Hideaway

Chapter 05

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Spring, 1862

Winter had melted away into a beautiful, warm spring, bringing an abundance of beautiful blooming flowers and a new sense of livelihood in the wildlife.

Monica and her mother loved the springtime for those reasons, feeling as though the world was waking up once more. Trying to embrace as much of the season as possible, the two Elwein ladies could be found outside their house, picking the wildflowers growing in their yard. Wearing a sun hat to block the deadly sun rays, Monica kneeled to pick a group of wildflowers, immediately noticing the beautiful shade of pink that decorated their tiny petals. 

Despite being in her element, Monica felt rather distracted, moving the flowers away from her as she looked away and off into the distance. The event with Amy on the river felt so long ago, yet that day seemed to haunt Monica's poor mind. While Amy quickly recovered from the incident and the March family moved forward, Monica felt rather stuck, a particular memory from the day sticking out more than the others.

A particular memory, with a particular boy...

"Monica," Lydia called out to her only child, a collection of wildflowers lying delicately in her arms. "Are you alright?"

The dark-haired girl blinked, snapping herself out of her thoughts. "Y-Yes... I'm alright." She nodded, standing as she twirled the pink wildflowers between her fingers.

Lydia raised a brow. "Are you sure? You haven't moved for quite a while."

Blinking again, Monica simply sighed. "I suppose a lot is on my mind right now." That 'lot' being a certain neighbor of ours and how we almost kissed...

"Oh, sweetheart..." Lydia smiled softly. "You know you can talk to me about it, right?"

"I-I do..."

"Then... talk to me." the mother motioned for the two to sit on their front steps. "What is on your mind?"

Monica compliantly moved to the steps, taking a seat and resting the flowers on her lap. Lydia followed suit, looking at her daughter expectantly as she also placed her flowers down. She took a moment to try and find subtle words, not wanting to reveal too much. Eventually, Monica spoke. "Have you ever felt... conflicted by something?"

Lydia chuckled lightly, looking ahead. "I have, many times..."

"Well..." Do not give yourself away, Monica. "I feel conflicted, about people I know. And while I care for them, I also feel... jealous of them?" Monica couldn't help but question her words the moment they were spoken into existence.

All of a sudden, Lydia wore an all-knowing look on her face. "I think I know what this is about." She boldly stated, looking back at Monica.

Her eyes went wide, and she did everything she could at that moment to mentally prepare for her secret being out. "Y-You do?"

"Of course, sweetheart, it's okay to be jealous of Meg March leaving for a debutante ball!" The mother chuckled. "I know we only learned of her departure the other day, but I would not worry. There will be plenty of other balls and I'm sure one day you will be invited to one. You're very likable after all."

Not expecting that at all, Monica's eyes grew wider. While her mother was completely wrong, she realized this could be her scapegoat, and she wanted to act fast. "Y-Yes! I do hope so too one day..."

"I'm certain of it," Lydia said with a smile.

Looking off once more, Monica turned her head in time for a horse-drawn carriage to trot by. As it passed the house, a familiar face appeared through the window, and the eldest March sister waved happily. Smiling, Monica waved back, noticing from the corner of her eye that her mother was doing the same.

Lydia sighed happily. "See? One day that will be you, off to meet respectable gentlemen." She turned back to Monica. "And one day, you will meet someone who will love and care for you as much as your father and I did." Lydia felt herself grow a bit teary-eyed, the mention of her deceased husband always getting to her.

And Monica grew emotional too, missing her father at that moment. She looked back out to the now disappearing carriage and thought of him, wondering if he would be proud of her for who she was nowadays. Granted, all she does is keep secrets about herself, but maybe, just maybe, that could change one day.

And maybe a certain someone would be by her side when she did.

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The next few days came and went, and Monica went about her usual routine. She would go to work for the Cartiers, taking care of Antoine and doing the best she could as a nanny. Then she would return home to help her mother around the house before she went off to read and write.

On the days Jo went to her Aunt March's, the two would wait for one another to return home together. Typically, upon their return to their neighborhood, Jo would run off to the Laurence estate to spend time with Laurie, and Monica would simply watch as her best friend left her behind. However, this past week she hasn't done so once, opting to join the poet after their work hours to read and write alongside her. It was strange that Jo wasn't going off to spend time with Laurie, but Monica didn't question it. She got to spend time with her best friend again, and that was all she could ask for.

That and she wasn't quite ready to face the Laurence boy again...

Taking their usual path home, the duo walked through the streets of Concord, arm in arm as they usually were. Today was a particularly tough work day for Monica, and she expressed her stress to Jo. "Antoine refused to step outside today," Monica sighed, shaking her head slightly. "The other day, he had seen a bumblebee and swore it had chased him back inside."

Jo chuckled at that. "The things kids will believe... what did you do instead?"

Monica shrugged. "We stayed inside for the day. I took this as an opportunity to read to him, and he even took an interest in looking through the pages with me." The dark-haired girl smiled to herself. "I even started showing him how to pronounce the words on the page."

"Ah, so you've begun to teach him." Jo smiled. "Must be exciting."

"Oh no," Monica shook her head. "It made me more nervous than anything. I don't believe I'm supposed to teach him like that. I fear I overstepped on my duties."

"Nonsense," Jo reassured her. "It is never too early to begin teaching a child, especially if they're interested in doing so. You're doing the right thing."

That warmed the poet's heart, and she couldn't help her smile. "T-Thank you..." For a moment, the two walk in comfortable silence, Monica speaking up once more shortly after. "H-How do you feel about Meg going off to the debutante ball?"

Jo rolled her eyes. "I find it unnecessary. Meg didn't need to be invited to such an event, and I tried to convince her to turn down the invitation."

And there was the Jo that Monica knew and loved. "Is that so?"

"Yes, but of course she didn't listen. She insisted on going, this being a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity." The author sighed. "I simply do not understand."

Monica looked away momentarily, trying to find the right words to comfort her best friend. However, before she could, Jo spoke up again.

"At least Teddy went to make sure she didn't fall in love."

The poet blinked, looking back at Jo with wide eyes. She hadn't heard Jo refer to Laurie as Teddy in a bit, but the mere mention of him startled her. "W-what?"

"I told Teddy to follow Meg to the ball, and make sure she doesn't fall in love." She said nonchalantly. "He's supposed to be returning from the event tonight, so I plan to ask him how it went then."

Monica was stunned silent, having difficulty comprehending what she had learned. For starters, Laurie's absence from town must have been why Jo had been spending more time with her, and that broke her heart in more ways than one. Not to mention how disheartened she was that Jo would even think of sabotaging her sister's event like that. But then again, this was Jo, and Jo was always protective when it came to friends and family. She just... didn't realize Laurie would get behind her scheme.

"Are you disappointed in me?" Jo asked.

This snapped Monica out of her trance. "Hmm?"

"Your silence speaks louder than words, Monica." Jo gave her a look. "I know you well enough to know you don't agree with what I had Teddy do."

Monica frowned, shaking her head. It wasn't just that, but she didn't want Jo to know. Probably not ever. She sighed. "Meg should be able to make decisions about love on her own."

"And that is something I would expect you to say." Jo chuckled, trying to make light of the situation. "It will be fine. So long as Meg doesn't come back married."

Monica had to chuckle at that. "That would be a quick turnaround."

Jo smiled. "Exactly. We can ask Teddy about it when he returns. Why don't we all meet tomorrow once we know he's back?"

Not expecting her to suggest that, Monica simply blinked. She was unsure what to do. Sure, it was nice that Jo invited her to join them, but she still had yet to face the Laurence boy after their evening in his house. The whole thing felt rather conflicting, yet there was one thing Monica was certain of. Jo, under any circumstances, could not find out about what happened between her and Laurie.

So the poet put on a mask, disguising her real feelings with a smile. "S-sure! It would be nice to see him again."

"I look forward to his return. It's been a rather odd few days without him here." Jo admitted.

"A-Agreed..." But in reality, a part of her was okay with it. It gave her time to fully think everything through and try to figure out how she wanted to move forward.

At least she got to spend a little time with her best friend to distract her before Laurie returned to sweep her off her feet yet again.

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Late in the evening, Monica cuddled up on a couch in her living room, close to the fireplace for its light as she invested herself in a novel. Tired of writing poems about the same old things and the same old people, she opted to read as a more suitable distraction. Then again, maybe she was simply tired, and trying to find an excuse to stay awake so she didn't accidentally dream of a certain someone.

Not that she has admitted to that before.

Growing more devoted to the book in her hands, Monica could feel her worries melt away as her mind went from reality to fantasy. Instead of worrying over herself and her daily strife, she could focus on someone else's story, rooting for them and their happiness as their world progressed page by page. It was a practical diversion from her life and something she could always count on at the end of the day.

In fact, she was so immersed in her own little world that she didn't hear the knock at the door, nor the happy chatter followed by the footsteps approaching the living room.

"Monica."

Her mother's voice made the poet jump in her seat, almost dropping the book. When she caught it, she regained her composure before turning around slowly, expecting only to see her mother. However, she would have never been ready to come face-to-face with the very boy she was trying to avoid thinking about.

What on earth was Laurie doing here?

"Monica," her mother repeated, oblivious to the turmoil in her daughter's mind. "Look who came to stop by!"

As Lydia gestured to the boy in question, he smiled awkwardly, fidgeting with his hands as he made eye contact with Monica for the first time in weeks. He probably shouldn't have come, especially this late in the evening, but he felt that he had to. He needed to see Monica again after spending the past day in such a romanticized setting without her. But from the looks of it, Monica wasn't happy to see him at all.

She blinked, closing the book and placing it on the couch as she slowly stood. "L-Laurie?" She questioned, raising a brow.

He continued to smile awkwardly, feeling as though he was intruding. "Hi Mon, it is good to see you."

Tension filled the air as the two stared at one another, avoiding each other's eyes if they could. Lydia looked between the two, suddenly questioning what was happening between them. Whatever the case may be, she knew it wouldn't be resolved with her standing there staring them down. "Well, I'll leave you two be for now. Let me know if you need anything." And with that, she was off.

With her mother gone, Monica had no choice but to focus solely on her visitor. As the seconds passed by, her worry only increased. She looked down at Laurie's shoes, seeing he was still dressed nicely from the ball he must have just returned from. Or at least, that's where she assumed he was just coming from. So why didn't he just go straight back home?

"It's so late in the evening." Monica nervously pointed out, looking back up at Laurie to see him refocusing on her as well.

"I-I know, and I do not mean to disturb your evening. But..." He frowned, pausing to take an unneeded breath. "I had to come."

"You had to come?" Monica questioned, making sure she followed him correctly.

He nodded quickly. "I did. I had to come and see you. I-" He suddenly paused again, trying to find the right words that wouldn't scare her. "A-after the week I just had, I felt I had to talk with you."

The poet hummed, looking away momentarily as she tried to understand his words. "The week you just had... Do you mean at the debutante ball?"

He sighed, nodding and wondering if she was purposely trying to diverge the conversation. "Yes."

"Did you see Meg there?"

He smiled softly. "I did, and I hate to say that she spent most of the occasion not happy to see me."

"Oh?" Monica frowned, remembering the scheme Jo had also told her about earlier. Perhaps she had caught him in the act. "I do hope you did not ruin her time."

His smile quickly turned into a frown. "Unfortunately, for most of it, I did." He sighed to himself. "I'm sure Jo told you what she asked me to do."

"She did today, and I didn't exactly like that she had such a thought." And that she had roped him into it.

"I didn't think you would." He chuckled sadly, looking back up at her. "But Jo has a way when it comes to her family. I only think she is trying to protect Meg."

That was something Monica could agree with, so she nodded. "I can see that." But even she knew Jo mostly wanted her family lifestyle never to change.

Not wanting to stand in silence again, Laurie spoke quickly, trying to refocus the conversation on why he was there in the first place. "But yes, after the ball, I had to come to talk with you. It's been weeks since I last saw you, Mon."

She bit her lower lip and she nodded yet again. "I-I know..."

"And during the entire event, I watched people our age flaunt themselves, putting on faces just to look presentable to one another." He couldn't help but think of Meg, how she very much did that, and how upset she grew when he confessed he didn't like seeing that. "A-All in hopes of finding suitable matches..."

Monica started to grow nervous. "W-Where are you going with this?"

He took a deep breath, deciding to cut to the chase and save them both from the endless stalling. "Mon, we almost kissed."

And there it was, the thing Monica desperately avoided, and the reason she couldn't handle her reality. She swallowed dryly, nodding as she finally acknowledged the event, knowing full well there was no way she could deny it. "W-We did... didn't we."

He sighed, taking a dangerous step closer to her. "We did, and we must talk about it now, for... I cannot stop thinking about it, and I'm sure you have not either."

She blinked, looking at him in awe as it seemed he could read her mind. What could she possibly say to counter that? "I-I guess you are right..."

He knew it. "Then... can we please talk about it, what it means, and what it entails?"

The way he spoke made her heart beat faster, making her believe she had some sort of chance with him. However, as always, her mind drifted, and she thought of her best friend. Jo still had no clue of this, and it seemed Laurie hadn't dared to speak of it with her. Perhaps it was better this way, keeping this a secret between the two of them.

Yet another secret...

"W-We can..." Monica agreed, feeling a weight on her shoulders as she immediately regretted her words. Even after all this time, she still wasn't ready to face him, but here they were.

He seemed a bit relieved. "Great... so, uh... How do you feel?"

That was an excellent question, but one that Monica was too afraid to answer. However, she knew she needed to give him some sort of conclusion to whatever he may have been feeling. It was evident enough this ordeal was bothering him, and she knew she was the only one who could remedy it. "I-I feel..." Monica sucked in her breath, begging herself to say something, anything. "I feel foolish..."

Blinking, the boy visibly deflated. "F-Foolish?"

"Y-Yes?" she sighed, knowing there was no going back from this narrative. "It was... impulsive and sudden, and surely, we were immersed in the moment."

His heart started breaking, and he took another step forward. "I-I don't believe we were though, I-"

"Laurie..." Monica stopped him, images of him with Jo flashing through her mind. "There are... other factors we need to consider, and perhaps it's best we forget the whole thing." Even though she hated the words she was saying, she felt there was nothing else to say.

"Other... factors..." Laurie pondered upon this, having no clue what the dark-haired girl was referring to.

But she thought he was following along. "I believe you are a good man, you shouldn't... tie yourself down because of a silly little impulse."

He wanted to argue with her, wanted desperately to tell her he wouldn't be tied down, but floating above the clouds alongside her. But the more she spoke, the more evident it became that she did not feel the same way he did.

So before this could go on any further, he took a step back, both figuratively and physically. "I-I see."

The poet nodded, relieved he was on what she believed to be the same page as her. "Jo said she would await your return to learn what happened at the ball. Perhaps you could visit her as well? She might still be up writing."

But he didn't want to see Jo. He wanted to stay here. However, it's become evident he overstayed his welcome. "I-I will..."

"It was nice to see you again, Laurie." She said genuinely.

"L-Likewise..." And feeling defeated, Laurie finally left the room, leaving the poet in her lonesome once again.

Monica looked around, the air in the room feeling colder than before. She sighed, shaking her head as she sat back down on the couch and mindlessly picked her book back up. Looking through the pages with blurry eyes, the poet knew she wouldn't be able to read it further, not after what just happened.

Hiding her true feelings for the Laurence boy was no easy feat, but she felt she had no choice if she was to put her best friend first. Jo had known Laurie first, and their relationship was far more connected than hers would ever be with him. It made much more sense that he would end up with her, or at least, that's what Monica believed.

She didn't want to get in the way of them, and after tonight, she knew she had guaranteed she never would again.

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Author's Note

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, especially since I decided not to include any of the exact scenes that are in the movie for this. This was a bit of a writing challenge for me, so I hope it was enjoyable to read (minus the angst oops XD). 

I also want to take a moment to let you all know that I officially made a TikTok account to make edits of my Wattpad works. If you're interested, feel free to give me a follow @_alexaisforever_ to see edits of this story and upcoming stories I have planned. 

Thank you again for all the support you are showing this story! It means a lot to me. As always, if you have any feedback or critiques for me, feel free to let me know! 

See you next time! 

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