A rather miniature town— swarming up in the frosty cocoon of midwinter season, schleping the unwelcoming glacial flatulence through the window pane of an oddly particular house.

A dimly litted earthen lamp was flickering it's pastel yellow hue decrepitly as if wrestling an futile venture in opposition to vanquish the gust of breeze.

It was Ishita's 18th birthday Eve and there she was— clenching the rigid, hefty holder of a whetted knife in a close proximity with her carpus.

Her unruly raven locks scattered against her forehead while her unclad arms were enfolded with miscellaneous horripilation yet her lips didn't quiver for just a mere second. The scorching flame was reflecting in her amber orbs no match to her inner fire yet the typically stream of hot tears were nowhere to be found.

Her lashes did tremble for once when the precipitous intervention of the rough wind extinguished the small flicker of light— the small flicker of hope, swallowing the room in its deadly cold clutches.

The silvery moonlight illuminated its dainty glow in the adjacent along with the effigy of an amicable foreigner who she was busy gaping at the whole time.

It was rooted with one leg draped over another as it's lustrous bronze skin glistening up with luminescence. A tiny flute on lip and a levitating morpankh was adoring his ever so delicate grin.

Despite of her dishevelled morale her bleeding heart couldn't help but awed at the indescribable scene.

His smile, as if filled her long crumpled soul with the obscurity of existing in her not so vibrant life.

He was her salvation in her perished body and wounded vivacity.

And she needed to put an end to her dead anatomy to save her almost at the brink of dying soul. Because it was occluded with all of him.

The chamber was inundating in pungent crisp as the dead lantern meticulously inflating the darkness within her lonesome benevolent soul.

A conversation so quite and geniune was exchanging between their two pair of lifeless and undead eyes as an devoid of consolation was revolving around her strong memory of how her macabre soul just like any other soul wanted to live but the unabusive toxicity of her parents murdered it in a scathing way. To the extent that her once gleeful heart wanted to do the most gruesome murder that day.

It stabbed her bleeding soul whenever her mother would accuse her for the nasty things she had never think of doing, repeatedly. It stabbed her everytime whenever her father would tell her he was ashamed of her and wished she had never born. It stabbed her everytime whenever she tried to explain her friends how she once almost died from panick attack and they would congrats her rather jokingly that atleast she was alive. It stabbed her a little more whenever the world would call her unworthy of kanha's love.

Or was she really?

There couldn't be a day when she won't sleep with drenching eyes with a heart so full of longing to witness her lover in her dream like a dying pied cuckoo under the grieving shade of sapling. Even if for a second, even if from afar- a glimpse of his otherworldly mystifying phantom was all she ever wanted. Only to wake up with an inadequate heart with tears of resentment in her crimson eyes.

Rather it would start with her parents reminding her for the umpteenth time what a worthless and disgrace she was. Her only parents did make sure that she would never pretermit the bone chilling words in her ordeal.

Fragmenting the child within her little by little.

She could enclasp the soul rupturing torment again and again if it meant for her to get the short spanned jubilation, she pessimistically seeked to have.

Because all she endured was excruciating pain but the contemplated mellifluous tranquility never bestowed it's venerated occupancy to retain her persisting hysteria lucid.

Oh how she desirously besought for communication like a droughty wanderer in oasis from her lover.

The blue boy.

But nevertheless it scooted her off in its own pool of disheartening chagrin with the equivalent perpetual pinched shut mouth.

She was exhausted. Oh, she was exhausted, so much.

So she was determined to let herself gravitate in the awaiting arms of dark blue demise where her dying soul could be survived.

Death was not what she longed for but the need of solitude was overwhelming- shutting down all the chaste in the process. And it seemed at that moment only death could gift her.

She could wait no more to stay forever with her Krishna. Far away from all the putrid chaos.

An almost inaudible soft gasp as the blade gyrated across the rubescent insignia on her wrist, pseudoing the shadowy idol's carmine palms where resting the celestial instrumental cane.

Ironic, as if in reality it was his artery which was haemorrhaging, not hers.

The sustained breeze wept and hissed as her body swayed rhythmically from side to side as her contented remainings broke into a gentle smile one of without guile.

The silent plea was whirling across the dimly litted chamber as the radiating moon casted it's silvery hue on her lying serene-filled figure.

Only the thick trail of blood oozing out from the aligned deep cut was shimmering under the intensity of the dark idols perished orbs.

Silence.

A gush of cool zephyr caressed the undead girl's insipid lids causing it to flutter open. The murky amber eyes became accomodate to the ephemeral phosphenes as the faint hue of the newly blooming golden Sun washes away the atmosphere.

With a sense of newfound succour, she became aware of her contemporary whereabouts where she found herself perching on the embankment of the Yamuna river with her head softly pressed against an unyielding broad shoulder.

A wave of fusing angst and nostalgia pervaded her perception as she swiftly craned her neck to meet with the unwavering nonchalant face of the cowboy, her blue lover— who absorbed himself by peering in the endless lacuna. A pearl like teardrop glistened in contrast to the aurora in the corner of his left eye.

"Kanha!"

What seemed like in between a sequel and shriek, she latched herself on top of him as almost promptly he cradled her small body compared to his against his masculine arms lovingly and started to rock the sobbing mess tenderly, all the while she nuzzled her face in the crook of his nape. The sandalwood and fresh musky aroma enveloped her nostrils and mind as she desperately clung to savour the unearthly moment of euphoria.

"I-i..." now that eventually she was there, with him, her ceaseless choking throat made it forlorn for her tangled words to fathom the accurate words— she had spent processing the entire of her lifespan.

Her clutch on his slender waist reinforced a little as if her cotyledon like oscillating body was yet to believe the reality of the transcendental illusion.

"Ev-everyone hated me ka-kanha, they lo-loathed my existence. My mo-mother didn't trust me, my father was as-ashamed of me. They said I don't de-deserve your love. I had fallen into de-depression and I felt so lo-lonely there. I didn't have an-anyone to share my pa-pain with. I couldn't ta-take it anymore. A-and..."

"Shh... it's okay. I know, i know. I'm here," Like a soft cocoon his gruffy murmurs started to reverberate within her deeply rooted soul, nurturing it with the yearning warmth of love, "I'll always be."

"I'm so sorry for being a disappointment, kanha. I'm so sorry I couldn't live the life you gifted me with. I'm so sorry for not being able to love you the way I wanted. I'm so sorry instead of making you proud I've put you in shame by ending my life. I'm so sorry for everything, kanha. I'm so sorry."

The howling of cries dissolved in the uninterrupted tranquility of abyss as the bronze stained ripples of the cosmic Yamuna swayed rhythmically, mourning with her. The untidy breeze swept past by the two sitting figures as his dark locks danced across his temple, brushing all the way across his tinted cheeks where the strains of teardrops twinkled.

"I read all of your letters." He whispered as the ascending sun casted it's golden complexion ever so slightly, washing away all the night's tenebrosity with an elementary stroke.

Her distrait ears perked up at the specific mention as her saturated amber eyes coruscated with an apprehensive shadow. Her eccentric gaze lifted up leisurely to lock with his coal eyes and she breathed, "You did?"

"Mmm. I read it everytime the first rain falls on the earth."

Reposing in the awaited arms of her blue boy, now that in every aspect of her life she had too much to share with, she just pretermitted her very own quiddity.

His feet, like lotus, floating above the palpitating waves of the river as if every drop jostled one another in a stampede to graze his feet. The aureate anklets chimed with the tempo, producing such a soft and soothing melody in the somber silence.

The pitambar embellished with red patterns emerged as a crooked bouquet of wild marigolds contrasting against his dark blue hue as it secured against his midriff.

His thorax and biceps were ornamented with floret engraved bijouterie whereas his crimson tinge palms were clasped with her small hands tightly like roots uphold the tree in hurricane.

Rose petal like lips were streched into a full-blown enchanting smile, resembling as the sunshine after a tedious winter of frosty midnight, suffusing her soul with it's tender tentacles of warmth.

The pale silvery moon was reflecting in his hypnotic obsidian eye spheres where the frail, gawky, adolescent could be discerned.

His shoulder length defiant bumblebee like curls were gliding across his pristine skin as the gentle breeze stroked his morpankh lovingly.

Her hands absentmindedly hiked up to caress the azure colored peacock feather as her fingers cascaded down, smoothening the disobedient texture. In retaliation, it lowered itself even further to lean into her touch in it's own accord.

At that moment, she abhorred those traitorous tears that was trickling down relentlessly from her lashes, smearing his vague form from her hazy vision. She wanted to imprint every nook and cranny of him and fetched it like a sempiternal part in her reminiscence.

"That doesn't matter anymore. I, no longer need to write you letters, now that I'm staying with you forever. Right, Kanha?"

Beckoning her head to lay against his chest he planted a lingering soft kiss on the side of her forehead, unanswered. As her eyelids slumped shut.

Placing his chin atop of her head his apathetic gaze distinguished as the sun ascended from it's horizon, slithering the time away bit by bit like a handful of sands.

"...I don't... want to return... to that shithole of a house..." The little human maiden's incoherent words reached his ear as the pungent mellifluous words came out distastefully from his mouth.

"Happy birthday, love."

In the next second, the exquisite adjacent faded away leaving only the gloomy seething wind whipping and hissing as a vortex started whirling in hysterical tornado, literally yanking her away with a tormenting tug. Peculiar strangled commotion seized her body and mind as her eyes stretched out impetuously.

"... You lazy piece of a shit. Wake the fuck up or I'll throw this busket of cold water on you. Don't you have any better things to do other than eat and sleep? Go and watch your classmates, scoring top marks and you? Only god knows how many guys you're stuck with nowadays. What else could be the reason for a teenage girl like you to engage in her phone 24/7? Such a disappointment you're, Ishita..." her mother spat out viciously at her grimacing face as she propped herself up from the bed, staring at her robust wrist to the window ledge simultaneously. The sun shone dimly outside, as if scorning another one of her woeful day in her life which she poignantly attempted to ended up last night. Again.

'He didn't come yesterday also. Did he?'

"You're a shame to us. I hope you won't born today. It's better to have no child than having one like you!" Her father's voice bellowed across the living room as she groggily made it to the washroom as the sickening bile rose up to her throat.

Splashing cold water on to her enervated face her feet carried her to the front door.

The murky climate camouflaged the feeble ray of the sun as the omnipotent grey sky represented her inner turmoil rather meticulously. The hushed quietness revitalizing her soul's void.

The first raindrop plummeted on her left eye cascading down smoothly, mingling with her own salty teardrop was such a phenomenon. As the reverberating sound of pitar-pater continued to echo so was her mournful cries escalated more and more raucous.

Maybe death wasn't easy at all.