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CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
"a painting of a fish"
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(nature vs. nurture)

"I NEED TO SEE Miguel Diaz!" 

The lady working at the front desk barely spared Jules a second look. The girl was breathing heavily, having had sprinted inside from her car, and she was still in her workout clothes. The cool blast of the air conditioner was sending goosebumps up and down her arms, and she stared at the woman with enough intensity to make anyone else dissolve. 

 The woman blinked, unimpressed. "Only family are allowed in the ICU."

Jules didn't even hesitate, "I'm his step-half-cousin." 

 The woman snorted lightly, "like I haven't heard that one before." 

 Jules's nostrils flared, and she felt her cheeks flush with anger. Bringing her fist down harshly on the desk, she managed to capture the attention of the majority of the waiting room as she leaned forward. Blue eyes narrowed, she spoke through a sneer. "I don't care what your stupid-ass rules are, I need to see Miguel Diaz." 

 "Juliana!" 

 Jules sighed deeply as Shira stalked over, grabbing her arm and pulling her back a few steps. Her mother's face was pinched, and Jules knew that she was struggling to stay calm herself. Jules may have inherited most of her brash temper from her father, but her mother certainly had her moments as well. 

 They shared a look, Jules's eyes wide in silent questioning. Shira paused, obviously debating what the consequences to their actions could be, before giving a barely noticable; silent nod. 

 Jules took off. 

She dodged around a wheelchair and full on shoulder-checked the doors to the ICU. She didn't have time to make the mental calculations as to the probability of her being arrested, as her feet carried her down the hallway until she made it to Miguel's room. She skidded to a halt, nearly falling over as she recognized the number on the door. 

 She straightened her back and peered through the window, and for one glorious second, she was looking Miguel in the eye. 

 He was there. His dark eyes and his messy hair that had grown unruly over the past weeks. His eyes widened slightly when he saw her, and a small laugh pushed past her lips as she felt the knot in her stomach untether. It was him. He was there, he was okay.

"Hey!" 

 "Oh fuck-" Jules whirled around, her eyes widening as she was the very angry looking front-desk lady stalking over to her. Jules held up her hands as her mother began jogging after her, speaking in a rushed tone. She tried for an innocent smile, but it must have come off as more of a grimace. "Hi, so-" 

 Before she was even given the chance to think of an idiotic lie, the door to Miguel's room opened. Carmen rushed out, her face flushed as she smiled at the woman. "Hello, does there seem to be a problem?" 

 The woman opened her mouth to respond, a furious look in her eyes, but Carmen cut her off. "Shira!" She grinned, walking over to Jules' mother and embracing her tightly. Jules faltered, unsure of exactly what was going on, as she shot the front-desk chick a smile in her attempt to feign innocence. She wanted more than anything to look back over at Miguel - to see his eyes. To see that he was okay. But she restrained himself. First and foremost, she wanted to make sure she wasn't about to get arrested for idiotic behavior in an ICU.

  Shira hugged back, an act that was nearly as surprising to Jules as the fact that she allowed her daughter to break into a hospital. The woman put a hand on Carmen's hair, empathy oozing from her tone as she patted her shoulder. "We came as soon as we heard." 

 Jules stayed silent as the three women turned to glance at her. She brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear, clasping her hands in front of her. Carmen turned to the woman who was working the front desk, smiling softly. "It's alright. Just a few minutes." 

 There was a moment of dead silence. Jules muttered a prayer under her breath, her muscles tensing as if she was entering a fight. Finally, the woman gave a barely distinguishable nod of her head. Jules felt her heartbeat increase to the point of pain, whirling around and leaning her full body weight against the door. 

 She nearly fell over when it opened. Catching herself on the door handle, she whipped her head up so that she could look Miguel in the eye again. Her chest swelled, and her heart grazed her ribcage as he stared back at her. A smile on his face - his cheeks red as if everything was normal. 

 Jules didn't know what to say. She thought she would - that words would come easily upon seeing him for the first time since That Day. That somehow, everything would be simple again. That she wouldn't have to deal with words rising up her throat like bile; painting her mouth with a sour taste as she tried to keep her feet rooted into the ground. 

 He spoke first. "Nice hair," Miguel said, his voice slightly hoarse. Jules felt her knees nearly give out from the force of her relief, so she ran forward and collapsed into him. Wrapping her arms around his waist, her face buried into his chest as her knee hit the hard ground. 

She realized that she didn't need to say anything. Miguel's arms wrapped around her middle, hers tightly around his shoulders as if she was trying to make sure he was real. She wasn't sure how long they laid there, wrapped in each other's arms, but it was long enough for Jules to feel his heartbeat and try not to cry. She couldn't believe it - Miguel was here. He was here and he was okay.

 "Oh my-" She pulled away, wiping at her cheeks to make sure no tears fell. She placed a hand on his cheek, and the boy smiled. 

 "Hi." 

 "Hi." 

 Jules sucked in a deep breath. "Miguel, I don't even know what to say-"

 I'm sorry. That's what she wanted to say. I'm sorry that it wasn't me.

 But she didn't. She just swallowed, feeling as if her chest was trying to collapse in on itself. "I- I cut my hair with safety scissors. It took like, two hours to get it right."

 Miguel laughed, and the sound made Jules smile so brightly it didn't feel real. "Of course you did. I'm letting mine grow out for a bit, trying a new look." 

 Jules laughed. She sat down on the bed, curling her legs under her and resting her hand on Miguel's arm. She realized she was wearing her brace, and rotated her shoulder to try and keep it from pinching the skin. 

 Miguel noticed, and his eyebrows knitted together. "Your shoulder-" 

 "You have to be kidding," Jules chuckled, brushing her hair behind her ear. "Don't even start with me, Diaz. I'm fine. I'm brilliant. How are you?" 

 "Well, I'm well rested, that's for sure..." he shifted in his seat, his eyes darkening as his face fell. Jules grabbed his hand, her eyes boring holes into his. 

 "What is it?" 

 "They don't want me to know," he spoke slowly, as if trying to find the right words. "The doctors and my mom. I guess things aren't as perfect as they try to make it seem." He glanced down at his legs. "My legs. It's like they're... numb. Like - like I'm trying to make them move but they won't." 

 Jules felt her heart drop down into her chest. He couldn't move his legs... he couldn't move his legs, and for a moment, she felt as if she couldn't move at all. But she broke away - determined to not let any despondency settle. She was with Miguel. She had to make him feel like he was okay again.

 "Well, it won't be that way for long." There was a determined edge to her voice, as if she was trying to convince more than him of her words. "You've only been awake for like... I don't know, not long." She shrugged, "you'll get better, I know it. Because you're the only one who is actually interesting in this goddamn town." 

 Miguel smiled at that. "Thanks, Ana." 

 Jules smiled. She felt disassociated from reality, like she was floating above her body like some weird-ass ghost. She put a hand on the side of Miguel's face, and wondered if kissing him would feel the same as it did before.

 But she didn't get the chance, as the door slung open and Shira walked in. The woman's eyes were soft as she smiled at Miguel, brushing some of her dark hair from her eyes. "We're so glad you're awake, Miguel." She spoke earnestly, and Miguel grinned at the sentiment. 

 "Thank you, Ms. Monroe." 

 "Ms. Monroe," Jules repeated in a teasing tone, moving her hand to teasingly ruffle the boy's hair. "Such a gentleman, you are." 

 "I do my best." 

 "Jules," Shira clasped her hands in front of her body. "We have to go, since Miguel isn't technically supposed to have visitors yet. We can come back tomorrow at noon." 

 Tomorrow at noon. Suddenly the next day felt as if it was a lifetime away. But Jules just wordlessly stood up, not wanting to make the hospital staff hate her anymore than they already did. She leaned down to press a lingering kiss on Miguel's cheek, exhaling as another broad smile graced her lips. "See you tomorrow at noon." 

 Miguel's eyes were shining. "I'll be counting down the minutes." 

 "How lame of you," Jules asserted, but her face was too soft for the words to have any ulterior meanings. She felt the absence of Miguel's hand as she walked over to her mother, turning one last time before the door closed. 

 They locked eyes again, and Jules chuckled to herself. 

 Because for the first time in weeks, she felt whole again.

 ***

"DO YOU THINK AN orthepedic surgeon will do Miguel's operation? Or a brain specialist?" 

 Jules flicked a glob of paint onto the canvas in front of her, tilting her head and squinting at the mess of color that had absolutely nothing to do with the assignment. "I don't know. It's not his brain, it's his legs." 

 "Well, yeah-" Demetri slung his legs over the edge of the couch, and Jules shot him a sharp look. 

 "Stop moving." 

 "I know you're not painting me," the boy shot back, rolling his eyes and moving his entire head with the action; making his raven hair fall in front of his eyes. "You've been using green for the past ten minutes." He gestured to his red shirt and black pants with a coy raise of his eyebrow. "I'm not an alien."  

 Jules stuck her tongue out as she added another swirl to her canvas. "Have we had that proven yet?" 

 "You didn't answer my question." 

 Jules huffed. She spent another moment scrutinizing her assignment for the art class she didn't want to be in, and decided that she was far past help. Setting her brush down, she cracked her knuckles and slumped in the seat next to her friend. "I don't know. Isn't it nerves and shit that makes your legs move? So probably a brain doctor." 

 Demetri mulled that over for a moment. His eyebrows pulled together, signifying his deep thought, before he picked up an empty soda can and flipped it around in his hands. "It's will probably be a child doctor."

 Jules scoffed at that, propping up one of her legs as she picked at the green paint that was beginning to dry on her nails. "Miguel's not really a child." 

 "According to the state of California he is," Demetri retorted. "He's seventeen? Yep, one more year until the big-leagues doctor comes in." 

 "Well let's hope he doesn't have to wait another year." Jules said, but the words still made the knot in her stomach tighten. It had been present ever since the previous day, when she heard that Miguel couldn't move his legs. The news that he would be going into surgery that Friday came from her mother, and it made Jules feel like there was a rock sitting on her chest. She hated the very prospect of surgery. Being forcefully put to sleep by a concoction of unreliable drugs as someone cuts you open and messes around with your insides? Yeah, it doesn't sound all that reliable. And after all Miguel went through, undergoing a surgery would be devastating if it didn't work. 

 So Jules was praying that it would work. 

 She was counting down the minutes. It was nearly eleven-thirty, which meant that they could leave to go to the hospital soon. Demetri wanted to tag along, since he "missed his buddy". Jules was restless, so she hopped up from her seat and huffed in exasperation. "This is stupid. Lets go, I'm done waiting." 

 "Can I at least see your painting first?" Demetri asked, hopping onto his feet and crossing over to where the canvas was propped up. "Because I think-" his voice trailed off as he caught sight of the painting, an unimpressed look shadowing his expression as he shot Jules an annoyed look. "Seriously?" 

 The girl mustered up her best innocent look. "What?"

 Demetri picked the canvas up by the sides, spinning it around to showcase the brightly colored, messy exotic fish that Jules had spent the last two hours finishing. "Are you kidding me?" Demetri demanded as a laugh slipped past Jules' lips. "I sat in that chair for two hours!" 

 "Yeah, because your face reminds me of a fish."  

 "What even was the assignment?" 

 "It doesn't matter!" Jules grabbed the boy's wrist, tugging him towards the door. "Let's go see Miguel, come on!" 

 "Fine, but we are re-addressing this later." 

The air outside was warm, but it barely deterred Jules as she practically skipped along. Demetri followed, fanning his face with his hand. "Let's not walk too fast, I don't want to get all sweaty in this shirt." 

 Jules glanced at him with a small scoff, "don't be a baby." 

 "I'm not, I'm being environmentally conscious. Oh! Speaking of babies-" Demetri grinned as Jules adjusted the straps of her shoulder brace. "Your birthday is T-minus three days away, and I am going to need a comprehensive list of anything you want as a gift from your amazing best friend." 

 Jules laughed, brushing her hair away from her face and continuing to smear the paint around the palm of her hand. "I don't need a present, 'Metri. Being alive until seventeen is gift enough." 

 "Well that's dark. And it's funny that you think I'll listen."

 Jules inhaled deeply. Her birthday coming up felt so... trivial. With everything that had happened in the past year, aging was really not something at the top of her 'to-do' list. But the change was inevitable. 

 It made Jules hope that more would change. But this time, for the better.

 Because she couldn't handle it if things got any worse.

a/n:

my middle name should be 'random and incosistant updates'.

anyway i love jules and miguel <33 they're the cutest, they're my babies, i would die for them. i haven't been writing a lot this summer, and i'll need a few weeks to adjust going back to school, but know that i will always update eventually!

also i posted a tua apply fic if you're interested in applying <33

tell me any headcanons//funny quote ideas you have! it helps with my motivation <3

thank you for reading/sticking around, and i love you all!