I want you

{word count: 1093}

" Serene what are you doing?" He was confused, she could see it in his eyes. " I need to speak with you." She said taking his hand and pulling him aside, out of sight. " I need to stay with Sigurd." She felt his grip loosen, his eyes search hers for anything.

" W-what." His voice was shaky, making Serene's heart churn. She hated this, hated herself for the pain she's caused him. Though it was all necessary, but she had often wondered what would have happened if she had never went to bed with him.

Uthred would probably be dead and he'd hate her knowing she had something to do with it, so she knew this was necessary. Hurting him. But oh, how it hurt her.

" I cannot leave my brother for a man I barely know." Finan nodded though tears welded up in his eyes, he understood but it hurt like hell.

His hands cup her face, he pulled her forward bringing her into a kiss. It was gentle full of passion and longing. The kind of kiss that the rest of the world melts away. For just a moment their minds were fully on each other, no more war, fear, doubt it all disappeared in the heat of their embrace.

When they broke away, Finan rested his forehead on hers, as the both take deep and unsteady breaths. " I understand." He whispered, his Irish accent was thick with emotion.

Serene stepped back, placing her hands on his chest. She could feel his heart beat wildly beneath her palm. She didn't know what to say. Her eyes searched his looking for any hint of anger or spite, but all she found was a sad acceptance.

" Thank you for understanding." She whispered her voice barely audible. Finan's thumb brushed against her cheek, catching the tear that fell from her eye. He gave her a soft smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes.

She smiled back, her lips met his cheek. " You are a good man Finan." He pushed a strain of hair behind her ear, and without saying a word he walked away. Tears streaming down both of their faces as they walk away from each other.

*•*•*•*

The next morning Serene woke up sick, her heart churning at the thought of the look on Finan's face the night before. She needed to talk to someone, she needed comfort and now she couldn't go to Finan. She quickly got dressed and braided her hair and made her way through the bustling camp searching for someone. Her eyes met Osferth, who offered her a warm smile.

With her stomach in knots she approached him. " Osferth, how are you?" She felt close to him, there was something about him that made her feel protective of him. " I am well lady, you?" She nodded, though he saw right through her.

" I just came from Finan's room, I know you are not well." She sighed and looked at the muddy ground as if it was the most interesting thing in this fort.

" can we talk?" She asked and Osferth nodded immediately. They left the noisy camp and ventured into the quiet woods nearby. The crunch of their boots the only sound that filled the silence.

" I don't know what to do." Serene finally spoke up, her voice tight with unshed tears. " I love Sigurd, he's my brother. And yet, I want to say with Finan."

Osferth looked at her, his eyes kind and understanding. " Love is a complicated beast, my lady. It often leads us to make choices we never thought we'd face."

Serene nodded, her eyes brimming with tears. " I know but I can't leave Sigurd. He's the only family I have." She paused, her feet halting as they reach a pond. She turned towards the monk, her tears falling. " But Finan, he's... he's becoming so much more to me." Her gaze following a leaf that danced in the breeze before landing on the water's surface.

Osferths face softened. " You would have to leave and start a family eventually, why not now Lady?" He paused, letting her think on it. The monk picked up a pebble and tossed it into the still water, watching the ripples spread. She realized he was right, although she would hate leaving Sigurd alone she needed to start her own life.

She had been with him her whole life, surely he would understand. She smiled and pulled the monk into a hug, which surprised the both of them. Serene's eyes widened but she didn't let go.

*•*•*•*

As they made their way back to the fort, the weight of her decision faded away. Her steps grew lighter, and she felt a glimmer of hope for the first time in awhile. The gates open for them and her eyes met Finan, his strong figure a beacon in the chaos of the courtyard. She could feel her heart pounding against her chest, a smile swept over her face as Finan turned towards her.

She ran forward jumping in his arms, he stumbled backwards but held his footing. " Finan I've made a mistake." She whispered in his ear, holding onto him tightly. He looked at Osferth who stood a few feet from them with confusion but the monk just smiled.

" what do you mean?" He asked, his eyes held hope but his face was confused. His arms tightened around her waist, his eyes searching hers.

" I want you." Serenes voice was a soft whisper that seemed to carry through the wind, reaching into the deepest part of Finan's soul. " I want to be with you, not just for now, but forever. I want to start a life together, to build a family."

Finan's eyes searched hers, looking for the truth behind her words. For a moment, the whole world stopped as the realization of what she was saying dawned on him. He felt his heart swell with hope and love, emotions he had never fully allowed himself to feel this way before.

He gently set her down and took a step back, holding her hand in his own. " Serene are you certain of this?" His voice thick with a mix of disbelief and joy. She nodded her eyes never leaving his.

" more certain than I've ever been." She said, her smile unwavering. Finan felt his heart soar as he leaned down to kiss her, the warmth of her embrace washing over him like a long awaited summer rain.

AUTHORS NOTE:
Finally a full chapter update!!
Sooo what do we think?