Pepper's reaction wasn't what Loki or Tony had expected. She was skeptical, slightly sarcastic, and disagreeable. In short, she was being Tony.
"What am I supposed to say to her, Tony? 'Gee, I'm glad you became Tony's sort of adopted mother. Too bad you missed the wedding?' Really?" Pepper folded her arms across her chest and not-quite glared at Tony.
Stark was clearly taken aback, and looked to Loki for help. Why did everyone always look to him to have the answers? It was frustrating. Loki frowned at the Starks, both of them.
"I think that would be a lovely thing to say, Pepper," he soothed. "Although I am certain my mother would have enjoyed the wedding, had she met you and Tony before you were married. It is a pity that she has missed out on so many moments in Tony's life."
Pepper still wasn't really bending. "So now she just flits in and volunteers to be his part time mother? What? Is it a way to keep an eye on you, since you and Tony are friends?"
Loki's mouth dropped open in surprise. "No Pepper. My mother honored a request from me, nothing more. Unlike my father, Mother is not nearly so...intrusive in my life."
Tony frowned. "C'mon Pepper. For me?" He tried to look adorable, and Pepper just melted.
"Fine," she huffed.
Loki smiled as the couple entered Frigga's suite of rooms. He did not follow. Googling Tony Stark gave a long laundry list of the man's many character defects, and did not really reflect the amazing qualities that made him a good man. He could only hope that his mother would have the opportunity to learn of those qualities, and to do that required interaction time. Pepper would come to accept it, he knew. She did not know the pain of being orphaned. Regardless of age, a person still looked to their parents to provide guidance, unconditional love, and a safe haven. Loki had known the pain of having no parents, if only briefly. He hoped this would help soothe the emptiness within Tony Stark's soul.
He turned away, somewhat reluctantly because he wished to see the expression on his mother's face when Stark called her 'Mom', as he knew the billionaire would. But there were other matters that were far more pressing. The need to find the portal that would bring the army of creatures through to Earth was weighing heavily on his mind.
He had been working with Barton and Romanoff. The archer and assassin had narrowed down search areas for him, based on the size of the last portal. The crazed fanatics needed a certain amount of space to build their portal, so cities could be ruled out. They also needed cover to hide what they were doing from satellites. Still, the sheer amount of area to be searched was daunting.
Loki had reasoned that magical cloaking might prevent him from finding the portal, but it was unlikely that the entire compound would be cloaked. When an area was identified as a possibility, Loki was given satellite feed pictures so that he could jump to that location. When there, he would sweep for magical signatures and stray thoughts that might betray that this was the group they searched for.
It was exhausting.
As he understood it, all of S.H.I.E.L.D's resources had been diverted to finding the base of these fanatics, which had also caused some contention in the organization. The shadowy 'council' that Fury had spoken about once or twice did not want to let go of their many projects. Apparently, Fury had wrested direction of S.H.I.E.L.D away from the council during Loki's attack on Earth, since the council had had a quite different solution that probably would have caused war with Asgard. Their extremity of action had allowed Fury to swoop in and assume full command. He allowed them to continue, as they were somewhat useful, but now they were causing trouble because their own plans had been thwarted.
The Black Widow had rather ominously mused that the council might need to be 'silenced' if they didn't stop causing trouble. Loki knew that Fury preferred to avoid that solution, but he would do it if necessary. The Avengers, with the exception of Bruce and Tony, would not be surprised at that action, but Banner and Stark had never been soldiers, and had never been in the position to be evil to destroy evil. If it came to that, neither man would be please.
Nor would the women.
Darcy knew that she worked for a government agency that could do unpleasant things. She had told him of her first meeting with Coulson, when S.H.I.E.L.D had confiscated all of Jane's equipment when Thor was banished. So Darcy knew that S.H.I.E.L.D could and would be heavy handed in pursuit of their goals. But that had been equipment. What would she do if S.H.I.E.L.D began tormenting, torturing, or killing people?
Loki didn't think she realized that the world could be an ugly, ugly place. He loved her for that. It made him very sad to think that she might have to learn a hard lesson in this.
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Frigga stayed for a fortnight. After a round of goodbyes, Loki jumped his mother to the Bifrost site. Coulson had protested at first, but both Frigga and Thor assured him that she was safer with Loki then with the entirety of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Loki tried to duck away from his mother's too-seeing eyes, but he had no chance. "You are pushing yourself too hard," she warned, nodding at the dark circles under his eyes. "You must rest."
Loki shrugged. "I will rest when the threat has passed. Much like Thor, I have placed Midgard under my protection. I will do everything I can to prevent these creatures from breaking through. But I must find the portal in order to do that."
Frigga smiled softly. "It is very good to see how you have grown, Loki. You would not have cared, before."
He nodded shortly. "I did not know what would be lost, before. I saw the mortals as little more than cattle to be herded to my whim." His mouth quirked up at the corner. "Then I was forced to spend time in their company. Their worth is incalculable."
She nodded. "Then keep them, and yourself, safe."
He hugged her fiercely tight, then stepped back as the Bifrost activated, swirling down to claim her. Loki watched until the sky cleared, and then jumped back to Avengers Headquarters.
Barton and Romanoff were waiting for him.
Neither one of them showed much emotion when they had their game faces on, but there was a level of excitement about them that Loki could sense from yards away. He straightened unconsciously, adopting his prince persona.
"You have something?"
Barton nodded. "We think so. It's a prime location, and the satellite feed seems to have blank spots. We could use visual confirmation."
Loki nodded. He was already weary, but with every new location, he had the hope that they had found what they were looking for. So he followed the two S.H.I.E.L.D agent Avengers to look over the satellite feed. As Barton had said, the location was prime, and there were spots that were just fuzzy dark grey, with no hint of what lay underneath them. It was the most promising lead they had had to date.
He called his armor, but elected to leave the helmet behind. It did not hurt to be prepared. "This looks very promising," he agreed. He pointed to a spot on the feed that was surrounded by trees, but was open. "I will go here and scout the area."
It was funny how they had discovered that his magic and Earth's technology could work together. While on Asgard, Loki could not jump to a location he had not visited, unless someone who he was very familiar with was already there. But when he had first partnered with Barton and Romanoff to try to find the portal location, the S.H.I.E.L.D agents had no idea how his magic worked, and had been quite impatient with his limitations. Romanoff in particular had tapped her heel impatiently and instructed him to 'just go there!". She had held out a printed satellite feed. Loki insisted on seeing the live feed instead, and made the jump attempt. To his surprise, it worked. Barton and Romanoff had been insanely excited, and Loki knew that they were both calculating how this could give the team a tactical advantage.
He took a deep breath. "I shall return shortly." Then he jumped.
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Self awareness took a long time. First there was an awakening, a return to consciousness. Then there was pain. Pain that skittered through every nerve ending. There was a sharp, throbbing ache in one spot. After some time, that spot was identified as a head. The back of the head to be specific. Why did his head hurt?
His head. He was a he. A male person. That was something more than he'd had a moment before. Pain was unusual. He knew that too. This level of pain was almost unheard of. What type of creature was he, that pain was so rare a visitor? He was a creature? Why did that thought spring into his head? His pounding head.
There were thoughts, just out of his reach. Things that he should remember. Something. There was something that he had been doing. It was important, he remembered. Important to a lot of people. People that were important to him. Why did that feel so foreign? That other people were important to him. Why couldn't he remember?
Bodily control was also lacking. He tried to open his eyes, but it wasn't happening. There wasn't even a twitch in his eyelids. Nor would the fingers or toes move. Some things still worked. He was breathing. Occasionally he swallowed as too much saliva built in his mouth. But nothing else seemed to be functioning.
Outside stimulus was missing as well. There were no sounds, no smells, nothing to stimulate his awareness. The lack of anything else felt familiar. He had experienced something similar before. A black emptiness that ate at the soul and swallowed sanity. Oblivion had been expected. Survival was unwelcome. Awareness even more so. He deserved to die. He remembered that much. There had been a terrible betrayal. But he couldn't remember if it had been from him, or from those he loved.
As time passed, he grew to believe that he had done something terrible. This was his punishment. He could not remember the details of his life – his name, what he looked like, the names of the people closest to him, their faces. Was that because he had done something terrible to them, and now he was denying his own self? That sentiment felt right. This was not survival. This was Hel. A place of eternal punishment for the wicked. But that did not seem right either. The wicked did not dwell in Hel. The wicked dwelt in Hell. What was the difference between the two? Did it matter? He clearly was a wicked soul.
He longed for oblivion, but perhaps that was too much to hope for. Wicked souls should not escape easily into oblivion. They should serve a penance for the terrible deeds they had done. He had escaped his penance previously. He had tried to convince himself that his wicked soul had been redeemed. He had convinced others of that same thing. But like a cancer, his wickedness had festered unseen while he waited.
He cursed his limited awareness. Memory was there, just beyond his grasp. Maybe if he tried harder to reach it... But would he want to have those memories? Would he want to remember the terrible things he had done?
How much time was passing? It could not be calculated or tracked. The pain in his head and skittering along his nerve endings was still there. Did that mean that hardly any time had passed? Or that whatever was causing the pain was not really related to his body? He healed quickly. He remembered that much. So the pain was not from wounds. From something else then? From some higher being that was exacting punishment for his wicked actions? Would this be the remainder of his existence? This identity-less limbo?
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Dealing with a bored billionaire was exasperating. Darcy thought she should get hazard pay for this. Or at least a get-out-of-jail-free card for when she tased him.
Apparently, Mr. Stark had been severely irritating Mrs. Stark while she was trying to prepare for a big board meeting. Therefore, Mrs. Stark had kicked Mr. Stark out of her presence and told him to go bother the Avengers. Since everyone else was scattered around, doing what they did, Tony had focused in on her.
Darcy brandished her stapler, taking a cue from Coulson's book of threats. "I swear I'll do it, Tony. You're being five times more irritating than normal! Why don't you go invent something?"
He was jittery. "To invent something, you have to be inspired. Right now, I'm not inspired. Nothing is jumping out and saying 'create me'." He flashed a grin and made a grab for the stapler. "You wouldn't dare. You like me too much."
Darcy huffed. "Why, I'll never know. Stop pestering me, Tony. Unlike you, I do have work I need to do."
He sighed. "I'm bored. I need someone to entertain me."
Darcy waved her hand in a dismissive fashion. "Go find Bruce. Poke him with something sharp. Then you won't be bored anymore."
"Ha!" the billionaire snorted. "Bruce kicked me out of his lab before I went to bother Pepper." He sat on her desk and grabbed a pen, twirling it absently between his fingers.
"So why are you now bothering me, Tony?"
He grinned. "Cuz you're fun to bother. Thor's busy with his Shakespeare-in-the-park boy band, and Loki is playing satellite Where's Waldo with the Psycho Twins. If I try to bug Coulson or Nicky, they'll do me bodily harm. Steve...well...Steve just looks at me with this disappointed expression most of the time. You're the safest option."
Darcy sighed. "Oh lucky me. Missing your new mom already?"
She was surprised when Tony ducked his head. "Well, yeah. She's pretty cool, right? She could have totally told Loki that she would never, ever pseudo-adopt a mortal, right? But she didn't. And she took the time to get to know me a little better. Without killing me, which is something."
"Good for you, Tony. Why don't you make her something, to thank her?"
He tapped his chin thoughtfully, and Darcy could practically see the wheels spinning. "That's...that's not a bad idea, Darcy. But what should I build?"
She blew a raspberry at him. "You're the genius."
Darcy almost had to laugh. It was like redirecting a child's energy. She had watched Pepper do it often enough to know how to harness Tony's energy. Allowing his brain to remain free and unfettered was a sure recipe for disaster, so Pepper always had something she could get him to think about. It was sheer genius.
His brain was already racing, she could see, and Darcy heaved a sigh of relief. The bored Tony crisis was over.
It was over in a big way as the assemble alarm went off. Tony grinned with glee at the idea of getting some action, and waved a jaunty farewell to Darcy as he quick walked toward his designated suit room.
Darcy quickly stood and walked toward Sitwell's desk. He usually briefed her so she had an idea what was going on. It made the after briefing easier.
Sitwell took one look at her as she approached, and fled. He ran away. What the hell? "What the hell, Sitwell?" she called after him. Then she laughed at herself, because she made a rhyme.
When Natasha and Barton came striding around the corner with their game faces on, Darcy looked for Loki. And didn't see him. Rogers and Banner were behind the assassins, and they both looked very serious. Something was very wrong. Where was Loki? He usually jumped in on missions when he was around.
Tony appeared moments later, suited up and ready to go. "Where we going? What's going on?"
"We don't exactly know where we're going," Barton explained, with a glance at Darcy.
Tony flipped his faceplate up. "How do we not know where we're going? Where are the princes? They don't get to sit this one out."
Heavy pounding footsteps heralded the arrival of Thor, with Sif and the Warriors Three. "Where is my brother?" Thor boomed. "What evil do we face today?"
Now Rogers and Banner were looking at each other, then at Darcy, and then at Thor. And she knew. She knew.
"Where's Loki?" she asked in a voice that broke suddenly. "He was with you two." She pointed a finger at Natasha and Barton accusingly. "Where is he?"
Natasha hung her head for a moment and then straightened. "Like Clint said, we don't exactly know. Loki was jumping to a very promising location. There were blank spots on the satellite feed. Someone was trying to hide something. So he jumped, and then we lost the satellite feed. Something happened. It wiped our data of the exact coordinates. And Loki hasn't returned."
"How long" Thor asked grimly.
"Two hours," Barton answered, just as grimly. "Loki thought it was funny, us making him have a time limit, because what could hurt him? Apparently, something could at least put him out of commission and prevent him from returning."
Dimly, Darcy pitied whoever had been unwise enough to try to restrain Loki. The Asgardians had this look of unholy joy at the thought of unleashing a little kickass. She'd like to do this same, but first she thought she might puke and then cry.
Tony moved to catch her as she swayed, and he simply lifted her from her feet and carried her to a chair. "Easy kiddo. My adopted brother is tough. Once he gets free or wakes up or whatever, he's gonna kick major ass." He bent down to stare hard at her.
"What if he's dead?" she asked dully. "He's the reason the last attempt failed. Whoever's behind this may have taken that personally."
"Loki is too stubborn and disagreeable to die," Thor argued. Then his battle face softened. "And I believe he would move mountains to return to you."
Sif stretched up to whisper in his ear, and the God of Thunder nodded. Looking a little sheepish, he pulled out a cell phone and spent painfully long moments typing out a text.
Everyone was watching, and then Tony straightened and smacked himself in the head. "Jarvis! Can you locate Loki's cell phone?"
"I already took the liberty of doing so, sir. Loki's cell phone is still within the building."
"Dammit," Stark swore softly. He turned to Thor who had finally finished his text. "What about your 'eyes in the sky', Goldilocks? Heineken? Can he see Loki?"
Thor nodded thoughtfully. "That is a good thought, Tony Stark. Good enough that I will not dent your iron suit for calling me by that silly name. I will return!" He whirled and thundered back down the hall, nearly bowling over his companions.
Darcy was glad they could function. She knew that all of them had it within themselves to shut out everything else and focus only on the mission. Thor had to be worried, and Tony as well, but they were focused and functioning. She wished that she could do the same, but all she could think of was that something had overcome Loki. It wasn't an easy thought. Her man was a badass, and once free of that 'hiding in Thor's shadow' persona, many of the limits on his power disappeared.
One of the benefits of having a god boyfriend was that she didn't have to worry about him as much as a regular guy. Darcy was suddenly returned to those terrible two weeks when Loki had been banished to Jotunheim with no access to his magic. He was vulnerable. He could be hurt.
A comforting presence was suddenly at her side, and Darcy looked up into Jane's concerned eyes. Ah. That's who Thor had been texting. She owed Sif one for suggesting it. Darcy could really use the support. Jane might have thin, bony arms, but there was a lot of strength within those arms. She relaxed marginally.
"We'll find him," Jane assured. "And heads will roll."
Darcy swallowed hard. "I hope so."
Thor returned some time later. His expression told the tale – Heimdall was unable to locate Loki. His vision was being clouded.
"It is magic," Thor confirmed. "And it makes me very nervous that Loki was overcome."
"Well it kinda confirms we have the right location though," Barton offered. He grimaced. "If we can narrow the exact coordinates down a little."
Tony had ditched the suit when it became clear they didn't have a location yet. He was bent over a computer with Banner and Jane, working on ideas for tracking. Darcy was numb by this point. The part of her that wanted to freak out was locked away, along with most of her emotions.
She knew the Avengers would not rest until they found him. They were awesome like that. Even S.H.I.E.L.D...Coulson had not hesitated to pull all resources into finding the location Loki had jumped to. She understood that it wasn't entirely about Loki, but more that there was a serious threat strong enough to put Loki out of commission, and S.H.I.E.L.D had to be all over that.
Surprisingly, it was the least talkative of all those present who came to offer her reassurances. Darcy looked up at Hogun's approach. He never said much, but when he did, everyone listened. Loki valued his counsel, she knew, and that made her want to trust him. He didn't look at her, but stared thoughtfully at a spot just over her shoulder.
"Loki is very tough," he said finally. "He will endure, much as he did when banished to Jotunheim."
"Doesn't mean I can't, won't, worry," Darcy retorted softly.
"Of course not," the quiet warrior agreed.
They didn't expect it to take three days.
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Impotent rage. Black despair. Awareness without being aware. It was a punishment. Self imposed, or not? He could not remember. Had he chosen this? He wanted to feel again. To unmake and remake. Destroy and create. If only he could break free of this terrible nothingness.
♾️ ♾️ ♾️
Can I say that we're almost towards the end? This journey has been incredible and oh hell, I'm going to miss Darcy and Loki.
And I'm so thankful to each and everyone of you. I really am. You guys have me so much support on my first book and I couldn't have been for grateful. We're so close to 2k and I can't control my happiness!
I love you a lot!
Love,
InfinityHaze ♾️
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