Mon,

If you really want drama, I can let you in on some secrets. Of course, you can't tell anyone. The best gossip is the kind that's kept hidden, right?

Lola Davenport and William Bishop.

I know, I can't believe it either. Out of all of level one, I wouldn't have pegged those two to have been together. But it's true, he told me. Something happened, and now it isn't a thing anymore. At least that's as much as I know.

Can you believe it?

Love Chloe

"Chloe, Chloe wake up, your father's almost home. We're having dinner."

I stirred, not able to recall the exact moment I'd slipped out of consciousness. When I'd sat down on my bed after changing into warm, dry clothes and spreading my homework around me, it had been bright out. Now it was dark, my window open to the inky night.

"What time is it?" I asked my mom groggily.

"Almost eight. He just touched down, he's about ten minutes away," she said. I heard her retreat out of my room again.

I groaned, why did we have to drop everything for him when he couldn't even live up to commitments he arranged himself?

Maybe it was because I had just woken from a nap, or perhaps it was my lingering annoyance with William, but I was in a grouchy mood when I went downstairs. Actually, maybe it was just my dad in general.

"Hi, sweetie!" he said enthusiastically as he saw me, juggling his overnight bag so that he could scoop me into a fatherly hug.

"Hi, Dad," I said, with not even half as much enthusiasm. I took his luggage though, not wanting to start the night off on a bad foot.

"How are you going? How's school?"

"Great," I said. "I have a calculus test next week."

"Already? Senior year moves fast," he said.

My mom hung awkwardly beside us, and I knew she'd probably want to greet him privately. She'd picked up take away, which was sitting in the oven to stay hot. My stomach grumbled.

            "I'll go set the table," I offered.

My parents were young when they married, both in their early twenties, my mom two years my dad's senior. He had a fortune and she had a failing business, so it was a marriage of convenience. Well that's what I thought anyway, I couldn't ever picture a time when he loved her.

But her? She loved him. She wouldn't be so emotional if she didn't.

I guess I'd gotten lucky with my share of the genetics between them. I had my mother's soft features with my father's broad jaw and problem solving mind. But I also had their weaknesses, which bugged me more than anything.

I heard quiet murmuring in the other room, before they returned to join me at the dining table moments later.

"So what have I missed?" Dad asked.

Oh, you know, just waiting for you at a restaurant and then hearing that you'd be away for the rest of the week. And then mom crying in the hallway this morning was definitely a highlight.

"Not much," I said, curling a forkful of noodles before shoving them to the side of my plate. There was no way someone like Lola Davenport would eat this junk. Actually maybe that was why Will liked her. She was beautiful. Maybe he was vain.

"Bernie and Angus next door just bought a cat. Screechy little thing it is, I saw it in our hydrangea bushes earlier chasing a butterfly. At least it will keep rodents away, I guess," Mom said.

Nobody said anything in response, Dad and I focusing on our food.

"And I saw the Andrew's house go up for sale. You know, the ones down the street?"

"Oh, really?" Dad grunted.

"Yes, I'm still convinced they got a divorce, but neither of them have said anything official."

"It's like our own neighborhood should be in a gossip magazine," Dad mused rudely. It wasn't the words he'd said, but the condescending way he delivered them that made it feel like he'd just verbally slapped her.

"I'm just keeping you updated," Mom muttered. The table fell silent after that.

"You know, I'm not feeling great, I think I'm coming down with something," I said, pushing my plate away. "It must have been the weather today. I'll go lie down."

Mom gave me a worried look. "Okay, honey. Go get some rest, I'll come check on you a little later."

It didn't take long to fall asleep again. I didn't even remember my mom coming in to kiss my forehead and turn off my lamp.

***

Claire's presence was becoming routine now. Between her and Jack, I seemed to always have someone wanting to sit with me, or walk with me between classes. It was a little daunting, mostly because I'd become so comfortable with silence. Sometimes the chatter drowned out my own thoughts, and I found myself unable to properly comprehend my surroundings.

"Sitting with them again?" Jack asked as we reached the entrance of the cafeteria at lunch time on Friday.

I gave him a meek smile. "Yeah, I haven't seen Will all day."

If I was one to delve into real relationships, I decided I wouldn't be the type to ditch my friends for my boyfriend. But, in this case, I was learning that it was the only way to separate the two different lives I was balancing.

"Right," Jack said. His smile was friendly but his expression was transparent; he was disappointed.

"I'm sorry. I'll see you in chem, yeah?" I asked.

"Of course." He kind of stood there for a second, and I wondered if he was hoping I'd ask him to join me. But I couldn't. Even if I had the authority, I still wouldn't do it. He was too close for comfort when it came to my plan.

Things between Will and I had flowed as well as if we were performing them from a script. We were learning to keep a sensible distance in our friendship, tiptoeing around conversations that scraped past the surface. It was becoming increasingly appropriate for the role we were playing.

I was learning that Will had a defense mechanism when it came to his temper. He said words impulsively, ones he wouldn't usually say out aloud. I guess we all did. But in some way it helped me justify what he'd said, and prevented me from obsessing over it. I wasn't crazy. He just didn't understand.

His secret relationship was constantly nagging at the corners of my mind. I noticed subtle things now, things I'd never have registered before. Across the table, Lola and William never seemed to meet eyes, and they engaged in the absolute minimal conversation possible. Was that because of the events that had unfolded between them?

I wondered how they'd begun to begin with. Had they laughed together, grown increasingly close until the space was non-existent? Or was it more of a power play than that. Had they done it out of spite, or out of love?

It brought with it more puzzle pieces, and more gaping holes that needed to be filled. With what was becoming a publicly fractured relationship between Lola and Francis, I was left wondering just how many others knew about their affair. It could help me work out just how beneficial the information could be if I were to ever release it.

Even if Will was proving to be a helpful alliance, I couldn't let him be immune. Especially if to bring Lola down, I couldn't avoid taking him down too.

I was doing this for Monica. And after all, he was on that list for a reason.

I resided in what was gradually becoming my very own position at level one's table. It was beside William, but still next to the girls, which allowed me to listen in quietly on their conversation. I was a decorative fixture at the table, never properly invited into conversation, but still present enough to gain more and more information about the internal dynamics of the group.

"What are you wearing tomorrow night?" Maddy Danton asked Li beside her, not raising her eyes from her salad.

Li screwed up her face in thought for a moment. "Hmm, that two-piece I bought in Paris during the summer."

"Ugh, I need to go shopping," Maddy said dramatically. "Would you come?"

"Tonight?" Li asked. "I have a family dinner."

Maddy looked hopefully to Lola and Sophie on either side of her, causing her ebony ponytail to flick in either direction, awfully close to swatting each of them.

"I'm meeting someone tonight, sorry," Sophie answered, looking not one bit apologetic towards Maddy.

Maddy's puppy-dog eyes fixed on Lola.

She looked up from her phone in disinterest. I watched her face carefully, the judgment in her eyes evident as they flicked over Maddy. Her disdain was obvious, with her raised brows and poised upper-lip. "I'm busy. Why don't you ask Chloe?"

The girl's attention turned to me immediately, and my senses were suddenly heightened as my status switched from watching on the sidelines to being directly included.

Maddy's eyes were kind, almost innocent. I recalled the moment she'd seen me at the party last weekend and complimented my top. I also recalled the fact that she was sleeping with Francis, who was two seats down from her and engaged in what looked to be a heated conversation with Piers.

"Uh, I'm free," I said hesitantly. "I could help."

"Great!" Maddy said, her posture visibly slackened in relief. "How about we meet at the mall at four?"

"Sounds great."

"Hope you don't mind me stealing your girlfriend, Will," she added.

William stopped prodding the plate in front of him to peer up at her. He hesitated too long, and his tone was just a little off what would classify as casual. "As long as you look after her."

I rolled my eyes, hoping I was coming across as playful rather than annoyed. "Like I need to be looked after."

He gave me what looked to be a tired look before cracking a shallow smile for the benefit of our audience. "Of course you don't."

Our feigned relationship was starting to take its toll on the way we interacted; it was starting to feel like we just weren't fitting right. Maybe it was the secrets, or maybe it was the weight of what we were really doing. I couldn't get attached, after all. I was here for a reason. Maybe it was better if we remained distant.

After my last period, I returned to my locker to grab my bag. William was already waiting there, his backpack slung over his broad shoulders.

"Hey," he said. His weary features had relaxed somewhat since lunch time.

"Hi," I greeted. I gave him a smile, mostly out of courtesy.

"Hey, Chlo?" he asked. I froze, his shortening of my name catching me off guard. It brought Monica to the forefront of my mind again, the memories of her nickname for me as fresh as ever. When I didn't respond, he went on. "I was just wondering if you wanted to help me get into that document again."

"Oh." I had completely forgotten about the code. "Sure."

William sighed, and he dropped his bag to his feet so he could lean against the locker beside mine. "I'm sick of this weird formality between us. It's not making this easy."

I narrowed my shoulders, unsure of what that meant. When I didn't reply straight away, he continued.

"You know I've been thinking of what I said the other day."

"You have?" I asked, doubting he'd put much thought into what was a chaotic conversation.

"Yeah, and I don't think what you're doing is completely irrational," he said. "What I said was out of line – because I know you're only doing what you think is best. She was your friend after all."

I shut my locker, a little relief seeping through me. "I'm glad you came to that conclusion."

"I just figured it's been bothering you, you've been quiet lately."

I was quiet because I didn't exactly have anyone else to talk to besides him, unless you counted the buzzing group of level two's who had quickly made my acquaintance. He was the only one who knew my deepest secret, the only one here to confide in.

"Are you going to be okay spending time with Maddy?" he asked.

I frowned. "Yeah. I mean, should I be worried?"

He laughed, his teeth flashing in a way which oozed charisma. I couldn't help but study his features, in awe of how he could look so charming, even when the topic of conversation felt so casual. "I doubt it. Maddy's pretty innocent compared to the other girls."

"What do you mean?" I asked. Did this mean he was unaware of her affair with Francis? I wondered how that fit in level one's complicated love triangle.

"Her intentions aren't terrible, she can just be impulsive," he explained, pausing to give me a thoughtful look. "She just doesn't think very far ahead."

"Okay," I said, processing his opinion. "Thanks."

"Anyway, you better get to the mall," he said, casting a look to the students around him. "Did you know there's a rumor going around that we're extremely religious, and not even touching each other until marriage?"

I snorted, completely aware of why this would bother him. "Are you worried you'll look bad to your buddies?"

"No," he said. "More worried that people will find out we're hiding something."

Right. And that would be bad for both of us.

"What are you suggesting?" I asked.

He took a step forward, the distance between us halving, and halving again as he took another. My heart stuttered, partly because I had no idea what he was doing, and partly because I wasn't familiar with the proximity – especially not in front of as many people as there were around us now.

"We just need to play our part a little better," he said. Now he was able to murmur within my range of hearing.

He was right, but I still wanted to protest, to give my knees a chance to reinforce themselves against the weakness that had overcome them. But, he closed the distance and embraced me in a hug, not a normal hug, but a much more intimate type. His hands fell around my waist, my hands resting against his shoulders in a desperate act to look normal.

The warmth of his body around me – his limbs wrapped securely around my waist – had me fumbling for coherent thoughts. It had my mind giddy, and I was sure it was because of the lack of human interaction I was usually accustomed to. And having his torso resting against mine, the space I kept around myself reduced to nothing, it was bewildering.

"Is this better?" I asked, as if filling the silence between us would help kill the hormones that were developing within me. I was sure that if I stared into his eyes any longer I'd go dizzy with the intimacy of it all. How could his eyes hold such a brilliant shade of green? Mine were a muddy brown, nowhere near as alluring. And his skin was a perfect beige, as if sculpted from clay by the hands of a fine artist, only marred by the faintest lines from smiling.

"Well it probably makes us look a little bit more like a normal couple," he said, and I noticed that he was studying my face too, bringing with it a wave of insecurity. "I hope you have fun shopping. I'll see you tomorrow night, I assume you'll be at the party."

I nodded, holding my breath as his head ducked closer, closing the already diminishing distance between us to carefully graze his lips against my cheek.

And then I was released, and he shot me one more annoyingly charming smile before picking up his bag and becoming lost in the crowd.