A strange foreign smell drags me out of my thoughts and I try to concentrate on the direction it is coming from. A shriek scream and the only thing I know is that I need to find the girl I promised to protect. I start running, shoving aside the beasts in my way with my bare speed and mass. My eyes search the clearing with the working stations to find Nora close to one, where we are used to splitting wood.

She is throwing pebbles into the direction where the odor of black powder is coming from. She shivers and keeps on screaming and crying as the silver gun with the wooden attachments is still aimed at her. There is no blood, she must have missed her the first time.

The blonde beast roars up at the missed chance. With the already reloaded gun, she aims for another shot. It would take me the same amount of time to get to Maria as to get to Nora and she even has a second gun in her other hand. Making up my mind out of intuition I run to get to Nora. Another shot breaks out of the iron barrel and my pounding heart marks the spot when I realize I maybe won't make it.

I jump to throw myself in front of Nora and knock her off her feet, holding her close in my arms. Blood. One more shot and a hot bullet bites my back. I growl out but Nora's cries hurting me far more than every bullet could. The two of us fall into the dirt and I press her small shivering body against my chest.

I'm not entirely sure what happens behind my back but Lyall's barking of orders and the overall stomping of feet betray that they are about to get her down. Maria. I made the same mistake as Gwendolyn did. I didn't kill her when I had the chance. The blood rushes through my ears and my breath slowly leaves my lungs.

I softly stroke over Nora's head and the crumpled brown locks. The tears running down her cheeks in a steady flow and crash at my chest. I try to calm her in hushed tones. "Hey little angel, I'm here. Everything will be fine again. Shhh...". Wiping her tears away with my backhand I press hard at her side where I hold her. Blood.

I can smell it and I need to stop it. A small body like hers doesn't have enough of it to stay alive too long when it floats out of the wound a bullet leaves behind. "It hurts...", she cries out and if I would not just have pretended to have no heart one could easily hear it shatter at her words.

"Naveena!", I scream over Nora's head like an order and she darts next to me as I sit up. A sting of pain where the bullet hit my back, but I concentrate on Nora in my hands. I hate those stupid guns!

I keep on talking to Nora, trying to calm her but it's of no use. Naveena looks at me and Nora appraisingly. "Naveena, I know you can help her. I beg you to help her as you helped me. I need your different talents now."

She nods once more. "You need to calm her and I need to get my supplies. Keep her from bleeding out. The faster her heart beats the more blood she loses.", she answers and disappears to get whatever she needs. My grip on Nora's wound tightens and I know that I will be able to do that part, but the calming is not that easy.

"Nora, look at me...", I try my best. Celeste kneels down behind me and before I realize it she shoves her finger into my wound to get the bullet out. I tense up with a growl at the sudden sting of pain but concentrate on Nora instead of Celeste.

"Oh dear, is it better now?", Cassy's sweet voice at my ear but I can get a glimpse at her concerned face when she looks at Nora. At least, that's what I want to believe. She also reaches out her hand over my shoulder to stroke along Nora's cheek. "We are here, sweetheart. Daddy got you.", she says softly and even if it doesn't help Nora it helps my own anxiousness to sink and think.

An idea strikes my mind and the irony in it is so cruel that it can actually work. "Cassy, do you have some opium with you?", I want to know. After a questioning look in my serious face, she nods. "I have, do you think that's a good idea?"

"It worked with her sister and there are little other options.", I tell her and she takes out a golden etui with several rolled cigarettes in there. Taking one out she lights it for me and I nod a silent thanks before taking a draw. The burning in my throat is balm to my mind. Alright, I did this before and everything will be okay. I just need to have in mind that Henriette was a grown woman and Nora is just a little child.

"Nora, I will make the pain go away...", my words are painful to my own ears. This time it will end better. I promised to take care of her. I won't disappoint you, Henriette. Celeste's hand on Nora's cheek forces her to look at me when I press my mouth at her little one and blow the drugs into her lungs. The sudden stop of Nora's crying leaves a silence in my ears that's deafening.

Henriette, if you are really watching over her, help us.

I draw back and Nora's breathing is still heavy but she is too shocked about what just happened and looks into my face. Giving her a warm smile I hush silently. "Hey, little angel, do you remember your friend from yesterday?", I try to keep her distracted but the tears are welling up again. "She will come to help you out."

I take another draw from the cigarette and before she starts to cry I blow the smoke into her face from afar this time. She blinks a few times and I give her another smile. "We are a team. You and me." I kiss her forehead. "Unfortunately, I'm a bit afraid, but you are the brave part, right? Can you be brave for me?", I murmur against her forehead and the girl in my arms can't prevent the tears from falling but she nods and tries.

That's fine. Totally fine. I take another draw from the opium cigarette and Nora buries her face at my chest. "Shh... I'm here." The smell of her blood and the fear to lose her make my eyes glow but I don't hide it when Naveena comes back with the supplies. "Alright, little angel. Naveena will help you, I'm here, okay?" She doesn't move.

With a sudden turn, I lay Nora into Naveena's hands and she starts her work to help her. Nora releases a silent squeal as Naveena starts to clean the wound and get the bullet out, but her eyes tell me that the drugs start to release its effect. "I'll be here when you wake up again, little angel. I promise...", I tell her as her eyes flutter once more before she faints.

I'm not sure if it's the pain or the drugs, but I guess it's better that way. Naveena nods at me and I watch her doing her work while still smoking the opium. My eyes are glued to the wounded girl's face. I told Cassy not to bring her to me, didn't I? Nora did nothing wrong. All this just because I couldn't contain myself and attacked Henriette in my room.

Celeste's hand lies on my shoulder when I get up and take in my surroundings. Naveena picks up the unconscious girl after attaching the bandages. "I'll bring her in the main cave. She needs rest." I nod and turn around to see that the beasts captured Maria. Lyall is about to inspect the guns she had with her. Two other beasts hold her hands as she keeps on shouting into my direction. Until now I didn't pay attention but listening to her words...

"...let me go, I need to kill her. The offspring of the devil must die! She needs to die! Don't you see it? I need to end it. The offspring must die to end it! The devil deserves to suffer. I need to...", one of the beasts shut her down by punching her face. It doesn't keep her quiet for too long.

I look up to the moon, blowing the smoke into the dark clouds before I have to start to laugh. Ridiculous. Celeste backs up at my reaction and another deep draw of the opium gives me the illusion of control over my emotions. She wants to see the devil suffer, hm? These words sound so familiar, don't they?

"Oh, Maria!", I laugh out loud. "Of course...", I lick my lips. Lyall looks into my direction. "Butcher, the signs here...", he points at the carvings of the guns and I nod. I turn to Celeste for a moment. "You never saw me killing, right? How do you feel about changing that?"

Cassy takes a look at the beast that is held captive, shouting curses and spitting out threats. "I'd love to see that, darling.", she says coldly and my arm darts out to her throat. With some strength I drag her into the air, just leaving her toes the hope to still find some grip at the ground. "I told you not to drag Nora into our world! Why don't you ever listen to me, woman!", I yell at her and her hands grab my arm. I can nearly smell her fear as she pales.

Lyall is about to step in but I slowly lower her again, before rubbing my cheek against Celeste's. "Nora will need you when she wakes up. Make sure to be there.", I whisper before taking another draw of the opium. "Everything for you, darling.", Cassy replies, but I'm not sure if it's fear or devotion that makes her obey. Quite frankly, I don't care at all. I have another thing to clarify.

"Lyall?", I catch the beasts' leaders attention and he tears his eyes away from Celeste, to look into my face. Showing him my bloody hand with which I just helped Nora, I start to chuckle silently. I don't know why but I'm so excited about what comes next. The feelings within my chest are entangled in an explosive mixture I haven't felt for a long time.

"Every drop of blood, every single tear and every wave of pain will need to get repaid.", I take the last draw of the opium and it's obvious that it also has its effect on me. My senses are clear, but my eyesight is slightly different. I'd say the edges are sharper, but somewhere at the back of my head, I know that it's most likely quite the opposite. Anger. Hate. Fear. Excitement. The blood and energy are pushing and pumping through my veins screaming for release in any possible way.

"I will kill Maria and eat her soul. The question is: Will you try to stop me?", I smirk at him and before he can answer I shout out. "Is anybody here that want to fight me in order to rescue Maria?" Another chuckle leaving my throat as I start to make my way over to Lyall and Maria. My eyes are still fully flashed up and I don't even try to control it.

"Butcher, calm down.", Lyall says but then looks at Maria. "Actually, I'm also fed up with her attitude. I don't care when she attacks you, but a human just got hurt." He directs his words towards the crowd. "I vote for leaving her up to the butcher's mercy, but before that, we need to know what she knows.", he suggests and some nod. It's Etain who steps up with an angry growl.

"No! You can't do that! He is responsible for her state of mind!", she positions herself in front of Maria with a challenging look at me. I lick my lips. "Oh, the kitten wants to play, too." Her resistance alone makes some other beasts also step up and block my way.

https://youtu.be/0-7IHOXkiV8

"Nobody hurts my child and survives.", I dryly explain. "Not even I managed to do that. Are you sure you want to try your luck?", I try to warn them, but I like that they don't move. Oh, this is going to be better and better. Time to show them my true self. The beast inside.

"Ohhh Maria...", I drag out her name in a wicked singsong. The beasts in front of me are tensing up and taking a defensive stance. "Butcher, no matter what, before anybody lays a hand on Maria, I want to know where she has those guns from!", Lyall's mighty voice couldn't impress me less.

I crouch down, placing my bloody hand on the ground. I'm not backing down; I'm reducing the area where they can attack me. It didn't come to my mind before I saw some of the beasts do this out of comfort reasons. It's a stable position and helps to ground me as my head just started to spin slightly.

"I played by your rules. I did not hurt anybody that didn't deserve it, yet, Nora got shot, because the caretaker didn't take care, right? I'm done playing nice. This tribe is nothing else than the headquarters. Everywhere I step I find another snake trying to poison me.", I growl out angrily and look at Etain.

"Stop boasting, ferret. Just because they call you butcher, I'm not afraid of you.", she answers and the faded grin on my face starts to broaden again. She doesn't need to be afraid of me, but I know for sure that I taught Maria.

"Do you remember, Maria? The first time you called me butcher? Wasn't that a nice day in the dungeons? The nice beams of the sun shining through the little window, brightening up your husband's face?", directing my words at her instead of Etain. The cursing and threatening that was all over in the background the whole time stops and she freezes in the hands of the two beasts that hold her.

"You are not a butcher, you are a monster. You are the devil!", Maria only manages to breath out and the words are satisfying in my ears. "I maybe was not specific enough, when I told you about Maria's husband. Do you remember his smell, Maria?"

"Shut up!", she screams and starts to kick and tries to free herself. "Do you remember the taste of him, when I started to serve you his pieces? Don't look so disgusted, didn't you like the blood that dripped from the skin I cut out just to feed you? Don't blame the hunger I taught you. I remember you greedily licking it from my fingers. Every single drop that I gifted you..." I show her my fingers. "I remember you begging me to take you in any way I want, just that he will have a bit of time to recover. Hmmm.... Sweet memories.", I hum the last words.

Maria's body tenses up and she starts to cry like a little girl. "Do you like to hurt people, ferret? Do you like to see her suffer after you took everything from her?", Etain wants to know with clenched teeth. "That's a mistake, Etain. I didn't take it all, but I will. I'm not the one who tried to kill Tristan several times.", I lick my lips. "I'm not the one trying to kill a child just because she decided to like a demon. I need to stop this now."

"How do you feel, when people suffer because of you?", Lyall wants to know and I stand up again. That's a good question. "I don't." I shake my head as Henriette flashes up in my mind first, then it's Tristan's face. His smile always showed me so much warmth and mercy. I miss him and his calming scent. The way he cleared my mind just by looking at me, the way he calmed me and strengthened me... and now Nora got hurt. I'm a bad guard. I'm also a bad partner and a bad father. Who do I want to fool? I'm not made to have relationships like that. I'm a demon.

I hide my face. I'm just stoned. I shouldn't be that pathetic but I can't hold back. "There was only one person in my life I truly loved before and this was my son, but now...", I then continue. "I tried, Lyall. I tried hard, but it just means nothing without him. I always was a soldier with no cause.", I lower my hand gesturing around me just to see Lyall confused. My thoughts wandered to Tristan while I was talking. This is my answer. I don't deserve to be on Tristan's side, but he deserves that I keep on track and eliminate the threats. Take the blame and the shame. Tristan, are you proud if I only kill her? Are you proud when I keep calm?

I take a deep breath and look at the moon. I nearly forgot why I'm here. Tristan. At least he is safe.

"Now, I'm a soldier with a mission and if some of those beasts get in my way, I'll silence them.", I growl out. "Get yourself together or I'll teach you some respect!", Lyall growls back. "Ah, don't bother! I only want Maria. I demand a decisive fight for whom is allowed to keep on living. I will get the information out of her, but I'll show no mercy. If she manages to kill me also fine. Henriette showed me that I need to stop being afraid of death."

"I already said no!", Etain interrupts Lyall's and my staring. I don't know what Lyall is thinking. I'm not even sure what I just said but I can see him considering as well as most of the others. I guess I bend their rules to a point where even the most bloodthirsty beast can't decide if it's still my right. Lyall said I have no saying or vote, but do I also have no right to get my revenge or to die?

"Fight me, and we'll see.", I straight out my face, glaring into Etain's eyes. "If I defeat you, I'll get my revenge. If you defeat me, well... I guess you'll learn how often I'm willing to try and fight you or you'll need to kill me. I won't give in. Maria's fate is sealed and so is the guy's fate who figured it is a good idea to bring back the butcher."

Etain growls out angrily at my words and looks to Lyall desperately. "Lyall, I never asked for anything in this relationship, but I won't let him kill Maria. You know what she means to me. He is the one driving her mad. She doesn't deserve this! He is to blame!"

"I don't care. This is not about feelings or blame. She tried to kill a human child in these woods.", his arm cuts through the air. "She tried to kill in MY woods! You know that I would consider to execute her for it anyway. I deny the request that you fight Etain, butcher. She is not able to see clear." Lyall straightens out. "If you don't accept that, I will show you your place, Etain."

Etain growls at Lyall but doesn't back up, still defending Maria. "You know, I loved you once, but since that slut showed up you are ice cold. You know that Maria needs help and not punishment."

"At least his slut didn't hurt Nora.", I snort and both of them look at me. "I was silenced, not blindfolded." I lick my lips losing my patience. 

"I give you ten seconds before I will take things into my own hands." My eyes are still flashed up and all I can think of is that I want Maria's head.