"The Cultural Exposition, huh?" Setsuko asked herself as she walked down the hallway. Two weeks had passed since the beach chapter, and it was the day of the Cultural Exposition, where choir and drama clubs from a bunch of other schools had been invited. According to Kyoya it was a big event that was hosted annually, which made sense as all the classes and club activities had been canceled that afternoon.

Luckily it wasn't mandatory, so her plan was to go to the club room and take a much-needed nap. The night before she had participated in a late-night newscast and being asked question after question and coming up with answers that would make her fans happy, as well as keep up her Momoko act was exhausting. Not to mention she still had to finish her homework before heading to bed. The sooner she got her nap in, the better it was for her mental state.

She got to the club room and opened the door, only to feel dread the moment she saw who was inside, more specifically were wearing. The rest of the hosts, except Haruhi, were standing there in a knight costume, which meant today was a cosplay day, which also meant they had club activities today.

"Itsuki!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"No." Setsuko said. Despite the beach chapter being a few weeks ago, she still hadn't completely forgiven Tamaki about what he had said. Besides, it was still too much fun to watch as he cowered away from her. She looked towards Kyoya, who was also in some knight attire. "Kyoya, what's happening? I thought club activities were canceled for the exposition."

"They have the option to cancel, it's just not mandatory for them to have activities today. And today I believe we'll get a fair amount of revenue from the visiting students."

"Right, this is all for money. Of course." Setsuko said.

"Now, go change into your costume, it's hanging up in the dressing room." Kyoya said.

Setsuko groaned and trudged towards the back of the room, where she grabbed a bag with her name on it and changed into the costume, a slim silver knight's outfit with golden accents. Under the tasset, there was a dark red pleated skirt. The armor went down to her elbows and from then on, she had gloves that were the same red as the skirt. Next, she had a dark red scarf wrapped around her neck. Finally, she had a sword that went in a scabbard attached at her waist.

"Where's Haruhi?" Setsuko asked as she walked back into the main room and sat on the couch, opposite from where Kyoya was sitting.

"She went to go grab some more coffee for us." Hikaru said.

"Gotcha."

In front of the group, the doors started to open, and everyone straightened up. They all reached their hand to the door and smiled, "Welcome, ladies!"

Tamaki pulled out his sword and held it up vertically. "Well, well, well, I see you ladies are from another school. I certainly hope we haven't startled you. We love first time guests." He put his sword away and walked up to the two, who so far haven't changed their expressions a single time. "I'm glad you've come, princesses. My darlings, even if the world were to be destroyed, I'd put my life on the line as your faithful knight and servant." He knelt down in front of them. "I will protect you."

"Oh my, do you really think you'd be able to protect us? That's awfully arrogant of you, wouldn't you agree?" The girl with long wavy hair said, looking away with a smirk on her face. "You think that's what a woman wants to hear? Well, you're wrong."

Setuko perked up, it looks like one of the girls has some common sense not to fall for Tamaki's poor flirting.

"C'mon, give him a break, Sister Suzuran." The girl with short brown hair said, "Men are just lowly life forms who don't care about anything other than perpetuating their testosterone-laden image. By 'protecting us' he is actually attempting to disguise the fact that he is weak and unable of even protecting himself."

"You're such a clever girl, Hinagiku."

...What? Setsuko thought. Sure, Tamaki wasn't her favorite person at the moment, and he deserved to be put down a peg or two but this girl... this girl was way too extreme. And did the other girl, (Suzuran was it?) Call her clever?

"Don't you think that's a little harsh? Fine then, what do women like you want to hear?"

"Maybe something like, 'I would never leave my lover alone'." A new voice said, and Setsuko looked past the two girls to see a newcomer with her arm wrapped around Haruhi, pulling the female host close to her. She picked up Haruhi and spin her around like a rag doll and continued to monologue. "If we fight, it'll be together. If we fail, we fail together. Even if I were to die, I promise you that I will never leave your side, my love." She knelt down and held Haruhi's hand in her own, lightly kissing the back of it once she finished her speech.

"Benibara, we thought you'd never show." Hinagiku said walking up to Haruhi and the newcomer, Benibara.

"What are we going to do with you? So, tell us where you found this lovely young lady." Suzuran asked.

"I just met her outside of the school. She may be dressed as a boy, but I knew the truth. She has such pretty maidenly eyes." She pulled Haruhi into a dip, moving in close.

"Uh, thanks, I guess?" Haruhi said.

"Don't go touching my Haruhi without asking my permission!" Tamaki shouted and ran forwards, presumably to get Haruhi out of the girl's grasps. Though the moment he got close, Benibara punched him right in the face and sent him flying back.

"Leave her alone!" Benibara shouted.

"She punched me! She's so violent!" Tamaki shouted, tears streaming out from his eyes.

"Get a hold of yourself!" Honey exclaimed.

"You're going a little too far, even for me." Setsuko said, looking from the crying Tamaki to the three girls who had let go of Haruhi and left her standing in the doorway, still trying to process what had just happened.

"Guess the rumors we heard are true." Benibara said. "You guys are just a bunch of weak little punks with no sense between you."

"Those uniforms." Kyoya said, "I assume you ladies are from the Lobelia Girl's Academy?"

"That's correct."

Setsuko watched in shock as the three girls tore off their uniforms, where they all surprisingly had other costumes underneath. How did they hide those under their uniforms?

"Lobelia~!" Benibara sang.

"Lobelia~!" Suzuran sang, her voice a higher pitch.

"Lobelia~!" Hinagiku sang.

A little pitchy. Setsuko thought.

"St. Lobelia Academy, high school 2nd year, Amakusa Benio." Benibara said, tipping the bowler hat she was now wearing.

"Lobelia~" The three sang again.

"2nd year student, Maihara Chizuraru." Suzuran introduced.

"Lobelia~"

"1st year student, Tsuwabuki Hinako." Hinagiku introduced.

"Lobelia~"

"We are the members of St. Lobelia Academy's white lily league also known as-" Benibara started.

"The Zuka club!" The three exclaimed.

Setsuko did everything she could to hold in her laughter at the sudden new costumes they were wearing. The feathers on the back, fluffed out in a ridiculous manner, and the number of ruffles and layers on the costumes made them look ridiculous. Not to mention there was a light behind them as if they brought a portable spotlight. They really fit those under their uniforms? Not even the host club has accomplished that!

As Tamaki fell to the ground in utter despair while the twins burst into tears laughing, causing Setsuko to start laughing.

"Oh man, what a stupid name! The Zuka Club! My stomach hurts!" Hikaru forced between laughs.

"Those costumes are priceless!" Setsuko shouted. "I can't believe they had those under their uniforms!"

"You shouldn't underestimate the Zuka Club!" A sudden voice called out, and there was a loud mechanical whirring as Renge once again rose from the ground. "I may not know much about instant coffee, but I'm fascinated with girls' schools." She took a sip of her coffee before making an expression of disgust and wiped her lips before discarding the cup. "St. Lobelia Academy! It is truly a woman's world there. The Zuka club is a group of strong young maidens who consider woman to be superior in every way. The club prides itself on its 30-year history. It's a society of maidens, by maidens, for maidens. Zuka club activities include: 'Maiden Tea Parties', 'The Maiden Debate Forum', and most importantly musical reviews performed by the society's top members."

"So, they're like the host club except it's all girls?" Setsuko asked, having recovered from her laughing fit and was putting the last piece of her chest plate on a nearby table, having gone to the changing rooms and changed back into her uniform alongside the rest of the hosts. Her comment seemed to of offended one of the girls, as she let out an offended gasp.

"To compare us to a club of such simple-minded men is an insult to all woman-kind!" Hinagiku whined.

"I'm just comparing the activities, and the purpose of each club." Setsuko said tiredly. "Zuka club- made for ladies. Host club- also made for ladies. It's not that deep."

"You're wrong. The Zuka club holds the beauty of a maiden. We possess a spirit pure enough to not give in to power or to lust." Suzuran said.

"'As a girl, you' 'for a girl, you'. We've had quite enough of all your oppressive male contempt for woman-kind." Hinagiku huffed.

"And our pride comes from having meaningful relationships based on equality because we're the same sex. And yes, that includes relationships of love." Benibara said.

"Yeah, you tell them, Benio." Suzuran said.

"You're awesome Benibara!" Hinagiku exclaimed.

As they were monologuing, Setsuko decided she had enough of this and went over to one of the couches and sat between Kaoru and Kyoya, wrapping her arms around her pillow and dozing off. This entire thing was so stupid. She watched through half-lidded eyes as Mori swung the sword from his costume through the air.

"Whatever. We're so over it." Hikaru said, playing on his handheld game. "Why don't you gals just scram?"

"I find it hard to believe that you silly boys have nothing to say about our sublime female love." Hinagiku said.

"What the hell is she talking about?" Hikaru asked.

"They're gay, Hikaru." Setsuko said bluntly. She would have considered bi or pan as well, but with the way they act towards men those two were definitely off the table.

"Hey, I haven't seen this one before. I guess it's a new one." Kaoru said, looking at a container of instant coffee that Haruhi had bought for them.

"You should feel sorry for them, Hinagiku. Their patented host skills didn't work on us- now they're all flustered, and they don't know what to do with themselves."

Setsuko looked at them with a look of disgust. Were they serious?

"True, I must say I'm glad we decided to perform here. It was fun to sneak a peek at the notorious Host Club." Benibara said.

"Hey guys, are we really notorious?" Honey asked.

"Yeah." Mori responded.

"And to think you're dragging not one but two sweet young maidens down with you." Benibara said, turning towards Haruhi and placing a hand on her shoulder as well as glancing over her shoulder and making eye contact with Setsuko. "The host club's president may be a pretty little halfer. But he shouldn't be using his looks to create a fictitious romance! Attempting to fool the heart of a pure, young maiden is demeaning! Your so-called 'club activities' are nothing more than debasing macho fantasies." Once again, they changed costumes into something that looked like it originated from an event in history that should not be being recreated, "I promise you, we will bring you guys down. The Ouran Host Club will be abolished! All hail Zuka Club!"

"Back up, did you say two maidens?" The twins asked, glancing at each other.

"You're not making your case any better with those costumes and that salute." Setsuko said, trying to quickly reroute what the twins just said.

"I understand your concern, but do you think maybe we could finish this later?" Kyoya asked, allowing for Setsuko's reroute to be successful.

"Are you saying that you're not going to face us?" Benibara asked.

"Not at all. It's just that our president is still bedridden from the initial culture shock."

While Benibara was going on about abolishing the club, Tamaki had tucked himself in on a nearby couch, holding his teddy bear as a look of discomfort showed on his face.

"You see Tama-chan is having his nappy time right now." Honey said.

"Wake him up!" Benibara shouted.

Setsuko placed a hand over her mouth and let out a shocked gasp, "How rude! I would think that maidens such as yourself would understand the concept of beauty sleep." She moved her hand to her cheek and sighed, "I really expected better from you all."

"'Scuse me. I made some coffee would you ladies like some?" Haruhi said, walking up to the three with three cups of coffee.

Benibara's attention shifted, and she turned towards Haruhi and grabbed a cup. "Why, yes! Aren't you the sweetest thing! Good to know the men haven't corrupted both of you fine young ladies!"

Is she saying I've been corrupted? What the fuck? Setsuko thought.

"You're a real pearl among swine!" Suzuran said.

"You know, coffee made by a maiden always has a more fragrant aroma." Benibara said.

"But this stuff's just instant." Haruhi said.

"How about the four of us have a little tea party?" Hinagiku asked.

Suddenly, Tamaki sat up and jumped out of the bed, starting to run towards the three. "You girls have it all wrong! Don't you see that there's nothing to be gained in a romantic relationship between two women?! If that were the case, then why did God create Adam and Eve?!"

As if I could hate him even more. Setsuko thought, watching as he ran forwards and slowly started to approach where she was standing. She kicked out her foot and watched as Tamaki fell forwards, sadly catching himself before falling flat on his face but dipping his finger into one of the steaming cups of coffee.

As Tamaki shouted in pain Setsuko joined the rest of the hosts, watching as Haruhi started to wrap up Tamaki's finger from beside Kyoya.

"You know tripping the club president isn't very kind." Kyoya said, though the tone his voice held some kind of amusement to it.

"After that he said it was either that or killing him." Setsuko said, looking up at him with a smile and flowers bouncing around her head much like Honey. "And I'm too tired to deal with a dead body right now."

"I see." Kyoya said, looking back towards the scene in front of him and adjusting his glasses.

"Now that we know what's going on, we can't allow these maidens to stay here."

"Wha-" Setsuko started, only to cut herself off when someone grabbed her and spun her around before wrapping their arm around her shoulder. In shock and trying to process what had just happened she realized that Benibara had stepped forwards and was now holding both her and Haruhi in her arms.

"We'll prepare their paperwork and have them transferred to Lobelia at once. And we'll welcome both into the Zuka Club!"

Looks of shock appeared on all of the hosts faces- even Mori looked shocked. Setsuko herself had pulled out of Benibara's hold and stumbled forwards a few steps. "What the hell, I'm not a 'maiden'!" If word got out that she was a girl now, it was only a matter of time before her real identity was discovered, and that was the last thing she wanted.

"Just wait a second, will ya?" Haruhi asked, also pulling out of Benibara's grasp. "There seem to have been some misunderstandings here. I mean, first of all, you called senpai a 'halfer'."

"'Cus he is a halfer. He's half French and half Japanese." Honey said.

"Oh- well- uh, second of all I don't think it's fair for you to pick on the host club just because you don't think they have the same history as you do."

"We barely have any history we were just founded two years ago." Hikaru said.

"Yeah, the boss created it when he started high school here." Kaoru said.

"Be that as it may, saying their club activities are only held to satisfy their appetites is just wrong. I mean, it's not like the host club is charging their guests or anything."

"While I wouldn't call it a charge, we do have a point system. We offer priority services based on the winning bids of auctions held on our website."

"You're really not helping." Setsuko said, watching as Haruhi deflated even more as one more of her points was proven wrong by the club yet again.

Kyoya just smiled and continued to scroll through the website, "Check this out, Haruhi. Your used mechanical pencil just sold with a winning bid of 30,000 yean. Good for you."

Haruhi perked up and ran to the laptop, looking at the screen with complete shock. "What?! But I thought I'd lost that pencil! Why didn't you tell me about this before, Kyoya-senpai?! I had no idea you were collecting money!" She was completely pissed off at Kyoya right now.

"So you thought we were all working here as volunteers?"

"This is an after-school club. People normally don't get paid to participate. Wait, Kyoya, is that my hairclip?" Setsuko said, she had been scrolling through the website and stumbled upon her hair clip she normally wore when studying that she thought she had lost a week ago. Apparently, she didn't lose it, instead someone bought it for 45,000 yen.

"You can't go selling people's things without asking their permission! That's stealing!" Haruhi shouted.

"It wasn't stealing you dropped your pencil on the floor." The twins piped in.

"That's not an excuse." Setsuko said, looking away from the laptop and at the twins, who were 'innocently' drinking coffee on a nearby couch.

Tamaki's sobs dragged her attention away from the twins and she looked to see Tamaki running over to Haruhi, "I'm sorry, Haruhi! It's not like we were hiding it from you!" He pulled a pencil with a teddy bear eraser on the end and offered it to Haruhi, "Here, you can have mine! It's got a cute teddy bear on it!"

"Senpai, I don't want your pencil." Haruhi said.

"Then to make it up to you how about I do this. I'll tell you the secrets to my success and my fondest memories!"

"Let me guess, your secret is you eat three roses every day?" Setsuko asked.

"Itsuki, now's not the time for jokes!" Tamaki said.

"Not to be rude, senpai, but I'm not really interested in that information." Haruhi said.

A look of utter distraught appeared on Tamaki's face. He almost looked like a ghost. "Not interested?" He rushed over to the wall and crouched down, surrounded by gloom once again as he traced circles on the ground with his finger. Though not soon after Tamaki retreated, the three Lobelia girls were surrounding both Haruhi and Setsuko once more.

"Oh you poor dears. I can't believe they've been deceiving you." Suzuran said.

"Hey, why don't you just dump those losers and come with us?" Hingiku said.

"Hold on, Hinagiku. These young maidens have had quite a day. We'll give you some time to think about it. We'll come back for your answers tomorrow." She placed a hand on both of their shoulders before she smiled and walked away. "Well then, Adieu."

Setsuko watched as the three of them started laughing and twirled, yes twirled out of the room and down the hallwa blue flower petals following after them.

Setsuko stood shocked as she watched Haruhi turn and look towards the hosts- except Tamaki, who was still sulking near the wall. "I'd better be going. I've got some thinking to do." With that Haruhi left, leaving the hosts to deal with a now sobbing Tamaki.

"Why did you have to tell her the truth?! You just added fuel to the fire! What am I going to do now?" He blathered.

"The facts are the facts." Kyoya said, completely unbothered by Tamaki's tantrum.

"Maybe we should have asked before we sold her pencil on the internet." Honey said.

"You think? I'm expecting someone to pay me back for the new hairclip I have to get." Setsuko grumbled.

"Speaking of which, that Benio girl thought you were a girl, too, Itsuki." Hikaru said, coming over and resting his arm on Setsuko's shoulder.

"Yeah, now that I think about it, you do look really feminine." Kaoru said, resting his arm on Setsuko's other shoulder.

"So, you hiding anything from us?" They asked.

Setsuko looked at the two twins, "The only thing I'm 'hiding' is how pissed off I am that you sold my hairclip. And how annoyed those Lobelia girls made me. Listen here, I just take more after my mom than my dad, which means I have softer features than most guys out there." She stepped forwards and caused the twins to fall to the ground behind her. She needed to derail this conversation, and fast. "How about instead of focusing on how much I look like a girl, we focus on Haruhi's possible school transfer. You guys really did piss her off by selling her pencil."

"Itsuki is right. Just think about it, gentlemen. Haruhi may be indifferent, but if she had to choose we know that she tends men's clothing. And besides, when she first joined the Host Club, didn't she tell us- 'Being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad.'- Why didn't I realize this before? Perhaps they would be a better match for Haruhi. Maybe she's be better off... with the Zuka Club."

At that thought, the hosts- except for Setsuko- froze in realization.

"Yeah, she's perfect for a girl's school." Kaoru said.

"Haru-chan is going to transfer away!" Honey sobbed.

"What are we going to do?" Hikaru asked in a panic.

"Haruhi's so smart passing the Lobelia scholarship test will be a piece of cake!" Kaoru said.

"And Lobelia Academy has the money to pay off the 8-million-yen debt she owes us." Kyoya said.

Of course, he's thinking about the money. Setsuko thought.

"Calm down, gentlemen. It'll be alright. Listen to what I have to say." Tamaki said. "I have a secret plan."

__

Ew, Lobelia girls.

*

Setsuko: I hate Benibara.

Haruhi: "Hate' is a strong word.

Setsuko: I have strong opinions.

*

Setsuko: Why are you like this??

Benibara: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

*

Setuko: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its "intelligent" and "really cool".

Setuko: But when I do it, I'm "petty" and "need to let it go".