"Clara for the eightieth time, I'm up!" Lexie groaned from under her blankets.

          "You don't look 'up'." I replied cheekily. She threw a pillow at me.

          "How are you so awake?" She asked.

Smiling, I said, "I was up all night partying."

         "You, party? Are you sure you're not sick or something? You hate your sleep interrupted for nonsense."

         "I wouldn't have gone if I knew we were going to a club." I defended, "Besides, it actually wasn't that bad. The newbies took me, they're awesome."

     Lexie got up and rifled through the closet. "You really seem interested in them. Tell me more."

         "They're just so, so, not like any of the guys here." I said, They are all unique and special in their own ways."

         "They're all boys?" She asked.

         "Yup,"

      "Ooh," Lexie squealed, "Any catch your eye?" 

     I stayed silent, not even knowing my self. Yeah they were all attractive, no doubt. Jungkook especially, he was a real cutie. It was hard not to envy the power of how they can go from a little cutie, to a major hottie within a minute. 

        "So?" she prompted, "Any?"

I shrugged, "I don't really know. They're my friends, new friends at that. I haven't really looked at them like that."

        "Oh," She said as she finished putting on her uniform. I decided it was time to put on my own.

   After lacing  my boot, I finished the rest of my morning routine, It was so long and boring. My drawing laid inside a newly-found -more like forcibly emptied- notebook that was in my bag. Jungkook messaged me.

       "Hey, come up to our room for lunch today?"

       "Sure."

  I was just putting my phone away as Lexie came back in the room, pulling her hair up into a ponytail. Her red hair looked so pretty, sometimes I was jealous.

        "Hey I can go to the cafe with you today if you want." She said.

I turned and frowned. "Aw! I wish you would have said something like five minutes ago! I made plans."

   She looked kind of sad, "Oh, nevermind then, it's cool." She gave me a small smile, which just made me feel guilty. 

        "Come on, let's just go to class,"

     We walked down the halls in silence, suspension in the air.

        "You know you can tell me everything, right?" I say softly.

        She hesitates before nodding slowly not answering verbally. I turned down the hall to my class and watched her walk to her own before Toby ran over and twirled her in the air. I could hear her laughing.

         The gym was almost full when I walked in, all the students looking grumpy and tired. I had PE first today, it was odd. Each day our second class moves up and our first goes to last, like a line for a kids slide. I huffed a breath before going to the locker rooms, stripping and redressing once more in my shorts.

          "Clara,I told you, you need rest." The coach said as I walked out.

          "I'm better today, Coach, promise." I said

            "Fine, but you better pause if you need to, I can't have you fainting again."

             "Deal!"

             I lined up with the rest of the students and did all my laps without the slightest uneasy feeling. Proudly, I continued to push myself harder and harder during out sprinting unit, preparing for our dash race. We had five minutes to get as far as we can, my top was one and a half miles, and I planned to beat that.

               "Coach!" I screamed after I felt the ground go out from under me. Footsteps pounded in my ears, and voices shouted my name.

                "Clara! Clara, dammit, say something!"

                I was being cradled in someone's arms, Chase's I was guessing, but when I looked up, I was looking into the concerned brown puppy eyes of someone else.

               "Jimin?" I murmured.

               "Yes, Clara, good. Keep speaking please, it'll be OK." Jimin repeated frantically, more to himself then me. 

                Everyone else was quiet, though I wasn't sure if it was because they were admiring his looks or worrying about me. Maybe both.

               "Don't worry." I choked, "This happens all the time, though I usually just black right away."  

               "What do you mean 'all the time'?" He asked. "Do you have a concussion or something?"

               I knew everyone was listening and I didn't want them to hear in on my 'little condition' or whatever, I didn't need to be harassed about it.

               "Or something." I whispered. An image flashed in front of me as I lost visuals and shortly after, my hearing.

                 "I'm over here!" I called playfully from behind a bush. I turned around and saw Kookie pop in front of me. I squealed loudly in surprise and he laughed.

                 "I know." He said.   

    
                 I hugged Kookie with all my might and laughed some more in his arms. "You're staying three weeks this time, right?" I ask.

                "Yes. Father said that he and your dad have work to do." Kookie had replied with his boyish voice in glee. 

                "Yay!"

                Hand-in-hand me and Kookie walked through the garden and pointed out every splash of color, each flower, and every single animal we saw. He was dressed so formally as always with his dress pants and shoes and white button up shirt. My feet stepped bare on the grass, with my white gown flowing in the wind around me. 

               "Princess! Kookie!" Boys called. We has looked up to see a few older guys beckoning us towards them, "Time to go inside." 

               Me and Kookie looked at each other and smiled. Kookie looked up and shouted, "Coming hyungs!" Before pulling me into a run towards the other kids. They were standing in front of a huge castle with shiny silver walls, big windows and doors and just everything you could imagine in a fairy tale. 

              My hair whipped behind me as we went faster and faster. It had hardly been a few seconds but we had reached about half a mile in the gardens to the front by the castle. Before I know it, my left foot hits a small branch in front of me. My hand loses Kookie's and I'm propelled forward doing a sideways somersault in the air. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. I heard shouts as I finally hit the ground on my back, my dress now full of dust, dirt and blood that poured through.

             "Princess," Kookie said, "Are you ok?" he was holding me in his arms and brushing dirt from my face. I gave him a small smile.

            "If you're here than yes."

            Kookie smiled largely.

            The other boys came on over to us. The largest lifted the hem of my gown to reveal a gash on my leg that bled.

            "Does it hurt?" He asked. 

             I nodded. "Kinda." Kookie wiped the tears that have seemed to form in my eyes. 

            The boy nodded to another and he stepped forward to my leg. He bent forward and gave it a kiss before stepping back. His lips were covered in blood that he licked off. I glanced at my leg, it stitched itself back together until the skin was perfectly healed. The only thing that gave any proof of injury, was the blood that still lay there, drying with no purpose. Kookie lifted my leg to his lips and licked it all off like the boy licked the blood from his lips. 

            I was smiling, unfazed, as Kookie helped me stand once more and we walked gracefully into the castle like royalty.

              "I don't know what happened!" Jimin shouted. "We were in gym and she was perfectly fine until she just dropped like she did yesterday at the club!"

              "Well did she say anything this time?"

              "Uh, yeah. She said. 'I'm fine, this happens all the time.' but she also said that she usually blacks out right away, not that she's sitting dazed and able to talk while half gone."

              "What the hell?"

               I squinted in the light. It hurt my eyes, but I still opened them. Everything was blurry, but i could still see enough to know where I was. We were outside, Jimin was still carrying me like a baby, and the rest of them surrounded us.

              "Clara." Jungkook breathed,"Will you please tell us what's going on now?"

              I didn't want to tell them, shit, I didn't even know what it was. It just..happens, I don't ever remember a time without it. It just got worse and worse as I grew I guess. It used to just be the same dream every night, then not that long ago I've been seeing other things and not just at night. It was affecting my life.

              "It's nothing." I said finally.

               Suga snorted, "We all know that's a damn lie. It obviously is more than nothing." All the guys stared at me with curiosity in their eyes. I can't hide it from them anymore.

              "I-I don't know."

               "What do you mean you don't know?" Jimin asked.

              My breathing slowly regulated for a second, as I began to speak, "I don't know, alright? I've always had nightmares when I slept, but only when I slept. Everything is just getting worse and I don't know what it means." Wet tears dripped onto my cheeks, showing how embarrassed and scared I was at that moment. 

         "Shh, it's ok" Jungkook reached over and petted my hair soothingly. He grabbed me and held me in his lap. "Can you tell us what they're about?"

         "No, I can't." It's not that I didn't want them to know..I want to share my problems. It's that it just fears me, like speaking them aloud will make everything worse. Or maybe, I was just too scared to loose them. 

         Suga grumbled, probably mad because he wanted answers. They all wanted them, but all they got were more questions. Now they know how I feel. Jungkook lifted me up with him as he stood and took me over to the dorms.

        I was fading in and out of consciousness, I was so tired all of a sudden. Before I completely fell asleep I heard Jungkook whisper something. "You don't have to go to any other classes before lunch today and you can still come by us if you want. You're safe with us." I almost didn't hear him on that last part. I thought it was just a dream.
                                                              
       Upon awakening, I didn't have a clue where or who I was. It scared me for a minute, until my brain kicked in and I saw I was on my bed in my dorm room. I remembered everything from earlier, the gym accident, the confrontation and then Jungkook taking me here. I was so tired, but now I feel a hundred times better.

       Lunch started ten minutes ago and there was around thirty minutes left until I suspected the guys would have to go back to their classes. I stood and left the room before I could think about going back to sleep, it would probably be the best thing, but then again it might not.

       It was a far walk to the boys' dorms, but I made it. I lifted my hand to knock on the door of the room I was in yesterday, but I paused. Inside I heard them speaking. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help myself.

      "It's her." Jin said, "She has to be."

      "No, she would've remembered us, don't you think?" J-Hope said softly.

      "You know her memories were hidden, hyung, she wasn't allowed to remember for her own safety." Shouted Jungkook.

        I heard someone pacing around and things being knocked over and moved across the room.

       "No doubt about it, it is her. She has the memories in her head, she just doesn't remember them." RapMon said.

        A gasp came from everyone else there. "You mean you could see? None of us could!"

        RapMon cleared his throat. "Last night her mind was open, she wasn't trying to hide it and act like nothing was happening. It was probably the alcohol. She is always pushing it away even though no one can see it but her and it's putting blocks on her mind, like she knows we can see it. It still took quite a bit of concentration to get in her head though." He paused. "And I got a glimpse of today's too. She was tired, not as strong as usual. It's hard to get in her head, her self conscious protects it well. 

        "So you saw what she saw?" V asked.

        "Yeah. It was nice to see some of the little things we forgot, though they seem so big and strong to her. Probably because that's all she knew of that time."

         "Guys." Suga growled. "We've got a spy."

         When everyone went silent, I chose then to raise my hand up to the door and act as if I didn't hear a word. What were they even talking about? What did it mean and what did RapMon see? 

           "Hey?" Was my response when Jin opened the door for me. 

            "Hi" He said as he stepped past to let me in. The room was quiet and uncomfortable as it was yesterday. Everyone was staring at their feet in complete and utter silence.

            "How are you feeling?" Jungkook asked softly, coming to my side. He grabbed my shoulders and led me over to one of the beds where he sat me down before sitting himself.    

           "Better," I murmured silently. 

            He exchanged a glance with RapMon who nodded towards him. "OK," he said to me, "So, can you tell us what's going on in that head of yours now?"

           "I have a feeling you don't really need me to answer that."

            His breath was stopped sharply as Suga snapped forward. "You had no right listening to our private conversation, Clara." 

          I shrunk back with a whimper, wrong timing, wrong words. "You guys speak loudly, I'm fairly sure the whole hall heard you." However Suga didn't hear me, as Jin and Rapmon grabbed his arms and led him out of the room. 

          "Hey," Jungkook shushed me, "It's fine, he usually gets like this when he's hungry. Don't mind it." We both leaned back against the wall the bed lay next to and watched as the three walked back in. Suga sat at the desk with a paper and sulked. 

            "Well..maybe it's time to eat?" Jimin had suggested, perking up slightly. He had reached over to the closet, and unearthing the hidden mini fridge inside, where paper bags of food lay. When he took them out, everyone except me sat in the middle of the room at all small table. 

            The boys laugh, even Suga. The tension is gone. V pats the spot on the carpet between him and Jungkook. "C'mon, sit down. We don't bite."

            "Much," J-Hope replied, laughing with the others at his joke.

            I got up and sat in between them, though I was very uncomfortable. It wasn't the seating, the carpet was actually pretty soft, I just felt awkward. It was a new feeling because never have I been socially awkward in anyone's presence, ever.

           Jimin popped open the bag and the containers. Inside was a bunch of food that I couldn't recognize at all. He placed them all around the table and handed everyone, including me, chopsticks and this large spoon looking thing with a short thick handle and a deep wide base like a super tiny bowl.

            "Dig in!" He cried happily. All of the boys reached forward with their chopsticks and grabbed bunches of food that they just started to eat. Jin had just grabbed some green thing and stuck it in his mouth when Jungkook suddenly shouted,

             "Oh man, holy shit!"

{A/N That crap is so overused, I hate myself for using it too XD}

              Everyone in the room burst into laughter, even me. Jin was nearly choking. When the laughter died down, Jungkook leaned towards me and started pointing to the food. "Rice and fish, spicy ramen, torn up eggroll and kimchi."

               "Ok?"

                He laughed and took some of the rice with fish and put in near my mouth. "Try it."

                I glanced at him wearily and he sat there and just nodded, egging me on. I opened my mouth and let him feed me the food like a child. It was actually really good. I smiled and nodded as I chewed and he grinned like a sugar happy kid.

                 He continuously grabbed samples of food to have me try and ate more himself. The guys ate their food and watched us humorously. When everyone was done eating, I looked down at my unused chopsticks and looked back at the guys, they were looking at us. I felt my face heat up and saw Jungkook's as well, He scratched his neck awkwardly.

                  RapMon wolf-whistled. "Hey maknae, I'm sure Clara has a boyfriend while you two are over there feeding each other with the same utensils."

                  "I actually don't." I said confidently, "Never have."

                   Suga nearly choked, "Not one?" He looked me over, "Damn, you must be picky or something." Jin swatted him.

                   "Quit staring at her like she's an object."

                    I looked at my phone and sighed, "I'm gonna go, you have to get to class."

                   Jungkook stood to let me out, "You sure you're ok?"

                    I smiled, "Yeah."

                    "Call us if something happens. We'll check up on you later." 

                     He opened the door and I walked out and towards my own room again. I was starting to feel tired again but I knew that I wasn't going to black out into another nightmare anytime soon. They held back right now. The walk back to my dorm seemed a lot shorter than the walk to the boys. It was quiet and empty when I got in my room. Lexie was probably out with Toby again. I laid across my bed and stared at the ceiling.

 I've never felt so bored and lonely in my life.