The club had started around half an hour ago, Kyoya was walking around the room watching as the guests chatted happily with the host of their choosing. A satisfied smile made its way to his face as he looked down at the contents of his notebook.

"He's absolutely breathtaking." A voice said, and Kyoya looked over to see some girls sitting at tables looking over at a teen sleeping on a tree branch.

Kyoya stopped at the small bamboo crafted bar, looking busy as if he were writing something down, while instead he watched the scene in front of him.

Itsuki was laying fast asleep on a tree branch while girls sat in tables that were nearby. Not only did this method allow more of Itsuki's clients in at one time, but it also allowed him, or her, to get more sleep.

Having a police force owned by your family helps when doing background checks on those to join the host club or attend Ouran Academy in general. Searching up the mysterious transfer student led to an interesting file and reading through it he now knew everything he could about Kuwata Itsuki, or should he say Akemi Setsuko.

An upcoming idol being placed into witness protection wasn't something you read about just any day. According to what he knew Setsuko was being threatened by a stalker who had managed to break into her home and then later find out the hotel she was staying at. The police were investigating him as quickly as they could, but nothing had come to light. With that knowledge he made sure to keep an eye on her, from what he read this stalker seemed like serious business. Finding both her house and hotel? He hated to admit it, but the stalker was rather talented, which made him even more dangerous.

Ever since he had learned about her identity, he made sure to keep an eye on the girl, and he had noticed quite a few things as he watched her. On the surface anyone could mistake her for a charming teen boy with a tendency to take naps throughout the day, but it wasn't hard to see that Setsuko jumped at sudden movements, or when birds flew past the windows outside. She was stressed and on edge, and apart from homework probably wasn't getting much sleep due to said stress. At Ouran, it was clear that she felt somewhat safer, since there were armed security guards doing constant perimeter checks of the school, and even if someone were to get in, they wouldn't be able to get too far.

Kyoya reached up and adjusted his glasses that were slipping down the bridge of his nose. Snapping his notebook closed he looked forwards towards the sleeping host. He would never admit it outwardly, but he was the co-founder of this club, and that meant the members within it would be safe, no matter the threat.

***

"Hey boss, stop eating that commoner's ramen and come over here to help with the party planning." Hikaru called out towards Tamaki, who was sitting at a secluded table away from the rest of the club.

After club hours ended, Itsuki was woken up and the music room was cleared of all the props they had used earlier that day. And since the party was coming up, Kyoya had called an afterclub meeting so they could properly plan everything. But as of now nothing has really been done due to Tamaki sulking in the corner with his ramen.

"Does it really bother you that Princess Kanako had taken a liking to Haruhi?" Kaoru asked.

"He shouldn't be surprised; she's had the illness for a while now, hasn't she?" Kyoya said, not looking up from his laptop.

"What illness?" Haruhi asked.

"She's got the host hopping disease." Hikaru said, moving to stand behind Kyoya.

"A.K.A the never-the-same-boy-twice disease." Kaoru said, moving to stand beside his twin.

"Sounds to me like she's just trying to see which host suits her needs the best." Setsuko said, resting her head on the back of her hand.

"That's what we believed at first, but our customers usually choose a favorite host and see them regularly, however, princess Kanako tends to change her favorites on a regular basis." Kyoya responded.

"That's right, because before she chose you, she was with Tama-chan." Honey exclaimed.

Setsuko let out a small huff of amusement, "So this is all because he's salty that Haruhi took one of his clients, huh? I'm gonna be honest that's kinda pathetic, Tamaki."

Tamai burst out of his chair and ran up to the table where everyone was at, "Shut up! I couldn't care less! I'm running out of patience! Haruhi, it's time you started dressing like a girl!

"Tamaki, are you alright in the head?" Setsuko asked, "One of your regulars decided to switch hosts and now you want that host to cross-dress? I mean no offence to cross-dressers but that's going a bit too far." Once she finished her statement, all of the hosts looked at her, even Kyoya had stopped typing on his laptop. She raised an eyebrow and looked at all of them in confusion. "What, do I have some leaves in my hair? Drool on my face?"

"We forgot to tell him." Hikaru said, placing a hand over his mouth.

"That Haruhi's actually a girl." Kaoru finished, mimicking his brother's movements.

Haruhi's a girl? Setsuko thought, glancing over towards the brunette with curious eyes. Now that she knew she couldn't believe that she didn't notice before. Haruhi's figure was a bit smaller than the average male teen. Not to mention her facial features were more feminine than masculine, and her voice was a higher pitch. "Wait, if Haruhi's a girl, then why is she in the host club?"

"I mentioned it to you earlier, I broke an expensive vase at the beginning of the year and I'm working as a host to repay that debt. They mistook me as a guy and made me a host."

"I guess that makes sense. Am I right to assume that this is a secret from the rest of the students here?" Haruhi nodded, "Then you don't have to worry, I have no intentions of telling anyone." Besides, with my own secret being so similar it'd be kinda scummy to tell anyone. She sighed quietly and looked from Haruhi to Tamaki, who was tearfully holding back what he wanted to say. "Tamaki just say what you want to say."

Tamaki took in a deep breath before he continued spouting nonsense. "I don't understand how you can be so popular when you yourself are a lady! No one in the entire school knows the truth except for those of us here!"

"Yeah, she opted out of taking gym classes." Hikaru said, now appearing beside Tamaki.

"And the attendance numbers are all mixed together so no one can tell." Kaoru added.

Tamaki darted off to the side before he dragged a large chest back towards the group, opening it to reveal an enlarged picture of Haruhi before she cut her hair. "That's enough Haruhi, now you listen to daddy. Daddy wants you to go back to the way you were!"

"Don't go blowing up my photos without asking me first!" Haruhi shouted.

Tamaki hung the picture up on a nearby wall and the rest of the hosts moved from the table to gather around it. Setsuko decided to stay back and stand beside Haruhi.

"The more I look at this picture, the more amazed I am." Hikaru said, holding up a picture of what Setsuko assumed was Haruhi before she became a host, wearing a large sweater and glasses that covered her eyes. "How could this possibly become that?"

"The day before school started, one of the kids in my neighborhood got some gum in my hair. It's a real pain to get gum out of long hair, so I decided to cut it all off. I didn't care if I looked like a dude."

"Girls should never refer to themselves as a 'dude'!" Tamaki exclaimed, grabbing onto Haruhi's shoulders with tears in his eyes. "Mommy! Haruhi's using those dirty boy words again!" Tamaki sobbed, falling to his knees dramatically.

"Who's 'Mommy'?" Kaoru asked.

"Based on club position I'd assume it's me." Kyoya said.

"Look I don't see what you're crying about." Haruhi said, looking down at the now sobbing Tamaki. "Working as a host I can pay back more of my debt. It'll never happen if I'm just an errand boy."

"Hate to change the subject." Hikaru interjected, "But do you have formal dancing experience? You'll need it for the party."

"Uh, no... but the party doesn't have anything to do with my quota, right? I'm not interested in going to events so if I could be excused..."

Tamaki looked up at Haruhi with a glint in his eyes, immediately recovering from the sobbing mess he was just a few seconds ago as he stood up and placed a hand up to his chin. "Definitely not. A refined gentleman must know how to dance. If you want to live the life of a host that badly, you're going to have to show us how far you're willing to go, Haruhi. I order you to master dancing the waltz in one week, and you will demonstrate it for us at the party. Or I'll tell the entire school that you're a girl and knock you back down to errand boy!"

"Aren't you being a little too dramatic there?" Haruhi asked with a nervous expression on her face.

"Not at all! Tomorrow the host club is closed, Haruhi must learn to dance like a gentleman!"

***

Just as Tamaki said, they closed off their club for the day and instead focused on teaching Haruhi how to waltz. They had asked Kanako to help them with teaching the first year while everyone else did what they wanted. Setsuko was sitting at a table with her head resting on the palm of her hand, Mori was spinning Honey around as they 'danced' around the room, Kyoya was leaning against a wall typing something on his laptop, god knows what the twins were up to, and Tamaki was... sulking. Apparently, he didn't like the idea of Haruhi dancing with Kanako.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly until there was a loud thunk and Setsuko looked in front of her to see that Haruhi and Kanako had fallen, with Haruhi on top of her.

"I'm so sorry Kasugazaki!" Haruhi said, her cheeks slightly red.

Kanako reached up and wrapped her arms around Haruhi's neck, pulling the brunette's head closer to her. "That's all right, Haruhi."

The gloom that had surrounded Tamaki seemed to grow more intense and the twins walked over to him, "Why so gloomy, boss?" They asked.

"I bet it's because he wanted to be the one Haruhi practices with." Hikaru said.

"I think you're right but he's way too tall to stand in as a woman. Really the only people here who could help would be Princess Kanako and Itsuki-senpai." Kaoru said.

"But Haruhi needs to learn how to lead, so Itsuki's out." Hikrau shrugged.

"I know how to follow." Setsuko said, getting the twins attention.

"You do?" They asked.

"Yeah, I had to learn both parts since my dad wanted me to help with dance practice for some of the idols he manages." That wasn't actually far from the truth. Setsuko had really learned both lead and follow but it was actually because she needed to be able to do both for a performance.

"Then why don't you go and help Haruhi, Princess Kanako might need a break. Besides, it will be good practice to dance with more than one person." Kyoya said.

Setsuko stood up from where she was sitting and walked over to the two, seeing that they had recovered from their fall earlier. She bowed her head and offered the two of them a soft smile. "Princess, why don't you take a shot break, I can help Haruhi for a bit while you rest."

Kanako looked at Setsuko and a small blush appeared on her cheeks, "Of course, good luck Haruhi~" With that she walked off and sat over by a table, where Kyoya had placed out some tea.

Setsuko turned to look at Haruhi and reached out her hand, "May I have this dance?"

For the next half hour, Setsuko helped Haruhi learn the waltz. After all the complex choreography she head to learn, the waltz was easy. A simple four step dance that flowed from one move to another. After they were done Haruhi was much better off than when she first started.

"I didn't know you could dance like that, senpai." Haruhi said as the two of them walked over towards the table where Kanako was sitting.

A small smile appeared on Setsuko's face, "I've had a lot of experience. Besides, it's something I enjoy doing."

The two of them made their way to the table where Kanako was sitting with some tea, Haruhi moved ahead and thanked her for helping with practice. Setsuko moved to one of the windowsills and leaned her head back, she deserved this nap.

***

"-strategy!" A voice shouted out and Setsuko blinked open her eyes to see that Kanako had left and the hosts were gathered around the middle. With a sigh she pushed herself up and walked over to them, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She probably needed to hear whatever Tamaki was baltering about. He looked up at the members, sparkles flying off his hair as he continued. "Men, it is our responsibility as members of the elite Ouran Host Club to make every girl happy!"

"What's he going on about?" Setsuko asked.

"Right, you were asleep." Hikaru said, "Apparently Princess Kanako is engaged, but her fiancé is going to study abroad. Boss probably wants us to help them get back together during the party we're throwing."

"Ah." Setsuko said before turning to Tamaki and raising her hand slightly, "I'm sorry but I can't help you guys with this."

"What, why not?" Tamaki asked.

"My father wants me to help with Momoko's performance, so I'll be busy most of the party." She felt someone's eyes on her, and she looked over towards Kyoya, "Don't worry, I'll still make an appearance at the beginning."

Tamaki sighed, "I guess it can't be helped. You're excused from this plan, but only this plan, Itsuki!"

"Great, thanks. If that's all I think I'm going to head out. I don't want to keep my driver waiting for too long." She walked over and grabbed her bag, "Good luck with whatever you're planning."

__

Shitpost time!

Tamaki: I think we're missing something.

Setsuko: Teamwork?

Hikaru: Cohesion?

Kaoru: A general sense of what we're doing?

*

Haruhi: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Setsuko: Apparently, we're not.

*

Setsuko: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.