7/4/17

THE BAG OF popcorn is warm on my lap as I lounge on the couch and flip on a movie.

The house is quiet since Grayson and Hayley are out with Cale and Clayton. They of course wanted me to tag along but I wanted them to have a fun night out and ever since the beach party I've been in a funk.

I'm confused except that I'm not. I know exactly what I want, better yet who I want, but somehow that clarity only makes me more confused.

So instead of faking a smile for the evening I decided to stay in and stuff my face full of buttery popcorn and distract myself by binging early 2000's chick flicks. They make life and love look so simple compared to my reality.

I do know I can't have things proceed any further with Finn. It's not fair to him to lead him to believe we could eventually become something when I know we won't. We can't. He's so nice and warm and he is what my heart should crave. But it's not.

I'm settling into the couch right as Jennifer Garner wakes up as a thirty year old on screen when the doorbell rings.

A wave of deja vu hits me and I pause as I stand from the couch. My heart races as my tongue traces over my butter flavored lips.

It can't be him again? Right?

I walk over to the door and when I look through the peephole my heart soars. I don't groan and roll my eyes like last time. Because I can't lie to myself anymore. I'm excited to see him. Even through the tangled web of confusion that has my mind a complete mess my lips can't help but lift.

It's only been a few days since the beach party celebration for the fourth, but I won't lie. I've missed him. I know I shouldn't. But every moment I spend with him and I get to see beneath the facade he puts on for the rest of the world I find myself wanting to know more. To dig deeper. To crawl as far under his skin as he is already under mine.

I swing open the door to see Colt all dressed up in a pair of navy trousers and a crisp white button up with his sleeves rolled up. The first few buttons on his shirt are open revealing his sun kissed skin that makes my fingers itch to reach out. His dark brown hair isn't as messy as usual but instead styled. The unruly curls that usually tangle around his neck are tamed and in place.

Colt's dark eyes brighten like the sun rising in the morning as his gaze meets mine and a soft mile touches his lips.

I try to keep my emotions in check as my insides buzz with an energy I've never felt before, but I don't want to focus too much on that at this moment. "What are you doing here?" I ask him a bit stunned to see him here. I don't miss the way his eyes trail over me and linger on the exposed skin my oversized t-shirt and shorts allow and it makes my entire body flush.

His signature smirk pulls across his lips. "We're friends, remember," he says as he steps through the threshold of the door into the house.

I shut the door behind him, closing out the humid summer heat that threatens to wind around us and steal our breaths. "Ah yes, so friends just show up unannounced?" I question with a raise of my eyebrows.

"Of course," he replies with a wide lopsided smile that makes my stomach flip.

"What if I had been busy?" I counter as I cross my arms over my chest.

His eyes scan the empty house and then peak into the living room. He spots the full bowl of popcorn and the movie that is still playing on the flat screen.

"Yeah, you seem really busy," he drawls sarcastically.

"Shut up," I grumble playfully. "What do you want, Colt?"

His eyes instantly flare and his face lights up with an eagerness that makes me come to life and my chest clench. "I have a surprise for you," he announces with his hands stuffed into his pockets as if he's trying to contain the wild energy humming around him. "You have thirty minutes."

My jaw drops at his words in shock. "What?" I shout at him. "I'm not going anywhere with you!"

"Why? Do you think I'm an axe murderer?" he asks, obviously knowing my answer.

I let out a pent up sigh. "No." Colt is an ass. Annoying. Obnoxious. Smug. And every other adjective I can think of at the moment. But he would never hurt me.

Intentionally at least. Which is what will always terrify me. But I push all the anxiety from my mind because I won't give Colt the power to break my heart. Because we are friends. Just friends. Nothing more.

Never anything more again.

"Then why not?" he urges, pulling my attention back to him.

"Cause I had plans to stay in and watch a movie."

A husky chuckle leaves his lips. "My plans are better Maxine," he tells me as he steps forward closing the distance between us. He leans down a bit so we are now at eye level. "Promise," he adds with a wink that makes my blood warm.

I stand still, frozen in front of him as my mind debates against his words. I have come to terms with the fact that I do want Colt. But that doesn't mean I want to cross that line again. What I feel for him still scares me and goes against everything I was taught, but I told myself I would ride that line of friendship until the summer ends.

And the summer isn't over yet.

My lips press together in a purse as I continue to mentally debate leaving the house with him.

Because Colt Hasting isn't the kind of man who will slowly takes pieces of me over time. He's overwhelming in every sense of the world. I know it will only take one moment for him to completely take over and own me in a way that would be impossible to recover from.

I can't deny anymore that I love hanging out with him. But I still have to set boundaries because that moment lingers above us like an ever growing heavy rain cloud just waiting to drown us in heartbreak.

Colt leans even closer and it only grows the heat igniting in my body. "Come on. You know you want to." His playful words allow interest to spark within me.

My teeth sink into my bottom lip as my worries begin to melt away in his presence, and I let his words lure me in. "What are we doing?"

"It's a surprise," he reminds me and that weakly concealed enthusiasm returns.

I can see the excitement sparkle in his eyes and I can see how much he wants this. How eager he is for this little surprise and that's what pushes me over the edge. Because how can I say no to Colt when he looks at me like that? Like he wants to give me the entire world.

"Fine. Fine. What do I wear?" I give in as the excitement that's buzzing off him sinks into my skin and electrifies me.

"Nothing fancy whatever you want." He shrugs casually.

I can't stop the roll of my eyes. "Dudes are no help," I groan as I turn away from him and make my way up the stairs to my room.

"Sorry!" he shouts after me before I slam my door shut and begin to get ready.

I go through my closet and quickly grab and slip into a silky slip dress that stops mid calf with a slit up the side. I pair the dress with slide on nude heels and some simple dainty jewelry. My hair is still holding its curl from my day out with my friends and doesn't look too crazy so I decide to run a brush through the ends and let it be.

The midnight blue of the dress brings out my eyes, and I grab my makeup bag to apply mascara to add a touch of sultry to the look. I then add some warm blush to my freckled cheeks and shiny gloss to my lips before spraying on my favourite perfume. The look is simple yet sexy and should hopefully work for whatever he has planned for the night.

With a steadying breath I grab my purse and walk down the steps to find Colt sitting on the couch with my bowl of popcorn in his lap. He's not on his phone or distracted at all. He's fully engrossed in the movie continuing to play on screen and it makes a giggle escape me.

His attention snaps from the screen and lands on me but he doesn't look ashamed. He doesn't even care that he got caught watching a chick flick because his attention is frozen on me.

He's staring at me as if I'm something worthy to look at. As if he's mesmerized by me, which is almost laughable because I am just me. Just Maxine. Nothing special. But in his eyes I feel like I could be. Because right now he's looking at me as if I'm shining as bright as the sun and it almost scares me how much I like it.

Because in his eyes I'm not hidden. I'm on full display.

I clear my throat dropping my gaze. "Are you enjoying the movie?" I tease trying to ease the sudden burst of tension that is boiling between us.

We are friends. Just friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. I repeat in my head because for some reason my body still hasn't received the memo.

He stands from the couch and walks over to me as if he has only one thought in his head and I can see that thought clear as day on his face and it makes me shiver.

"Is this okay?" I ask nervously since he didn't give much direction on what to wear.

"You're perfect," he whispers as he stands so close I can almost feel him through my dress. He reaches out to curl a piece of my red hair around his finger.

"You didn't answer my question Colt," I remind him in an attempt to squash the feelings beginning to overtake me.

"13 Going On 30 is a classic, but I don't give a shit about that movie right now," he grumbles as he tugs on the strand of hair pulling a low gasp from me. "You look so beautiful. But to be fair you always do."

"Um...thank you," I barely choke out as my throat runs dry at his compliment. "But we are still just friends," I remind him, needing to keep a clean and clear distance in this friendship. Because a blurred line with Colt Hasting only means trouble.

"Friends can't say how hot they find one another? Cause you can let me know I look good any time and any day and I wouldn't find it weird," he announces with a mischievous grin pulling across his handsome face.

I shake my head with a dry laugh and walk past him towards the front door. "Of course you wouldn't." I turn on my heel to face him as I now stand in front of the door. "This surprise better be worth me leaving the house."

He walks towards me with pure confidence in every step. "Trust me. It's better than watching that movie for probably the millionth time."

"Hey, don't hate on the classics," I say pointing a finger into his chest trying to ignore how hard it is under my touch.

"I'd never," he swears with a smirk. "Now let's go."

I turn and Colt follows me out the front door before I lock up behind us. He places a soft hand on the small of my back as we walk towards his car parked on the street and I fight the blush that wants to redden my already blushed cheeks. The last time I was in his car it was leading us to his apartment where I ran right past the line I created for us.

The sleek black car is still just as sexy and intimidating as the first time I saw it. A smile grazes my lips as I glance at the tall man beside me realizing so is he.

We climb into the car and Colt brings the engine to life making chills break out over my skin. In seconds we are down the street and driving in complete silence letting the music weave between us. It's not awkward. Shockingly it never is awkward with Colt, which confuses me in ways I will never understand. I am always on edge when I first meet people. I never know what to say and I stumble over my words. But never once with Colt have I felt that way. It's always been just comfortable to be around him.

Or completely irritating. But never awkward.

Which of course only adds to the muddled mess of confusion in my brain.

"Did you enjoy the fireworks?" His deep voice breaks through the car and I find my eyes glued to him.

Everything he does is so effortlessly sexy it's honestly annoying but completely arousing. The way his one hand rests on the steering wheel and his legs are spread makes my spine tingle.

His words bring me back to that night on the beach. "The fireworks were amazing but..." I trail too nervous to finish my sentence.

Colt flashes his gaze at me before turning back to the brightly lit highway laid out in front of us. "But?" he pushes.

My leg bounces anxiously and before I know it his free hand shoots out to grab onto my knee instantly stilling my movement. The hem of my dress raised once I sat down so his hand is burning through my bare skin with his touch. My heart stops and all I want for him is to slide his hand further up my thigh and touch me where I'm aching for him.

"But what Maxine?" His words kick my stopped heart into overdrive as my eyes narrow in on his skin touching mine. It's beautiful and perfect and absolutely dangerous.

I wet my dry lips. "I wish you didn't leave," I confess quietly.

His hand squeezes my legs as soon as the words leave my lips and it makes my blood boil with untamed desire. I lift my eyes to see that stupid smug grin on his face and I know I've only inflated his already stupidly large ego. But I just can't seem to care because his thumb is caressing the skin on the inside of my leg and it's making me spiral with need.

I try to clear my hazy thoughts as he continues to stroke my tingling skin. "We were just having a good time. You know as friends," I emphasize in attempts to back track my words as they stumble out unsure and breathless under his touch.

"We were having a good time," he agrees with a small nod. His words begin to sound sensual and I already know the path we are on is treacherous. "We could have more good times if you drop this whole friend thing."

His words spark sharp annoyance in me and I slap away his hand from my leg. "Colt, why did you have to ruin the moment?"

He lets out a warm chuckle. "It's a specialty of mine actually to ruin moments," he insists and from the stories my friends have told me about him I know he isn't lying.

"I'm shocked," I say sardonically.

Time passes us by as the fast cars and bright lights blur past us and before I know it I realize we are no longer in Easton. We are closer to the city as I notice the buildings are taller and the lights more colorful.

"Can you just tell me the surprise now?" I ask on the edge of my seat. Literally.

"No," he mocks and I cast him a scornful look that only makes him laugh.

He slows down and parks by the curb near a valet stand. Curiosity continues to run through me as I step out of the car and that's when I notice all the commotion happening in front of us.

"What is all this?" I ask as I glance at the small theater all lit up. Multiple camera crews await outside and paparazzi are flashing their pictures brightly and fans screaming loudly from the streets with homemade signs and security trying desperately to keep them at bay.

Colt just smiles. "Come on," he encourages with a tilt of his head as he begins to walk forward and I follow.

I don't even make it two steps when I come to a sudden halt. I finally see the name on the glowing marquee outside. My eyes widen as I stare at the name and begin to internally freak out.

"Is...is this real?" I stutter with disbelief in my voice.

"It is," he confirms.

I shake my head still not fully believing what I see in front of me. Not believing what Colt has done.

"He's not even on tour yet. What is this?" I ask in bewilderment.

"A small show for the album to promote the tour," he tells me. His eyes shine as they watch me stand in front of him beyond stunned.

These tickets had to be almost impossible to snag. "How did you even get tickets?" I question as excitement bubbles throughout me making me suppress a squeal.

He shrugs like it's nothing. "I have a friend."

I let out a giddy laugh before lifting my hand to my mouth in utter shock. I told him on a beach just a few days ago that I had only ever been to one concert in my entire life and now here I stand with Colt. "Of course you do," I try to tease but all I can focus on is  stopping the tears that line my eyes from rolling down my cheeks.

I glance up at the man beside me. The moon perfectly placed behind him almost like a halo, which makes me laugh inside because he's downright sinful. But right now at this moment he is an angel.

"You ready?" Colt asks lifting his arm for me to take hold of.

I nod eagerly and with that we walk through the mess of people and into the small theater for my first concert as an adult.

* * * * *

I'm still buzzing with shock and excitement as we sit on the rooftop of Colt's apartment.

The concert was beyond amazing. The small venue was perfect and the energy the entire room brought was like nothing I've ever experienced. I'm already hoarse from singing every song and I know tomorrow I won't have a voice and I don't even care.

I haven't been able to stop smiling, even with my cheeks starting to hurt, and I don't ever want to. Tonight was perfect. Colt gave me perfection and it made every single piece of me melt and I've had to hold myself back from attacking him with my lips.

The night air has cooled down as we sip on our drinks enjoying the midnight stars together. As soon as we walked into Colt's apartment he handed me my favorite drink and something about that small act had me aching to reach for him again. Even when I promised I wouldn't. Even when I know it will do nothing but have us crash and burn.

I take another pull from my drink as I stare up at the sky for a moment and soak in the darkness. I've always loved the moon. She has so many secrets. She hides parts of herself every single night, but once a month she allows us to see her in full. But even then half of her is still hiding from us. Always hiding. Always mysterious.

Never truly seen.

I lower my gaze to look over at Colt to spot his eyes already locked in on me. It makes my heart clench and I have to remind myself once again to keep our lines clear. Boundaries set. Because we can only be friends.

But being friends with Colt feels more like walking a very thin tightrope and one small misstep and I'll end up falling, falling, falling over the edge to my demise.

I know I have to try and dampen the charge between us that's only been growing since the beginning of the night, so I bring up a question that's been on my mind since the beach party.

"Do you enjoy working with your family?" I can't stop thinking about the sadness that fell off of him in waves as we sat on the beach together that night. He had a hard week and no one to tell about it and ease the heaviness off of him because to his family he's just a frivolous playboy who doesn't take life seriously.

"Some days," he replies vaguely, playing with the label on his beer bottle.

I don't let his answer stop me. I keep pushing.

"Did you always know what you wanted to do?" I question letting the weight and sting of my current rejection email come to mind. I woke up this morning to another letter from another job telling me they decided to go in a different direction. But of course they loved me and are keeping my resume on file. It's tiring to keep going in this loop and the more rejections I get the more of a failure I feel like.

I keep on the happy smile for my mother but internally I'm a wreck. But being around Colt helps to ease that worry and doubt that spirals within me constantly.

"I knew what I had to do. What was expected of me." His words strike me in the chest. We are on two different ends of the spectrum. I have no idea what my next move is and his was laid out and perfectly planned for him. Yet here we both are.

"Do you enjoy your job?"

"Some days," he repeats.

I watch as he finishes his drink in a single gulp. "You should start working on your art again," I suggest trying to remain casual but I know this can be touchy for him.

"Maybe." But I don't believe him, and I wish I felt confident enough to push him on why he quit in the first place. Maybe one day.

"Come on Colt. Do something you love," I urge gently.

"What do you want to do? What do you love?" he counters.

I chuckle to myself. "I have no clue."

"That's okay. You'll figure it out," he tells me with confidence in his words.

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you Maxine. Not everything of course. But I see you and just know you'll find a job that excites you just as much as tonight even did. The way your face lit up...you deserve a life where you wake up every day like that. It might take a few tries but you'll get there. "

His words make my heart skip a beat as I begin to play with the ticket from the concert that I've held onto all night. Most venues don't give physical tickets anymore. They are either digital or printed on paper so I was shocked when he handed me one. I can't wait to frame this when I'm home. I can't wait to see it every single day and remember the perfect night Colt gave me.

Because that's what he gave me. Just like my father. And even if our friendship crashes and burns at least I can hold onto this night and let it be my shining star even on my darkest of nights.

"Thank you Colt," I tell him seriously. "Thank you doesn't even cover it really," I almost laugh because it doesn't. I have no words for what Colt gave me tonight and it's hard to even express that fully to him.

He cracks open another drink and pulls a swig. "It was worth it to see that smile."

Unwanted tears gather in my eyes. "Still worth a million bucks?" I tease with a thick voice.

"No. It's worth more. Way more."

Right as my chest expands with wild emotions a large explosion sounds stealing my attention, and in seconds fireworks are exploding and lighting up the entire sky.

It's feels almost as if we are in the middle of them they are so close and brilliant.

And this time I know I'm sitting right next to the person who makes me feel as alive as the glittering sparks in the sky.

But I remain on the tightrope.

For now at least.