It had been two days since Niall and I had had our date and we haven't spoken more than two words since. We just keep our space from each other on the bus. I'm kinda embarrassed to talk to him. They're in a concert right now but I stayed on the bus on my own for it. I didn't want to be seen with Niall iin public again.

I logged into twitter while I lounged in my bunk, waiting for them to get back from their concert.

'I still can't believe Niall kissed that thing ugh.'

'It's been two days I bet they're not evening going out stop panicking guys.'

'Friends don't kiss with tongue.'

I sighed and threw my phone to my side. I couldn't be assed to read through this. I coudn't be assed with anything. I just want to go home to Joanna. Joanna, shit I didn't message her or FaceTiime her since the first day.

I fucking hate this life. I just wanna go home. I'm still kinda hurt by what Niall said because I think I kinda like him but I don't know. Just the way he kissed me, I would do it again in a second but he doesn't like me so I don't know why I am fretting over this and getting myself all worked up.

I was on the bus on my own so I decided to take matter of Joanna into my own hands. I got out of my bunk and peeped into Nialls. I seen his MacBook. Perfect. That will have Facetime so I can FaceTime Joanna. I reached up and took it into my own bunk.

Once I got it running I seen he had a password on it. Fuck. Hmm, what would his password be? He told me he loved Derby the last day on our date so I typed that in and I was actually quite shocked when the laptop unlocked.

I found the FaceTime, after a lot of clicking things that I didn't know what they were. I got my phone and typed Joanna's number into it and pressed call. After three rings Joanna's face appeared on the screen. "Joanna." I smiled.

"Jenny, oh my God do you have Niall's phone or something?" She asked me.

"Why do you ask?" I asked her.

"Well, it said [email protected] is trying to phone me so."

"Nah, it's his MacBook." I told her.

"Where is he?" She asked me.

"At a concert." I replied.

"Does he know you have this?" She asked me and I shook my head. "Jenny, you can't just do that, what if he finds out?" She asked me.

"He won't, I'll leave it back where I got it before he's back, he'll never know." I smiled at her.

"But onto a more important note; You fucking kissed him." She shouted. I felt a pang in my heart when she said that. "Why aren't you excited?" She pouted.

"I am, it's just, it's not a real relationship, so it doesn't mean anything." I said to her, not liking the way the words sounded pouring out of my mouth.

Yes but that's not what people at my school think, I'm so popular now just because my big sister was seen with Niall Horan!" She smiled at me.

"I'm glad you're getting something out of this." I sighed.

"Are you not happy?" She asked me.

"It's not that I'm not happy." I lied. "It's just I want to go home."

"I know, I miss you lots but look, now we can FaceTime." She smiled. "Seriously mom is going off the nut with me now instead."

"Oh no, please tell me you're kidding Jo." I sighed.

"Nope, yesterday I forgot to put the grapes back in the cupboard and we had a twenty minute screaming match." She told me. "I think she's actually missing you now, why haven't you answered her calls?" She asked me.

"Would you answer her calls?" I asked her.

"Good point." She said. "What's the bus like?" She asked me. I give her a tour of the bus and sat at the table in the kitchen part.

"I hate this though, I miss you so much." I sighed.

"Is Niall nice to you?" She asked me. I hesitated with this answer, I wanted to be truthful but I didn't want to burden my little sister with my problems.

"Yeah, he's really nice to me." I lied. I know Niall's not being nice to me but I don't want to make him out as a rich asshole either. Not to my little sister anyways.

"That's great, maybe someday you will be going out for real, oh and hey Noah was phoning wondering where you are." Joanna told me, fiddling with something on her desk.

"Oh shit, I forgot to tell him." I said, facepalming myself. Noah is my best friend, we've been friends since we were like eight and he's at college now so I don't see him as much but I forgot to tell him about me going away. I was in such a fluster I didn't have time to tell him.

"Yeah, he was mad you left without saying goodbye." She told me.

"Ugh, I always do something wrong don't I." I sighed.

"No, you don't Jen, don't put yourself down." She said.

"Thanks Jo, but-" I stopped when I heard a noise at the door. "Fuck I have to go Niall's back." I said and shut the laptop before she even had time to say goodbye. I quickly ran down to the bedroom and put Niall's laptop back on his bed just as he walked into the room. He give me a funny look as I felt the sweat accumulating on my forehead.

"S'wrong with you?" He asked me, eyeing me up and down suspiciously. I was surprised he even spoke to me.

"Nothing." I said and walked past him down to the sitting room. I got a fright when I sat down because the bus started to move. "Woah, where are we going?" I asked Liam.

"We're travelling all night, I don't even know where we're going." He said. After a while I went back down to my bunk to check my phone. Niall was in his, on his laptop with his headphones on. That's when I remembered I had forgotten to delete the latest call. I hit my palm against my forehead.

If he goes into his FaceTime he will see Joanna's number. Oh my God, I'm so stupid. I crawled into my bunk and just hoped he wouldn't check his Facetime before I could sneak on his laptop again and delete it.

I took out my phone and just played a game for a while. I just hope he doesn't see this. "Jenny." I heard Niall's voice call out. Shit. He has seen it hasn't he.

"What?" I asked him, peeping out of my bunk. My heart beating faster than I ever thought it could.

"Will you turn that stupid sound off on your game." Niall snapped at me. I sighed in relief.

"Oh yeah sorry." I replied and just turned my phone off instead.

"And one more thing." He said.

"Yes?"

"Why the fuck were you on my laptop?" He asked me and I gulped. I felt my throat going dry and I just wanted to throw up.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked him.

"It was on fucking FaceTime when I opened it you shit and it has some number I don't know." He said. "Tell me the fucking truth, you were on my laptop weren't you?" He shouted at me.

"I-I yes." I said and felt as though I was shrinking into a ball. God fucking knows it's what I wanted to do. I got back into my bunk trying to hide from him.

"Get to fuck out here again and stop hiding on me." He said but I ignored him. I then seen his legs dangling down from his bed and he jumped down. He looked into my bunk and he looked pretty pissed off. "Well?" He shouted at me.

"I wanted to talk to my little sister and I don't have FaceTime and you do and-"

"Yeah, you could have fucking asked you wee shit, I have known you three days you can't be taking my fucking things as if you fucking own them and how the fuck did you get my laptop unlocked?" He asked me.

"It wasn't a hard password to guess." I shrugged.

"Don't you take that fucking tone with me." Niall shouted.

"What tone?" I asked him.

"You know fine fucking well, I swear to fucking god-"

"Woah, woah, woah, what's going on in here?" Louis asked, walking into the room. I got out of the bunk and pushed past Niall.

"She stole my fucking laptop while we were on stage and FaceTimed her fucking sister." Niall shouted. He grabbed his laptop and showed Louis.

"Well, she shouldn't have taken it without your permission but can't you see why she did it?" Louis asked him.

"No, I can't fucking see why she did but I swear to god Jenny if you touch my laptop one more time I will not be fucking happy with you and I will make your time on here terrible." He said, inching closer and closer to me. I gulped again and tried to blink back the tears but one dripped down my cheek. I am not meant to fucking cry, why the fuck am I crying.

It looked as though regret flashed though Niall's eyes for a second, but you had to be quick to recognize it. He give me one last glare and he walked away, slamming the sliding door shut after him. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in and I put my hand on my chest trying to regain my breath. "Are you okay Jenny?" Louis asked me, coming over to me and wrapping an arm around me. I just nodded and tried to leave but he held me back. "Jenny, seriously? Don't heed Niall anyways, he's just a little stressed these days and he's probably taking it out on you, don't take it to heart." Louis said to me.

"Thank you." I said and he give me a hug. It was a nice hug but to be quite honest I rathered Niall's. No, I can't think like that. No Jenny, stop it.

He pulled back from the hug and I awkwardly went back into my bunk just wanting to hide away forever. "I'm always here Jenny, okay?" Louis said to me.

"Yes, thank you." I said and he nodded and left. I closed to curtains of my bunk and turned on the small lights in it so I could see what I was doing. I opened the drawer and took out my sketch pad and pencils and started drawing.

I don't know how long I had spent drawing but once I was finished everyone was in their bunks asleep. I put my sketch pad back in the drawer and lay down. I had been in my pyjama's for ages today so at least I didn't have to go get changed.

I lay down and that's when it all hit me. This is my life now. I don't want this to be my life. I want to go home, I would rather get shouted at by my mom then by Niall. It hurts more when Niall shouts at me because think I may possibly like him the tiniest bit and I don't know why.

I probably don't like him, he's the first boy I kissed, I only think I like him.

I don't know why but I started to cry. I just want to go home. I hate this life on the road with the boys and I've only been with them four days. This sucks.

What sucks the most is Niall hates me. I wish I could say I hated him too.

But I can't, can I?

______________

A/N Don't forget to vote and comment !!! :)