Jacks pov

I looked at him after we had just kissed and he brought his hand up to my bruised face. My fat face. I'm just not enough. But he made me feel happy "i love you jack." Mark uttered, still gormless from the kiss. I hugged him as tight as i could, ignoring the pain from the cuts on my body which had probably been opened again. I started to sob as i found my voice again. "I love you too," i had finally said the words, loud and clear. He hugged me back tightly until I calmed down "jack? Will you be my boyfriend?" I just nodded my head with no intention to let go of him.
"Your too damn cute. I love you so much," i giggled and my cheeks became warm.

Marks pov

He giggled like the Lil smol bean he is and blushed. I have the cutest boyfriend.

~Time skip~

We walked home hand in hand and he looked up to me. "I guess now that we're a thing I should finally show you where I live. Just please don't be disappointed when you see it,"
"I promise I won't judge,"
He raised his hand and pointed to the run down old terrace house that we stood in front of. I was surprised to say the least. But jack seemed ashamed. "Baby it's okay, it's not that bad,"
he nodded his head and walked to the front door, unlocking and opening it. We both walked in and he walked over to the couch to sit on it. "My rooms really messy so I don't think you'd wanna go in there,"
"Nonsense. I'm sure it's not that bad."
"Uhh okay then." He said. He almost likes fearful of me seeing whatever was in his room. He got up and so did I.  He started to walk to his room and he opened the door. "Oh," i said, the room reflected him in a way. It was old and there was a thin blanket lay on the bed, there were multiple holes in the wall from where he had punched it and the ground was cluttered with crumpled up pieces of paper. On the night stand lay two bottles of anti depressants and sleeping pills. There were scratches on some of the Walls and sad drawings scattered the room. One was of a man, hanging from a tree and another was of a wrist seeping multicoloured blood saying 'beauty comes from within'. I felt a lump in my throat as i looked back at jack. He somehow fitted right into this room. But I didn't want him to. I want him to fit into a colourful and lively room, not a scratched up, depressing room that actually did belong to him. A tear slipped from his eye as if he knew my thought process. "Hey hey. Don't cry. It'll get better I promise, i love you, don't ever forget that. "I'm so stupid," he cried. "No. Jack. Your not, your the smartest kid I know and you have too much for your smol little hands to handle," he calmed down and we started on our class project. He talked about how depression can effect people in their daily lives, and how it effected him.
"So. Depression us one of them things where it just eats up all your energy and it kinda never let's you take a break. Your thoughts process gets fucked up and you end up not understanding things in everyday life so you try and do as little as you can physically. It drains you out because you may not be doing something physical but in your head you try and find reason to everything. It can be mistaken for pessimism. But pessimism is when you question the world, whereas depression is when you question yourself and you find the world to be nothing to ponder about. Meaning that you lose interest in the world and lose interest in studies or hobbies. It causes you to have alot of self hatred wich can lead into self punishment such as self harm, eating disorders and isolation. It causes the 'victim' to sometimes think why they were born and in alot of cases it causes suicidal thoughts. Quite a lot of people have carried out these internal wishes but many fail. Sometimes people have to be so close to death to realise that they want to be alive." He finished speaking and i finished writing. By the end we had done three pages of information on the illness. I placed the pencil down and took ahold of his hand. "Your beautiful, you might not think it, but you are everything to me,"
He smiled and our lips connected for a second. It was short and sweet. I'm so glad that he's finally mine.

Jacks pov.

Fucking fat ass fag. I don't deserve him. He's so perfect. I'm so broken, I'm a useless nobody. I feel so safe around him but I dont deserve it. I deserve to be buried 6 feet deep in a coffin. That's if I can even afford a coffin. I kissed him lightly and he smiled, of which I returned.

"I can't do this," i mumbled as my smile dropped. "I cant do it," i said as bit louder. His face turned to confusion, then fear. Before he could grab me i got up and punched the wall, making another hole. I gripped my hair and placed my head on the wall. He came close to me "stay away... please," he came closer. But he seemed so far away.i grabbed my pills and I ran... I ran so fast. I couldn't do it anymore. I went to the nearest booze shop and bought a small bottle of Jack Daniels with the money I had left over for myself. I ran to an alleyway and slid down the wall. I took a drink of the jd and felt the strong substance burn my throat slightly. I was used to drinking at this point in time. I didn't realise but I had been crying waterfalls the whole time. I placed the bottle down shakily and took out the bottle of pills out of my pocket. Then Tyler and wade walked around the corner, they smirked and walked closer to me. But when they saw the pills and alcohol their faces grew worried. They'll try and stop me. "GET AWAY. JUST LET ME GO!" I screamed whilst pouring a pile of pills into my hand. They rushed towards me. "NO NO NO. DON'T. I JUST WANNA DIE!" they backed up and put their hands up. "Jack what the fuck are you doing. Your gonna seriously regret this," Tyler said. I just looked at the pills in my hand in silence. Then wade slapped my hand, letting them scatter across the ground. "NO! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT. WHY! I JUST WANT TO DIEE!" I screamed at him. I got the jd and took a massive gulp. Before my lips could touch the liquid, Tyler took the bottle away from me. I tried to get up but I fell to my knees and sobbed instead.
"What the fuck jack. You fucking scared us," wade said imbetween pants. "Why didn't you let me die. I want to DIE!" I sobbed into my hands. Tyler grabbed my arms and immediately pulled my sleeves up. My scars had started bleeding again. "What the fuck, i didn't even know. Just. What the fuck. I'm so sorry," Tyler said, he sounded freaked out. Of course. I'm a freak after all. I got up and put my head against the wall. "Fuckin hell, whyda I have to fuckin be like this. I just want to die. I'm in so much pain. I can't do it. It's too much. I just want to die. I'm just some fat fuck up. I shouldn'tve been born. I'm such a waste of air," i sobbed into my scarred arm.
"What the fuck have i done," Tyler said, realising that they were his exact words. "Jack. Where's mark, your always with him right," i nodded to wade's words. That's when mark flew around the corner. He grabbed me from behind so I started to scream and kick "just let me go!" I shouted through my struggle.tyler and wade grabbed my legs and took me to a car which must've been Marks parent's and he drove to some kind of hospital. NO. It's a mental institution.
"NO. I'M NOT CRAZY. I JUST WANNA DIE, LET ME GO!" Mark was talking but I couldn't hear him. He dragged me in and almost immediately the staff took ahold of me. "LET GO. I DON'T WANT THIS. PLEASE. NO!" they carried me to a room... I'm in a fucking padded cell. Of course. I'm such a freak. I've gone insane. I banged and kicked the walls as hard as I could. I screamed but i got no response. Fuck. I just curled up in your a ball and cried profusely. I looked at my arms and cried more. I put my nails at the top of my arm and dragged them down, opening tons of cuts, and letting the blood flow down my arm. It hurt. Buy it was good. I could hear sobs come from outside the door. It was mark. "Mark? Please don't cry," i mumbled. He couldn't hear me because the room was almost soundproof. He definitely heard my screaming. Then I looked at my arm again and the blood was still flowing. I realised a camera and mentally cursed. A nurse came in and i backed as far away as I could. "Sean, you need to be calm. I need to stop the bleeding," she etched closer and put a tranquiliser in my shoulder. I grew tired and fell to the floor.

Marks pov

I heard him screaming and i couldn't stop crying. He was so broken. I saw him get carried away. It broke my heart. I rang his mum and she had just arrived. She came in in tears. She came up to me, in the same state that I was. "Oh my baby," she sobbed as i hugged her. Then a nurse asked his mum for his name "sean mcloughlin, please be careful with my baby," the nurse nodded and rushed into the room. I peeped through the door to see Jack leaning against the wall but his arm was bleeding alot. He screamed so the nurse put him to sleep. I placed a hand over my mouth in attempt to muffle my sobs. The nurse stopped the bleeding in his arm and put him on a bed. They wheeled him to an empty room and cuffed him to the bed. He looked so fragile. They had taken his clothes off and replaced them with a white pair of pants and a white tshirt. His mum almost screamed at the sight of her son In a mental hospital with cuts and bruises up his arms, hips, thighs and stomach. He hardly had any stomach. He was obviously anorexic. But his mother must be so distraught seeing him in this state. Nobody was aloud in the room with him. Me and his mum just wallowed, hoping that he can be helped, hoping that this isn't it for him, hoping he is still sane. We waited for around half an hour until a nurse shouted, panick attack in room A23. Sean mcloughlin," his mother gasped and ran to the room and looked trough the window. I followed. Jack saw his mother and started to panick more, tugging at the cuffs. The cuffs broke and he held his knees close. A nurse unlocked the door and i rushed in. Holding jack in my arms. "Shh Shh your okay. I'm here. Your mum's here," i cooed his breathing became a reasonable pace. "I-I'm so s-sorry," he said hugging back. "Shh. It's okay baby. It's okay,"
He soon fell asleep in my arms due to exhaustion. His mother came in and sat on a chair. "Are you his friend,"
"Umm yeah about that. I'm his boy friend," she nodded understandingly.
"I kinda guessed he was gay. He never really liked girls much," she chuckled. I smiled, jack then, in his sleep, rolled on top of me. I was sat on the bed with him leaning on me but now we are lying down with him on top of me. I giggled a bit and so did his mother. We were both in love with his cuteness. "Aww. You two are so cute," she said. I nodded and wrapped my arms around my green bean. "You know. He's tried this before. But it's never gone this far. He tried to overdose a year ago. He'd usually come home from school in tears and I'd have to tell him that it would get better. But I was never sure of that, I didn't even know about the self harm and anorexia,"
Oh. This has been going on for so long. He's grown so small. Lost so much weight. That's when I remembered Tyler and wade, they were still waiting. They found him after all. I text Tyler.

Me: he's okay

Tyler: oh my fuck thank god. He went bad shit crazy then. We are so so sorry for what we've done.

Me: okay then, according to his mum it isn't the first time you've caused this.

Tyler: oh my god. We never knew. I'm never going to even say anything mean ever again. I swear. Never.

Me: I appreciate that your apologising. But you also made him believe that he was fat. He starved himself.

Tyler: I'm such a monster.

Me: yes, you are. But that dosent mean that you can't redeem yourself.
Your a nice person. You just chose the wrong path.

Tyler: I'll try. Thanks. Send him my best wishes and wade's too. We feel really bad and we're sorry. But we have to get home or else our parents will slaughter us.

Me: ha okay bye

I placed my phone down and closed my eyes and drifted off. With jack im my arms.

~Time skip~

Jacks pov.

I'm so fat.
I'm so pathetic.
I'm such a looser.
I'm such a burden.
I'm such a fucking freak.
I'm such a failure that I had to be carried away by my boyfriend. I couldn't even end it properly. I look up to see mark. My mother is asleep in a chair, i must've worried the shit outa her. Mark woke up and yawned "Hey baby," he said as he kissed my head gently. "Hi marky," i said leaning upwards to lay a kiss on his lips. "Awww," my head snapped around to see my mother practically fangirling.
That's embarrassing. "Muummm, " i said, hiding my face in Marks torso. Mark chuckled. I blushed.

An o'so dreaded nurse walked in. I gripped Marks shirt in fear. "Sean. You have to eat. You are very underweight," i shook my head. Mark rubbed my shoulder soothingly and encouraged me. "Cmon jack. Your not fat. Your beautiful. You just need to eat. Just a bit,"
"I'm not hungry," i responded.
"You may think that but your body dosent, your too skinny, please,"
"Ugh fine," i can always just throw it up afterwards. It'll be fine. A while later the nurse brought in a sandwich of sorts and a bottle of water. I picked small bits off of the sandwich and ate them slowly. I gagged at the feeling and tried to carry on. I had taken around four bites when mark stopped me. "Jack if you feel sick you can stop." I nodded and stopped eating. I held my stomach as a tear slipped out with a sob. My mum held me close. "Oh sean, don't cry. Your beautiful you just can't see that yet," she said. I'm nowhere near beautiful. I'm fat and ugly. Mark was outside talking to the nurse about what they're gonna do with me. I overheard something about suicide watch for a month. That's like where you get followed around all day by someone. I'd be fine with that. Only if it's mark though. He walked back into the room and sat next to me. "Hey jack. The nurse wants to put you on suicide watch for a month with me. You okay with that?" I nodded "Yeah. That's fine," i sniffled and he kissed my fore head. "It will get better. I promise," he said.
"You and your mum are welcome to stay at my house, remember?" My mum looked surprised. "Are you sure. We wouldn't want to be a burden. Have you told your mother?" Mark nodded and smiled, making me smile too. "You sound just like jack," he chuckled. "Well I did give birth to the lad, " she also chuckled.
"But seriously, we've got 2 spare rooms, we'd be happy for you to stay until you get back on your feet."
"Oh mark. Such a sweet boy," my mum cooed and lightly hugged him.
Maybe it'll be good.
Maybe Mark will love me forever.

Let's just wait and see.