"You need a place to live?"

Loki suppressed a grin at Stark's tone. "It is customary to have a permanent dwelling, yes? I prefer to end my vagabond days. While the variety has been very entertaining, I find myself entering a new phase of my life."

Stark stared at him in horror. "You're serious? You want a place to live?" He shook his head. "Oh. Kay. No. Not okay. How the hell do you go from trying to take over the world a couple of months ago to...apartment hunting?"

Loki shrugged. "I do what I want."

Stark stared at him for another minute, then crossed his office for a drink. "Scotch?"

"Thank you." Loki accepted the drink, and tossed it back, enjoying the burn. "Are you able to help me?"

"I'm sure Pepper can find something and make arrangements." Stark tossed back his own drink. "Shit. Bubble baths and househunting. Who are you, and what have you done with the God of Mischief?"

"Do you prefer wardrobe alterations?" Loki couldn't suppress his smirk at that thought.

"Ah..no." Stark poured them both another drink. "So...I'll get Pepper to hook you up with a place. You gonna be mooching off me forever?" He grinned.

"Mooching? I am not familiar with the term."

"Yeah....it's not really applicable in this situation, since you did save my life and all. But I like thinking that a god is mooching off of me." Stark tossed back his second Scotch. "So your first real date was a success?"

Loki smiled. "Very much so. Darcy had never eaten at such a fine establishment before, so she was very appreciative."

The billionaire frowned. "Wait. How did you pay for your meal? Darcy doesn't have that kind of money. Did you pay for the meal?"

"I did. Continuing to use my abilities for petty theft of food and housing is beneath me. I will need to make long term plans, of course, but in the short term, I visited with Pepper and she supplied me with what she called 'petty cash'. I am not certain how the term applies, but it was more than sufficient to cover the cost of dinner and the hotel room." Loki grinned. "Pepper is very grateful that I saved your life. One wonders why she puts up with you."

Stark rolled his eyes. "Cuz I'm awesome. Seriously, you didn't know that? Would you have a less than awesome person as your minion?"

"Good point. Only the best for me." Loki smirked . "That's why I have Darcy."

Stark shuddered. "Keep her. She makes me very nervous. Storming Asgard, calling your father a rat-bastard, declaring war...you'll have your hands full with her."

She had called Odin a rat-bastard? Loki threw his head back and laughed. "I was not aware she had called my father such a name. What a woman!"

Stark shook his head. "You know...she was sorta quiet and wallflower-ish before you started hanging out. Nobody really noticed her much. Now she's got everyone a little on edge."

"Good. I am happy that no one noticed her. My good fortune." He remembered something then. "I seem to have left my cell phone on Jotunheim. Would it be possible to obtain a replacement?"

The playboy slapped a hand to his forehead. "How the hell did you leave the cell phone on Jotunheim? No wait! You were almost naked. No clothes....got it. Yeah, I'll have Pepper get you a replacement."

Loki tilted his head. "One wonders if you do anything, minion. Does Pepper do everything for you?"

"Only the stuff I can't be bothered with." Stark smirked. "Finding apartments and buying cell phones are not on my priority list." He pulled his cell phone out of a pocket. "Hey Pepper. Loki needs a new cell phone. He lost his when he was banished. And he needs an apartment. At least a year lease. Furnished tastefully. I'll ask." He lifted the phone away from his head. "Do you trust Pepper's judgment?"

Loki smiled. "She has impeccable taste. Well, except for this unwholesome love of you. Of course I trust her judgment."

The Iron Man grinned, and put the phone back to his head. "Yeah, Loki's cool with your judgment. Thanks Pepper. You're the best." He clicked the phone off. "She'll have something for you by the end of the day, most likely. She completely adores you now."

"I am adorable. Ask my mother."

"She seemed a little easier to be around then your father," Stark mused.

"Most definitely. With Mother, you did not have to worry about hidden agendas. It was a less complicated relationship than with our father. Everything our father does is done with a further purpose." He felt bitterness almost overwhelm him for a moment, and uttered a humorless laugh. "Even the taking of a Jotun baby left to die had its own purpose. Sadly for my father, he did not realize the deep hatred Jotun feel for misborn freaks. I could never be the link of peace between our two peoples that he envisioned."

Stark was staring at him thoughtfully, with what looked like a touch of pity, and that made Loki angry. He did not want pity. He held his hand out and brought the bottle of Scotch to it. Ignoring the billionaire's half-hearted protest, he raised the bottle to his lips and took a long drink. The burn was glorious.

"How did we get on this subject?" he asked finally.

"You. Being adorable. Mom's affection versus Daddy's manipulations. Shit man. It's no wonder you lost it for awhile and tried to destroy everything." Stark dared to pat him on the back. "It's okay to be upset about it, you know."

Was Tony Stark comforting him? It seemed completely unnatural for his character, but the man's face was oddly sincere. Mortals were so unfathomable sometimes. Still, Loki appreciated the effort.

"Thank you, minion."

Stark nodded. "I'm trying to be more sensitive to others. Pepper thinks I'm an unmitigated ass most of time."

Loki smiled. "Pepper has an amazing insight. It is a testament to your own feelings for her that you are trying to be a better man."

Stark ducked his head. Was he embarrassed? "Yeah well....Pepper makes me want to be a better man. So that she doesn't have to give me that look, you know?"

The God of Mischief had received plenty of those looks, from just about everyone he'd been close to in Asgard. "Indeed."

Tony's cell phone rang. Pepper already? But Stark's facial expression said not. He nodded curtly, and spoke a brief affirmative before disconnecting the call.

"Avengers business. Gotta run." Then he grinned. "You wanna tag along?"

Hmm...he really didn't have anything better to do, and he could pick Stark's brain for a second date idea. "Why not."

*************************************************************************************************************************************

He wasn't sure of his reception since he had not officially been invited, but Fury merely rolled with it.

"Loki. We could use your skills on this one, if you're here to help."

"I have nothing better to do at the moment," he admitted, taking a seat beside his brother.

"No mischief?" Fury raised his one eyebrow. "I find that hard to believe."

Loki shrugged, sharing a quick smile with Thor. "One cannot be mischievous all the time, Nicholas." He folded his hands in front of him. "We will discuss the cost for my services at a later time."

Fury blinked at him. "Yes we will." It appeared he hadn't even given consideration to that, since Loki had previously supplied any help free of charge. He turned to Coulson, and they seemed to communicate silently. Loki only smirked, watching Fury and his minion staring at each other. It was almost disturbing to watch. Could the two communicate telepathically? It almost appeared so.

Natasha leaned forward in her chair with a wicked expression. "Loki...you look good wet and bubbled. About the banana split thing..."

He felt a blush rising in his face. "Yes?"

"I really can't believe you would allow that photo to be posted for two desserts. What's the story?"

All eyes were on him, full of curiosity. Except for Stark. He looked nauseated. "Don't ask, Natasha. You truly don't want to know, trust me."

Her smile was wicked. "Now I'm really curious. What's got your briefs all in a twist, Tony?"

"Geez. Which part of 'you don't want to know' was so hard to understand?" Stark shuddered.

"Children," Fury said softly.

Natasha ignored him, staring at Stark. "C'mon Tony, give it up. You obviously know what it's all about."

Stark covered his face. "I don't want to think about this."

"Children..."

"C'mon Tony. Loki's not sharing. I want to know. I won't stop until-"

"There's no banana, okay?" Stark blurted.

Loki sighed. Both his brother and Steve Rogers looked completely lost. They would require an explanation. Banner and Barton were wide eyed and looked a little...jealous? As they should be. They obviously weren't experiencing the banana split. Fury and Coulson also looked somewhat jealous, but Natasha was grinning at him.

"Wow. Darcy so did not strike me as that kind of girl. I am impressed. Who's got that satisfied little smile now, Loki?" Her laugh was loud in the silence of the conference room. "I think it's you!"

"Children!" Fury snapped, drawing everyone's attention. "If we are done with this disturbing conversation...we do have business to attend to."

"I don't get it," Rogers voiced, with a frown. "A banana split without a banana? Then why call it a banana split? And what does it have to do with Loki being satisfied?"

Fury's sigh was huge.

"Oh Rogers seriously?" Stark slapped his forehead. "You have access to TV and the internet. You can't keep up the innocent routine forever! Watch some porn! There's no banana, okay? A certain...appendage...takes the place of the banana!"

Loki had to suppress a laugh. His brother finally got it, as Thor's eyes widened, and then he blushed. But Rogers was completely clueless. He needed someone like Darcy to ease him into the 21st century, but apparently he was still pining for an old girlfriend.

"I still don't get it," Rogers said.

"Little Captain America," the Iron Man explained a little desperately. "Little Captain America takes the place of the banana." He looked pointedly at Rogers' groin.

"Oh. Oh!" Rogers' face and neck turned scarlet, and he looked at Loki with wide eyes. "You...Darcy...oh!" He jumped up. "I've...I gotta leave for a little!"

Loki watched him flee the conference room and tried not to laugh. At the same time, he felt a certain kinship to the captain. He'd been in that same situation not too long ago. Rogers was probably feeling confused and overwhelmed with the strange things his body was telling him. He would speak to Darcy about it. Maybe she could suggest a young woman to help out poor Rogers.

Fury drummed his fingers on the conference room table. He did not look pleased. "Why is it that every time you're around this team, Loki, everyone seems to regress to horny teenager behavior?"

"I am simply too sexy to keep it to myself. It spills over into everyone else." Loki smirked and then laughed. "Nicholas – we are simply trying to make you laugh. I am certain that you have the ability. Being so serious all the time is not healthy for you. Your digestion will suffer and flatulence will increase."

"You said flatulence!" Stark laughed. "Nicky will fart!"

Poor Fury looked very weary. "They don't pay me enough for this. They really don't. I didn't sign up for babysitting services."

Rogers finally returned, still a little red. He avoided looking at Loki, and took his seat. "Let's get to business," he suggested shakily.

"Finally," Fury agreed.

***********************************************************************************************************************************

The mission went very well, and Loki returned with Stark to his penthouse. Pepper was waiting for them with a new cell phone and keys to an apartment.

"Loki," she greeted with a beaming smile. "Welcome back." She hugged him, making a kissing noise near his ear. Loki froze, but then patted her on the back awkwardly. He smiled as she drew back.

"Thank you, Pepper. I am very happy to have returned. I understand that you helped Tony and Darcy make their escape to the Bifrost site. Thank you for your help."

"Anything to help you, Loki. You saved Tony's life." She had such a bright smile. Stark really did not deserve her.

"I have your new cell phone, already programmed with everyone's numbers." She handed it to him. "Press here to see who you can call, and press their face to call them. Or, to answer your phone if someone is calling you, press this button."

He nodded and pocketed the cell phone. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I've found a very nice apartment, already furnished. I took the liberty of stocking it with necessities and groceries. It's paid for, for a year, including all utilities."

He was very grateful. "That is...very generous."

"You saved Tony. Besides, he's paying for it."

Stark was attempting to disappear when Loki turned to look at him. He seemed very uncomfortable.

"Thank you, Tony."

Stark rubbed a hand through his hair, face twisting. "Well...you know...you saved my life. I owe you for that." He shrugged. "Let's go get you settled in to your new place, huh?"

"Very well."

**************************************************************************************************************************************

Loki was pleased with the apartment Pepper had chosen. It was in a nice building and his view looked out over Central Park. It was bright and light and made him feel free at last. The carpet was thick and soft, and the furniture was very comfortable. Stark assured him of that very fact after bouncing on both the sofa and love seat, and finally the bed. The bed was very impressive, Loki noted absently. He couldn't wait to show this place to Darcy.

Pepper was extremely proud of the bathroom, although she did blush a little when she showed it to him. Loki was intrigued.

"Is this a Jacuzzi?"

"It is. I thought since you seemed to be enjoying your bubble bath the other day..." Pepper blushed even more.

How ironic that it appeared he would be doing a lot of bathing in the future. "Thank you, Pepper. I will enjoy it." It had a separate shower stall. Loki had never used a shower, but since Darcy had helped to exorcise his bathing demons, he thought that he might want to give the shower a try.

"We'll have a proper housewarming party later," Pepper told him. Loki wasn't sure he wanted to know what a 'housewarming' party was. The apartment was warm enough already. She looped her arm through Stark's. "Are you okay for us to go?"

Loki nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, thank you."

"We'll talk to you later," Pepper told him. She walked with Stark to the door, and they both waved as they left.

Loki turned in a circle, taking it all in. This was his place. It was a strange feeling. In Asgard, he had never felt like he had a place of his own. He had his own quarters, yes, but those quarters were steps away from his brother's quarters or his parents. This was...different.

He flopped down on the sofa, kicking his feet up, and settled in for some serious lounging. He deserved the downtime, and knowing that it was in a place of his own only added to the relaxation.

Later, he would call Thor and then Darcy. But not right now.

♾️ ♾️ ♾️

Hey y'all. So I think I'm gonna upload my Romanogers book today. ( or tomorrow cause I got fever.) whenever I do, give it a read. Thanks!!

Love,
InfinityHaze ♾️