Lyall comes to stand in front of me while another one of his men shoulders Maria and picks up the knife I lost during my fight with her. I would like to straight out, but I don't dare to move as his witty eyes observe my face while it starts to swell. Bruises are forming, I'm sure, but I try to concentrate on the face in front of me as he starts to speak.

"That was quite an interesting fight, I don't know how you are used to...", he keeps on talking but all I can hear is the rush of blood in my ears. "You will not....", it's very hard to concentrate but I follow the movements of his oddly formed lips. It still doesn't make any sense to me.

"...this means, we will...", and that's when I sink to my knees, not able to hold myself anymore. His lips stop to move but he narrows his eyes at me as a moan of pain finds it way out of my throat and I fall down with my face first. That's how it must feel like to die as a human.

I was not even able to slow down my fall with my arms but I'm not unconscious. I simply refuse to give in to it, but my options are rather little. Another painful grunt, when I try to place my arms next to me and get up again. How ridiculous that a warrior, like me, falls down into the dirt in front of someone who is about to tell him his further fate. I can feel the high from the spirits I took in; anger and energy of the fights and excitement about Tristan's love slowly drifting out of me; my crime against Maria starting to take its toll.

My shirt gets ripped up and I can feel someone pulling it away from my back. I won't give in. If I have learned one thing during the training with Sir Ronald, it's that it's only over when someone loses their head. Strong arms help me up before I can find a bit of grip on my feet again. My little victory doesn't last long as the shadows around my flickering and blurry vision turn upside down all of a sudden; equal to the feeling in my stomach. Then I start to move – but those are not my feet that make any progress. I growl out silently and mentally clench to the only thing that keeps me sane right now: Tristan's blood in me.

~~~~~~

When I make my way back to where we have been celebrating together I see Lester and Lloyd just standing hidden in the woods. They must have witnessed what just happened between Ethan and Tristan. Maybe they also already saw Ethan nearly killing that woman. I gulp and as soon as they catch sight of me, they hurry to catch up to me. "Ma'am, we just wanted to make sure you and Lord Blackwood are safe.", Lester informs me, but I don't answer. When we are close again to where we started to run I come to a halt, and my eyes search for Tristan from afar.

"Lester? Lloyd?", I ask and can't believe how weak my voice sounds. I really thought this would never affect me in any way but Tristan and Ethan indeed are in a romantic relationship. It's me who is between the two of them. I'll be the connection until Tristan forcefully brings Ethan back to London. My hands start to tremble and I'm not entirely sure why. If Lester and Lloyd really witnessed the same scenery I can talk about it with them, can I? Am I allowed to talk about it at all?

I close my eyes for a moment to collect my thoughts. At the end of the ceremony I was just mad with Ethan, but now? I still can't believe he killed Henriette. Both of them, including Tristan, made me believe she just left the headquarters. I liked her, she was not like me but I really hoped for her to become a close friend. I don't have too many friends, let alone female ones and it was really a strange feeling to start missing my banters with Ethan as he started his work as a council member.

I twitch as Lester and Lloyd suddenly wrap their arms around me, each one taking a side of me just to stabilize and keep me safe. I inhale sharply. "What are you doing?", I want to know. "We will protect you and Lord Blackwood.", Lloyd says calmly. "We will live up to the butcher's name." Lloyd adds: "Ethan Vinge will never die." I breathe out slowly and let them hold me for a moment.

When they see that I started to calm again both of them let go of me. I lift my chin. "Alright, but never touch me again, without permission. Our first priority is to bring Tristan back home safely." I realize that I sound far stronger now. Ethan picked them well as our guards.

With that we make our way to Tristan who is standing in front of a fireplace, just looking into it. The other guards eye him in confusion. He didn't bother to clean his chin or shirt, where Ethan's blood started to dry. If he is still bleeding from the mark that Ethan gave him it is hidden at his heavy jacket. He holds his hands at his back and does not even turn around when I start to give out orders.

"Guards! Everything is alright. Lyall's tribe took care of the runaway. You are allowed to keep on celebrating but leave alone the liquor. Feel free to drink the beer, though.", I take a look at Lester and Lloyd to my right and left. "Please leave us alone for a moment; I need to talk to Tristan." Both of them take a devoted bow. "Yes, Ma'am.", their answer unison, before mingling with the other guards. I can see them making sure to bring the others a bit further away from the two of us. Not what I ordered, but not a bad idea.

A breeze brings Tristan's scent into my nose and I have to admit it's a bit weird what I smell. Now that I know that he just drank from Ethan I am able to differ. I know that it's not the first time I smelled that on him. It's just a very volatile note that one would never be able to guess without background knowledge. Ethan once told me to remain vigilant no matter where I am and I think I finally understand what he tried to teach me. His nose isn't better per se, he just is better at connecting cause and impact.

"Tristan...?", I ask silently and his eyes slowly turn away from the fire to look at me. He has his eyebrows knitted first but then gives me a warm smile. "It's alright, Eve. Everything will be alright again.", he murmurs and lays his arm around my shoulder. "Ethan did not heal.", I start my attempt to fill him in but he just slightly shakes his head. "Yeah, I know. He tried to hide it but in the end, he told me that Erwin has some experiments going on with him."

"Before we got the acceptance letter from Lyall, I already had to stitch him up. Back then he said, he doesn't want me to tell you or Dr. Johnson, but I need to bring you to Dr. Johnson as soon as we are back in London.", I look up to him as he starts staring at me. "I appreciate your worry for me, but I would have wanted to talk to him anyway.", he sighs. "My little girl...", he squeezes my shoulder and I lean my head to him.

"I never thought Ethan has so many emotions. He's always so cold and distant when he's not angry.", I murmur and start to fidget with my fingers. Tristan frowns. "He fooled you. His problem is not that he has too little emotions. His problem is that he has too much of them to keep at bay. He's distant because that's easier to handle."

I look into his face puzzled. "Are we talking about the same guy?", I want to know and his face brightens up again as if he remembers something. "Trust me, there is a reason why I love him.", he then says and I can't prevent a blush. That he confesses something like that so casually in front of me. Yes, we fooled around several times and made bad jokes about Ethan and his affinity for him but real love? Even after what I just saw after their fight. "Are you sure he also loves you? His words have been a bit of a different kind.", I try to give Tristan an objective look at Ethan.

He smirks. "That's the thing with love, Eve. You can never be sure, but I hope so. He drives me crazy in so many ways, but I think that maybe is part of the deal. One day, when you find someone special to you, and I really hope you do, you will understand."

"You are special to me.", I tell him and he cups one of my cheeks before taking his hand back. "That's a different kind of love, but rest assured, that you are also special to me." I smile at him. My real father was a brute, but when Tristan found me, all I ever wanted was to hear that from him and that he'll take me with him. I'm still not sure how he found me back then though. He was just there.

The beasts come back slowly one after the other, emerging out of the shadows from the dense underbrush and the trees, while we still stand next to the fireplace in silence. The bright moon gets darkened by a few clouds that drift over the horizon as our guards all of a sudden stop their chitchatting and look at the row of trees. My eyes follow their looks and I know why they went silent. Lyall carries Ethan over his shoulder, while another beast is carrying the lifeless body of that woman who attacked Tristan in the first place.

I also can't stop watching the scene. Lyall's sheer appearance makes it look as if Ethan is the prey he just hunted down. They undressed his upper body and ripped off his bandages, I knew he was wearing. The piece of his back that is visible shows open wounds not really bleeding but also not really healed. The thread I used to close those scratch wounds seemed to have vanished.

I can feel Tristan tensing up next to me at the sight, but I know that there is nothing we can do. I'm seriously worried about the war threat Tristan spoke out. What if the beasts are just that kind of proud as Ethan is and they don't care at all? What if they decide that it maybe is the best to team up with the people who want to start a rumor instead of helping us out?

Lyall is in charge of Ethan now. No matter what they are about to do to him, Tristan won't like it. I can see two other beasts coming from the other side of the woods with big poles that they ram into the dirt right behind the platform we built up for the ceremony before. Lyall deposits Ethan roughly on the platform and I realize that the little groan I just heard came from Ethan. He is still awake, even though his head rolls to the side and shows me his swollen face. There is no way he can see something with that left eye at the moment.

Two of the beasts bind his wrists and feet together. Interestingly enough they also do that to the woman, before both of them get hoist up and their arms bound at the top of the pole. A stifled noise of pain can be heard from Ethan while the woman's head just rolls around in a cruel way, clearly showing the disconnection to her spine. I wonder how they expect her to heal this way but to my surprise, they then take a leather strap to hold her forehead in place.

I reach out for Tristan's hand and he takes it without any of the two of us looking away from Lyall who looks over the procedure. He turns around and inspects our guards. "As we have 'guests' today, I'll use this to explain something.", his voice is calm but strict; nearly like Tristan's but Lyall is more of speaking deeply out of his throat. "This tribe has rules. There are two who broke those rules tonight. First, this is Maria. She disgraced our tribe by attacking Tristan out of a hiding. It is not a crime to seek for revenge, but nobody will have a fight, without mine or Etain's permission.", he growls angrily. "This is why our newest member Ethan, the butcher hangs here too."

I can see my men being confused about what is going on. They try to figure what must have happened. Some of them look from Ethan's and Maria's wounded throat to Tristan and back. That's fine. Let them think that Tristan marked him or her or both. "He could have waited for my permission but instead he nearly killed another member.", Lyall goes on explaining. "This won't get tolerated."

Ethan is heavy breathing with the uncomfortable position having his arms bound up and his chin hangs down, the blood drooling out of his mouth. He manages to get his head up and his eyes flicker at a clear attempt to show pride. "Death must be earned and none of the two of them has been declared worthy tonight.", he builds up in front of his own people.

"Is there someone in this tribe who cares for one of these two vampires?", Lyall asks as if this was some sort of a ritual question he has to ask and Tristan is about to move, but Lyall shoots him a dangerous look that makes him stay put. "Nobody?", he asks once more and the beast woman who was standing at his side during the ceremony steps up. I think Tristan told me her name is Etain. "I care for Maria. I will do it."

A moment of silence passes by as Etain gets up to stand next to Maria. What is going on here? "Anybody else?", he asks once more and the girl who was right next to Ethan the moment he stepped down of this platform at the ceremony raises her hand and says a bit insecure. "I do."

Lyall nods at her. "Then get up here, Naveena. Just follow the steps as Etain does." Her movements are fluent and silent as she slips next to Ethan who releases a sigh. Etain bites her wrist and shoves it into the other woman's mouth. "With that, I promise to make sure you will be able to regain what you've lost.", she says officially and I can see Naveena hesitate. She takes another look at Lyall.

"Did you rethink your choice already?", he wants to know but Naveena shakes her head before also biting her wrist and shoving it into Ethan's mouth. I think I can see his eyes starting to gleam as he obviously starts to drink from her. "With this.... I promise.... Ouch...", she flinches but keeps on talking. "I promise to make sure... you will be able to regain, what you've lost." Tristan's hand squeezes mine and I can see his face darken even more. Naveena pulls back her still bleeding wrist from Ethan, who growls out about the sudden loss of his blood source.

I don't think that he really is master of his own senses at the moment. It more looks like he is fighting for his consciousness as much as for control of his body. His defined muscles are trembling and I'm not sure that he would be able to stand straight without the ropes. I can't believe it. What was Dr. Johnson thinking when he was doing this to him? There was a very high probability that he will get wounded during the days here, even if he wouldn't have been banned.

Ethan is his creator, doesn't he feel at least a bit responsible for his well being; leave alone the fact that he is a doctor. By now his wounds could have been healed to a bearable amount of pain. I really can't imagine taking it all like he does. Not a single tear of pain is rolling down his cheeks, only sweat, dirt, and blood stains all his appearance.

My eyes widen in shock when I realize what they are about to do to them now. Ethan also seems not too fond of it as he starts to fight back again. At least he tries to bite whatever comes close to him. It is then when Lyall shows some mercy and knocks him out. I can't believe what is going on in front of me. "Ethan...", I breathe out of shock.

*~*~*~*
I open my eyes and all I can see is a clear black sky with about thousands of shining stars looking back down on me. The grass under me smells earthy and there is nothing to hear but silence. The world around me is empty. There is no life left but me. That's not exactly true. I don't feel alive. I haven't felt alive for a hundred years. That's also not true. I felt alive with him. I would like to get up, look around, find someone but I'm stuck to the ground and can't move. Tristan. Now I start to be afraid.

Anxiety.

Panic.

What happened to him? Why can't I remember? I'm supposed to protect him, but I don't know where he is, where I lost him. My chest is heaving up and down fast and I have the feeling I can't breathe.

I try to get up again, but there are hands coming from behind me, holding me back, dragging me deeper into the earth until I can't breathe at all anymore. "You are done here.", a female voice whispers in my ear and the ground turns into mud. Red mud and I sink in. Clenching to the next best thing to not drown I finally can look around and see corpses, limbs, bones and the mud is red of their blood. It is soaked and I drown in it.

The stars are still shining but seem to blame me as they get dark one after the other. "Do you feel the pain?", the voice asks. Yes, I do. They are dying. I am to blame and my heart aches equally as the arms around me start to drag me deeper into the silence. There is nothing coming out of my throat when I try to scream. No noise can fill the silence and darkness. I'm lost and alone in the cold emptiness. Nothing's left.

Who am I?