6/24/17

"ONE, TWO, THREE!" Hayley shouts before we all toss back our shots and slam down our glasses onto the sticky bar top. A smooth velvet-like warmth engulfs my chest as my body basks in the strong liquor.

"Okay no more letting Hayley pick the shot," Grayson declares with a laugh before grabbing an extra lime and squeezing it between her teeth with a wince at the sour lime juice.

"What?" she gasps dramatically. "Tequila is always a good idea," she reasons with a smirk playing on her glossed lips.

"Says who?" I tease back loving the way the remnants of the alcohol tingle through my veins.

We have been drinking the majority of the day between the beach and the margaritas Hayley made for us at the house. Thankfully Cale agreed to be our designated driver so we could continue to have a fun girls night out downtown. It's been two days since I've come to terms with my stupid feelings for Colt, and even though I've awknolwedged them I'm still attempting to shove them far, far beneath the surface of my damaged heart.

And getting drunk sure as shit helps with that.

"Says everyone!" Hayley cheers, chugging the rest of her fruity pink cocktail.

Laughter fills the air between us as we giggle and let loose and shake off the worries of the world that have yet to crumble our perfect day filled with friendship and love. I don't ever want it to end.

But all good things do.

"Damn okay I'm drunk drunk," Grayson states with a shake of her head. Her long blonde locks are beginning to frizz under the humidity and yet she still looks like the angel she is.

"Yeah," Hayley agrees with an eager nod. "I think I need to leave soon," she says before leaning over and closing out her bar tab.

"I'm going to go ahead and text Cale," Grayson tells us before chugging her glass of water. "I need pizza," she tells us with a smile.

"I need a burger," Hayley adds with wide enthusiastic eyes.

But I'm not ready to let go of the night. I'm not ready to move on from the lighthearted fun and break from the real world and all the weight and pressure that comes from it.

"Oh, come on guys," I beg. "I want to stay out longer," I all but whine as I sip on my seltzer letting the carbonated bubbles fizzle on my tongue.

Grayson's blue eyes widen. "Maxine turning into the party animal between the three of us is something I'd never have guessed," she says with a smile stretching across her face.

"I'm here to shock," I remark with a teasing wink and a playful bow.

"Obviously," Hayley agrees with a bright smile shining in her green eyes.

"Well we can stay out longer if you want to stay out..." Grayson trails and I know she's telling me the truth. I know they would stay with me, but I can also see in their eyes how tired they are and the idea of food has already infiltrated their minds and won't leave them anytime soon now.

"No, no it's fine," I tell them truthfully with a wave of my hand. "Kylie's here. I can hang out with her," I say pointing to Grayson's really good friend who lives here year round. They were best friends when they were teenagers before all the drama between Grayson and Cale went down and just a couple years ago rekindled their friendship. She's been hanging out with us here and there since we came into town for the summer and she's so cool.

Kylie's a school teacher so she really lets loose during the summer when she doesn't have to teach, and she's been a blast to have around. She's here with a couple other teachers and she sits now in a booth across the bar and I know she would welcome me over with open arms.

"Are you sure?" Grayson pushes and I can see her eyes narrow and suspicion furrow it's way into her mind.

"Yes," I promise with a convincing smile. I'm not really sure why I don't want to go home. I should. But there's a restlessness in my bones and I may just be a little drunk, but I feel like it's something more. So I lean in and don't leave. I follow the feeling even when I know I shouldn't. "Go home and enjoy your food," I tell them keeping the smile on my lips unwavering.

"Maxine..." she trails skeptically.

But I don't let her finish. "Nope. Go. I am fine," I say pushing at them to leave.

Grayson's eyes watch me for a second as if to find any hint of me lying, but she's obviously appeased because she doesn't push any further. "Please text us if you need anything. I don't care what time it is Cale will come get you. Promise me you will text us," she urges and although the suspicion has dampared that doesn't mean there isn't an inkling left waiting to catch me.

But I don't let her catch me. I never let anyone catch what's under the broken walls of me. "I promise. Thank you Gray," I assure her as I lean in to give her a big hug.

"I love you Max," she whispers back and squeezes me even tighter. "We're always here for you. I hope you know that."

I pull back as her light blue eyes hold mine and I nod once as emotions build in my chest. "I know," I respond and yet I'm still lying. Because I know my best friends will always be there for me, but that doesn't stop the fear in my chest from growing and latching on to every bit of me. The fear that they won't love me after the truth comes out. The fear of losing them when they've become my family.

So much fear. Rational or not it's there.

So I slide on a smile and bite my tongue.

"Have another drink for me," Hayley says as she pulls me into her arms and gives me a big kiss on the cheek.

And with that they walk out of the bar and I'm alone and the smile I had plastered to my face instantly drops. But I'm still wired as if my body is ready and waiting for the night to take a turn. But I know it's not because nothing all that interesting happens to me.

Besides that night with Colt.

But I shake my head at the intruding thought and make my way over to Kylie and her friends.

"Hey Maxine!," she smiles at me warmly when she notices me coming over.

"Can I join?" I ask.

"You never have to ask of course you can!" she tells me as she scoots over to make room for me. And with that the laughter and the comadrie and the drinks flow freely and my worries are pushed aside. Around them I can forget about my confusing feeling for Colt. I can forget about the fact that I still have no lead on a job even though I apply daily. I can forget about all the worries that threaten to pull me under and crack more parts of my heart.

But after another hour of fun I start to feel the beginning touches of fatigue sink in, and I know it's time for me to turn in. I excuse myself from the table knowing the group is about to leave soon as the munchies are sinking into all of us.

I make my way past the tables and the back room bar all the way to the front bar that's mostly empty now. The back is where the music plays and the karaoke happens so it's much more packed there.

I pull out my phone to text Grayson that I need a ride home but the letters on the phone blur a bit under my intoxicated gaze. I take a deep breath to focus on the screen to make sure I hit the right name to call when someone walking by bumps into me causing my phone to go flying across the dirty bar floor.

A hand darts out to grab onto it and when my eyes flicker up my heart stills and the room tilts off kilter. Maybe I'm just drunk or maybe he just makes me feel that way.

I step forward and snatch the phone from his hands as a scowl twists it's way onto my lips. "What the hell are you doing here Colt?"

His dark eyes trail over me making my skin tingle as his gaze lingers on the splashes of bare skin revealed by the denim shorts and loose band t-shirt I'm wearing that falls off my shoulder. "I was just having a drink," he says lifting the tumbler of dark liquor in the air.

Of course I know he could just happen to be here having a drink as he says, but I'm drunk and irrational and of course think he's somehow here just for me. Which annoys me and warms my heart all at once. So I end up crossing my arms over my chest as the skin around my eyes tightens. "Sure," I drawl.

"Scouts honor," he teases as he salutes me with a wink that makes my stomach flip and heat flood my entire body. My drunk self I've quickly realized has zero self control.

I can't stop from rolling my eyes. "Even if you were a scout I wouldn't trust you," I say honestly. Because even though Colt acts as if he's an open book I still don't trust him, and that's not because I think he's a liar it's because I don't trust the way he makes me feel.

And I don't trust myself around him.

A smirk tugs at his lips. "I wasn't one," he confesses.

"Exactly my point," I state as I begin to attempt to call my friend for a ride again.

"What are you doing?" he asks as he moves closer and watches me with his intense eyes that always makes my heart beat faster and my skin catch fire.

"I'm trying to call Grayson," I say to him as my finger taps on the green phone icon.

"Why?" he questions.

"I need Cale to pick me up," I begin not understanding why I'm even explaining myself to him. "And I need my bed," I conclude dreaming of soft sheets and fluffy pillows.

"Why?"

"Because I'm tired," I say exasperatedly annoyed by all this stupid questions. And I am tired. I'm tired of all the lies. I'm tired of fighting against what I want. I'm just so damn tired all the time.

"Okay, then come home with me," he says out of nowhere and so casually as if he's offering me a stick of gum and not his bed. Which I can't lie sounds amazing by the heat spiraling within me right now, but I shove it away refusing to let my body make my decisions right now.

"What?" I ask as shock falls over me.

"My apartment is close by and I have a bed," he says but as his eyes trail over me he can see the hesitancy that fills my bones. "I don't bite," he promises but I can see the mischief sparkling in his dark eyes.

I scoff not trusting him for a second. "Unless I want you too. Right?" As the words leave my mouth memories of our night hit me and my cheeks flush.

Yeah, he does bite.

And from what I remember I liked it. A lot.

A stupid grin spreads across his handsome face almost as if he can read my mind, which only makes my cheeks redden more. "Marry me," he requests shamelessly. "Right now."

I want to laugh at his insane and obvious fake request. Like I'd ever marry Colt Hasting.

With a faint sigh I shake my head because I've had enough of this conversation with this beautifully infuriating man. I begin to walk away and head towards the front door, but he doesn't let me get very far before his hand shoots out to stop me.

His hand on my arm practically burns me and I can't stop the gasp that falls from my lips when the sizzle reaches my heart and sends shivers down my spine.

"Come on Maxine," he pleads. "Just come home with me," he whispers and his husky voice makes my heart stutter.

I turn so I'm fully facing him, but I quickly realize that's a bad idea because his dark eyes are hot as they regard me. "I don't think that's a good idea," I tell him honestly as my gaze trails up his body before landing on his face. Does he have to be so hot?

"Why?" he pushes as if he doesn't already know.

"You already know why," I hold, not wanting to play this game anymore because I feel like I might lose.

No, I know I'll lose when it comes to him. Because I tend to think with my emotions and the traitorous space between my legs rather than any true logic.

"I really don't," he says with a tilt of his head but I can see the humor lighting up his dark eyes. Of course he finds this funny. He finds any way of getting under my skin amusing. "Could you explain it to me?"

"I'm drunk," I state but my buzz is quickly fading around him along with my rationale. "And I tend to make bad choices when it comes to you."

Colt steps closer until my back hits the faded brick wall near the bar. I'm so close to the exit but suddenly that door seems so far away with Colt's presence stealing every inch of my attention. Heat spread over every inch of me and my body tenses in anticipation of his touch.

He reaches out and threads his fingers through my auburn hair letting his thumb trace across my flushed cheek. Everything stops for a moment. For a single second everything freezes as if my mind needs to take a mental picture to remember every single little detail of what is happening.

But then without warning it speeds up. Like someone flipped a switch and now everything is in doubletime. My heart begins to pound and it feels like it might leap right out of my chest at any second, and my breath is coming out too fast as I begin to feel lightheaded under his touch.

Colt's thumb trails down my jaw and I can't help but lean into his palm. His finger then ghosts over my bottom lip making me tremble and an unintentional whimper escape my lips.

"Maxine, you make great choices when it comes to me I think," he murmurs letting his eyes linger on my parted lips. "But you're drunk and I don't do sloppy," he adds with a shrug so coolly that his indifference completely catches me off guard but also makes me want to punch him.

His words send a jolt through me and my hooded eyes snap wide and I pull away from him as fierce annoyance swarms my chest.

"I'm not sloppy," I argue with a narrowed gaze. I might be drunk, but I've been told on countless occasions that I am a very put together drunk. Not that that's something to necessarily brag about.

I shift to move away from him and his irritating face when my foot catches on a nearby barstool and I almost trip before Colt's arms wrap around me to stop me from falling face first into the sticky bar floor.

A deep laugh rumbles from his chest as he keeps his hands on me until I'm standing and stable on two feet.

"That was bad timing," I maintain pulling away from him as I straighten my shirt with flaming red cheeks. "I'm not sloppy," I repeat as if I continue to say it I can remove the embarrassing moment that just transpired from our memories.

"Okay," he sings as a smug grin breaks across his face.

"I hate you," I tell him as I cast him a dirty look.

"No you don't," he counters before he reaches out and tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. It's tender and soft and everything that Colt is not so of course it makes me melt. "Now come home with me."

Not a request. A demand. Something that shouldn't make my thighs clench, but it does. Colt's dark eyes hold mine as he watches me intensely. He watches my mind reel and my feet shift indecisively as I mull over his words.

But I'm tired.

I'm so beyond tired and I know I should call Grayson and have her boyfriend come pick me up. But I can't lie...I've missed Colt. Especially this Colt. The playful one. The utterly annoying one. The one that pisses me off and makes me smile at the same time. The one who's confusing and wonderful and makes me roll my eyes but also laugh.

And I have that right now unlike the night at his house when he was cold and distant. I don't want to lose that version of him quite yet. So I text my friends that I'm okay and don't need a ride tonight, which I know will invite a shit ton of questions but that's for tomorrow. For tonight I tuck my phone away and nod quietly as I let Colt place his hand on the small of my back and lead me out of the bar without another word.

We are both silent as we make our way to his car. Maybe Colt can't believe I actually agreed to come home with him, because I know I sure as hell can't. Maybe he's afraid that if he talks too much I'll run away, and that's a fair assessment considering I do tend to run away from him a lot.

We walk for a while letting the night air revive us and we finally come to a stop at what I'm assuming is his car. It's black, sleek, a bit intimidating, and all Colt.

He opens the passenger side door for me and when our eyes meet his soften a touch and my heart begins to race once again.

"Thanks," I whisper into the dark midnight air before I climb into the car. But before he closes the door I see the hint of his smile on his perfect lips.

The leather seats are soft and luxurious beneath me and I buckle myself in before relaxing into the comfy seat.

Colt slides into the driver's side and brings the engine to life in seconds before taking off without hesitation. Music plays from the radio as silence stretches in the heady air between us. It isn't uncomfortable per say but it isn't comfortable either because I want to say something. I want him to say something.

But neither of us are speaking as the dark night sky and bright street lights streak by in a blur. This night definitely took a turn I didn't expect but instead of getting in my head and running away from everything I'm running towards it. Head first and scared shitless.

Colt makes me feel when for years I've been so careful to stuff many of my emotions below the perfectly made surface. But for him it only takes a glance before, and without any warning, he begins to break down the walls that I cautiously constructed around my heart. It usually scares me, he scares me, but right now I'm almost craving it. Needing it.

Needing him.

It's frightening and my palms are sweaty but also my chest is warm and there's a buzz of excitement in my bones that I don't expect. A feeling I rarely feel. One that usually is contained to my old job at the club.

Why does he bring that side of me out? The side I'm ashamed yet proud of all tied into a wonderfully messy bow.

"Thanks for this..." I trail out a bit awkwardly and wince at the dumb words. I haven't said anything in over ten minutes and this is the best I can come up with? I let my teeth sink into my bottom lip to stop any other words from escaping.

But he doesn't seem to care about my inability to properly speak. "You're welcome," he responds earnestly.

Before I know it we are pulling up to a fancy apartment complex that isn't too far from the downton strip. He wasn't lying when he said he lived close by. I get out of the car and the cool night air bundled with a batch of nerves brush against my bare skin. I don't know why I'm so on edge. It's not like anything is going to happen between us tonight.

I'm just sleeping at his apartment. Nothing else.

Colt rounds the car and can obviously feel the anxiety falling off of me in waves. He offers me a small smile before nodding his head towards the tall building. "Follow me," he says before turning towards the complex.

There are four buildings and the center two are the tallest while the ones beside them are smaller. The smaller buildings have an outside staircase that I can see while the taller ones remind me more of buildings in the city. He swipes us into the small lobby where a doorman resides before we move to the elevator.

Colt swipes his card against the panel in the elevator before selecting the long button at the very top that has nothing written on it. No floor, no number, no name, nothing.

"Penthouse?" I question as I put it all together. Most elevators don't make you swipe unless it's a hotel or needs to be more secure because it opens directly into the actual apartment. Also it's Colt and I know he works for his father and sits on the board of directors, which means he has to be making decent enough money.

And by decent I mean money I could only dream to make one day so I can finally help my mom go back to school and achieve her own dreams.

The elevator is quiet. No cheesy music. Just the soft rumble of the lift raising us.

Colt flashes his attention to me as a smirk paints his lips. "Of course," he replies.

I force myself to not roll my eyes. "Of course," I murmur under my breath in a mocking manner.

"You know I can hear you?" he questions as the grin on his face widens.

"Yeah," I say with ease and a shrug. Around anyone else I wouldn't have been that casual. Around anyone else I would've instantly apologized for being so rude because that's how my mom raised me, but not with Colt. Because around him I can be sassy and annoyed and rude and everything I never let myself be. I am the friend who is kind and sweet and goes with the flow and shy and quiet.

And I am all of those things. But around Colt I've realized I am also more than that and for once I find it fun. I find it fun to not be predictably quiet Maxine.

The elevator ride finally ends and when the doors open I'm a bit shocked at the sight. The silver doors part to reveal a living room and kitchen area. It's all very open and sleek, but also warm. It's not impersonal like a lot of men's apartments can be. He has paintings, large ones, in the living room that are breathtaking. They look more abstract than the ones I saw in his room so I don't think he did them. But his eye for art doesn't surprise me now that I know he is an artist himself.

Even if he hasn't had a hand in it for years I still consider him an artist.

I walk forward taking in the nice sized kitchen and dining area along with the large leather sectional that sits in the living room with an insanely large plasma mounted on the wall. Massive windows that lead to an outdoor patio sit on the left side of the apartment, and as I step forward and look through the heavy curtains I have a perfect view of the ocean.

It's dark tonight. Almost pitch black as the waves dance under the power of the moon. The soft light is almost hidden by clouds but stars still shine in the sky and sparkle off the onyx ocean.

"You can sleep in my room." Colt's words make me jump realizing how lost I was in the view. I turn around to see him leaning against the kitchen counter watching me inquisitive eyes and a cocked head.

I shake my head repeatedly. "I am not—" I barely get out before he cuts me off.

"Please don't argue," he says, no, he requests. "Not tonight," he adds and the seriousness reflecting back at me from his eyes causes me to still.

I nod once. "Okay," I agree without a fight.

"Wow," he mutters obviously a bit shocked by my compliance.

"Did you expect me to still fight?" I question with a raised brow.

"Little bit," he replies with the smallest crack of a smile and my chest squeezes as the seriousness that once clouded his eyes begins to fade.

"Not tonight," I repeat his words. "But tomorrow," I amend with a breathy chuckle.

"Should've guessed that was too easy," he says with a shake of his head but a smile still lingers on his lips.

"I'm never that easy," I tease.

Colt's eyes darken a touch. "No, you're not," he agrees slowly and the raspiness of his voice traces over my skin and makes me tremble.

Tension floods the air between us as we hold each other's gazes and remain frozen in place a few feet from each other. My lips dry and my heart attempts to punch it's way out of my chest as my stomach flips with a mix of desire and nerves.

Finally he drops his eyes from mine and my lungs fill with much needed air and my tongue darts out to wet my lips. The tension continues to roll between us thick and unrelenting, but it's bearable for the moment at least.

He clears his throat. "Follow me," he says as he begins to walk down the only hallway. We pass a couple doors but he walks until we reach the one at the end.

The door opens and he flips on a nearby lamp so the room is covered in soft golden light to reveal a large bedroom. My eyes immediately land on the king sized bed in the middle of the room and I have two thoughts.

The first is how comfortable it looks as sleep begins to weigh on my limbs.

The second is an unwanted image of Colt and myself in the bed. Not even in a sexual way. Just us laying beside each other, his arm wrapped around me, as we talk until we can't talk anymore. Sharing every piece of ourselves without fear of hurt or broken hearts. The image is somehow more intimate than sex and it scares me.

I take a few steps away from Colt as the image haunts me even though I try and shove it as far away as I can.

"Sheets are clean and bathroom is through there," he says as he motions to a half open door to my right. "Use anything you need. There's a new toothbrush in the drawer and you can take a shower if you want. I'll grab you some clothes to sleep in."

"Okay," I murmur. "Thanks...again," I add, not knowing what to do or say at this moment. I'm staying the night at Colt Hasting's apartment even though I barely know him. I'm sleeping in his bed even though the last time I saw him he acted like he hated me.

It's weird and I'm awkward in these types of situations so without another word I walk into the bathroom and click the lock behind me. I immediately strip out of the clothes I have on because they smell like bar and tequila and my hair smells like stale beer.

The shower is impressive as I take in how large it is with the black tile and brass hardware. It's a walk in with no door and I twist the knobs and the waterfall showerhead comes to life with hot water in seconds. I step into the oversized shower and let the water wash away the night and soothe me until I'm ready for bed.

I keep any and all inquiries about naked Colt in this shower far, far away and focus on relaxing the tense muscles in my body. I stay under the hot water until my skin is red and my limbs are content and ready for a deep sleep.

I turn the shower off as steam lingers around me. I wrap a fluffy white towel around my body and step up to the vanity. I swipe my hand against the foggy mirror to be able to see myself. My eyes land on wet hair matted to my forehead and deep blue eyes that are filled to the brim with a mixture of emotions.

My eyes continue to linger on my reflection for a minute longer until with a deep sigh I drop my gaze to the top drawer and open it to find the toothbrush he mentioned.

I remain wrapped in the towel as I brush my teeth and face and locate a comb to somewhat untangle my mess of hair. I unlock the door and peak my head around to see if Colt is still in the room. But the lamp is on and the door is closed and he's nowhere in sight.

My feet shuffle around the door and I walk out to see a t-shirt and a pair of boxers laying out on the bed for me. The shirt is just an old college one, but the boxers make me laugh. They have Spongebob on them and the image of Colt wearing them brings a bright smile to my face.

I slip on the clothes and between the clothes and the bodywash I just used the smell of him envelopes me and makes my mouth water. It's fresh with a hint of spice and warmth that makes my heart skip a beat.

My eyes then land on the wood nightstand to see a glass of water and some advil. My chest tightens and I have to stop myself from running out of the room and wrapping my arms around Colt and kissing him silly.

I can deal with Colt being an ass. I am accustomed to it honestly. Even the small flashes of a softer Colt I can deal with. But considerate Colt is one I don't think I can handle. My eyes burn with unshed tears from the multitude of emotions racing through me that I don't even want to decipher. I've already admitted I have feelings for Colt, but anymore examination on those feelings will have me spiraling and I am too exhausted for that right now.

So I take the pills and guzzle down half the glass of water realizing how thirsty I am. I then pull the covers back and slide under. The cool silkiness of the sheets calms down my overheated skin and sets me at ease.

The fluffy pillows cradle my neck perfectly and I let my eyelids flutter shut and sleep wash over me with no struggle as the image of dark eyes and a soft smile infiltrate my dreams.

* * * * *

My eyes blink open and confusion hits me before the night comes crashing to the forefront of my memory. I glance around me still not believing I am in Colt's bed and holy shit it's so comfortable I can't help but snuggle even deeper into the plush mattress.

My dry throat aches for water so I roll over to see the cup is almost empty. I toss back the little left and sit up knowing my body needs more. I spot my purse on the ground and itch to look at my phone, but I know my best friend's will be lowkey freaking out about my blase text about not coming home and I don't want to read those yet. Also they have my location so if anything I know Grayson knows where Colt's apartment is, but I doubt she would ever put two and two together.

I wouldn't. In their eyes we hate each other and barely know each other. Why would I ever go home with him?

Ugh, I'm going to have so much to explain tomorrow. Or more realistically so much to lie about tomorrow because I can't tell them everything without telling them everything and that just makes my stomach twist until I'm nauseous.

I need more water I decide before the thought of more convoluted lies makes me sick. I climb out of bed and walk out of the bedroom towards the kitchen. It's dark but one of the curtains in the living room is parted letting the moonlight shine through brightly. The clouds must've passed because now it shines brilliantly. Not hiding. Glowing fiercely in the dark sky.

My eyes land on the microwave to see it's almost four in the morning. I'm still tired, but definitely not as much as I was earlier. I feel lighter and it's easier to breathe. I walk over to the fridge and press my glass to the dispenser to get some filtered water.

"Are you okay?" The deep voice makes me jump and spill water all over the wood floor and myself. Thankfully I don't drop the glass but a mumbled curse comes from me at the mess I made.

I turn around to see Colt standing in just a pair of boxer briefs and my racing heart from being scared half to death is now beating for a completely different reason. His body is perfectly on display as the moon shines against his flawless and lickable body. I would know that because I did lick it. Many times.

I shake the dirty thoughts from my head and look away from his messy bed head that somehow makes him hotter and his long strong limbs that I secretly wish were wrapped around me. I set the now empty glass on the counter and I turn to grab some paper towels to clean up the mess of water.

"I'm fine Colt," I tell him as irritation spills into my tone. I don't mean to always be so annoyed at him, but his stupidly hot face and perfect body just piss me off.

Well they turn me on and that's what really pisses me off.

I can hear his footsteps and just as I finish cleaning up the water his feet appear before me. I lift my head to meet his narrowed gaze. "Of course you're fine. You're always fine Maxine," he emphasizes with thick resentment clinging to his every word.

I shoot up from the floor to stand before him. "What's that supposed to mean?" I push letting anger take over because that's the easiest with him. "You don't know anything about me Colt!"

He steps closer invading my space but I don't step away because I'm not backing down tonight. I don't know if it's the remnants of alcohol left in my system or I've finally hit my breaking point, but I want to fight.

"Except I know your deepest darkest secret little miss stripper," he remarks knowing that will push me over the edge. He does know my deepest darkest secret and I hate it. I hate that I broke the rules with him. I hate that he knows a side of me that know one else has ever seen.

But what I hate the most is that he makes that side of me feel alive. He makes that side of me feel validated and not like a dirty little secret I should shove under the rug. No, he makes me want to celebrate that side and it confuses me and scares me. Because that side is only trouble. Colt is only trouble.

My hands slam into his hard chest and push him away. He stumbles back a few steps not expecting the force and it makes the tiniest smile lift my lips before anger once again takes over and flares to life. "Shut up!" I shout at him not caring if the floor below us can hear. "Do you always have to be so infuriating?" I ask with a grumble.

A dark cloud similar to the one that covered the moon earlier tonight rolls over Colt's expression. "Fine, I won't bring it up anymore," he says his jaw tight as the words come out just as tense as the clenched fists at his side.

A bitter booming laugh rips from my chest. "You've said that one before," I mock with a sneer.

His sharp gaze pins me until I can't move. "You're right. I'm sorry Maxine. I won't bring up the way I couldn't take my eyes off you from the moment I spotted you at the bar. I won't bring up how you were the most beautiful woman my eyes had ever landed on. I won't bring up how in that moment everything I knew was a sham and the only thing I ever wanted was you." His deep voice tears through me like a hot knife through butter as he describes that night, and my chest begins to heave with short which breathes. I know he's just describing lust. I know what we have is just lust. Pure and unbridled.

But why does it feel like so much more?

"Colt—" I barely get out before he cuts me off.

He takes two steps. That's all he needs to cover his body with mine. My back hits the fridge and the cool steel sends a chill down my spine that lands between my thighs.

He cages me in with his arms reminding me of the night at the club except this is all the more dangerous. Because he's only in his boxers and there's no one else around. We are all alone and my heartbeat is now echoing throughout every part of me throbbing for more. More of this, more of Colt, more of everything that he makes me feel.

"Why are you so ashamed of something you obviously love?" he asks with strength. The unexpected featherlight touch of his fingers against the back of my thigh makes me gasp and my head fall against the fridge with a dull thud.

"How do you know I love it?" I push back hating the way he thinks he can read me so easily.

And hating even more that he's usually spot on.

His dark eyes come alive as the tension reaches its boiling point. It's spilling over and taking both of us down with it. "Because I can see the spark that comes out when you fight me or push back," he starts as he lets his hand continue to draw circles on the back of my thigh making my skin flame and pressure grow between my legs. "It's the same spark I saw when you walked into that dark room. The spark I felt when I touched you for the first time. This quiet, shy, meek version of you isn't the real one. Or it's real but it isn't the whole you. There's more to you and you're afraid of that side. But I want more of it." The last line he whispers but it's still filled with such fierce intensity as his eyes focus in on my panting lips.

My mouth parts to argue with him some more but instead he leans in and slants his lips across mine.

Every thought and ounce of fight I had left in my body disappears just like that. Because I'm finally kissing Colt Hasting and somehow it's better than I can even imagine.

And I've imagined it hundreds of times.

His lips are white hot against mine as they move roughly taking what they want without a care, and I happily oblige. Not one part of me objects as his tongue slides into my mouth and dances with mine. He tastes minty, like toothpaste and mouthwash, and sins. He tastes like my biggest and greatest mistake.

My wildest redemption and my most dangerous downfall.

And it's fucking amazing.

His hands tangle in my hair as he tilts my head making sure to get the perfect angle so I'm at his mercy as he kisses me so thoroughly I'm now convinced I've never been kissed properly in my entire life. The deep groan from his chest rumbles against my lips making my nails dig into his bare shoulders.

I love the idea of me leaving my mark on him, but I lighten my touch as worry strikes me that I could be hurting him. He then wraps his hands around my thighs and lifts me so my legs are wrapped around him, and he presses me into the fridge even harder like he's trying to meld us together.

He breaks away from my lips, but only for a second, to say, "Don't stop." And then once again his lips are on mine just as fiercely as before and I can feel how hard he is from the angle we are aligned and it makes me moan into his mouth. The idea that I could affect him an ounce of how he affects me makes me shake with a newfound hunger and kiss him even harder.

I don't have to ask for him to clarify his words, I know exactly what he wants. My nails trail down his back and dig in as he continues to steal my breath kiss by kiss. The knowledge that he likes a hint of pain makes my head spin and my body catch on fire. Because I know that's exactly how he likes to give it.

My hips begin to shift on their own, grinding into him, seeking unimaginable pleasure that for some reason only he can give me. I've been with a few guys but sex with them didn't even compare to Colt's kissing and touching. Not that I'd ever tell him that cause that would only inflate his massive ego.

He bucks his hips up into mine and hits the perfect spot that makes me see spots as pleasure tornados through me and drags me closer to the edge far sooner than I would like to admit.

He doesn't once stop kissing me with this wild untamable passion. He tastes every inch of my mouth as his tongue battles with mine. I always give in and give him control but I also fight back just a touch because I know he likes the challenge. His teeth nibble on my lips before sinking into my bottom lip and tugging on it making my thighs tighten around his hips.

Colt's hand snakes under the oversized t-shirt he gave me and grabs my breast forcing me to break away from his lips. The feel of his hand on my bare skin lights me up until I'm nothing more than a mesh of live wires and breathless moans. I can barely breathe and my lungs are on fire as his fingers twist at my nipple making me whimper and move against him even more recklessly. Making me want more. Making me want him from now and until the end of time.

And that thought alone should sober me and make me end this crazy careless decision, but it doesn't. I still only want more.

He places wet, openmouthed kisses along my neck as my hips continue to roll against his hardness. His hot tongue trails up my neck making me quiver and my entire body ache. I need more. I need him. Right now.

I move my hand to reach into his underwear barely getting past the band when his hand snaps around my wrist and shoves it against the fridge near my head. My gaze meets his dark one and I almost melt from the pure desire that blazes in his eyes.

But I don't back down. I move my other hand to touch him but he shackles that one as well and pushes it against the fridge. A desperate moan falls from my swollen lips because I want to touch him. I need to touch him.

My pelvis continues to rock against his chasing the only source of pleasure he'll give me since he refuses to kiss me as well. Each time I lift my lips near his he dodges them with a smug smirk pulled across his face.

"Do you want more?" he whispers huskily into my ear making me tremble and throb even more.

I arch into his body and nod impatiently as breathless pants escape my lips.

Fuck yes I want more, my body screams.

"Then own this side of you," he presses, squeezing my wrists gently. "She's perfection," he growls before he pulls away from me. My legs drop from him as he storms off to what I quickly realize is another bathroom when I hear the sound of a shower being turned on.

I lift a shaking hand to my bruised lips and trace them as if trying to remember every way he kissed, bit, and nibbled them tonight.

Colt could very easily become an addiction. One that could ruin me and spin completely out of control.

Even though every inch of me wants to follow him into that bathroom until he's kissing me again and inside me I know I can't.

We can't ever do that again or he'll consume me.

So I fill up my glass of forgotten water and make my way to the bedroom and crawl back into his bed. I close my eyes but I don't sleep.

I can't sleep not when I know he'll be in every dream and nightmare because he's both. He tastes like heaven but being with him will only end with me in hell.