I finally went back to school, and Jenny was driving me as usual. I could never keep my walls up around her. She was my best friend and saw right through all my attempts to pretend like everything was ok. She had asked me to come over several times, but I always declined her invitation.

With each passing day, I could see the concern growing on her face. I couldn't blame her, with the roles reversed, it would have concerned me too. 

I passed my reflection day after day and saw the same person staring back at me. She was pale with black circles taking up permanent residence under her eyes. I tried to fake a smile. I did every single day, but my attempts always failed. Without my permission, the sadness seemed to always find its way back to my features.

I had tried so many times to eat, but each time, my stomach felt nauseous as soon as the food reached my mouth. The instant it entered, it felt like hot coals. I needed to spit out. It was as if there was an invisible guard keeping watch. Their entire job was preventing any nutrients from reaching my stomach.

Dad continued to master his disappearing act. The closest I came to spending time with him was feeling the warmth from the cup of coffee he left behind each day. When I drifted off at night, he would appear. That at least gave me some sense of peace, knowing he would come home. Without that, I would have been crawling out of my skin with fear. He had only left me alone for the entire night the one time.

What bothered me the most was the overwhelming feeling that I don't fit in anywhere. There was no purpose to my existence. I would hear people laughing and talking and I wanted to be part of it, but somehow, I was different.

I never felt comfortable in any circumstance or around anyone except Jenny and Jake. Without fail, I would always squirm under my skin. I would hope they wouldn't notice that I was a stranger trying to infiltrate their space. It was the loneliest feeling to not belong anywhere. I wanted to be wanted but knew it was beyond my reach.

Jake had been trying to check up on me, but I did not have the energy to let him into the mess that had become my life. It was nice of him to show concern, but there was no way he could ever understand. I still appreciated that he tried and wished that he could somehow make it all better.

Day after day, I spent my time alone in my room curled up in my bed. It took me by surprise when I heard a knock on the door one day. I didn't get up to answer it and assumed whoever it was would go away. I had gotten good at that maneuver.

To my surprise, I heard dad answer the door. That was a bit of a shock as I didn't even know he was home. I guessed he had finally made an appearance. I listened to determine who it was. It shocked me to hear a female voice.

They were having a lengthy discussion about something. As they got closer to my door, I realized that it was about me. I finally recognized the voice. It was Jenny's mom, Mrs. Christy.

I heard her pause at the door. It slowly opened to reveal her standing in my doorway. Jenny was hiding behind her. I could see that my dad had exited the conversation and retreated into the house.

This was the first time Ms. Christy had ever been inside my house and the thought of it freaked me out. I hated when people saw even the outside. To see the inside was like someone peeling off my armor, seeing me for who I was.

As they entered the room Jenny peeked out from behind her mom. "I'm sorry," she mouthed as her mom approached my bed and sat down. I watched her, not at all certain what was going on.

"Sky" she started. I tried to put a smile on my face. I wanted to hide all the darkness, but I failed. She looked at me with worry etched into her face and I could have sworn I saw a bit of guilt there too.

"I know things haven't been going well, honey. I think you should come home with us for a few days," she explained. I thought about her proposition for a moment but resisted. I could not leave my dad alone.

She reminded me several times that dad was a grown adult who could take care of himself. It was me she was worried about. There was a desperation in her voice as she pleaded with me to come with her. I loved Mrs. Christy and could not bear the thought of disappointing her, so I decided to go. They helped me pack a bag and waited in the car for me to join them.

I went into the kitchen first and found dad sitting at the table. He had his legs propped up on the table and he was eating peanut butter from the jar. He never met my gaze. "Dad, is it ok if I go to Jenny's for a few days?" I asked, trying to be respectful. I knew he could have cared less either way.

Staring straight ahead, he mumbled, "Sure." Hating the feeling that I was abandoning him if only for a few days, I walked over and kissed his cheek. I told him I loved him, and he nodded, never breaking his trance.

As I walked out of the kitchen and headed to the car, I could not shake the feeling that he looked like a shell of a man. He appeared as an empty vessel, walking about not knowing where to go or what to do.

When I got to the car, the thought of my dad's appearance still haunted me, so I kept to myself and stared out of the window. Jenny's mom reached over and placed her hands on mine, giving them a gentle squeeze. It was such a small gesture, but it brought me so much comfort.

When we made it back to their house, they got me settled into Jenny's room. I always stayed in her room when I slept over. Being with someone that cared for me was what I needed.

That night after dinner, we headed up for bed and Mrs. Christy came to talk to me. She had a way of getting to the point but still being sweet about it. We have a saying here in the South that says, "You can catch more flies with honey." This woman with her big heart embodied that. She was a true Southern belle, and I always thought her to be so elegant in her appearance and mannerisms. It did not surprise me that she came bearing gifts, hot cocoa, and cookies.

"Sky, honey, I have dropped you off many times but never been in your home" she began. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on over there?" As she spoke, I could see that same tinge of guilt that I had detected earlier.

I shrugged my shoulders, uncertain how to respond to that question. What was I supposed to say? My life was shit, and I hated my very existence?

She continued to speak to me in a loving and soft tone. We talked about everything with my mom and dad and before I knew it, the tears came tumbling down. She looked at me with such tenderness and I knew that if she could have taken my pain away, she would have.

Somehow I mentioned how I was a mistake to my parents during our conversation. This was something they had told me many times and lately, I was understanding how much they meant it. Hearing those words made her brows pull together, and the soft look on her face became stern. She grabbed both of my shoulders and looked me in the face.

"Sky, God knew you while you were still in your mother's womb, he set you apart. Never let me hear you say you are a mistake again." She drew her words, like any good southerner, but they were hard. "You have a purpose, honey. Please believe that," she continued, returning to her gentle self. "What you're going through is a growing spell. He will use these trials and grow them into something beautiful."

Something in how much she believed every word, every line, made me believe too. When we finished talking, she kissed me on my forehead and said, "Night sugar, don't let the bedbugs bite." A true smile came to my face for the first time in longer than I could remember.

The next few days brought more nurturing that had somehow escaped me my entire life. I soaked up every single drop. Each day she gave me hugs and baked us cookies and filled me with words of wisdom. I tried to etch each moment into my memory. That was something I had never had before and would likely never have again. I had to capture it so it would always be a part of me. 

After a few days, I felt guilty. I was there in a warm home, with those lovely people, and my dad was all alone in our cold house. There was no one to speak kind words to him or to even be present so he did not have to suffer alone.

I explained to Mrs. Kristy that I needed to go home and told her how much I appreciated everything she had done for me. She insisted that she would only let me go if I did her one favor and remembered that she is always here if I needed her.

Even though I already knew the second part was true, it brought me so much comfort to hear it. I inquired about the favor she was referring to. She explained that Jenny had been going on and on about a party and she felt it a good idea if I go with her.

Resisting, I tried to explain that I really wasn't ready to be around people. She insisted, and I owed her that much. Jenny and Jonathon had already told me about the party. Jenny squealed with excitement when she found out I was going and Jonathon was over the moon.

That favor of hers made them both happy.

******

A/N

Thank you for continuing to read Sky and Jake's story. So, what do you think? Can love heal someone? It is amazing what a lifelong impact one person can have on another without even realizing it.