You don't know me, you only know what I allow you to know.

Mae

Had football practice early so the guys picked me up and they're going to drop me off. I have lunch money don't worry. Really. Love you. Have a good day at school.

Sincerely, Mr. hot AF

I rolled my eyes as I picked up an apple and headed out to my car. When I was halfway to school, I didn't see the guys like I had been these past couple of days. I felt a little sad they didn't show up. I couldn't help but think, what if he really didn't mean to get me upset?

I knew people were always curious, but they never invited me to their house just so they could ask me that specific question. Should I learn to trust them or were they going to hurt me anyway?

"Hey, Lexi?" I asked, and she came alive.

"Yes, Mae?"

"What should I do?" I asked.

"What situation are you referring to?"

"Should I trust Damien and the Guys?"

"I cannot give you an answer, but you are well aware of that fact," she said, and I knew she couldn't. I was just hoping she would.

I pulled up to the school, and I saw the boys leaning against their cars as they conversed. When I got off my car, they looked at me and their faces lit up when they saw me. They smiled, but I looked away and continued to walk until someone stopped me.

It was a girl that was in my grade. Her name was Crystal, but many people called her 'Slutty' Crystal. I had never called her that nor would I because I thought it was mean. Just because she liked to be with a lot of guys, doesn't give the right for anyone to shame her for her choice of activities.

She was old enough to make her own discussion. She didn't dress slutty, she wore jeans that may have been tight, but they made her look good, and a pretty blouse with sandals.

She glared at me, and I was confused. She was never mean to me, so I didn't know what this was about. Some students stopped and stared. Mainly because they thought a fight would break out, and others rushed to class when the first bell had rung. I looked at the guys and felt embarrassed at whatever was going to happen.

"So what, Mute Mae, you think you're all that because they talk to you? Well, think again. No one likes you and no one ever will," Crystal sneered. I was confused and felt embarrassed that she was making fun of me. Why? What had I done to her?

She was trying to put me down, and I had already gone through enough of that. She was making me upset. I clenched my teeth and gripped the straps to my backpack. She took a step toward me and raised her fist to punch me. When she swung, I caught it. She threw her left hand, and I caught that one as well.

I put her hands down and walked around her, but I stopped when I heard her shout. I turned around to find her hand raised with Damien's hand around her wrist. His face held an angry look. The same one Ryder and Bennett held.

"Don't you ever touch Mae," Damien spoke, calmly but anger was evident in his voice. "This goes for all of you! If you ever treat Mae bad again, you'll be dealing with me."

"And me!" Ryder shouted.

"Me too!" Bennett yelled. 

"I'd say me too, but I'm already on probation with the school, and I promised my grandma I'd stay out of trouble," Max said.

"You're so embarrassing, Max," his sister told him and walked away. Crystal tugged her hand back, so Damien let go. She shoved passed me as she walked to the front door.

"Just because they protected you, doesn't mean anything," Crystal said as she shoved past me.

"Actually, it does," Max told her, and she walked inside.

They defended me. Why? Did they really feel bad about what they asked me? I was scared of trusting. I felt like they'd make fun of me and not want to have anything to do with me. Although, I couldn't help but want to trust them.

The parking lot started getting clear and it was only the five of us. I pulled out my phone and showed them what I typed.

Give me one good reason why I should trust you.

"Because we saved you," Bennett spoke first.

"Because we're idiots," Damien said.

"Speak for yourself," Max said. "I didn't do anything." He looked pretty happy that he didn't do anything to me.

"And because we're sorry. Truly sorry, and we want to be your friend whether you talk or not," Ryder spoke. I saw the regret in his eyes, and I knew he was genuinely sorry, but I was still scared.

Baby steps

My brother's words echoed in my head, and I knew I needed to start trusting. I wanted friends. I've always wanted the right kind of friends. They looked at me with pleading eyes, and I already knew my answer. I wanted to trust them. I nodded my head, and they broke into a smile.

Damien was going to step forward, but Max pulled him back and shook his head when Damien looked at him. Max looked embarrassed.

"Thanks," Damien said with a relieved look.

"Anytime," Max said and walked inside, and I followed him. I had no idea what that was about.

*~*

I couldn't believe I was going to trust them. I only trusted my brother and no one else. This felt like a huge step, not a baby step. Did I make the wrong choice?

I think it was already too late to take it back. I heard Damien calling me and it snapped me out of my daze.

"Earth to Mae," I turned to him and gave him a sheepish smile, and he just shook his head with a smile of his own. "So do you want to do the project at your house or mine?" Project? I zoned out, Economics, so I didn't listen to what the substitute had said. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote on it.

I didn't listen to what the sub said. Can you repeat what he said?

"Yeah. Our teacher assigned a project to do so the sub was giving us instructions. We have to do a 'Getting to Know You' project and that means spending time together. After school," he seemed happy at the thought of spending time together but it made me nervous. I took the paper back and wrote on it again.

Neither. Today's a nice day and the weather is nice. We could go to the beach. All four of us could go if that's okay with you.

"Yeah, that sounds nice," Ryder and Bennet had this class too, and they were partners so it would be easier if we all went together. I wrote on the paper again and handed it to him.

My brother has football practice so we could grab something to eat at Jenny's diner and head to the beach after.

"Yeah, that's good. I'm starving," Damien nodded. The bell rang, so we headed to our cars. Today, Bennett drove. That's probably why I didn't see them this morning.

The times I saw them on the same street as me was when Ryder was driving. I tapped on Damien's shoulder and pointed to my car, and his face lit up. I arched my eyebrow, and he laughed.

"What? These car rides are exciting, and I know the drill. I'll give my phone to Ryder," he went to Ryder and gave him his phone. Damien went to tell Bennett we were going to a diner first, so I got into my car to wait for him.

I knew I said I'll trust him, but I also said I'll take baby steps so his phone has to stay with Ryder because that's how he was able to hack into my system in the first place.

He got in the car, so I drove out of the school and headed to the diner. We arrived at Jenny's, and I led the way to my booth, and we sat down. I sat down and Ryder sat next to me, and Bennett sat in front of me with Damien sitting next to him. The waiter took our orders and walked away.

"So do you come here often?" Bennett asked, and Ryder laughed while I nodded.

"That sounds like the start of a pickup line," Ryder laughed. I took out my phone and typed.

If you want to ask me something you can but it has to be a yes or no question, so I could nod or shake my head.

I showed them, and they nod their heads, understanding what I was saying.

"We won't ask anything too personal. Just don't get too mad if we ask something and don't realize that it's too personal," Ryder assured and gave me an apologetic smile. I patted his shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Is Zach your only sibling?" Bennett asked, so I nodded. "He's in the same grade as you, does that mean he got held back?" I shook my head.

"So you got held back?" Ryder asked as if that was the right answer. Damien and I both shake our heads. I gave Damien a confused look, but he just shrugged and smiled.

"Oh... so you guys are twins?" I nodded at Bennett because he asked the question.

"Wow. We've been going to school with you for three years, and we didn't even know that. Sorry," I shrugged. It's not like the whole school knows. The food came, and we ate in comfortable silence.

We headed back to our cars and drove to the beach. It was really sunny, and I knew the beach would be windy yet sunny, now that's my kind of weather. I sped my way to the beach with Bennett next to me the entire time. He tried racing a few times, but I was just enjoying the speed. I didn't really expect racing from Bennett.

"Just give him a taste of his medicine," I stopped at the light, and Bennett revved then I did the same. Damien laughed because the sound of his car was lower. Like Ryder's. The light turned green, and I raced down the street with Bennett trying to catch up to me.

Ping

I slowed my car, and Bennett slowed down too. I looked at Damien, who had a nervous look. And I knew why. He told them about my car. I didn't like to tell people about it. I looked back at the road; I didn't feel mad, I didn't know how I felt.

I knew it was nothing, but I still wondered why Damien would tell him or them. I saw the cop drive away, but I drove at the speed limit. I didn't want to race Bennett anymore. I saw the ocean and it looked beautiful.

I drove to the parking lot and parked. Once I got, I popped my trunk. I always kept blankets and waters in here for an emergency. I grabbed two blankets and handed one to Ryder then grabbed my bag.

We went to find a good area and set our blankets down. We sat and pulled our books out and other things we would need.

"So I already have some basic information about you just some more questions and then I'll talk about myself." I nodded understanding what Damien was saying and got my notepad ready along with my pen to show him my answer.

"Favorite color?"

Grey

"And your parents?" I didn't show any emotions as I looked at him, meeting his gaze. I could tell that he was trying to figure out what I was feeling, but I was not going to let him. I just shook my head and looked down at my notepad.

"I'm sorry, Mae. I didn't know," I wasn't sorry. I looked up and all three of them were looking at me with sadness in their eyes while mine held no emotion. "You don't have to hide what you're feeling." I furred my eyebrow while I looked at him. What the hell does he know?!

"It's okay to feel," Bennett said.

It's not like I wasn't trying to. The way he said it made me feel guilty but there was nothing to feel guilty about. It upset me that he made me feel that way.

"Why are you so closed off?" Ryder asked. Again, he's speaking about things as if he knows the whole truth. If that's what he wants fine. I'll show him all my emotions. I wrote on my notepad, but I didn't show him. I showed them what they desperately seemed to have wanted.

I showed him the pain that I had, the hurt that I held, my regret, my loss, my coldness, my sadness, the vulnerability in my entire being, my insecurity, and most of all my anger. Something I didn't show him was my happiness because I didn't have any. I got up and got my stuff. They were speechless. They were frozen, but I didn't expect anything less. I left them sitting there, but I didn't forget to leave my notebook.

There. Are you happy? You broke one of my walls. I know that's what you wanted. You may be able to read anyone you want but you have to remember you're just as easy to read when you let your guard down.

People are the same. Always wanting something from me. They just wanted to be my friend to know why I never speak or why I acted the way that I do. But I've had a hard life so far so don't blame me for having trust issues because the man that I thought was supposed to protect me from the monsters became that monster.