❝ Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are. ❞ —Markus Zusak

Having studied at Hogwarts for about four months now didn't mean I had grown used to how large the castle actually was. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact it contained a thousand students, so seeing the grounds this deserted now that winter break was here, felt surreal.

Right now, my friends and I were in the Quidditch pitch. It was nice to have the pitch entirely to ourselves now that the majority of our teammates weren't here. Especially with Stanley not around to bark orders at us up and down.

Only I wasn't flying, but sitting at the benches with Sibi, Christine, her younger sister, Stella, and Maddie Simmons. Mike and Akker were out on the pitch, racing each-other on their brooms. Christine played wizard chess with Maddie.

"Knight to E5. Checkmate." She gave a triumphant smirk.

Maddie let out a sigh. "Seriously?" she groaned. "You could've let me win this time. You have won three times in a row."

Christine shrugged. "So?"

Sibi let out a laugh. She turned to Stella, who was munching on some Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans.

"Stella, don't grow up to be a brat like your older sister," Sibi told her humorously. Christine punched her in the arm.

In the distance, Mike almost knocked Akker off his broom as they raced shoulder to shoulder.

"Careful out there, you two!" Sibi yelled out.

"Don't worry, babe, everything's good!" Akker yelled back.

Maddie chuckled softly. "He's been fancying you for a while, you know," she told Sibi. "Since the beginning of fourth year. He was planning to ask you to the Christmas party last year, but then Alex did." She turned to Christine. "Remember when him and Akker went through that period that they couldn't stand each other? That's why."

"Ugh." Christine rolled her eyes. "Straight people give me a headache."

   Maddie laughed, a hint of discomfort in her expression. Her blue eyes studied Christine for a moment, who was too busy asking her sister for some jelly beans to notice. When the Hufflepuff finally dropped her gaze, a hint of blush rose to her cheeks.

Sibi buried her face in both hands. "Please don't remind me," she groaned. "I mean, I turned him down, of course. I thought of Alex as a git back then. He even proceeded to ask me out to The Three Broomsticks a month later. Then I made it clear I wanted him to leave me alone, so he went on to date Rosalinda. I didn't know Akker's fancied me for so long. He should've said so sooner."

My cheeks started to burn. I looked down at my knees. It was silly to be jealous of the fact Alex used to have a crush on Sibi. For one, it was not shocking—I mean, who didn't like her? Besides, she hadn't been interested in him back, so it didn't matter. But at the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder whether he'd even as much as glance twice at me if she had been.

As if then realizing I was just awkwardly sitting there, Sibi turned to me with an almost apologetic look.

"Now you know why I wasn't the most fond of Alex at first," she told me. "But he's been acting differently ever since you came. I've got to admit, you guys are cute."

I gave a small smile.

"I always thought you were too harsh on Lexi, Sibi," Stella said. She spat out a flavored bean with a disgusted look on her face. "Boogers. I mean, you're right, he can come across as a git sometimes, but it's all just for show. He's my brother and I know he's got a heart of gold. You're in good hands, Polly."

I let out a laugh. "Where is he, by the way? Haven't seen him the whole day.

Christine shrugged. "Don't worry about him. He'll show up."

I frowned. Alex was always with us. It was nearly four p.m., and I hadn't seen him the whole day.

My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden noise like the pop of a flashbulb. I turned my head in the direction of the sound. A mass of long, dark hair fluttered behind a tree some feet away from us. Someone was taking pictures.

"Did you guys hear that?" I whispered.

Everyone turned their heads towards the tree. The long-haired stranger who had been standing there just seconds ago was gone. I blinked.

"Hear what?" Sibi asked, turning to me.

"That sound. The one a camera makes when somebody is taking pictures. I'm sure there's a person out there, taking photos of us."

"You're being paranoid, Polly," Maddie said softly. Her eyes lingered on the spot behind the tree for a few seconds before she turned around and closed her chess board.

"I'm sure there was someone there," I insisted.

   "Taking pictures? Of us?" She raised an elegant, disbelieving eyebrow. "Why would anyone do that?"

"I don't know, I—"

I bit my lower lip. Everyone's eyes were trained on me like I wasn't right in the head. How come no one had heard the sound? Was I really only being paranoid? I felt stupid. Maddie was right, why would someone even want to take pictures of us?

I let out a sigh and stood up, refusing to meet anyone's gaze.

"I'll go find Alex," I mumbled. Before someone could speak, I walked away and left the Quidditch pitch.

It took me a while to find him. Before entering the castle, I decided to have a look around the Hogwarts grounds to see if he was in the courtyard or perhaps having a walk by the lake. I found him sitting on the shade of the huge willow tree near the Black Lake, behind some bushes that partially obscured him from sight. It was surprising to be seeing him there, since that was the spot I usually came with Sibi and Mike, or simply when I wanted to be alone and meditate. I had no idea he came here as well.

He had used a spell to make the snow melt around the spot he was sitting on. As I made my way toward him, a faint sound of music reached my ears. I walked up to him and saw that he was playing the guitar. A journal was resting on his lap and his brows were furrowed in concentration.

"Hey," I said.

Alex looked up at me and I smiled. I expected him to return the gesture brightly, or flash one of his typical smirks, followed by a playful comment. He only gave a meek smile back and strummed a hand over the guitar strings again. I took a seat next to him on the ground. The grass was cold.

"I didn't know you could play," I said. He didn't look up or respond, almost as if I wasn't even there. Instead, he scribbled something down on his notebook with his free hand. "I see you'd like some alone time then. Alright, I'm leaving. We're in the Quidditch pitch if you want to come by later."

I stood up to leave, but I hadn't even taken a step back when Alex grabbed my wrist. I turned, surprised. His grey eyes were round as he looked up at me, almost in a pleading way. He didn't say anything and neither did I, but I sat down again and waited for him to speak. A bird swooped from the sky and came to rest on surface of the Black Lake, which had a thin layer of ice on it.

"My brother's getting married," he said. There was no hint of a smile on his face as he said that, so I didn't know if congratulating him was the appropriate thing to do. "He told me he'd come home from Christmas, you know. The only reason I was looking forward to going home. But he decided he wanted to prepare for the wedding, which will now be next month. Then he's moving to Berlin with his fiancee. They've been long distance for the past two years, but I thought she was the one moving back here after they got married, not the other way around."

He paused, strummed his fingers on the guitar, then picked up a pebble and threw it at the lake. The bird flew off.

"Don't know if I ever mentioned it," he continued. "But his fiancee is Sibi's older sister, Victoria. They started dating their seventh year here. Then she interned as a journalist for a German newspaper and landed herself a job there."

My mouth fell open. "I didn't know that," I said. "Sibi's never mentioned it."

Alex scoffed. "Of course she wouldn't. My family's all sorts of fucked up. She's probably embarrassed at just the prospect of us being her in-laws. Roger has always been the only thing worth going back home for, and now he's moving out. I have no reason to ever step foot in that place again anymore."

I didn't respond for a moment. There were many questions I had, many concerns I wasn't even aware existed in his life up till this point, but I didn't know the proper way to go about asking them.

"Why don't you stay with Stella and Christine?"

He shook his head and let out a rueful laugh. He put his guitar aside, grabbed his journal and starting scratching something with his quill so aggressively he probably made holes on the page.

"You don't understand," he mumbled and continued to shake his head. "Nobody fucking understands."

My heart dropped and I bit my lower lip. I'd never seen him like this before. "You could help me understand."

He looked at me, his expression unreadable. "You know, I'd do anything to take Christi and Ella and run away. Especially now."

I nodded. He reached for my hand and began to trace circles on the back of it with his thumb. "Listen, I've thought about this before you came and professor McBon encouraged you to form the organization. Of course I want everything to work out and the Ministry to change their system once and for all. But realistically speaking, the officials have every chance of coming next month and there needs to be an escape plan. So I might actually do it."

"Do what?" I asked.

"Take Ella and run away. Hide her somewhere safe. I want you to come with us as well."

I shook my head and pulled my hand from his hold.

"I can't, Alex," I said. "I won't run away like my father did. He was scared but he was also younger and unprepared, so I don't blame him. But I can't. I-I need to end this madness."

"You're brave, Polly," he said and finally smiled at me. "I'm so lucky I met you. But I'm trying to be realistic, and I don't want to see either you or Ella behind bars."

"You won't," I said. "But no matter what happens, I'm not going to back out or run away. There's nowhere to run. Not for me."

He nodded vacantly. There was another short moment of silence. Alex picked up his guitar again and ran his fingers over the strings.

"I'm writing you a song," he said. "It's still a work in progress, but I'll play it to you when I'm done."

My heart flipped to my stomach and I looked at him. "I really don't understand why you've done so much for me, Alex. I feel like I haven't . . . reciprocated it to the same extent. I almost feel guilty."

A smile rose to his lips. "There's nothing to feel guilty about. I've done what I've done to show you I love you."

"But . . . why?"

He cocked his head to the side and arched an eyebrow in amusement. "Why do I love you?"

I could feel myself blushing. "I mean, I—I've never done anything groundbreaking. I'm just . . . well, me. Still trying to sort out who 'me' even is, honestly."

Alex laughed softly and then cupped my chin and leaned forward to kiss me. I melted.

"I'm still trying to sort out the same thing, don't worry," he whispered, the words forming against my lips. "But you're helping me a great deal and for that, I love you."

I wanted to reply that I had no clue in what way I was helping, but decided not to. Instead, I smiled and pulled back to run a hand gently through his rich chestnut locks. "Well, I'm glad about that. Very glad."

◈

made a polex playlist check it out :,))