"Sir! Sir!"

When Chanyeol hears the muffled and distressed cries, he comes back up to the surface, his vision a little blurry because of the chlorine stinging his eyes. When he finally figures out where he is and what he's doing, he spots a man at the edge of the pool, his outfit telling him that he's some type of guard.

"Jesus Christ I thought you were dead," the man says under his breath before redirecting his speech at Chanyeol, his voice loud. "It clearly states that the pool closes at 10 PM. It is three hours past that time, sir."

The way that he says sir is a little bit of a sneer and it causes Chanyeol to snort, the giant climbing out of the pool right next to him. When he's standing on dry land again, he's only a little taller than the guard, the man looking a little startled and intimidated (who wouldn't be afraid of some guy swimming in full clothing at 2 AM?).

The man's eyes narrow and he examines Chanyeol closer, the guarded look in his eyes slowly disappearing. "Are you Park Chanyeol?" he finally questions and Chanyeol grins.

"Yes, sir."

And now he's fully glaring, surprising the giant who thought that he just met a fan.

"Sorry, but I'm going to have to escort you out of this hotel."

"Wait—what—"

It doesn't occur to Chanyeol to check the man's nametag until after Sehun and he are kicked out of the hotel, the two of them standing at the entrance with their two suitcases.

Huang Zitao, it says.

—

"Well shit," Sehun says as he flops down on the significantly smaller bed, letting out a deep sigh. "You just had to go fuck around in the pool at 2 AM?"

"Hey, I would've been fine if I didn't meet the wrong person at the wrong time," Chanyeol defends, making Sehun sit up and raise an eyebrow at him.

"You mean the guard?"

"Yeah... I sorta used to know him when I was in high school. He was my neighbour, and a really good friend of Baekhyun's."

"Baekhyun, as in the guy that you've been crying about this entire night?"

"I have not been crying!" Chanyeol exclaims quickly, but Sehun just bursts out laughing when he sees the idol's huge ears turn red.

Chanyeol sighs and sits down at the couch across from the shabby bed, not even caring that this hotel was of less quality than the earlier one. He decides to tune out Sehun's boisterous laughter as he replayed some scenes of the past in his mind.

It's no surprise that Tao kicked him out, to be honest. Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun and Tao had a deep friendship back in the day, and there is no doubt that Baekhyun told Tao about everhthing that happened between him and Chanyeol. Tao probably still hates Chanyeol for treating Baekhyun like trash.

Chanyeol slumps in his seat as he recalls what it felt like to be underwater, before Tao interrupted him. It felt nice, and in the short minute and a half that he had been under the surface, he, for some reason, thought about what it would be like if he wasn't an idol.

Would Baekhyun and he have a figured something out? Or would he have kept rejecting Baekhyun even when living in the same city and neighbourhood? Would he still have set up Yoora and Baekhyun like the idiot he was, even if he knew Baekhyun didn't even like girls?

He remembers a time during his two-year training when life was not looking bright, where he ended up starving himself for most days and only ever doing whatever the company told him to do. He was feeling worthless and miserable—he didn't know if he was ever going to debut with how terrible he was at everything—and coupled with the fact that he got the news that his mom was ill back at home, he felt... horrible. He blamed himself for everything that happened and he has the vague memory of standing at his place's balcony, just staring over the edge at the cars below. He's not proud of the thoughts that went through his mind at that time, but he figures that it's just a part of life.

The thing that kept his sanity together was, somewhat pathetically, the little bear that sat on his dresser. It would remind him of a certain someone's smile, and sometimes he'd bitterly put the bear away because he'd tell himself that there would be no chance for him to ever see that smile again... but it always somehow ended back on his dresser or in his arms. 

Baekhyun became a distant memory that comforted him to think about, even if things ended terribly between them. It somewhat made him feel better—knowing that Baekhyun was out there living, going to the university that he wanted to go to (as he had read through Yoora's email), and, he hoped, forgetting about their relationship. Whatever their relationship was.

"Go sleep on a bed, idiot, there's two here," Sehun points out, taking Chanyeol out of his thoughts. He can see Chanyeol closing his eyes and he feels a little worried, because he hasn't seen Chanyeol this tired ever since a few months before his debut.

"Yeah, yeah," Chanyeol mumbles.

Chanyeol falls asleep on the couch anyway.

—

The next morning, Chanyeol's back is so stiff that he feels as if it'll stay that way forever, groaning when he stands.

He takes a quick shower when he realizes it's already 9:40 AM, meaning that he had a little over ten minutes to get to the University in time to steal Baekhyun after his chemistry class.

He wonders if Baekhyun's going to listen to him even if he forcefully pulled him away—but again, Chanyeol doesn't want to have to force Baekhyun.

While drying and messing with his hair a little bit (he's not a hairstylist so it ends up just being his natural floppy hair),  he thinks about what he'll start off with. Saying "I like you" right off the bat was probably a terrible idea, and being too casual about it was even worse.

Maybe he'll just start it with, "We need to talk."

After he applies a generous amount of concealer under his eyes and slips on a mask, he leaves the hotel, knowing that Sehun will be smart enough to guess where he went.

Luckily, the hotel that they moved to is closer to the university so there's no need for him to hail a cab, so he settles for taking the streets on the less crowded side. It takes a few minutes (while jogging) for him to get there and he's lightly panting when he gets to the cafeteria area, taking two turns before he gets to the class.

He comes slightly late, as the last students are trickling out of the chemistry class. Chanyeol peeks inside and sees that no one's there, swearing under his breath before he turns back to the cafeteria. Before he can fully make it there he hears a familiar laugh, turning back around and walking over to that sound.

As he turns the corner, he sees Baekhyun standing there, arms filled with books and a smile on his face. Chanyeol can see both Baekhyun and his friend's sides, allowing him a full view of their expression.

He slows his steps before he stops altogether, looking at the way that Baekhyun stares and talks to the guy who's—along with being taller than Chanyeol—looking at him in the same way.

He can just barely hear them talking, and the only words he catches are: date, again, and fun.

Chanyeol feels a painful pang in his heart and he backs up a few steps, the pieces clicking in his mind even if he doesn't want them to.

He feels stupid when he thinks about how he forgot to consider the fact that Baekhyun could've had a boyfriend this entire time—it's been five years. Why wouldn't someone like Baekhyun have a boyfriend?

He's amazing, Chanyeol thinks, as his stature drops in defeat, I'm not the only one who wants him.

And Baekhyun looks happy, which is the thing that makes Chanyeol admit failure. He doesn't want to take away that happiness twice, and if this guy who's taller and more attractive than him can give that to Baekhyun, then he'll gladly go back to being merely someone that Baekhyun hates on in the comments and in a group chat. Or, better yet, someone that Baekhyun finally forgets.

Chanyeol mentally swears when he feels tears build in his eyes and he really doesn't want to admit that Sehun's right—he has been crying about Baekhyun, and it's with his blurry vision that he sees Baekhyun and his whatever-he-is turn their backs on him, walking away.

He feels weak, as if he can't move even if he wants to. There Baekhyun is, walking away, and Chanyeol can't even summon the courage to properly apologize to him. Maybe he'll never have the courage to do it, considering the fact that he'll be going back to film a drama tomorrow.

He feels dumb. He feels like he can never do anything right in his life—has never done anything right in his life, and he's just going to keep making the same mistakes. But a part of his mind keeps telling him that what he's doing is right, because, he reasons, Baekhyun's happy with the guy and if Chanyeol goes to apologize now, he doesn't know if he'll be able to refrain himself from proclaiming his feelings.

At least it's Baekhyun walking away from Chanyeol willingly this time.

Baekhyun hadn't met him at the park for a reason, and Chanyeol will now accept—

"Oh my god! Is that Park Chanyeol?!"

Chanyeol's head snaps to the side when he hears the exclamation, wondering why of all times he has to be figured out now, and he briefly meets the eyes of Kim Jongdae, feeling entirely confused. Jongdae shouldn't be at all surprised that Chanyeol's here, because he's seen him before—but it hits Chanyeol that this is not what he should be worrying about.

He looks back to where he was originally staring and sees Baekhyun and the guy turning back to look, his senses going into overdrive when he realizes that Baekhyun's going to figure out that he had undoubtedly gone to the university to find him.

His entire body is screaming at him to leave because Baekhyun can't see me. He doesn't want to seem even more pathetic than how he has been in the past few weeks, and he's just hit a new low when he figured out that Baekhyun's interested in someone.

Someone that isn't him.

When Chanyeol locks eyes with Baekhyun, he runs.

—

happy 6 years with exo!!

also sorry for not updating in ages i was stuck on these next chapters but i think i have it figured out! unfortunately this will most likely be the only update of today because it's currently 1 AM and my break is over...

sucks that i'm at a writer's block for the entirety of the break and i escape when the break is over ugh

i hope you've been having amazing days, and i love EXO with all of my heart and hope for their success, whatever that is in their view.

P-Nut oot.