Monica,

PLEASE come back, even just for a day. I'd literally trade my soul to have you here. You know how much I love my soul.

And I think you're forgetting, apart from you Jack was the only one to really speak to me. He's good to fall back on.

Love, Chloe

I sat cross-legged, my body comfortably wrapped in cotton pajamas and an old fluffy sweater with bobbles on its drawstrings. Even after showering, eating, washing my mouth a million times, and resting, I still felt completely awful. Like someone was bashing a truck into my skull, and my throat was a ragged trail of broken glass.

In front of me, spread out in a messy array on my duvet, was a bunch of lists. All the lists I'd hoarded over the past few months, ranging from menial tasks like getting ready for a party, what I'd eaten in a day, or my evening workouts, to fundamentals like the amount of times Sophie checked her phone at lunch on Wednesday and a list of people close with Jonas that I'd found on Facebook.

They were all being traded for two important new lists. The first, all the things I could do to take down level one. The second, all the things I could dig up on 'Mike', the photographer

Because, although patience was important, I was losing my head. It was clear that for this to work, I needed to minimize my time on level one.

After a sleepless night, and a lot of pondering, one problem became strikingly clear to me, one I hadn't anticipated in my summer of planning. And that was subjecting myself to a personal relationship with William Bishop.

I was good at planning. Well, I thought I was at least. I'd mapped out almost everything, from quizzing myself on the correct pronunciations of fashion brands and how to accessorize them, to how I could discretely come across as unassociated with Monica Pennington. But there was one big thing I hadn't planned for.

How could I have known, having no prior experience with boys, that putting myself in an intimate relationship with one, even a false one, would have an effect on me physically? As someone who always thought logically, I hadn't realized how strong the heart could be.

And no. I didn't love William. In fact, it could have been anyone. Just someone to take away all of my firsts and bring out the stupid, hormonal teenage girl within me, who I currently wanted to strangle with the sleeve of William Bishop's jacket, which was hung on the back of my desk chair.

I hated being out of control. And that's how I was starting to feel around him. As much as I wanted to blame it on the drugs, something about him last night brought forward all the feelings my stupid insides had been developing. Because I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was awful.

It was his stupid idea to bring this fake relationship to light, and now Francis had me bound to it. God knows what he'd do if I ended things.

And I couldn't even begin to think about how I felt about Will and Lola. It brought a painful feeling to my stomach, and not just the disgusted kind.

Pushing thoughts of William to the far end of my mind, which wasn't as effective as I'd hoped, I concentrated on my task at hand.

Things I may be able to use to directly take down level one.

Maddy's affair with Francis. That could be a good one, if I could find evidence. So far, apart from very subtle trails and the one overheard conversation in the toilets, I hadn't found anything solid. It was enough to go by thought. I just needed evidence. Something that made Francis look completely awful, and preferably something that could be spread fast. A photo, maybe. Something someone could still find from a google search in twenty years if they put in his name.

But what about Maddy? Why did the thought of getting her involved with that make me feel a pang of guilt?

She's the one sleeping with Francis, I reminded myself. And she helped corrupt Monica.

This was what everything was for, after all.

Lola's affair with William. I wrote it, then tapped my pen against the notepad for a few moments before crossing it out. Not only would this put William in bad light, but I also knew the repercussions for Lola from Francis could be... awful. But then, after everything Lola had done to Monica, I just couldn't let it go. I mean, anything I did to bring her down would get Francis pissed with her anyway. He was obsessed with his image after all.

And William. I closed my eyes, fighting an internal battle for a moment before opening them. Focus, Chloe. He was on my list too.

I wrote it again, with an asterisk. Do this last.

Zach and Max. I bit my lip, before writing next to it, indirectly. If possible.

Sophie's secret boyfriend. Maybe. If I could find out who he is. God, I needed to take Sophie down. Now it was a personal motive that struck me more than just Monica's revenge. Her comments last night rattled me, particularly after everything I'd changed about myself to be beautiful enough for level one. She was just evil.

New list: to-do-list. To do: find out who Sophie is sleeping with ASAP.

God, I'd gotten nowhere. I just wanted this to be done with, for all of level one to feel exactly how I felt when my best friend was taken from me. I looked at a grinning photo of Monica and gave her a small smile. She meant more to me than any of these fake friendships could.

My phone vibrating beside me made me jump, shaking me from the depressing thoughts of how much I missed my best friend. It was William.

I bit my lip, the skin coarse and chapped from my round of vomiting the night before. I wanted to ignore it, to just go without his interruption in my life for a few days. At least until Monday. But some drive inside of me brought me to swipe the answer button and bring the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, are you okay? I haven't heard from you and it's almost two in the afternoon," he said, his voice sounding on the edge of being annoyed.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just..." My eyes grazed over the mess of lists in front of me. "Doing homework."

"Seriously? You can do homework after last night?" he asked, a doubtful tone in his voice. "Anyway, just wanted to make sure you were alive."

"Barely," I said. Talking to him on the phone was easier. I wasn't bombarded with proximity or stupid emerald eyes.

"Well, I have a favor to ask," he said. "How do you feel about coming around to mine for the afternoon?"

I groaned. "I was hoping you wouldn't bring up that stupid security code again."

"It's not stupid, pretty important actually."

Can't you just send the files to me? I can try and crack it here."

"Hey, I still don't trust you, Whittaker."

And he shouldn't. I probably couldn't trust him, after all. I lifted my shoulder to support the phone to write on the list in front of me. Maybe Bishop's dodgy company.

"I guess I could help," I said after I'd put a series of dots after the text. "I could drive to yours in an hour?"

"That'd be great. I can order us take out to say thank you."

"I don't want take out, William," I said quickly, Sophie's comment about fat thighs replaying through my brain. "I'll come home for dinner."

"Alright, whatever you say."

I sighed, bundling up the useless lists and putting them into the paper bin in the corner of my room. It felt good to de-clutter, though I'd rewrite most of them again anyway. I put the important ones in my top drawer.

When it came to picking an outfit and doing my make-up, I decided it wasn't worth the effort. William apparently saw right through my costume anyway, and it shouldn't matter to me what he thought of me. Especially if my brain was constantly comparing myself to Lola.

So, I went with active-wear and a ponytail, and only one coat of mascara.

I brought some of my homework with me, because even if I was using my time to write lists, I did actually have a whole load of assignments to finish by the end of the week. There might be time to do some while we wait for my code to run.

Anything to avoid lingering silences.

"I'm going out, Mom, I won't be home for dinner!" I called as I headed to the garage. My mother stuck her head out of the study, a phone pressed against her chest as she gave me a very mom-like thumbs up.

I parked on the street, cut the engine and then took a deep breath. I was only there to crack these passwords. Not to discuss Francis' threat, or William's attachment to Lola. Just to get him in.

Then I remembered the last time I was here and the argument that had broken out. I could already tell this could end up very bad.

I grabbed my bag and the folded jacket sitting on the passenger's seat. I wondered if Lola had ever taken the same jacket. Idiot, Chloe. You're an idiot.

Would he defend her when it comes time to take her down? What would happen afterwards, would he hate me? Would I have anyone left?

Monica. You'll have Monica.

I took a deep breath and walked up to the enormous front door, knocking twice. He must have been waiting, because he opened it immediately.

"Hey. Thanks," he said, taking the jacket I pressed into his arms. "You look... good. Considering last night, I mean."

"Thanks," I said, looking anywhere but his eyes. "I brought homework too."

"You always know how to have a good time," he said sarcastically. "Want a drink?"

"Water would be great."

William led me towards his immaculate kitchen, and I wondered if he'd ever washed a dish in his life. Although Myra helped, we still did the basic chores in our house. With William's wealth, which must have been at least triple that of my Dad's, I imagined he'd never have to lift a finger.

There was faint classical music playing eerily down the hall. "Is anyone home?"

"My Dad's in his study, he's preparing for an important Skype seminar in the next hour or so," Will said. "It's good you brought homework, actually. That's our cover story."

"Cover story?" I asked, taking the glass of water he offered to me.

"Can't have him knowing that I'm snooping through his secured files."

I nodded, and with that he led me upstairs to his bedroom.

It was the same as it had been last time I'd seen it, only today, the covers were wrinkled and askew, and the blinds were drawn over the window.

The computer screen lit up most of the room, the monitor showing a huge bundle of files, the ones most curious to us highlighted and being transferred to a removable storage device. I put my bag on his bed and sat down on the wheelie chair by his desk.

"I really appreciate you still doing this," he said, and I sensed him sit down on the corner of the bed in my peripheral vision.

"Well, I can't let you live in ignorance of the dirty happenings of your family business, can I?" I mused, opening my laptop beside his desktop and removing the USB with the files.

"Hey, it's not necessarily dirty. Just some of it," he said.

"I guess we're going to find out." I began running my password-busting program through his files, setting it up to scan the one of interest from last time first.

After a moment, William spoke. I'd been too absorbed in my task to notice him rise to lean over my shoulder. "Would you still do it?"

"Do what?" I asked.

"Use this against me?"

I thought about that. If I said no, I had nothing against him, and he'd have the ability to break my trust. And I just couldn't afford that. Even though I knew there was no way I could actually go through with it. If I were honest with myself, I probably never could have to begin with. "Yes. If I really needed to I would."

"I guess that's fair enough."

Silence stretched on as I watched numbers flash over the screen, and then he cleared his throat.

What happened with Francis last night?"

Of course he'd ask me again. I scanned my brain, trying to come up with something reasonable. "It was gross. He just suggested that because our partners were hooking up we should hook up too. Disgusting."

William didn't say anything, and I couldn't tell if he believed me.

I'm just here to break him into this file, I reassured myself. Not to get involved with drama or feelings.

But both of those things were shattered in a number of seconds, when William's phone – which I hadn't noticed was sitting next to my arm on the desk – started ringing. The caller ID that flashed on the screen told me everything I needed to know.

Dela.

Dedicated to @inkblack for being totally amazing and always leaving fabulous comments and sweet posts on my message board 💕

Question: do you guys ship or not ship Chloe and Will? Why? I'm getting a lot of mixed feelings and I'm curious. Thanks so much for reading!