I hum at her answer. I could dig deeper now and maybe get some more confusing answers, but I actually don't care too much about it. I wasn't able to protect her but I got another shot to keep my promise.

Maybe I am finally allowed to find the one thing I long for hundreds of years; salvation. I really want to believe that she is my chance. How more obvious could it be? There is an innocent girl, with some kind of never-ending trust in me; and without knowing a thing about me and my past. What to do? It can't be. Can it?

"Why are you still here, little lady?" I ask her instead and she looks puzzled but doesn't answer.

"Answer me. Why are you still around?" I growl a bit grumpy and she flinches.

"I... I am..." she presses her hands in her lap looking to the ground. This again. I thought we are over that. I sigh before I stump out the cigarette and get up.

"Come here," I point in front of me and she also gets up to come to stand in front of me.

"Look at me," she raises her head until her eyes finally meet mine. "Henriette, you owe me nothing and there is no need to be around me. So, I'll ask you once more now, why are you still here?" keeping my tone calm and cold. In the corner of her eyes, tears start to form. Oh no, not that again, I also thought we are over THAT. My eye twitches.

"Mister Vinge, may I speak openly?" she finally asks silently.

"What is the purpose of me asking you, if I wouldn't want you to do that?" I straighten out and she blinks a few times obviously trying to not start crying.

"I... I like to be... around you, Mister Vinge," she starts and her voice cracks and she can't stand my gaze anymore, looking back to the ground. "You lost half of your hand and nearly your life because I was acting stupid,..." now the tears start to run down her cheeks silently, "You stole my first kiss and... and..." she adds so silently that I nearly can't hear her, before pressing her hand against her mouth and nose.

Oh, I did? I guess she means while I was trying to drug her. I'm not sure that this counts as a kiss, but I actually didn't think any further about it. When did people become so picky about such things?

"That still doesn't explain anything. I can ensure you that it was out of necessity and in fact, you've been the one to come to my room after I asked you to. What if I wouldn't have bitten you but tried other things? You can't be so stupid to not know what it means when a man invites you to his room."

The crying continues and I think she isn't able to talk as she tries to get enough air to breathe. "You should have trusted your colleagues and what they say about me. I'm not a good man," I keep on talking. I expected her to finally leave the room and get away from me, but she still stands there.

She already got in trouble because of me; I won't let that happen again. It's not safe for a human to be around me. I already gave in to Tristan, but at least I can be sure that he knows how to defend himself if needed. The closer you let
people come to you, the more exposed you are; the more attackable you are.

She moves forward pressing her face against my chest and nearly squeezing my upper body. I tense up. What the hell is she doing?

"I've seen... your nightmares, Mister Vinge. Every night I was here..." she sobs. "There was so much blood... all over you..."

I can't understand everything she says but I guess she is talking about the fight in front of the carriage now. I sigh before I put my arms around her.

"I know, little lady, I know," I can't get myself to push her away. I hate myself for my weakness.

In the end, I'm still responsible for her and that she doesn't start to tell people about my little outtake on her collarbone; especially because I told Tristan to not fix things for me anymore.

Her hair smells good. I need to be clear with myself why I do this. I do this because she still is a threat; one that I need to stay in control of. That's what I need to keep telling myself.

"Mister Vinge?" she says after a while, which she needed to calm and I look down at her. "Mister Vinge, before that..." she moves a bit away to take my wounded hand and hold it as if it's fragile. I pull it back and move away to get another cigarette.

"Don't worry about the hand, it will grow back," I tell her while lightning the cigarette and her eyes widen.

"It will grow back?" she asks in disbelief and I nod.

"You've seen me with a bolt in my head and you are surprised about that?"

It became rather rare that one of us really loses a body part so there are very little people knowing about that.

"That's why you are not mad at me..." she nearly asks but it turns out as a statement.

"Henriette," I remind her that she wanted to say something as she grows silent, sunken in thoughts.

"I... I need to tell you something. About my brother..." she starts and I roll my eyes. Oh please don't, I don't want to know her story about the orphanage.

"Don't. I know already," and she nods hesitantly. "Go and get me another bottle of blood instead," I command her while turning around to look out of the window. I hear the obeying 'Yes, Sir' before she finally leaves to be of use.

It doesn't take a moment longer for me to reach out to open the window and to support myself on the window bench with both arms. Hell, she still smells so good. Erwin was totally right with his words. I need more blood and it's not good for her to be around me. I thought I need answers most, but that's not true.

My whole body still aches and I leave the window open before I go back to lie in the bed and fall into a restless sleep nearly instantly.

***

"This is him! This was the boy I saw, you should chop off one of his hands!" the shopkeeper yells at the guard of the castle. I try to fight the man whose grip and arms must be made of iron.

I don't want to get anything chopped off! "This little bastard was able to cause so much damage?" the guard wants to know.

"Yes, Sir! I demand..." he starts but gets cut off by the guard.

"There is nothing you are allowed to demand! I will take care of this one and you should take your goods off the ground soon or everything left will be smashed," he says and stomps on one of the apples with his big boots. He drags me away at my arm, while I still try to escape.

This time I really messed up, but I'm so hungry and winter isn't exactly the best time to find something to eat. Unfortunately, I knocked over two of the three shelves that were built up. Usually, I am able to use the fact that I'm little to be very precise at running away, but somehow I started to grow very fast the last few weeks and everything feels out of place.

"Where are your parents, little street rat?" the guard in the heavy chainmail armor asks but all I give him is a bad glare. As if he'd care. Nobody cares.

"That's fine, too. I'll show you what it means to deal with consequences," a dirty grin on his face. I can only see his profile from the bottom, his crooked nose and the stubbly beard giving him a wild appearance. I don't think I'll be able to run from him and whatever he has in mind is nothing good for me.

As realization dawns on me, that he might hurt me pretty badly, if not end my life, I try to even bite him to get away. I do not want to start to cry but it's hard.

I don't want to get hurt again. The wipe last time I got caught was already hurting so much; I don't want to know what this soldier is capable of. How to get out of this? At some point, he gets sick of my resistance and the blunt end of his swords handle hits my face before the world around me gets dunked in black.

***

When I open my eyes the sun has risen and the heavy curtains are preventing it from coming to kiss my skin and turn me into ash. Henry is sitting on one of the chairs, sewing something with the candle lit next to her. There are also two bottles on the table.

I guess she did what I ordered and found me asleep. Somehow I don't know how late it is but before I move I enjoy to just looking at her, as the needle is moving up and down in a steady rhythm and her face is concentrated on the piece of black cloth in front of her. Tristan was also right. It was good that he sent her with me.

As if she sensed my gaze she looks at me and nods her head. "Mister Vinge, how do you feel?" she asks politely before doing a final move with the needle and lay it down on the table.

"Hungry," I answer honestly and sit up. At least I'm fully dressed.

"Doctor Johnson advised me to bring more bottles. Would you want me to pour a glass in for you?" I don't answer but take one of the bottles to repeat what I already did in Tristan's room; I gulp it down. I can Henry see silently watching me.

"Didn't Doctor Johnson also advise you to leave me alone again?" I ask sarcastically but see her lowering her head. So he did.

"He's a good man, quirky and odd, but a good one. Listen to him."

"Is that an order, Sir?" she asks and I look at her. I know where this is coming from.

"I heard you also made friends with Eve, didn't you?"

She smiles. "Lady Blackwood is a very kind but also strong and beautiful woman."

That's what I guessed. "She is also well trained and can take care of herself. Not to talk about that she always has Lord Blackwood in her back. Don't forget that when you start to use some of her ways to think," I tell her and she looks at me confused. I just can't help myself but needed to warn her. I haven't seen a lot of women being able to get the same social status as Eve did with all her attitude. I have to grin when I remember her first meeting with me. She was still a human back then and I thought Tristan finally found a bride. Figuring what just happened lately I couldn't have been more wrong, I guess.

"It's good to see you smile..." Henry starts but then simply apologizes when I stare at her.

"Henriette, I want you to leave now," I straighten out. Her heart rate increases and the hazel eyes stare at me even more confused. My eyes start to gleam and I can't control it.

"I'm sorry! I'll never talk back again!" she tries but I cut her off.

"You just did it again, so do what I command and leave," growling out angrily. She still doesn't move and I show her my fangs. "Now!"

Hurrying away she even forgot to take her sewing work with her. I run my fingers through my hair to get rid of the voice in my mind.

The one that tells me, that her blood is sweet and that she has enough of it. She'd enjoy, when I take advantage of her, she would never tell anybody, when I kiss her the way she wants me to. She'd enjoy if I act like I'd hold any other feelings than the hunger for her. I promised to not touch her again and I stand to my word.

I take the other bottle and start drinking. Get yourself together, Ethan! It wouldn't be right and she would be hurt for sure, if not killed. I raise the bottle to the ceiling. "Here's to the test! Are you happy?"

After getting dressed properly and doing my hair and washing routine I finally feel like a civilized vampire again. I

even exchanged the bandage around my wounded hand. The piece Henriette was working on turns out to be a glove, but only to cover three fingers – the three fingers I am currently missing.

She sewed it in a way that it looks like as if my hand is fully intact. It reminds me of those gloves the nobles were wearing to not hurt their fine fingers while going on a hunt with a bow and arrow. It looks far better than just the bandage, so I decide to wear it before getting back to work.

Trying to rebuild everything in my mind I have to think for a while how I would like to drive the investigations further. The woman called Charlotte doesn't want to leave my mind, even though I don't even know her face - or maybe because I don't know. At least I have a lead, kind of...

Tristan keeps on telling me that I am the best guy for this, but I'm actually not so sure anymore. I need to start with my recruits.

When I arrive at the training room, I am glad to see some of them seriously trying to get better with their techniques. Drilling them to not only trust their vampire instincts but to work on their abilities is one of the most important parts of my job. Seeing it working out when I'm not around for a longer period gives me a feeling of having it done right.

I slip in nearly unnoticed and let the atmosphere of brotherhood sink in. It's not uncommon that they help each other with getting better, but as the first in line, they never saw me as one of theirs. I don't mind, but right now I miss the days where I was fighting next to vampires that unknowingly taught me so much. That's over – they are dead.

I'm an instructor and teacher, not a member. I'm the one guy, they all hate on the same level, and this unites them. I'm the necessary evil.

I straight out before starting with the first round of asking questions about Charlotte, the woman, that seems to have seduced Warlow; and the Caribbean Islands. One after the other I try to squeeze out some answers.

To more of them I speak, the clearer it gets that she really was able to hide very well. Even Sven was only telling me what he heard from his wife. It's tiring and frustrating to ask the same questions again and again and not getting the slightest hint.

At some point, everyone gets that this also means a lady was able to slip through all our systems and that neither Tristan nor I have a clue about her. As the recruits come and go I keep on questioning and try to find the needle in the haystack.

From the corner of my eyes, I catch a young recruit who didn't move for a while now but grins and waits, watching me getting from one to the next. I have to admit, that I'm not in the best mood, but something about this guy's grin bothers me even more. Let's find out what he has to say.

"Recruit, one word," I say as I wave to come to me. The grin just gets dirtier but he does as I command.

"Sure, Mister Vinge, what is it? Troubles with a lady?" he tries to be funny but I can't laugh about that, and he should know.

"Do you know a lady who came here from the Caribbean Islands?" I want to know and he nods.

"Does she have brown locks?" I want to know and he keeps on grinning and nods once more. "What's her name?" getting slightly angry at the guy who doesn't intend to give me more information without me pulling it out of his nose.

"I think she calls herself Candy, but Mister Vinge, please make sure to stay safe when you travel to the brothel" he starts to laugh out loud.

Did he just make a joke of my wounds and the investigation? Did he just make a joke out of me? It's my turn to grin.

Alright, he maybe is one of the younger ones, but this is totally unacceptable. I straighten out.

"Joe was the name, right? Well, Joe, did I ever show how to measure the perfect length of a sword for your size? I think it's been a while," I release a loud whistle to make the others in the room aware of my presence and announcement.

"As most of you most probably already heard, I recently lost a piece of my hand," I take off the glove and raise my arm so the recruits can see it.

"To cause a wound like that you need to know what kind of sword or knife length suits you best. Please go to the weapon rack and choose one, Joe. Let's make sure everybody learns from my misery, right?" I give him a cold smile and he seems full of confidence as he picks a sharp troopers sword instead of one of the blunted training swords. Good.

I take it from him and do as if I inspect it before also raising it for everybody to see. "So, now we need to make sure it is balanced. Joe, please reach out your arm so that I can show everybody," he looks at me for a moment but then reaches out his arm.

"Like that?" he wants to know and I nod. Holding the handle of the sword tight I show it once more to the recruits. "There is this one most important thing..."

I make a fast and hard swing in the direction where the recruit is showing me his arm. In the last moment, Joe realizes what is happening and tries to move away. The result is, that his arm is still in place but his hand is falling to the ground, right before he sinks to his knees staring at his stump.

I use the silence that fall over the training room to finish my lection. "The most important thing is to use what you are given to turn the odds to your favor. Most fights are not fair. Surviving is your first priority. Trading in a part of your body is just a little tribute to do so."

Wiping off the splattered blood on my face I add. "Is anybody else up to poking fun at me?" I say silently but then shout out loud.

"If you bastards think that I got weak because of my new position you may speak up now and we'll handle it," nobody is moving as Joe finally gets out of his shock and starts to whimper while holding his arm. I'm really fed up with their careless attitude.

Joe starts crying and repeats the words 'my hand' as he can't decide if he wants to look at the hand on the ground or the wound in front of him.

None of the people in the room say something so I go and pick up Joe's hand. Eve must have arrived during my demonstration or maybe even before that. With a grim expression on my face, I give her the hand of Joe and she looks at it in disgust.

"Your recruits become defiant," I tell her before leaving the room.