Hideaway

Chapter 07

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Fall, 1862

The world was growing more chill each day, a crisp autumn apparent.

Monica secured her shawl closer to her chest as she walked alongside the young boy she nannied. Antoine was relentless, running down the dirt paths and laughing at the warm-colored world before him. While summertime was reserved for picking flowers and collecting grass, the fall was a time for admiring the changing leaves and collecting whatever he could find scattered across the ground. For him, the world was vast and wonderous, each season bringing something new.

Monica admired how naive he was, how Antoine could view the world in a childlike wonder. Compared to her harsh crash to reality, Antoine had no care in the world. She was slightly envious of the young boy, wishing she could return to a mindset where she was optimistic and bold.

And maybe then her poems wouldn't be so bleak.

The poet was so lost in her thoughts, that she hadn't noticed Antoine running ahead of her, approaching a large pile of leaves. He jumped into it, laughing without care and grabbing at the leaves, only to have them crumble in his grasp. He chuckled, finding quickly that when he picked up the stem, they would stay perfectly intact. Holding a large and warmly colored leaf, he ran back to Monica.

"Miss Elwein, look! A big leaf!" Antoine shouted as he made his way back to her side.

She blinked when he approached, finally noticing that he had wandered farther than she would have liked. How could she have been so distracted? "That's... that's very nice, Antoine."

Suddenly frowning, Antoine slowly lowered his hand, sensing something was off with his nanny. "Are you okay?" He asked curiously.

Monica pondered upon his question, knowing full well that things had not been okay for quite a while. While her feelings for the Laurence boy still lingered in her heart and mind, she knew even so that she could never have him, especially not with Jo in the picture. After all, Jo and Laurie belonged together, it was clear as day... even for her.

And come to think of it, Monica had not seen either of them in quite some time. She knew with Mr. March being ill, Jo was most likely spending all of her time with her family, ensuring her sisters and her were taken care of. As for Laurie, Monica had no clue what he was up to. Maybe he was still spending time with Jo like he always did. Maybe he was avoiding her now. She truly didn't know...

"Miss Elwein," Antoine spoke again. "Are you okay?"

Once again, Monica blinked, snapping back into reality. She sent the four-year-old a mustered-up smile. "I am okay. I am just lost in thought more than normal these days."

He tilted his head curiously. "Lost? But I see you!"

She chuckled at his words. "I see you too, Antoine. And remember, do not stray too far from my side."

The young boy nodded, confidently approaching her as he reached for her hand with his free one. With her heart melting at the adorable gesture, Monica took his hand, and the two continued their walk through the Autumn air.

And as Monica walked alongside Antoine, her mind eventually wandered back to her best friend and her crush. She hoped Jo and the March sisters were okay, and she hoped Laurie was there by Jo's side, even if she wished to be in her best friend's place.

But that was just selfish thinking on her part.

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After a long and somewhat pleasant walk with Antoine, Monica and he returned to the Cartier household. She dropped him off with his family, starting the walk back to her own home shortly after.

Despite it being late afternoon, it was luckily still bright out. With the weather changing, the days were getting shorter as well, and the last thing Monica wanted was to be in the dark by her lonesome. Needless to say, she was thankful she could return home at this hour.

Walking down the familiar path, she eventually made it between the March and the Laurence estates, a sign she was not far from home now. She had expected it to be quiet in the neighborhood, as it always was when she returned home. So when she saw two figures leaving the March household, Monica was surprised, to say the least.

She was quick to realize who the individuals were. She would recognize the younger one's dark curly hair anywhere. Monica blinked as she felt her feet begin to fail, her steps slowly ceasing as she watched Laurie and his grandfather leave the gray estate. If it wasn't for Mr. Laurence by his grandson's side, Monica would have assumed Laurie had just finished a visit to Jo. Right now, however, was most likely not the case.

Laurie looked up just in time to make eye contact with the dark-haired girl, and he could not help how his heart fluttered and his smile rose. Excusing himself from his grandfather's side, Laurie approached the girl, hands in his jacket's pockets as the smile never left his face. "Mon," he says joyfully. "How are you?"

Monica blinked once more, snapping herself out of the trance she always found herself in around him. "I-I am well. And you?"

He chuckled lightly, noticing the stutter she tended to have around him. "I am well..." There was a pause between the two, Laurie clearing his throat and trying to find anything to say to her. "Are you returning home?"

She simply nodded. "I am. I have just finished my day with Antoine."

Laurie suddenly frowned. Monica had never mentioned anyone named Antoine before. At least, not to him. "O-oh... how is he?"

"He is well. We spent the day outside. He was quite fascinated over how the leaves are changing colors."

"I... suppose that is fascinating at this time of year," Laurie stated, a bit confused.

"It most certainly is for someone who is four years old," she couldn't help but chuckle to herself.

Growing madly embarrassed, Laurie didn't realize that his cheeks had turned slightly pink at the realization that the boy Monica spoke to was indeed a toddler. "Oh! That must make you a nanny then."

She nodded, understanding that she had yet to speak of her job to him. "It does, I-I have been for quite a while."

He found his smile again. "I am sure you are great at it then." He hummed. "Perhaps having a job would be better than the constant studying my grandfather tries to have me do." He complained. He didn't mind doing so in front of Monica, however. He felt safe around her.

She smiled as a small laugh escaped her lips. "Studying is not so bad, Laurie." She said, "How else will we learn about the world and be able to grow with it?"

"What a poetic spin on one of the most daunting chores out there." He teased, "I should have expected you to say something along those lines."

It was her turn to blush. "Well, Jo may have said something similar, but in a much better way."

Laurie had noticed how much she brought Jo up around him. He did not know why, though. She didn't need to... compare herself to the strawberry blonde.

"Speaking of..." Monica continued her train of thought. "Why were you and your grandfather leaving the March's?"

"Oh! We just delivered a gift for Beth." He explained. "She had sewed my grandfather some nice slippers, and he wanted to give her a piano we had as a gift of thanks."

Her eyes widened. "A piano? What a thoughtful gift to give her." She knew how wonderfully talented Beth was, especially with music.

"I know," He agreed. "It truly is generous." Another pause grew between the two. "Well, I won't keep you from returning home. I'm sure you have a million poems to write."

She chuckled shyly now, still embarrassed that he knew her secret. "W-We will see how many I write."

He smiled once more, nodding at the girl. "It was very nice to see you, Mon." And with that, he walked past her, returning to his home across the way.

Monica turned and watched him walk away, a longing look in her eye. Eventually, she sighed, continuing her journey home as her thoughts enveloped her mind. Despite knowing how close Laurie and Jo had become, she felt drawn to wanting the same thing from the Laurence boy, wanting the same type of relationship from the boy who encased her thoughts.

But once again, that was just selfish thinking on her part. 

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The next day was just as sunny as the last, the sun shining through the warm-colored trees that created shadows through Monica's bedroom windowsill.

The poet had continued where she left off the night before, writing words on delicate paper as she formed sentences together, trying to make sense of the poetry in her mind. Everything she had written thus far confused her, finding both light-hearted and loving words mixed with darker ones. She couldn't quite place it.

Perhaps this was a testament to the jumble of thoughts she had, the mixed feelings she constantly felt for her best friend and her crush. She didn't want to admit it, but it became apparent that she was more off each day.

She was growing tired of it.

A knock came to the door, and hearing her mother answer it, footsteps suddenly stomped up the stairway and toward Monica's room. Her door flew open, just in time for Monica to have hidden her writing, and closed her drawer as she stood up. Her eyes widened when she came face-to-face with her best friend.

"Jo? What are you doing here?"

She looked distraught, as if the rug was pulled from underneath her. Her hair which was growing back quite nicely was a bit frazzled upon her head as she ran her hand through it. Her eyes looked tired, and Monica could tell a facade of some kind had faded.

"It's Beth... she has scarlet fever."

Monica's heart sank at Jo's words. First the March sisters' father and now Beth? The poet immediately felt sorrow for her best friend and her family. She studied Jo's features, her eyes glossy and her lips in a straight line. It looked as if she was about to break at any moment.

Lo and behold, she did. Before either of them knew it, Jo felt tears run down her cheeks as her stance suddenly broke. She quickly walked up to her best friend, who had met her halfway, and the two met in a well-needed embrace. Moments passed, and Monica continued to hold Jo, rubbing soothing circles on her back as the author allowed herself to cry.

"I-I keep putting on a brave face for Beth but... I am truly frightened." Jo admitted aloud.

Monica looked up, trying to stop her own tears from falling as she held Jo tighter. "I-I know..."

"I know I can take care of her, I know I can nurse her back to health, but..." Jo sighed. "I just want my family to be okay. I want us back together."

Pulling her best friend away and holding her shoulders, Monica looked Jo in her eyes. "They will be. Your father will be. Beth will be." She nodded to reassure her. "And more importantly, you will be."

Wiping her eyes, Jo smiled, knowing it was the right decision to confide in her best friend. "W-We will. I will..."

Monica pulled her back into a hug. "You are one of the strongest people I know, you know that, right?" She said with a soft smile.

Jo chuckled at her words, feeling an immense pressure off her shoulders. "More like the most stubborn."

Monica laughed. "That too."

The two spent a short period together, Jo needing to be out of her home momentarily to decompress from the situation. Monica understood completely and wished her and her family well before Jo ultimately went back home to take care of Beth. Once she was gone, Monica turned back to her desk, pulling her poetry out yet again as she stared at the jumble of words upon the page. Shaking her head, she pulled out a clean piece of paper and began to write once more.

To be here for you, and envy you

is a tangle of lies and shortcomings

that I fear you will find true.

For I cannot help but imagine

that I could be in your place

and see what else could happen.

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Author's Note

Uh, hey there... long time no see... 

Apologies for how much time has passed since I last updated. Truth be told, life truly got in the way and I did not have the time for writing. I recently switched jobs as well, which has been quite a whirlwind. I feel I am still in a position where I lack time, so I cannot promise a quick update after this one. I am just excited I am getting a new chapter out before the new year! 

Since my last update, I've gotten quite a few more views on this story. I just want to take a moment and thank you all for reading and continuing with this story. Monica is a character idea I've had for a long time, and I am so glad to finally write her story! 

Also, I have made some updates regarding this story. Initially, I planned two books. However, I decided to condense and make this the only book for this story. I felt it would be easier instead of jumping from book to book.

Anywho, thank you again for reading! If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to comment or message me here on Wattpad! 

Until next time! <3 

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