11:57 pm, Tuesday

Location: Unknown

Dear Alice,

    I didn't break my wrist yesterday. Or any day, for that matter. Breaking my hand is a little difficult when it's the only part of my body that can do anything useful. And, I write with my left-hand toh it wasn't obvious that you'd broken your left one.

 For the record, thanks a lot for that! It does make the opening statement less usual. And who doesn't hate openings? The whole 'First impression being the last impression' is a little scary if you ask me. What if I bump into a person and I'm in a hurry (for some reason) and forget to apologize? Then I'm a bad person, aren't I?

Moving on to family and myself (yes, I'm taking the inspiration for the layout from your letter- sue me), the name's Shameed. Jason Shameed. 

Nah, I'm just messing with you. There's no 'Jason'. I just wanted to sound like Bond (let's be real here, who doesn't?) and Jason was the name that came to my mind first.

Coming to the point, I live with my father and little brother in a little house in Baramulla (that's the eastern side of the globe, in case you were wondering), a place where the cold never seems to end. Neither does the hustle and bustle. So all in all, it's pretty lively here with the constant flow of people that never seem to get enough of Hussain. That's my little brother in case you were wondering. Trust me, when I say this, Lily sounds like an angel compared to the sibling I deal with.

 I've never really understood how my relatives find the little devil entertaining, but hey! I'm not complaining. It saves me the trouble of having to deal with them.

So I suppose that's it for the time being. I really don't know how this letter landed up here without my address on it but let's not think about that. I doubt we'll ever learn the answer to that question.

E̶a̶g̶e̶r̶l̶y̶  Awaiting your next letter.

Yours (insert appropriate term here),

Shameed

PS: Is the word 'ought' an old english derivative?