Chapter 9: A Plan for Idiots, by an Idiot!

It was finally the day of the physical exam and Setsuko found herself walking with the rest of the second years towards the clinic. Tamaki was walking a few steps in front of her and Kyoya anxiously muttering to himself, most likely about the plan they had come up with yesterday.

"I'm curious." Setsuko started, glancing up at Kyoya, "Why didn't you tell Tamaki or Haruhi about the private clinics? You're really gonna let Tamaki go through with that plan of his?"

Kyoya looked down at Setsuko before looking ahead at Tamaki, a chilling smile on his face.

Setsuko shivered, honestly, she preferred Kyoya saying something like he was planning on murdering Tamaki instead of flat out not answering her. She shook her head to try to get rid of the chills and looked forwards, watching as the doors opened to reveal a long line of doctors and nurses waiting for them. Seeing so many of them was extremely daunting.

"Come on in." They all said together.

Let's just get this over with. Setsuko thought as she stepped inside. Though before she could head off to the private rooms, she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked over to see Kyoya holding her back.

"Since you know about the private rooms, I must request that you take Haruhi there if this plan is to fail."

"Yeah, got it." She said with a sigh. 'If' he said, there was no way this plan was going to to through, and she hoped it wouldn't.

A small way in front of them, there was a crowd of girls, and not so subtle were Honey and Mori wearing doctors' outfits.

"Honey-senpai? Mori-senpai?" A familiar voice asked, and Setsuko saw Haruhi not too far from her. She, along with Kyoya walked up to the brunette.

"They're so obvious." Setsuko muttered.

"Those two are here to deal with things in case something happens." Kyoya said.

"But why are they in doctor disguises?"

"For the mood, I assume." Setsuko sighed. "Knowing Tamaki, he probably wanted this to feel more like a real espionage mission or something."

"Yeah, that sounds like him." Haruhi sighed.

"Wow Miss Shiramane, you've lost two whole kilos since last year!" A nearby doctor exclaimed getting Setsuko's attention as the nurses around nearby applauding.

"Don't you think it's weird that these doctors seem so jovial and nice?" Haruhi asked.

"They're chosen by the school's chairman. This may be a school but it's also a business. Therefore, he wants to keep the students happy. After all, most of the students who attend Ouran Academy come from prominent families that have their own private doctors at home So this, is just a formality."

A deadpanned expression appeared on Haruhi's face, "These damn rich people." She muttered as she walked away.

Setsuko let out a short laugh before someone bumped into Kyoya, causing him to bump into her. The man who had bumped into him turned and looking down at Kyoya. "I'm... terribly sorry."

"No problem." Kyoya said, his voice slightly distant as he watched the man walk away.

Though before the man turned back around, he made eye contact with Setsuko and chills ran down her spine. Something told her that he didn't belong here and going by the expression on Kyoya's face he thought so as well.

There were sudden squeals further up ahead, and Setsuko looked to see the twins standing shirtless in front of a group of girls.

"See, Haruhi, a rather impressive turnout today. This exam day is really popular for the ladies." Kyoya said.

"Amazing, you can turn even an awkward school mandated exam into something for your personal gain." Setsuko said as Hikaru and Kaoru once again started their brotherly love act for the girls around them. They were talking about playing doctor or something- she couldn't really hear them too well thanks to the squealing group of girls nearby.

As the girls were distracted by the twins, Honey and Mori sprang into action, pushing Haruhi behind a nearby curtain.

"Mr. Fujioka, it's time to measure your chest. Once you've finished disrobing would you please come with me?" A nearby nurse said, and upon hearing this the girls all moved from Hikaru and Kaoru to stand behind the nurse, all eagerly watching for Haruhi to step out shirtless.

Setsuko did not expect what happened next.

Instead of Haruhi, Tamaki in a crappy brunette wig stepped out from behind the curtain.

"Yes." He said, a completely serious look on his face. "I am Fujioka Haruhi."

Setsuko started to bust out laughing alongside the Hitachiin twins, wrapping her arms around her stomach as tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. Not only was Tamaki dumb enough to think this plan would work, but the absolute seriousness on his face and the sudden silence from the girls was a riot. She almost felt bad for him.

"He actually went through with it!" Hikaru exclaimed.

"They recognized him! I told you they'd see through it!" Kaoru shouted.

Tamaki looked over at the twins and tore the wig off of his head before throwing it at the three laughing hosts, an embarrassed look on his face. He reached forwards and grabbed Hikaru by the neck, holding the older twin close to his face.

"You jerks! You said there was no way the girls would be able to tell you apart!"

"It's payback for calling us the homosexual supporting cast." Hiakaru said, still laughing.

Tamaki huffed and pulled away before walking to the curtain, timidly looking around it at who Setsuko could only assume was Haruhi. He said something too quiet for her to hear but within the next second he let out an ear-piercing screech and jumped back from the curtain.

Kyoya placed a hand on Setsuko's shoulder and motioned towards the curtain. Remembering what he had asked her before they entered the clinic she sighed and nodded, following him behind the curtain, the twins and Honey and Mori- now out of the doctors' costumes- following after them.

"I've gone ahead and set a room for you in the special boy's clinic. And I have a doctor standing by sworn to secrecy." Kyoya said.

"It turns out all the doctors here today are all on staff at Kyoya-senpai's family's hospitals." Hikaru said.

"Would have been nice if you said something sooner." Kaoru said.

"I had to get my revenge too." He said, giving the hosts a closed eyed smile. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supporting cast, homosexual or otherwise."

"I have to admit, it was pretty satisfying payback." Setsuko said, if she said she wasn't slightly offended when Tamaki had called her supporting cast she would be lying. She has Main character energy if there was anything for her to say about it. She stepped forwards and offered a hand to Haruhi, who was kneeling on the floor. "I'm headed to the private clinics as well, so I'll lead you there."

"Right, thanks senpai." Haruhi said, reaching forwards and grabbing Setsuko's hand, helping the brunette up.

Setsuko just smiled and after one final glance towards Kyoya before the two of them started walking towards the private clinics.

"I'm curious, why are you going to the special boy's clinics?" Haruhi asked.

"Well, I don't like the idea of so many girls seeing me bare chested." Setsuko said, placing a hand on the back of her neck. "I asked Kyoya-senpai if I could have a private room and he set me up with one."

"Ah, so you're shy." Haruhi said bluntly.

"That's... one way to put it." Setsuko nervously laughed and looked ahead as a door with a sign reading 'Private Clinics' came into view. "Looks like we're here." She stepped up to the door and knocked, a nurse opening the door and greeting the two with a smile.

"Mr. Kuwata and Mr. Fujioka, I've been made aware of your situations. I can take one of you at a time."

Haruhi and Setsuko glanced at each other and Setsuko smiled, "You can go in first. I'm fine waiting out here."

"You sure, senpai?"

"Of course. I'll be able to get some shut eye if I wait a bit before my exam." She grabbed Haruhi by her shoulders and pushed her into the room. "Have fun." The door closed behind the brunette and Setsuko let out a sigh before she moved over and sat in a nearby chair to wait in. She rested her head on her hand, letting out a yawn.

As she was waiting, she heard footsteps hurrying towards her, assuming it was Tamaki she looked over lazily only to see the unfamiliar man from before running towards the door. Acting fast she jumped up from her seat and stood between the man and the door. "What do you think you're doing you can't go in the-mfh!" She was cut off by the man placing a hand over her mouth and placing his other hand on her shoulder, pressing her against the door.

"Shh, please be quiet. I'm not here to hurt you." He said.

Did he find me? Fear started settling in Setsuko's chest, as flashes of the capped man came into mind. For a few seconds she was immobilized by fear as her body trembled, but she knew she had to get free somehow. She reached up and grabbed his hand to try to pull it off her mouth, but before she could reach it, she heard footsteps and the man looked down the hall with a fearful expression. She saw panic cross his face and he pushed her to the side, making her crash into the chairs that had been set out beside the room. As she was propping up to see the man, she watched as he slipped into the private clinic.

Pain radiated from her side as she laid on the ground, she had hit the armrest on her way down and it had dug straight into her side. She placed a hand on the pained area and hissed in pain, that wasn't going to go away any time soon.

"We're coming, Haruhi!" A voice called and she looked up from where she was laying on the ground to see the rest of the hosts running towards the room. She sat up and watched as he threw open the door, completely blind of anything else around him, the other hosts followed him into the room.

"Are you okay?" Someone asked and Setsuko looked to see Kyoya standing in front of her, looking down with a look of... concern? Funny, she never thought he could make that expression.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Setsuko said, using a nearby chair to help her stand up. Though as she moved a sudden pain ran through her side and she winced, hunching over and hissing in pain. Not only was the injury on her side painful, but her binder had shifted ever so slightly and was now slightly digging into her skin. She forced herself to ignore the pain and straightened up. This was nothing. "Let's join the others."

Inside the clinic the other hosts had confronted,  and were standing over the man, who was sitting against the wall holding his head. Haruhi was standing back, a mixed look of surprise and fear on her face. It looked like the man had burst in as she was undressing, since she was standing there in only an undershirt with a second button up shirt draped over her.

"One." The twins started, "Good looks that attract the public eye."

"Two: More wealth than you could imagine." Kyoya said, stepping through the curtains from behind Setsuko.

"Three: Chivalry that you will never be able to overlook." Mori started.

"The hideous wickedness of the world." Honey said.

"That's what makes up the Ouran Host Club!" Tamaki announced, placing his shirt over Haruhi to help cover her up. The hosts all stood protectively around Haruhi, glaring down at the man who had broken into the private clinic. Setsuko stood beside Mori, wrapping her arm around her stomach, and placing her hand over her injured side to try to lessen the pain as she glared down at him as well, not even questioning the dramatic entrance of the club.

The doctor flinched back and raised his arms in surrender before he bowed down, "Please don't hurt me! Spare me my life!" He pushed himself up and looked towards the ground with a gloomy expression on his face. "I'm a doctor, I have a small emergency clinic that I run in the next town over. My name is 'Yabu'."

"Did he say his name's Yabu?" Hikaru whispered to Kaoru.

"That's crazy. What a terrible name for a doctor." Kaoru responded.

"Unless he's a quack." They finished together.

"I know... I was here because I was hoping to see my daughter. My wife left me last month and took my daughter with her, but I know that she attends school here." Yabu said.

"I don't mean to pry or anything, but why did your wife and daughter leave you?" Haruhi asked.

I don't mean to pry, she says as she prys. Setsuko thought.

"Well, you see..." Suddenly he was delving into his backstory, in short he kept letting people give him 'IOU's instead of paying him and eventually went broke and because of that and his wife and daughter were sick of it and decided to leave him. "And that was it, they left me, forever. I know I'm terrible at managing our money, and I can't say no to anybody, I don't blame them for being tired of constantly living in debt."

So, this guy really is a quack. Setsuko thought with a deadpanned expression.

"I wanted to see my daughter one more time, so I came here." Yabu continued, "After being pelted by rain and wondering the streets I finally made it here, once I entered, I was mistaken for a doctor here to examine students."

"Well of course you're wearing a lab coat." Hiakru said.

"Anyone would mistake you." Kaoru finished.

"And then it happened. I tried to get the attention of one of the students but when I tried to ask her about my daughter, she screamed, and before I knew it there were all kinds of people chasing me!" He sobbed.

"That's so tragic." Tamaki whimpered, kneeling in front of the man with tears streaming down his own cheeks.

"Dr. Yabu, I think you may have the wrong place." Kyoya said, "Are you looking for Ouran Public High School?"

Yabu looked up, "Yeah, that's right."

"I figured that might be the case. This is Ouran Academy, a private institution. Your daughter doesn't go to school here."

The man's mouth opened as he grew pale with the sudden realization.

"Yeah, that's pretty sad. You don't even know what school your daughter goes to?" Hikau asked.

"I bet your relationship is messed up because you don't pay attention to her, not because of some stupid debt." Kaoru added.

"Wow, Kyo-chan! I'm impressed that you figured out he had the wrong school!" Honey exclaimed.

"Well, there was no way the daughter of such a small-time doctor would ever be able to get into Ouran Academy."

"Kyoya." Tamaki piped up from where he was kneeling in front of the man, "Would you please find a map of all the public schools in the area, I'd like to help this man find his daughter."

Setsuko looked over towards Kyoya, seeing an expression of surprise on his face before it was quickly replaced by a neutral smile. "Whatever you say."

Once they got the map, the club said goodbye to the man as he started to walk out of the clinic, where Tamaki said a very dramatic goodbye and wished the best for Yabu.

"Thank you again for all your help." Yabu said. "I'm very grateful. And I'm sorry about earlier." He looked over towards both Haruhi and Setsuko, giving them an apologetic smile.

"It's... alright." Haruhi said.

"Yeah, don't sweat it." Setsuko said, waving a hand dismissively. "Just go find you daughter and try to improve your relationship, I'm sure if you try hard enough, you'll be able to make amends. So... do it before it's too late."

The man looked at her with slightly widened eyes before he smiled and nodded, finally turning, and walking out of the clinic and out of the school.

"You sure about this?" Hikaru asked as the group moved to the window to watch as the man walked off the academy's campus.

"After all, even if they do see each other, I'm sure his daughter will still have given up on him." Kaoru added.

"That is something that he will have to find out for himself."

"I, for one, believe in him. He seemed to really want to reconcile with his daughter." Setsuko said, looking down at the distant figure of the man, an almost saddened smile on her face.

"Hate to ruin the moment, but could I ask you guys to leave?" Haruhi said, and around her everyone except for Mori, Kyoya, and Setsuko gasped in shock- Tamaki even looked almost offended.

"Haruhi, are you still angry?" The blond asked. "You're not thinking of quitting the host club, are you?"

Haruhi turned and looked at the blond with a smile, "I still have to undergo the rest of my physical exam, right? As a male student. Oh, but not because you're bribing me with food." Her smile widened and her cheeks turned slightly pink. "It's to pay back my debt,"

Tamaki jumped forwards and wrapped his arms around Haruhi, "You're so cute, Haruhi! I could see right through you! I know you're just after that fancy tuna!"

Haruhi tried to push away from Tamaki, "Cut it out, senpai!" She shouted, then her face flushed red, "Hey- don't touch me there!"

"Red card!" The twins shouted and they grabbed onto Tamaki, pulling him away.

"Looks like Tamaki-senpai," Hiakru started.

"Is the real pervert." Kaoru finished.

"Who cares, would you guys just get out of here!?" Haruhi exclaimed, pushing all the hosts into the hallway.

Setsuko let out a sigh of relief and tried to secretly adjust her binder, after what had happened, she doubted most of the hosts would be leaving until Haruhi was finished with her exam.

"Are you alright, Itsuki?" Kyoya asked, and suddenly all eyes were on her.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?"

Kyoya adjusted his glasses and looked from her to the chairs that were still scattered around the hallway behind her. "Ever since we got here your hand hasn't left your side, it almost seems like you're in pain."

Setsuko tensed slightly before she let out a nervous laugh, "Oh, it's nothing. I just got knocked around a bit earlier while trying to stop that guy and probably pulled something."

"A bit, huh?" A voice said and there was a quick movement, and the twins were suddenly at her side. Kaoru grabbed onto the hand that had been holding her side while Hikaru pulled up her shirt, just barely stopping short of her binder.

"That looks like more than a bit." Kaoru said, looking down at the spot that had been injured.

Setsuko's cheeks turned red, and she tried to pull away, "H-hey, let go of me!" She exclaimed. As she tried to get out of their grip, Kyoya stepped forwards and leaned down, getting a closer look at the injury. If her stomach being exposed for the entire club wasn't bad enough, Kyoya reached forwards and placed his hand on her side, causing chills to run up her spine, though a second later she hissed in pain as he pressed on the injury.

"Just as I thought, it's definitely swollen." He pulled away and looked down to meet Setsuko's eyes. "Hikaru, Kaoru, you two can let go of him." The twins moved away from her and Setsuko fixed her clothes, her cheeks still beat red.

"Don't ever do that again." Setsuko said, glaring at the two with a beat red face.

"It's your fault for not telling us." Hikaru said with a shrug.

"We're just concerned for your wellbeing." Kaoru added, mimicking his twin.

"How were we supposed to know you were shy."

"Concerned my ass." Setsuko muttered, tucking in her shirt. "Anyways, It's just a bruise, it'll heal in a few days."

Kyoya looked like he was about to say something when the door opened and Haruhi stepped out, the doctor standing behind her.

"Thank you, Mr. Fujioka. Mr. Kuwata, if you'd come with me, I'll start your exam next." She said with a warm smile.

With one last glance towards the host club, Setsuko sighed and stepped inside the room, leaving the club on the other side.

__

You thought they were done!

*

Setsuko: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Haruhi: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Tamaki: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!

Kyoya: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Setsuko: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.

*

Setsuko: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

*

Setsuko: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?

Kyoya: *turning to Tamaki* How tall are you?

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