I've gotten to the point where I have felt the need to cry when I see you. I have finally realized that it, my dream to meet you, will never happen and that I'm just completely horrible at falling in love. Love— that topic is for a different time not for now. The pool of loneliness in my chest grows when I see how beautiful you are; but it also expands when I think about the only probable mess of a problem I'm having. It's silly. Really fucking silly all of this. I might have said something similar the last time, but it really just fucking is. Sometimes I feel like these short entries are a waste of my time.

~J