Pratham

Stepping inside the bathroom, I freeze in shock, because standing right in front of me is Nitya, with only towel wrapped around her body.

Her skin glistening with droplets of water, her hair damp, clinging to her shoulders, her cheeks flushed a deep crimson, and her eyes wide with shock.

I find myself being unable to tear my gaze away from her.

"Prathamji!" she gasps, and I notice her clutching the towel tighter around her body.

"Sorry," I blurt out, finally finding my voice. "I heard you screaming. That's why I came inside. Are you fine?"

"Y-yess," she stammers. "Th-there was a spider."

"Spider?"

She nods, looking anywhere but at me. "It w-was very big. I jumped after s-seeing it and tried to s-shoo it away. In doing so, I h-hit my injured arm on the wall. That was the r-reason why I s-screamed for the second time."

I step closer to her, looking at the stitched wound on her arm. "Is it still paining?"

She shakes her head. "It's not paining much now."

Instinctively, I reach out, my fingers brushing against her arm right below the wound.

Nitya sucks in a breath, her eyes finally meeting mine.

For a moment, we just stand there, our faces inches apart. I can feel the heat radiating from her body, the scent of soap lingering in the air.

My heart beats furiously against my chest, and I wonder if she can hear it.

"Prathamji," she whispers, her voice soft and uncertain. There is something in her eyes-the same shine that I had seen in her eyes back at that abandoned building. I had been unable to decipher it then, and now too, I can't understand it.

Slowly, I let my hand slide down her arm, my fingers grazing her soft skin.

Her breath hitches, and instead of stepping back, she leans into my touch.

"I... I should go," I murmur. But even as I say the words, I do not move.

Nitya nods, her eyes still locked on mine. "Yes," she agrees, her voice soft.

Yet, neither of us move.

The air between us cackle with tension, a mix of awkwardness and something tender.

I blink, finally tearing away my eyes from her, and taking a few steps back to add the much needed distance between us.

"Umm, I'll leave then," I tell her and step out, closing the door behind me.

Leaning against the wall beside the door, I take a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart.

This closeness with her, this unexpected tenderness toward her-it is confusing, disarming.

The warmth I had felt inside as I had gazed into her eyes is still lingering within me. A curious sensation spreading through my chest. Her orbs had held the emotion that called to something within me. Something that has been dead for a long time now.

Dead for a long time.

The words reverberate in my mind, and like a cold gust of wind, the memory of her sweeps in my mind, startling me.

Sandhya.

My heart clenches painfully in my chest as I remember the last moment I had with her. The anger she had in her eyes along with the words that she threw at me.

"This happened because of you, Pratham," she had said. "Because you broke your promise."

With Sandhya's last words jolting my entire being, I straighten up and walk out of the room, willing myself to push Nitya's thoughts away.

Marriage with her was forced on me. It was an alliance born out due to the need to keeping my father's shrine untainted.

Nitya is my responsibility and she will forever remain that. I won't let any feelings or connection creep between us.

*****

Once in the living room, I sink into the couch and run my hand through my hair.

I feel a strange mix of guilt and confusion rising within me. Guilt for even allowing myself to feel something for Nitya, and confusion over why I can't stop thinking about her.

Every time I close my eyes, her vulnerable orbs flashes beneath them. Her tentative smiles that she has recently started giving me.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

I forcefully shake my head, wanting to stop those images from flashing in my mind.

It's important that I maintain the distance I have carved between Nitya and me. Letting her in my life will be breaking the promise I made to Sandhya after her death, and I can't do that.

I need to stop this. I really need to.

Yet, as I stare blankly at the TV in front of me, my thoughts keep drifting back to Nitya-the way she had looked at me, the way she had shivered under my touch and leaned into it.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I again shake my head, strengthening my resolve to keep my distance from her.

*****

After having the dinner that Bhabhi prepared for us, Nitya and I return to our apartment and enter our bedroom.

"Sleep now," I tell her. "You must be tired after the eventful day that you had."

Nitya nods, starting to make the bed. "You must be exhausted too. You should also sleep."

Once she is done, we both lie on the bed. The silence thick between us as we stare at the ceiling.

I notice Nitya shift as she turns to look at me.

"I was so scared when I was alone in that building," she says, and I feel the itch to also turn and look at her but I resolutely remain still, continuing to stare at the ceiling. "I did not know our home address too, so I could not ask how others the way to this building."

"I will write the address here in a piece of paper and give it to you. Keep that paper with you and also keep your bag with you. Even when you are buying shawl for yourself," I tell her after a few seconds.

"And what if I went swimming?" She suddenly asks, and feeling confused, I turn my head to look at her.

"Swimming?"

"Yes. Shrutiji was telling me that like we have lakes in our village for swimming, there is something here in the city too. The name was a bit weird. Swee...what was it....sweemi

"Swimming pool," I complete for her.

"Yes. That was the name. Bhabhi was saying that she will take me there in a few days."

I begin to nod but I suddenly realize something.

"If you want to go swimming, you need to buy different kinds of clothes too. Did Bhabhi tell you about it?"

"No, she didn't," Nitya replies. "We were talking about it and buying the shawl, but were then interrupted by the rally. What kind of clothes is needed? In village, I used to swim in my casual clothes."

"But you can't wear your casual clothes in the swimming pool here," I tell her. "You will need to buy proper swim wear."

"Really? How are those clothes, Prathamji?"

"I can't explain it to you verbally. I will show you a book about swimming tomorrow. In that book, there are some pictures of those clothes."

"Do you have that book now?" She asks.

"Yes. It's on my table. Why?"

"Can you please show it to me now, Prathamji? Otherwise, I will keep thinking about it and won't be able to sleep."

"At this hour?" I shake my head. "It's too late now. I will show you tomorrow."

"Please," she insists.

"But, Nitya-"

"It will only take five minutes, Prathamji. I will sleep after that."

"Okay." I sigh, relenting, also because I too want to see her reaction to those pictures.

After all, I have only seen her wear sarees until now. I wonder if she will be comfortable in wearing such clothes for swimming.

Climbing down from the bed, I switch on the lights in the room and head to my table to get the book.

Once I find it, I return to the bed, turn to the page with the women wearing the swimming costume and hand the book to Nitya.

While she looks at the book, I look at her.

Her eyes widen and her mouth opens letting out a low gasp when she looks at the picture. I can't help but smile as her whole face reddens before she closes the book.

"So, you know now," I say, taking the book from her, putting it on the bedside table and switching off the lights before lying on the bed. "Will you go with Bhabhi to buy these types of swim wears before going swimming?"

"N-no," she slightly stammers. "It's okay. I will swim in the village."

I cannot properly see her face in the dim light of the lamp but I am sure she is still blushing.

"But why? Didn't you like those swim wears?"

"No. I liked them," she answers. "And they looked good in those women too. Perhaps because they were beautiful. They might not look that good on me."

I frown at her words. "Why won't they look good? You too are beau-" I abruptly stop myself in time from completing the sentence.

"Yes? What were you saying?" She asks when I abruptly stop.

"Nothing," I reply, my voice colder than I intended it to be. "Sleep now."

Thankfully she does not say anything after that and I turn onto my back to stare at the ceiling again.

Nitya is breaking through my defenses and I do not know how to stop it anymore. It's getting easier to be with her, to talk with her. One moment I feel comfortable talking and smiling with her, but the very next moment the turmoil arising within me throws me off-guard.

I stiffen, startling out of my thoughts when Nitya suddenly scoots closer to me. I know she is not asleep because her movement is hesitant as she wraps her arm around me.

Shock courses through me as I feel her body pressed against mine. This is too much, too close.

I raise my hand to push her away and tell her not to forget the reality of our relationship but her voice stops me.

"Whenever I close my eyes, I start remembering what happened today. The way I was scared and alone. Can I please sleep close to you tonight?"

Her words tug at my heart. The vulnerability in her voice, the way she is clinging to me as if seeking some kind of solace-I find myself hesitating from pushing her away.

My hand hover in the air, unsure of what to do. Part of me wants to pull away, to tell her this isn't right and she should not expect this from me. But another part, a quieter part, cannot bear to leave her bereft.

With a sigh, I lower my hand to my side. "Okay. Just for tonight."

Nitya nods, her face buried against my chest. When I feel her shiver, I instinctively pull the blanket tighter around us and properly cover her.

I will wait until she is asleep, and then, I will gently move her away.

Yes. That is what I will do. Provide her a temporary comfort, nothing more.

As the minutes tick by and I wait for her to fall asleep, I start feeling her warmth seep into me. Her closeness is unsettling, yet oddly comforting.

Slowly, I feel myself relaxing. The steady rhythm of her breath, the softness of her body against mine-it lulls me into a strange, peaceful state.

As my eyes grow heavy with sleep, I raise my hand to move her away, but instead of doing it, I find myself wrapping my arm around her and pulling her close to me.

I try to remind myself of why this is a bad idea, but her warmth and the comfort I felt through it were too much to resist. Before I know it, my eyes close, and I drift into sleep with Nitya nestled against me and my arms wrapped protectively around her.