As the raindrops danced and jumped on the window, Toni stared out. He needed to see his "friend" again. Well, actually his—

But Toni didn't think that. He didn't dare let his mind wander there. Not when it risked longing. No one except the both of them knew--yet. His hand stroked the black telephone just as it rang under his touch. His eyes were alarmed, but his body stayed relaxed. He'd been scared by the phone ringing when he didn't expect it, that was all, he told himself. He wasn't planning to make a call himself, inviting—

"Could you get that Toni?!" His mum called from her study.

His mother worked from home, much too much, and much too late. She was always working, and she didn't like it, but in Toni's current situation, switching between two parents' houses all of the time, it was all his mum could do to keep their little ship from sinking. In other words, she cared for him too much to not make enough to keep up her rent on the new but much needed apartment. She was forced by her ex-husband to rent it when they had finally got their divorce. But as much as she worked, she did get extra money, so they got along fairly.

"Yea, mum I'll get it!"

Carol, his mum, had, of course, let him decorate it. She knew that he loved things to always be tidy and neat, and liked it herself too, for they both "suffered" from OCD. But—letting her pick out the wall colours and all—he'd volunteered to decorate it himself. It was a small place, so they spent less, but got better things. Everything was whitish-pink or grey or black, which were their favourite colours, and everything looked contemporary and steampunk, just the way the both of them liked it. Toni picked up the phone that was now on its third ring.

"Hi, it's Toni, who's there?"

"Hey Toni, it's Will." His voice was a little too high, and it sounded like he'd been crying. And he sounded rather scared of something, but over the phone, Toni couldn't tell what it was. "Would your mum let me stay over at your house tonight? Just tonight, like—"

"Absolutely." He heard Will take another breath in as if to say something like I feel like I'm inviting myself over, or I'm going to be a burden, aren't I? but Toni interrupted. "And no, don't worry about it, you won't be a bother, my mum loves you."

"I love who?!" His mum's voice came from her study.

Toni put his hand on the receiver lightly. "Will!" He called back.

"Yes, I do. Does he want to sleep over? Tell him he's welcome at any time, and tell him to stay for dinner if he can't sleepover!"

"I will mum!" He turned back to the receiver. "She says that she'd love for you to come over or like sleep over. You can have dinner here too."

"You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for, Toni," Will's voice hitched, and Toni just made it out over the phone. Then, just in a whisper, Will's voice came from the ear part of the phone, "I love you."

"You too." His mum was walking down the hall again, towards his location. "When are you coming?"

"In fifteen minutes. I have to tell my dad that you called and invited me over."

Toni smiled cheekily. "Yeah. Then I'll see you in fifteen."

"Bye."

They'd hung up at the exact same time. His mum had come into the room just then, smiling to herself. Toni looked at her and smiled back. She seemed happier somehow. Her dirty blonde hair was messy and played-with in her ponytail, her glasses were slightly askew, and her face, lacking makeup, was tired, everything just as normal. But today when she came out of the study, she seemed happier. Happier. Happier. The bags under her eyes were not as noticeable, her rich brown eyes that she'd passed down to Toni were sparkling, and her knuckles didn't crack when she stretched her fingers out like normal.

"What's up mum?" Toni's face grew curious as he studied her facial features and compared them to their normal appearance.

"Toni, I can't believe it." Her hands ran through her hair, pulling out her ponytail, then tying it higher. "I'm getting a raise. A huge raise."

"That's good, but won't you be working more?"

"No, not too much. In fact, the company is taking some work off, but the projects I have to put together will be bigger. Much bigger. But, this will mean that I have more time to do them, way more time than I need, and I'll get to spend some of it with you."

"That's wonderful, mum. Really."

"But..." Her face grew skeptical.

"Nothing, except for what're we making for dinner tonight?"

"I'll make pasta. I'm sure Will will be here any moment now."

"He said he'd be around fifteen minutes."

"Alright, wanna help me start until Will gets here?"

Toni nodded and found the spaghetti container while his mum filled the pot with water to boil. They got the tomato sauce ready and added both the spaghetti and the tomato sauce to the water. By the time they had done this, they were deep into an embarrassing conversation about how good of a baby Toni was when he was small. Then, as they were serving the food into three bowls, there were three knocks on the door.

"I'll get it," Toni said, and his mum smiled. It was Will. He had a red nose, and slightly red eyes, and an overnight bag. His look was downcast, but he brightened a little when he saw Toni. The kitchenette did not directly connect with the threshold, so Toni held Will in his arms a moment, feeling him returning the hug. Toni's lips brushed his cheek in the second that they broke away, and stepped into the small combined living and dining room. Will smiled as he saw Toni's mum.

"Hi, Carol."

"Hey, Will, how are you?"

"I could be better, but so could everyone. How are you?"

"I'm alright, thanks. Did you have dinner yet, dear?" She asked, not waiting for an answer. "Come and have a seat. Toni and I made some extra for you."

"Aw, thanks. You didn't have to." His smile was genuine.

"Of course we did, dummy, or else you wouldn't've had dinner tonight without eating at your house," Toni said nudging Will's arm lightly, and offering to take his bag. Will smiled back, and let him take his bag to his room.

When he came down, the pair of them—Carol and Will—were waiting for him, talking about how junior year in high school was going and all. When he sat down, they included him in their warm conversation, and everything seemed alright.

...

It was when they were sure that Carol was asleep that they got ready for bed, which basically meant changing their clothes into a pair of more comfortable shorts. They lay on their backs on the queen mattress in Toni's room, looking out of the window, watching the stars.

    "Will, are you alright?" He whispered. Toni moved onto his side, facing the boy beside him. Will made the same manoeuvre.

    "Not really," he said in the same tone, paused, and sighed as Toni's eyes silently asked for more. "My father—he knows that I'm...." He sighed, and Toni nodded.

    "Did you tell him?"

    Will shook his head, no. "He figured out, and he--he said that—" but he didn't get much farther. His eyes gave in on him, and tears started to make crooked lines down his cheeks. Toni pulled him close to his chest. His arms wrapped around Will and his hands caressed his hair. He felt Will silently releasing emotion upon emotion he hadn't been letting out for the past month or so. Tears were skidding out of his eyes, one by one as they lay together on the Friday night. The heat of the New York summer was much different than the one Will felt when the two of them were this close together. When his tears started to wane, Toni drew away from him slightly, valuing the moment. Their eyes met, locked on each other, but Will buried his face in Toni's chest. His tears were gone, but his emotions weren't. Toni's hands caressed his back, drawing his spine with his finger all the way up to his neck. He felt Will squeeze his eyes shut bite his lip to keep any more tears from escaping down his cheeks.

"Toni, I should probably—" Will started, but stopped. He didn't want to leave, even though he knew he probably should've. But he stayed and basked in the comfort of Toni's embrace. Besides, Toni's finger was placed on his lips, not allowing him to speak. Both of their eyes closed, and they felt what little humid air there was circulating between them.

    "I love you."

    The three words rang in the air when they escaped Toni's mouth and made Will's heart soar. Those three words were more important for the both of them that they'd ever imagined. At that moment, both of them needed to hear it, needed to savour it, needed to realise that they both felt the same way, even though it had been stated before.

    "I love you too."

Toni felt a kiss on his cheek and smiled. His eyes opened to meet Will's and saw that despite his tears, his lips were curved into a shy smile. His amber hair was tousled, his eyes and nose still a little red. Toni can't have helped but smile back. Their lips made contact.

When they broke away, they were smiling more. They hadn't been able to kiss for a while because they hadn't been able to see each other outside of school for a while. Because, being in junior year, they need to take school seriously. They were good students and didn't want to skip class. Besides, they were in a lot of classes together. It would be--they determined--quite suspicious. Toni feels Will's hand brush his cheek and rest there, pulling his face towards his. They kissed again, devouring the moment. Toni felt Will move closer to him, and made the effort himself. This was probably the closest that they would be for a long time to come.

As they kissed, they sat up slowly. Will propping himself up on one hand, and Toni on his elbows, until they're too far apart, and they can't bear it any longer. They're sitting up completely, their hands entangled in each others hair when slowly, cautiously, Toni lifts up onto his knees over Will, and they both stand up off of the bed. The moon is bright from the window when Will feels his shoulder blades being pressed gently into the cool wall behind him. He smiles slightly, and his arms tighten around Toni's neck. They're out of breath, and they're smiling, their arms around each other, standing up in a position that neither of them thought that they were going to experience.

Their foreheads were touching, their smiles were big, and their hearts soaring, but then, out of the blue, when their heart rates decreased, they realised that it was past two in the morning, and they needed sleep. But they hugged. They stayed in each others embrace until their eyelids drooped and grew heavy, and they yawned uncontrollably. As they climbed back into bed, knew they would be asleep until late morning.

The pair of them lay in Toni's double bed that night, embracing one another under the thin sheets used for hot, humid New York days like this one. When they fell asleep, they broke apart, their muscles relaxing, but their hands did not part, their fingers did not unwind.

...

Carol woke before them. She had gone to sleep at a reasonable hour after reading her book, and she got up to make some breakfast. She made her tea first, however, and read her book until she thought she was hungry, then proceeded to make toast, eggs, and bring out butter, cheese, and jam to the table.

Little to their knowledge, Carol peeked in at the two sleeping hand in hand, faces close together. Toni's head had come to rest on Will's shoulder. She smiled. It wasn't as though she hadn't suspected.

...

Will awoke to the faint smell of toast and eggs and sat up. His hand wasn't properly disconnected from Toni's, and he ended up waking him up as well. Toni's eyes took a bit longer to adjust to the sunlight, and he blinked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"Morning, Toni," Will whispered and yawned.

"G'morning." Toni stretched and yawned as well. He rubbed his eyes once more, looked at Will sitting beside him and smiled. "You alright?"

Will nodded. "Yeah, thanks." He returned Toni's smile. "I think breakfast might be ready."

"That would be likely."

"Your mum is the best," his smile turned into a grin.

"Yeah, she's pretty great."

They threw on shirts, and held hands one last time in the tiny hall that fed into that led the living room kitchenette, then let go when they entered.

"Morning mum."

"Good morning. You two are early today."

They shrugged. "I guess so," Toni said. "We usually get up at noon, right?"

His mum's eyebrow raised. "Whenever you have a sleepover I swear I can hear you talk until three in the morning, and then get twelve hours of sleep."

The three of them laughed. "I guess not today. I think we got a solid eight though," Will commented.

Toni nodded. "That much is true."

His mum smiled. "How was your sleep, Will?"

"Great, just as always," his face was peaceful, not giving away any information about what had happened the night before. Well, nothing had really happened, but...

"Have a seat and help yourselves. I haven't eaten yet either, so save some eggs for me."

They piled food onto their plates: toast, eggs, jam, cheese, and Toni got up for a minute and studied the contents of his fridge.

"Do we have oranges mum?"

"Yes, squeeze them yourself."

"Of course."

In ten minutes, he had made each of them a glass of orange juice. They took it gratefully, and it tasted amazing, so it was gone in about no time. The same applied for the rest of the breakfast, although they made idle chatter while eating it.

...

"Thanks for letting me stay over, Carol. I really..." He trailed off.

"Yeah, anytime. Are you leaving so soon?"

"Not if you don't want me to." The corners of his mouth lifted up tentatively. Toni's hand was held by Will's under the table where his mum couldn't see. He let go to run his hand through his hair inconspicuously. Carol smiled. She knew, but she could tell that they were trying to keep it secret. So, she was going to do what she could for them to spend some valuable time together.

"Can you guys stay here—oh my god. What am I saying, you two are juniors now."

The three of them laughed again. "Yeah, Mum, we can stay here alone."

"I know. I had some errands to run. You could stay here for a few hours right?" She smiled and rubbed her eyes.

"Don't worry, we won't trash the house." Toni grinned and felt Will touch his hand momentarily under the table.

"You'll have some time on your hands," her smile turned mischievous, but they couldn't tell. They put their empty plates in the dishwasher.

"Alright, we can take care of the house, Carol, we've done it before." Will's smile was small.

"Yes, I know. That's why I trust you two. I'll be gone for three, maybe four hours. I'll be at the coffee shop two blocks down. I'm taking my phone with me, so you can call me if you need. I'm also going to do some shopping. Time to do the weekly shopping... Yeah, shopping...That's about it."

Toni's eyes smiled for him if his little grin wasn't enough. "Have fun. You're writing that book, right?"

"Yeah. That's right." She gathered her things from the closet in the living room part of the kitchenette. "Help yourselves to whatever food is left in the fridge. I'll be back in a few hours. Lock the door behind me."

"Got it. Bye, mum."

She gave the two a secretive smile and closed the door behind her. They locked it and grinned at each other. But Will's grin started to fade.

"Does she know?"

"That we're... If she does, she seems to be really determined to get us to be alone together or something, because she usually works on her book in the study. In fact, I noticed her computer wasn't there when we passed by the open door this morning."

Will sighed, but couldn't keep the smile from forming on his face.. "Uh, you have an eyelash," he touched a spot beneath Toni's eye, "right there."

Toni smiled, picked it up and blew it away onto the ground where it would be vacuumed someday. Will's smile didn't fade as Toni's arms wrapped around his waist. Will's laid gently around his neck. His clear blue eyes flitted to the ground and back up again through his eyelashes as Toni's fingers softly brushed his cheek.

Their lips met.

And met again.

Toni could feel Will smiling into their kiss, and mimicked the motion. His hand cupped Will's cheek, and they broke apart. He stared into Toni's deep brown eyes with longing blue ones and suddenly embraced him. His tears were coming back, however fewer at a time, and more painfully. Toni led him to the sofa where he sat him down, almost on his lap, his arms around him, and let Will rest on his shoulder.

"Do you wanna tell me what's wrong, Will?" Toni whispered. His hand held tighter on Will's. He hugged his knees to his chest and leant on Toni a little more. He nodded.

"My father," he whispered. "When I got home yesterday from—from school, he asked me i—if I was gay."

Will felt Toni's hand squeeze his momentarily.

"And I said I thought so." He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. "And-and he said... oh, Toni, it wouldn't hurt your feelings would it?"

"No." Toni shook his head and brought their clasped hands to his lips. "It's alright."

Will took a deep breath, little hiccups accenting it two or three times. "He said, a-and I'm quoting him, that if I didn't change myself from being a fag to a normal person, and he saw my arse in his fucking house again, he would--Toni, he said--he said that--that he would kill me."

Toni's lips met Will's instantly, pressing against them, feeling his mouth move with Will's. Their hands wove around their necks very quickly, and soon Toni found himself on top of Will's, their mouths moving together like clockwork.

"No one--" Toni's lips met Will's again, as he spoke in between kisses. "Has the--right--to call you--a--fag!"

Will's arms were still around Toni's neck when they paused, unravelling themselves from their position to sit up. They kissed again, sitting facing each other on the sofa. Their arms were still woven tightly around each other, holding each other close. They came to rest, Will's head on Toni's shoulder. He kind of played with Will's hair and let him cry silently into his shirt.

"It's okay," Toni mumbled. And he meant it. He was sure there was some way out. Some loophole.

Will turned his face up to Toni's so that their lips were just centimetres apart.

"My father threatened to kill me if I—I don't change something I can't," he whispered. "It isn't okay."

"You can stay here. We go to the same school, we work the same shift, even work at the same place. And my mum loves you. You can stay with us as long as you'd like, I'm sure." His words were hurried, his mouth moving quickly.

Will looked as though someone was offering him the life that he felt he had to deny. "Toni..."

Toni looked him dead in the eyes. "Will. He's your father, do you really think he would kill you?"

WIll hesitated and wiped his eyes, took a deep breath, and pulled his legs up onto the sofa so that he was sitting cross-legged. He ran a hand through his hair and smiled in spite of the new tears forming in his red eyes.

"Toni, do you know how my mother died?" His voice was quivering.

Toni shook his head slowly and wiped the fake smile off of his face along with the tears that were now snaking their way down his face. Toni could feel that this was a touchy subject. He took Will's hands. Will squeezed back tightly.

"My mother was a wonderful woman. She was sweet, kind, beautiful, intelligent. But she made one mistake, and that was marrying my father. He abused her, and she put up with it, he would hit her, and she put up with it, he would threaten her, and she would put up with it. Th-the day that he threatened to k-kill her, was the day she broke. She-she couldn't put up with it anymore. She told him so--she told him that she couldn't, and he laughed. He locked me in my room. I couldn't see it, but I could hear everything, so clearly so, that I could almost see it. I know he had her in a corner, knife to her throat, because of her pleas to him to put the knife away. I-I heard everything, Toni. I heard every last fucking thing." He sniffled and rubbed his nose. "I doubt he'd be hesitant to do it again."

Toni sat there. He had no idea what to say. He'd no idea what to do. He'd no idea how to make Will feel better. He loved Will. He loved him with all of his heart. It was hard to express that in their current situation.

"Will..." his voice a meagre whisper. One of an extraordinary amount of pure, untouched sympathy. "I didn't know..."

"You wouldn't because you're the first person I've told," his voice as a little bit undertoned with uncertainty. His hands were clasped together tightly. The only thing that Toni could do was take one of them. He was quite dumbfounded, but there were tears in his eyes that he pushed back. This meant if the two of them kept on being a thing, one of them would be depressed forever, because the other would be gone forever.

"So I'm sure that if I go back and tell him I'm still gay he'll freak out and kill me."

"Does this mean that you're—"

"No. Never." Will knew exactly what he meant. "I would never leave you because my homophobic dad told me to. Besides he doesn't know about us. Nobody knows about us." He whispered the last part.

Toni couldn't help but smile. Will pulled Toni closer. This time it was Toni who laid his head on Will's chest. And they stayed. They enjoyed the presence of each other.

"We should take showers." It was Toni who spoke. His voice vibrated against Will's chest, but Will's arms pulled him tighter.

"Don't go." It was cliche, but Toni responded in the exact way he felt.

"I never will." His kissed Will's arm and settled his head on his chest again. Will kissed his cheek.

"But you're right. We should probably take showers." Will smiled as he spoke.

"Okay. You know where the towels are and how to take a shower I hope."

Will rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I'll be bright back." They sat up and Will kissed him once more before going to the bathroom to take a shower.