Chae Hyungwon

i decided to drop eun gyeol to her house after she drank a bit and got tipsy at the dinner.

the thing is, she was only tipsy and i knew she had good tolerance. it takes a while before she actually gets drunk. i could certainly call on her driver using her phone, but she insisted back at the restaurant that i should be the one to take her home. 

i adjusted the air conditioner in my car as it started to get chilly in the night. afterwards, i stopped the moment the traffic light eventually shifted red.

"you know what, you drive well enough... you could certainly save some more money if you cut minhyuk off his job..." eun gyeol started.

i looked at her through my peripheral vision so that i was able to keep my head and attention on the road.

"getting minhyuk was my dad's idea.. and besides, he's not a driver for nothing. he certainly knows the way to certain places more than i do. he's very convenient for me on top of that."

eun gyeol pressed her lips into a thin line as she started nodding at my answer.

"thanks for deciding to drive me home. i just love the smell of your car. it strongly reminds me of you." she smiled.

i kept silent and didn't bother responding to her expression of gratitude.

"hey? why aren't you saying anything back? you should at least assure me that it's no problem and that i'm welcome anytime." she slightly frowned at my silence.

"if i'm not mistaken, i came up with this decision not by my own will, but rather because you almost created a scene back there insisting you were so drunk. you can't fool me eun gyeol-ah, i know you can handle your alcohol very well." 

"no?! i really did drink a lot of wine! do you not care for me if my driver took advantage of me?" she started to raise her voice.

"if you didn't trust your driver, you should've fired him a long time ago. it's not like he's never taken you back home before when you were drunk." i replied calmly.

she crossed her arms and looked away hearing me speak to her.

"you're so cold to me.."

"... i don't even know why i'm so attracted to you." eun gyeol uttered under her breath.

"if i'm testing your patience, you don't have to force your feelings for me. we could stop being together anytime." 

"that's not how it works for me." she spoke firmly.

i listened to her silently as the light turned green and i had to focus on driving. i knew she had more to say.

"i know how you treat me and i know how you see me. but even if i do, my longing for you just grows bigger." she turned to face me.

"i really want you, hyungwon-ah. it's been like this ever since we were young." she confessed.

"we went to school together and i knew how you were like. you didn't make an effort to get along with the others and you've always been so distant. you often spoke the harsh truth and you didn't like sugarcoating your thoughts and feelings. many admired you, but at the same time, you treated yourself like an outcast."

i listened to eun gyeol's words carefully. she was confessing every detail; everything she probably must have thought of me. 

"i liked you for it. i've always had my eye on you. you were smart and achieved a lot in high school. the others must have also thought you felt superior because of your handsome looks, so some of them despised you for it. but i knew you were also a warm man. what's there for me not to like?"

"did you forget?" i started.

eun gyeol immediately lifted up her head to look at me.

"the kids bullied me for being my father's son. ever since then, i kept it that way. because after then, it's either people approached me because i was from a powerful family or they disliked me for it." i spoke up.

"hyungwon, you were 10 back then! the bullying stopped when we entered seventh grade at 13 years old. you should've let it go a long time ago. you didn't have to let the bullying get to you-"

"eun gyeol, it wasn't easy for me." i abruptly stopped the car the moment we were caught in traffic again.

i turned to face eun gyeol so she would understand how i felt.

"i've grown so wary of people always watching me or wanting something from me. it didn't help that dad would always tell me to put my best foot forward at all times."

she kept silent and simply looked at me in the eye.

"my parents were loving, but i couldn't express myself because they were basically public figures. if the kids hit me, i couldn't fight back. i always had to maintain my father's image. i also knew what the kids admired me for back then, and i used it for my advantage so that i would thrive in school. i let them look up to me all they want, and i tried to be that model student but it was mentally draining on my part, too."

"i never wanted to make careless relationships without understanding people's intentions towards me. it's because i've always had poor judgement back then."

i swallowed hard and tried to keep my emotions under control. 

"and because that's how the things were, it grew on me and i became accustomed to how it was."

i looked away and started driving the moment the traffic was finally eased. there was a moment of silence between eun gyeol and i, but i let it be. i wanted to give her time to think about the words she wanted to say next.

"but you used to be warmer before.. i still remember the time i met you during the seo family's burial when you approached me and took care of me." she spoke up, reminiscing another memory this time.

at that moment, my mind was immediately hit by the memories of that dark time. 

"right... the seo family's burial. what was i even doing there? i don't remember anymore." eun gyeol suddenly took a moment to think as realization hit her.

a tragic death. i remember my parents crying about it when they received the news. my dad, especially, was most heartbroken about it.

i remember wondering how it must have felt to lose a great pal in life when i saw my father back then.

mysteriously, the seo family's death was one of those cases swept under the rug. until now, there's no justice given to them and no one knows where their daughter is.

i was supposed to meet their 6-year old daughter back then because my dad kept talking about his plans to visit the seo's residence again this time along with me.

unfortunately, they died before i could even go visit their house for the first time along with my dad.

"the seo family... they're land owners and family friends to us. they're quite known to have supported my dad a lot in his political endeavors." i told eun gyeol.

"i see. maybe my parents had some affiliations with them back then, too. i'm just glad i did come there. if it weren't for my parents taking me to that burial, i wouldn't have met you." eun gyeol smiled.

my face remained emotionless. she was so happy that attending someone's burial brought us together. maybe things do happen for a reason, but i just wished eun gyeol wasn't so insensitive sometimes.

"we're here." i spoke.

i parked the car outside her gate and stopped the engine. i quickly went out of the driver's seat and walked to the other side to open eun gyeol's door for her.

eun gyeol came out carefully and gazed at me for a while as she stood.

"back then, we were only 8 years old. so young, but i felt like i fell in love with you at first sight in that place." she continued.

i mentally sighed to myself.

"but what do kids know about love? maybe i just knew you were a good-looking boy so i developed a crush." she said with a much sweeter tone in her voice.

"i know you only saw me as a mere friend... a playmate. but then i already spoke of things like marrying you in the future." she looked down and smiled to herself.

"what do you wanna tell me?" i asked.

slowly, the smile on eun gyeol's face disappeared. this time, she looked at me with glassy eyes.

"even though you don't see me the way i see you, i just wanna tell you that the fact that you agreed to be engaged to me is what's been giving me hope this whole time. i keep thinking that maybe, you're still giving me even the slightest bit of chance to make you fall for me."

i kept silent, not knowing what to say. maybe it's because i never went out of my way to create real lasting connections with other people besides needing to work with them in school or in my business, i found eun gyeol to be a constant. 

i felt like she wouldn't turn her back against me because she's continuously proven herself to be by my side throughout the years. because of that, i thought i could just settle with her and do her the favor of being engaged to her even if i knew she wasn't the person who could make my heart beat.

"even your parents favor me a lot and have no problem with us marrying each other. people even say we look good together-"

"eun gyeol-ah." i finally spoke, calling her attention.

she lifted her head and looked at me.

"my parents' favor towards you has nothing to do with my feelings. don't get it mistaken. you can be hopeful over other things but not that."

"... it's simply because your family is the biggest sponsor of my dad that they have no problem marrying me off to you someday. you're a decent girl yourself, too. they favor you because there's nothing to oppose to." 

"that's it." i snapped her out of her misconceptions.

she looked at me dumbfounded before she started wiping away her tears while laughing to herself.

i started walking over to my car upon having no more words to say to her.

"it doesn't matter!" her voice suddenly made me halt.

i stopped on my tracks and decided to hear her out for a moment.

"whether it's business or you think i'm just convenient for you, it doesn't matter. i just wanna be selfish. you don't have to love me because it will always be my choice to stay by your side. marrying me alone would make me the happiest girl, hyungwon-ah. remember that." 

i slowly turned around and looked at her with concern showing through my face. at this point, i thought she was crazy. she wasn't obliged to put up with me or to go through everything she's ready to take just for me.

"please keep your emotions in check. it might not be love, eun gyeol-ssi." i warned her.

"no one wants to be trapped in someone else's obsession." i spoke for the last time and finally walked back to my car, leaving her outside the gates of her house as i got inside.

×××××××××××××××××××××××

happy 2k reads! ♡ i finished this chapter a day ago but accidentally deleted it right after! ㅠㅠ

this chap was supposed to be different but it ended up becoming a hyungwon-eun gyeol one as i continued to write. 

i was debating on whether to double update or not, so i will write and update the next chapter once this reaches 18 votes!

that'll be enough to give me some time! sooo, vote away because if i see the votes adding quickly, i'll make sure to update the chapter immediately! thank you~! ♡