🥀 I've been under scrutiny

You handle it beautifully

All this shit is new to me

I feel the lavender haze creepin' up on me

Surreal, I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say

No deal, the 1950s shit they want from me

I just wanna stay in that lavender
haze🥀

🥀🥀🥀

Angana hated the color grey. Because, for her, grey was the color of mixed emotions, detachment and confusion. However, grey was Raghbir's favorite color. Because, for him, grey was the color of neutrality, balance and calmness.

But at that moment, when she was lying on their grey bed, under a grey duvet, staring at the grey ceiling, she couldn't help but be confused. Why the hell did she let him color their bedroom grey when she wanted to go for lavender? What was she thinking?

Oh, she wasn't thinking. Raghbir's soothing voice always snatch away her ability to think. And she had no control over the uncontrollable love that she had for her then boyfriend and now husband.

Aah, lately Angana was wondering a lot. Wondering how they could be together for seven years and yet their honeymoon phase was not over. Maybe Raghbir had hypnotized her with his hypnotizing dark brown eyes.

Uff, she had never imagined she would be so in love with him when they first started dating. He was a handsome guy and he asked her out and she couldn't refuse and they could never break up even though there's long list of arguments in their dating history. They just stayed together. And now married for six months.

She was living in a dream, maybe.

“Anaa, you are not ready yet?” His voice left her startled as he entered the bedroom. He threw the laptop bag and the black office coat on the couch and began undoing his tie.

Angana leaned up against the headrest. She didn't realise that her afternoon nap went upto the evening. She looked down at what she was wearing. Oh, she was wearing her pink satin backless top and shorts. Angana jumped off the bed and ran to the closet. Raghbir couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips seeing her run around the room like a headless chicken. She was rummaging through her endless array of sarees when he entered the closet and picked a random grey suit for himself. Angana was still confused at what to wear and began undressing.

“Wear black.” He spoke, putting a full stop to her confusion.

“Yeah, black!” She smiled and began looking through her black sarees.

When Raghbir was fully dressed into the grey suit, Angana stood in front of him with five black sarees dangling in her arms.

“Ragh, which one?” She asked.

Raghbir sighed at her choosiness. He looked at the sarees she was holding and picked the one with golden border.

“Wear this. And wear the waistchain too. I like it.” He pulled her cheek when she made a face at the mention of waistchain.

“But I don't like it. You keep tugging at it.”  She complained while putting the other sarees back in the closet.

“Anaa, I like it.”  He stated, handing her the saree he picked and stared at her as she began undressing. She was putting on her undergarments when she saw him staring at her. “You can wait outside.” She told him.

“No,” he shook his head, “I like the view here.” and he smirked.

Angana glared at him before hooking her bra and moved to wear the petticoat and blouse. He smiled and leaned against the wall, quite enjoying the scene. She was tucking her saree when he interrupted her, “Lower it.”

Angana looked at him in confusion, “Lower what?”

With a knowing look, Raghbir neared her and pulled the saree a little down than her waist, leaving a lot of her midriff exposed. He looked around for the waistchain and found it carelessly thrown in a drawer. He hooked the cold chain around her slim waist, making her shiver at the cool sensation.

“Perfect.” He mumbled and adjusted the pallu on her shoulder. With a quick peck, he left the closet. Angana huffed a sigh, not understanding why he still had that numbing effect on her body after all these years.

🥀🥀🥀

They entered the Agnihotri mansion together. The living hall was decorated with red roses and the room was buzzing with relatives catching up with each other. A twenty five year old Sahana came running to hug her sister and brother-in-law.

“Di! Jiju!” She first hugged Angana and then her second favorite man in this world after her father. Raghbir welcomed her bear hug with equal excitement. Sahana was like his adopted sister. He adored her just the way a kid adores a doll.

So many of Angana's so called well-wishers had warned her that her younger sister may end up having affair with Raghbir. Shallow thoughts, right? But they didn't know that Raghbir had lost his newly born sister when he was only five.

“Where is Mom and Dad, Saani?” Angana asked her.

Sahana ended the hug, “Oh, they must have sneaked around. You know how they are.” She smiled awkwardly.

“Of course, I know.” Angana shook her head. So many times she had to hear them do their stuff in her teenage. It was so awkward.

Raghbir looked between the two sisters awkwardly. He knew what exactly they were talking about. But he didn't want to imagine the scene. His mother-in-law and father-in-law having sex. Aah, but he could see the scene in his imagination. And he wanted to hit his head on a wall for such a wild imagination he had. Before his imagination could run any wilder, he wrapped his around Angana's exposed waist and tugged at her waistchain, out of habit. Angana glared at him for not keeping his hands to himself even in public.

Raghbir ignored her glare and waved at Angana's cousins sitting near the balcony. “C'mon, let's join the gang.”

Shashank passed him a fake smile as they headed towards them. Raghbir knew Shashank wasn't fond of him. Well, he wasn't fond of him either. But he got along quite well with Miraya, the adopted daughter of Rudraksh Yaduvanshi and also Angana's best friend. Maybe because Miraya was a twisted person, just like him. And maybe because Miraya and Shashank were sworn enemies. Ansh and Aas were sweethearts though. When they were babies they had got the opportunity to pee on his clothes plenty of times. And yet he wouldn't be able to stay away from them. He had this soft corner for babies since he was himself a baby. And he still treated them like babies even when Ansh was twenty-three and Aas was twenty.

Angana shared a bear hug with Shashank, Miraya, Ansh and Aas one by one. While Raghbir avoided a hug with Shashank and passed him with one of his many fake friendly smiles. Shashank could care less. Miraya side-hugged him and asked, “I hope my best friend isn't troubling you,” earning a glare from Angana.

Raghbir replied with a quirky smile, “Oh, of course, she is. I feel like I've married a toddler,” and Angana pinched his bicep, making him wince.

Raghbir pulled her rosy cheek and moved to hug Ansh who almost fractured Raghbir's spine with his strength. Oh, Ansh didn't just look like a giant. He really was a giant.

And then came everyone's sweetheart, Aas.

“Raghbir Jiju, I miss you a lot nowadays.” Aas told him.

“Why, kiddo? You just visited us last week.”  Raghbir asked, Aas still hugging him.

“I don't know. Looking at you and Angu Di makes me feel like getting married too.” And everyone began laughing at her innocent words.

“Well, I also feel the same looking at both of you.” Sahana confessed while sipping on her apple juice.

By then Aas had ended her hug with Raghbir and once again his hand wrapped around Angana's waist, out of habit.

“We are blessed, I guess.” Angana smiled while looking up at Raghbir who in response pulled her cheek again.

“Sorry, I am late.” But a familiar voice broke their trance.

Abhimanyu Raval. Angana's ex-boyfriend. And Raghbir's worst nightmare.

Angana felt Raghbir tug at her waistchain, getting uncomfortable in Abhimanyu's presence. But she smiled at Abhimanyu and asked his well-being. Raghbir managed to pass him a fake friendly smile and signaled to a waiter who served him a glass of whiskey. He sipped on the drink to avoid making any conversation with Abhimanyu, who got busy talking with Shashank.

That was another reason why he wasn't fond of Shashank. He was way closer to Abhimanyu.

“Ragh?” Angana mumbled his name. He hummed in response and looked down at her face.

“We can go to my bedroom for a while.” She offered.

He smiled at the idea and put down the glass of whiskey, “Sure.”

And they walked away from the balcony and headed upstairs.

🥀🥀🥀

The doormat read ‘A Swiftie Lives Here’, a reminder that his wife was a die hard fan of Taylor Swift. Now he had himself began to enjoy the Taylor Swift songs over the years in her company.

Angana opened the door and all he could see was lavender. Lavender walls, lavender bed, lavender duvet, lavender closet. Everything in that bedroom was in the shade of lavender. Blame Taylor Swift who sung Lavender Haze and made Angana fall in love with Lavender.

“It's way too lavender.” He commented while slumping down on the lavender couch.

“What? Our bedroom is also way too grey for my liking.” She complained with a pout.

Raghbir cooed at her and made her sit in his lap, “We can shift your Taylor Swift museum to the spare bedroom at our house.” He offered.

Angana turned to look at his face with excitement, “Really!? I thought you'll be annoyed if I kept fangirling even after getting married.”

“Why would I be annoyed? Taylor Swift was a big help in keeping us together all these years. Everytime you'll be angry at me, I'll sing Lover and your anger would fly out of the window.”  He chuckled.

“Wait, let's go through my collection!”

She stood up from his lap and entered her closet. Raghbir followed her inside.

“This is a my coffee mug with Taylor Swift icon. This is a my 1989 cap. That's my Lavender Haze hoodie. And that's my Swiftie hoodie. That's my 1989 hoodie...” And she kept on showing him her little museum in her closet. She had endless Taylor Swift icon hoodies, accessories, pillows, mugs, buttons, cologne and what not!

“Anaa, jaan, stop. I think we should head back downstairs. Remember it's your parents' wedding anniversary?” He sweetly reminded her and Angana sighed, “Oh, I totally forgot. C'mon, let's go downstairs.” She held his hand and walked out of her lavender bedroom.

🥀🥀🥀

As expected, Chahana and Jashn Agnihotri were standing by the five tier cake when Angana and Raghbir finally met them.

“Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad!” Angana hugged both of them, so did Raghbir. Though as always he felt a stiffness in his mother-in-law's hug. That lady would be on cloud nine if Raghbir and Angana ever ended up getting divorced.

The couple cut the cake and the feast began. Angana got busy devouring her favorite food while Raghbir took the opportunity to make conversation with his mother-in-law's party members. He and his family had always been interested in politics. It gave them perks in the business world. Corporate funding of the political party had been a very strong and old link between the Agnihotri and Ranavat family. That's what brought these families together.

“Raghbir, aren't you hungry?” Angana asked him when he came to sit beside her.

“Feed me.” He made a baby face and pulled her cheek.

Angana pushed his hand away and put a spoonful of spicy chicken in his mouth. But his spice tolerance was good so he enjoyed the bite. They ate from the same plate. As always enjoying the little moments they get with each other.

But then something caught Raghbir's attention. It was Abhimanyu standing beside Chahana and some other politicians. The scene wasn't something new but it still bothered him.

“Ragh, you know, I love you.” Angana's words caught his attention. He looked at her, confused.

“You don't have to feel insecure in Abhimanyu's presence.” She patted his arm.

“No, that's not what I'm thinking. I... I'm worried about something else.” He replied.

“What's bothering you?” She asked him.

“I... I was wondering if we could take your stuff some other day. I am tired already.” He made an excuse.

“Okay, now eat. You aren't eating properly.” She put a morsel in his mouth. Raghbir chewed the food, still thinking about Abhimanyu.

Maybe, in their honeymoon phase, Raghbir totally forgot about the politics he had always wanted to play.

•••

First impressions?