Hidden Powers

[NaLu Fanfiction]

By: JeRein_14

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Chapter 15: Natsu's Resolve

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Natsu's POV

  It's been a month and a half since i last saw her. It's been that long since she left the guild without consulting anyone but Master. She left without a trace nor clues. It's like she vanished..

  It's only been a week since i started to open up to the guild again. For more than a month, i locked myself in my house. I wanted to be alone and think. I was beyond depressed. Guilt had completely consumed me. The scene at the lake happened almost three weeks ago. After that, Ice Princess and Erza never stopped annoying me. They would come to my house, uninvited if i may add, and tried to convince me to at least visit the guild. I was stubborn at first, snapping at them and telling them to leave me alone. That i need some more time to think.

  They would give me the space i needed but would come back the next day. I'm actually touched with the concern they are showing me but i don't need their pity right now. All I want is Lucy. My Lucy. She's the only one who can bring the old Natsu back.. Back then, when Gajeel told me that Lucy's inlove with me, i realized that i had messed up big time. That i had commited the biggest mistake in my life..

Breaking my mate's heart..

  When i first met her, i knew for a fact that's special. That she'll play an important role on my life. I just didn't realize that i'll be this attached to her. She's always been my light, my strength. Out of everyone, i feel the most protective over her. She comforts me in a way others can't whenever i'm sad. She inspires and supports me most out of everyone. And most importantly, she believes and trusts me. I don't know when or how, but i knew i was starting to fall inlove with her. The way i get easily get jealous when other guys come near her and how many times i catch myself thinking of her is more than enough proof i needed. She's my potential mate. And because of that, i got scared..

  I feel something for her that shouldn't be felt, especially since we're bestfriends. I had crossed the line. That's why i'm worried. Once she learned that she's my possible mate, she'll feel obligated to return my affections. She knew that we, dragonslayers, mate for life. Once we meet our other half, that's that. We won't love someone else. And what's worse, if we get rejected, we'll spend the rest of our life alone. And knowing Lucy, she won't let that happen. She's too nice for her own good.

  I never made a move on her. Aside from the whole-mates-thing, i don't want things to get awkward between us. I don't want us to change. As much as i want to kiss her so badly, i can't. I need to stop myself. She's too important to me. I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her. It will kill me..

  I don't know what came over me when i ignored her. When Lisanna returned, i felt something inside of me stir. Truth is, i used to like her. I had developed a small crush on her way back. But due to some circumstances, those feelings were long forgotten. I had moved on. But seeing her alive and breathing, my feelings for her suddenly came flooding in. I stayed by Lisanna's side to confirm these feelings. At first, i thought it was developing into love, but i was wrong. It turned out to be siblings love after all. I had enjoyed my time with her that i failed to notice that i was slowly drifting away from Lucy. I was selfish. I was too engrossed of worrying that i'll cause Lucy pain. And in the end, i had hurt her far more worse than i thought. I don't deserve to love her anymore.

  With the help of Ice Princess, Erza and Happy's constant begging and lecturing, i finally decided to show up at the guild. At first, i thought they would be mad at me. I thought they blame me for making Lucy leave. But i was dead wrong. The moment i stepped inside Fairy Tail, i was tackled by hugs and tears. Lisanna, Romeo, and Wendy declaired that it was them who had missed me most. During the cries and sniffles, Master had ordered me to come to his office. He said that he wanted to talk to me in private. I knew what was coming. I had a clue on what's  bothering him. I can still remember our conversation from way back then.

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Flashback

  "We're glad to have you back, my boy." He started once i got seated on the vacant chair located infront if his table.

  "I'm glad to be back too, Gramps." Flashing him a weak grin, i gripped the arm of the chair im currently sitting on.

  "So.. I believe you finally got over your depression?"

  "I'm afraid not, Master. She's too special to me. I can't let her go that easily."

  "Then what are you planning to do, Natsu?"

  "What do you think? I'm gonna look for her and bring her back." From where i sit, i saw Master sigh. I can't tell if it was due to irritation or if he was mad. He wrinkled his nose and massaged his temple.

  "Natsu.."

  "I'm gonna look for her, Gramps! I'll search every inch of Fiore just to find her. I don't care how long it'll take. I'm gonna bring her ba-" my speech was cut off when Master slammed his hands on the table. Shocked, i looked at him with a startled expression. He had on a look of rage. He's mad. Why?

  "Natsu! I will not allow you do such thing! You will not look for her! And that's final!"

  "What do you mean by that?! Do you not want her here anymore, Master?!"

  "Of course, i do! I want her back as much as you do! But we can't be selfish about this!"

  "Selfish?! How are we selfish?! This is her family! This is where she belongs! The only reason why she left is because of what we did! We can bring-"

  "Do you not get it, Natsu? Lucy left on her free will. She left willingly. She decided on her own. It was her decision! The least we, you can do is respect that decision. Trust her! Believe in her the way she believes in you! She will come back once she's ready."

  "I don't care! I want her back! I want my Lucy back! I don't want her to leave me, Gramps! Like the way Igneel left me! She's the only one i have left. I need her!" Through my glassy vision, i saw how Master's shoulder tensed. It's probably because of how desperate i sound or was it because i was crying?

  "Natsu, i want you to answer me honestly. What is Lucy to you?" It was my turn to flinch at his question. I should have expected this question from the start. With a shaky sigh, i looked away from him.

  "She's everything to me. I love her. Everything about her! I love her scent, voice, hair, nose, especially her smile! I hate it when she cries! I get jealous when other guys get close to her. I get out of control everytime she gets hurt! She's my strength! My rock! I love her so damn much! She's my bestfriend, my partner and most especially, my mate." Finishing my confession, Master was looking at me with widen eyes. I guess he didn't expect it. Coming from me, the densest guy out there, at least.

  "N-Natsu, i-"

  "I need her, Master! Please! I'm nothing without her!"

  "My decision still stands. You.will.not.look.for.her!"

  "What?! That's b*llsh*t! I will look for her even if you don't permit me to! You can't stop -"

  "Either you look for her or i'll expel you from the guild." It was my turn to look at him in shock. Did h-he just..?

  "W-What?"

  "Your choice, Natsu. I made a promise to Lucy. I will prevent any Fairy Tail Member from following her. And i'm not planning on breaking that promise." I looked at him for a full minute, debating on what to do. Is it worth it? Of course it does! But leave the family i grew up with?

  "B-But i-"

  "I'm giving you a choice here, Natsu. Leave the guild or not look for her. Don't worry. I'll give you time to think. Come find me if you made up your mind."

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It's Holy Week, minna!!

Gomen for not updating! It was our finals last week so i focused on studying. And guess what?

I survived!! Wwaaahhh! Arigatou to those who prayed for me!!

I'll try to update TSG 2 later. I'm not sure yet..

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Love lots,
☆JeRein_14