The next morning was chilly. The crisp air wrapped around us just like the first time we climbed into the back of Breygan's truck. A part of me couldn't believe we were already leaving. It had been months at this point and California never felt like home, but this was the first place that Staton and I got to settle. Even if we never really settled. I'd thought about texting Aria and Julia to let them know what our plan was, but part of me was too scared to let them in on the secret. I hadn't heard from them since they had gotten home. I'd seen from a few of their Instagram stories that they were home safely. That made me feel a little bit better, but a huge part of me felt like Julia should still be here with us.

How would we have made this trip if Julia was still here with us, though? Would we have had to leave her here? Would Tony have been there for her? Was Tony still there for her? So many questions spiraled through my head. Maybe I would never get the answers to them, but I couldn't help but ask myself, just in case.

"Are you ready to go?" Staton asks, jumping in the driver's seat of the van. I nodded my head, taking a look at the suitcases that were sitting in the middle of the floor behind our seats. We weren't sure where to put them and figured we could move them to our chairs when we weren't driving.

"I couldn't be more ready," I mumbled, looking out at the beautiful sunrise. The sun was lighting up the mountains, casting a warm glow over the palm trees that lined the beach. I didn't want to leave this town for something that wasn't going to be nearly as pretty. I tried looking up images of South Carolina but without knowing exactly where we were going to end up I had no clue what to look for. All I could really come up with was the trees there were filled with long wispy strands of Spanish moss. I was excited to see that in person.

It was interesting with how rich our families were, that neither of us had ever traveled.

"I know I've asked this before, but what is the reasoning behind South Carolina? Why did you always want to go there so bad?" I couldn't remember Staton ever mentioning liking South Carolina, other than when we would talk about what our dream life would look like.

"My grandmother lived there and owned a horse farm. Before we moved to Washington, my family and I would go and visit her often. When she passed away, there seemed to be no reason for us to stay there anymore. We never lived there, but we lived in Virginia, which seemed to be close enough to travel there often. We would never miss a holiday. But as I said, once she passed away, there seemed to be no reason to stay on the east coast, and my dad found a better business in Seattle. They never even gave us kids a chance to have a say in the matter. I don't remember much from living over there, but I remember the love I felt from my family. I've always just been chasing that."

My heart sank at the thought of Staton not feeling good enough or loved by his family. Out of the two of us, he always seemed to have the better end of the deal, but that doesn't mean his situation was perfect. Obviously, if it was he wouldn't have been so quick to run away with me. He would have tried to convince me to stay, even if it meant moving in with him and his family, or us getting our own place.

Sometimes I couldn't help but think that it would have been easier to just do that. What if we would have gotten an apartment in town? What if we would have just stayed put and never dragged our friends down the coast? Would things have been better for us? Would they have been worse? I feel like my mother would have never allowed something like that, but who's to say she even cared? It's been months and I haven't even heard from her. Not a single call or text from the wicked witch of the west.

I reached over to grab Staton's hand. He started the engine and pulled out of the driveway. I watched the house shrink in the side mirror, whispering my own goodbye to the first place we were able to call home.

"And we are off!" Staton shouts, turning the radio up. Bopping his head to the rhythm as his foot pressed against the gas pedal, pulling us further away from everything we've known as a married couple.

"Holy shit, we are really doing this," I muttered, taking a deep breath to try and calm myself down. For some reason, this seemed harder than leaving our hometown. I couldn't pinpoint the exact reason, but something just felt off.

"Hey, are you doing okay?" Staton looked at me for a brief moment. He must have been able to sense my panic all the way from the drivers seat. I watched the road in front of us, hoping for something to focus on. "It's going to be okay Maple, we are in this together and no matter what I will always be here for you." His words were soft, making it easier to breath.

"Thank you." I muttered.

"Of course, and I hope you know I really mean it. I want to do everything I can to make you feel safe and comfortable, and if this is not the right move you tell me. I will turn this thing around and figured out how to get us a place in California." He really cared, I could tell. The stress in his voice was telling.

"No, this is exactly what I want. You can't blame me for being a little nervous at the thought of starting another long road trip. It's not like the first one went so well."

"Maple, I am so sorry you had to deal with any of that. I have nightmares about it from time to time. I just can't believe I put you in a situation that would have harmed you in any way. I also can't believe we have shitty enough friends to let Julia get drugged."

I shook my head. Staton didn't need to apologize for any of it. I didn't think it was his fault. If anything I knew it was mine.

"No, and I don't really want to talk about it anyways. I just want to have a better trip this time."

"Well, I will do what I can."

The road whirred past us for hours, as the landscape switched from a soft sandy beach-like texture with palm trees and large city structures, to the barren desert with weird-looking Joshua trees. We had hit Arizona within a few hours and a couple of gas stops. The van really gulped it down leaving me nervous about if our money was going to make it all the way through to South Carolina. I hadn't started looking for online jobs. Without a college degree, it felt helpless in job searching.

I had quite liked the grocery store job I was at once I got over the shocking trauma of being back in a store. I felt like I had finally made some adult friends, and was living a life that seemed boring and plain. That was all I could ever ask for. But here I was trekking across the country again with no clue what I was going to do for money. Maybe I would just get another grocery store job in South Carolina? Maybe I would find something online that would work better for me.

Whatever the answer was I would need to figure it out quickly, because at this rate we were going to be eating scraps.

"Are you doing alright over there?" I asked Staton, watching the lane in front of us. He passed another vehicle that was going frustratingly slow in the fast lane. I rolled my eyes, hoping that we wouldn't have too many delays. The plan was to make it to New Mexico by tonight. If we could do that and find a truck stop, we would be golden for our first nights rest in the van.

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself at the thought of Staton asking me if I wanted to spend the night in the van a few days ago. Before he had revealed how clean it was I had refused to step foot in here. How could I have trusted that I wasn't going to get some disease? But yet he still asked, and after telling him for twenty solid minutes that I would not be sleeping in the van until I absolutely had to, he finally gave up.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" He asked, popping some more corn nuts into his mouth.

"You've been eating those nonstop and we've been driving for quite a while now. This is longer than Breygan was ever willing to drive his vehicle, so I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright. Let me know if you need me to drive." I smiled, grabbing a drink of water.

"Oh, are you saying you want to drive?" Staton raises his eyebrows in a questioning tone.

"What? No, that's not what I said, I said let me know if you need me to drive. That's a big difference."

"Damn, I think it would be sexy to watch you drive this thing."

I slapped Staton on the arm, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. His words caused havoc in my stomach, forcing the butterflies to swirl around.

"Don't get your hopes up." I opened up the maps on my phone to see how much longer we had until the New Mexico border. "You've got about four hours left until we can stop for the night."

"I think I can do more than that. What time is it currently?" He took a drink of his own water, gulping down the liquid rather rapidly.

"It's a little past two in the afternoon," I mumbled, grabbing some jerky to snack on.

"We are making good time."

***

When we finally pulled into a rest stop, I was eager to stretch my legs and get out and use the bathroom. Staton and I had agreed that we wouldn't use the bathroom in the van until we absolutely had to. The longer we could keep that clean, the longer until we had to figure out how to clean it. That hadn't been an issue on our first leg of the trip, as we were stopping for gas enough to regularly take breaks. But I wasn't sure how that was going to work once we finally got to our destination. We needed to look at a map and see exactly where that was going to be.

"Are you ready for your first night in the van?" Staton raised his eyebrows once more, nudging me with his elbow.

"We are really going to have to cuddle to fit into that small space, aren't we?" I pointed towards the tiny bed, which seemed to be barely the size of a queen mattress. I wasn't ready for that considering the bed at the house we had been staying at had a full-size California king mattress. Words could not explain how amazing that bed was. This, in comparison, seemed like a jail cell.

"I'm not complaining about cuddling, I don' know why you would be?" Staton chuckled, kicking his jeans off before diving onto the bed. I had changed into my pajamas a little bit earlier and after brushing my teeth I joined him. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him so I wasn't pressed up against the wall.

"I think this was an amazing first day. We are totally van people." Staton muttered, before falling asleep.