she preferred.

Eventually she gave up fighting Brett. It would only catch unwanted attention and it was the last thing she wanted and so she allowed him to pull her forward.

The stare burning her back never let her be. She knew his familiar gaze watching her every move all night. It made her feel self conscious and uncomfortable. But Annie never dared look back in his direction for the entire night. Her self-control was slowly slipping and she feared he might see through the cracks in the walls she put up.

Reluctantly approaching the grouped ladies, Annie remained in the very back by herself as the eager 30 or so women, pushed and shoved each other in hopes to gain a better advantage. Once they calmed down, they held up their arms as Sheila turned her back in position, ready to throw her bouquet.

Silence filled the room, the crowd going quiet in anticipation.

It happened in slow motion. Sheila's back was turned.

The only sounds were coming from the ladies who were squealing and jumping in excitement as she bent her knees, pulled up and threw her bouquet up so high, it went back further than all the women expected.

It landed right at Annie's pointed, high-heeled, red satin stilettos.

Annie looked down with wide, shocked eyes.

This must be a sick joke, she thought.

Whispers broke throughout the ballroom.  Annie heard people whispering and murmuring, Ice Queen.  Unfortunately, she was labeled the term because many thought she was heartless and uncaring, cold and detached.

And she did not care.

Her unwillingness to open up to others caused the label to be attached to her name.  If they thought she was cold before, Annie knew she was even worse now.

Sometimes it is better to be feared than loved was something her father always said to her.   Patrick reassured her most people were intimidated by her.   People believe what they saw and form their own judgements and never really open their eyes to find what lies beneath the surface.

Annie tuned out the whispers and focused now on the recent predicament that happen to land right at her feet.  She looked up in disbelief, witnessing the ladies that were waiting twenty feet ahead of her scornfully watching her, their jealousy burning holes into her skin.

She frowned at their foolish behavior and ignored them, squatting slightly to lift the beautiful rose filled bouquet of pink, white and yellow in her numb cold hands. Cheers broke out all around her, and Cici caught her off guard with a forceful hug and giggles.

"I knew it!" She whispered in her ear.

Annie searched past Cici's head and spotted her parents standing at the end of the stage watching her with love shinning in their eyes. Her father nodded and her mother smiled, giving her a thumbs up. Brett was standing in his black tux, hands in his pockets, a wide smirk on his handsome face as he sent her a wink.

Sheila gave Annie a side hug and a quick peck on the cheek.

"Congratulations. I was hoping it would go toward you. You're next now!"

Annie refrained from rolling her eyes and smiled instead.

"We'll see." She replied, doubtfully.

It felt like life was playing a sick joke on her. She was hung up on a man who didn't even know she existed in his life.

"Don't you see Annie? It's a sign. Things are going to change, and soon, I know it!" Cici claimed happily.

A sign? Annie refused to believe in false hope.

"I guess." She mumbled quietly. 

Before heading back to her table, she felt herself being dragged to the middle of the dance floor as the music blasted from the speakers.

Sheila, Cici, Sonny, and her sisters started dancing, "Dance with us.  You haven't danced not once tonight."  Michael said, holding her waist. 

The bouquet was taken from her hands and she peered over her shoulder to find her mother smiling, "I'll take good care of this for you. Enjoy yourself. You need it." Was all she said, walking across the dance floor.

Annie smiled gratefully and looked around and just realized how selfish she was.  Being surrounded by her family momentarily melted the bad and helped her focus on the good. The happiness and love shinning from her loved ones faces was enough to briefly forget.

It made her realize there comes a time in life when you put the past behind. This anchor weighing her down was drowning her slowly and Annie refused to allow it to continue. Life was too short not to be happy.

It's time to heal and let go.

Annie forced her tense shoulders to relax and joined in the laughter and dancing, releasing all that was eating up at her. They all stayed dancing for the next three songs as the DJ played one up beat song after the other.
*****
"Before we call it a evening we would like everybody to join the newly weds on the dance floor for the last dance for the night. We ask each gentlemen to invite a lady he did not accompany this evening to dance the waltz ..." The conductor of the orchestra announced through the mic.

Annie was sitting alone on the table, while most of her family members were scattered around the ballroom.   She sat straight up in her seat listening to the man's request.  After all the dancing, eating and socializing the evening was coming to a close. Watching the couples gather and stride onto the dance floor, Annie perched her elbow on the table, resting her chin in her palm waiting for the music to start. 

Sensing a presence behind her, she turned slowly.  Glancing up, never expecting to see him standing there, her mouth parted in surprise as she found Julien's silver-gray eyes fixated on her.

He stood tall and proud in all his masculinity, the determination evident in his posture.  The inviting body heat he released standing before her warmed her up as she stared back at him.

An emotion flashes in Julien's eyes when their gazes clashed, but before Annie could decipher it he covered it up with one of determination, and a wolfish smile. 

"May I have the pleasure?"  He asked simply, extending his arm. 

Her cheeks react immediately turning red, and his smile grew further.  Annie searched past him for Caitlin who was striding with her partner, Duncan for the dance.  Staring back down at his extended hand, Annie did not let herself hope nor feel for the moment and decided to take it and accept his offer.

Her hand fit perfectly in his.

As always his hands warmed her cold ones while leading her forward.   One of Julien's hands rested on her waist and the other held her hand up to the side in position, Annie gently rested her free hand softly above his shoulder.  The air between them was full of uncertainty and discomfort as Julien turned her in his arms as they swayed to the soft slow music of the waltz. 

All she yearned to do was lay her head on his chest and have him hold her, telling her the accident and his amnesia was just a bad dream. But the temptation was so hard to fight, the barrier was already in place between them, like static in the air.

It was a dim reminder of what was lost. 

The lights in the ballroom dimmed down to create intimacy and the strobe lights turned on, twisting and turning against the dancing couples. 

Annie glanced up at Julien trying to keep her features neutral.  The sharp plains of his face were hidden in shadow due to the low lighting making it impossible to read his emotions.  They danced with skill and elegance amongst the other couples, neither of them speaking.  Trying to distract herself from starring into his beautifully strong eyes, Annie pretended to watch the other couples around them.

Julien inhaled the sweet scent emitting from her.   He purposefully bent his head lower to breath in more of her intoxicating scent, which seemed oddly familiar to him.   Sweet and inviting, it made his senses come alive. 

Her touch sent a powerful burst of need inside of him, and in response to this desperate need to feel more of her, he brought her closer against his body.  It was not customary in the waltz to be so close but Julien couldn't stop himself.

He listened as the beautiful woman in his arms sharply inhaled in response.

It was so dark in the ballroom and the dance floor was so crowded, Julien did not realize he smoothly maneuvered them to the opposite side away from prying eyes.

"What are you doing?" She whispered searching his face. 

He couldn't tell her how good she felt, that she belonged in his arms.  He couldn't even remember her.  But it felt right. The need was overwhelming and strong.  Nothing in his life felt more right than that very moment. 

Julien stared at the innocent dark blue eyes and was lost in their depths, in a state like trance.  Instead of answering her, without thinking,  he did was his heart wanted and slightly lowered his face and tilted his head to the side brushing his lips against her parted ones, ever so lightly.

Although the kiss was feather light, and brief, it was filled with sensual hunger.   A fire ignited inside of him, needing more of her, burning in need to continue.

Julien pulled back ever so slowly awaiting her reaction. 

A bewildered expression crossed her features and her eyes widened.  Julien's eyes narrowed back to her full tantalizing lips as she touched them softly. The confusion was written all over her face.   Feeling her start to stiffen and withdraw from him Julien instantly tightened his strong arms around her slender waist, crushing her to his hard defined chest. 

"You're not going anywhere."  He told her firmly with an underlying warning. 

He could never let her go now and he wasn't about to let her get away from him like all the other times....
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How was it?  Looks like Juliens body senses her...something clicked.

Stay tuned for more in the next chapter!

Please vote!  Thanks Shaz!