~Present Day~ 

"There's a mission. We need all hands on deck." Master Dawntuli says through the door. "We are going." 

I rush over, opening the door, "what mission?" She stands still looking down at my disheveled appearance with a Theelin-Human standing beside her. 

"Jedi Knight Yord will brief you once you're onboard." She turns to the girl. "Master Sol's Padawan, Jecki ,will accompany you to the ship." Jecki bows her head to me and I dip my head back. 

"Let me get ready and I'll be right out." I turn back, heading to the dresser inside my room, leaving the door slid open, allowing Jecki to follow me inside. 

"It's midday and you're not dressed." Jecki closes the door behind her. 

"I was taking a nap." I take off my shirt, keeping my fully exposed back to her.

"Oh, um why?" I can hear the discomfort in her voice. 

I smile to myself, I thought Jedi were supposed to suppress their emotions. A little exposed back shouldn't affect her. It's not like I'm showing her my breasts. Although, I do slide my bra on. "Because I wanted to rest, what I do in my free time is my business, as long as it doesn't interfere with my Jedi training or practices." I dress my upper portion before removing my sweats in exchange for my pants. 

"Are you almost ready?"

I turn to see Jecki facing the wall opposite of me. "Just need my boots and belt. Can you pass me the boots at the foot of the bed?" I grab my belt off the top of the dresser, double checking the covertech of my lightsaber is attached firmly. She hands them to me and I sit at the two person table while I slide them on, zipping them closed. "Anything I need to know beforehand?" I stand and re-adjust my belt around my waist.

Jecki motions to the door then opens it for us both. I grab my robe off the chair to finish the Jedi ensemble and follow her while putting it on. "Well, we have someone joining us on the mission that isn't part of the Jedi Order." I nod for her to continue. "Well she used to be, but isn't anymore. Her sister is the one we are after."

"So we're using her? Has she been helpful at all?" I lift an eyebrow, eyeing her face for any sort of reaction. 

"So far, yes. We are hoping having her with us will allow her sister to come peacefully." Her solemn expression making her hard to read. 

"And if she doesn't?"

"That's why we're there." I nod and silently follow alongside her the rest of the way. 

Once onboard, we all stand around a holoscreen waiting for Yord to brief us on what's the plan and what to expect. I notice the girl immediately, her civilian robes giving her away. Her annoyed look on her face makes me believe she was against it, but knows it is protocol. 

"The Order stationed Master Kelnacca on Khofar," Yord begins, "but no one has heard from him in over a year. He's been unresponsive to our warning transmissions. Communication towers in the area may be down."

A droid comes to life beeping and the girl looks down at it along with Bazil, our Tynnan tracker. 

"Due to difficulties with this mission, I advise all of you to stick together." I steal a glance at Jecki who is too focused on Yord to look over at the scene playing out.

The girl's droid sprays Bazil with what I assume is water, at least for his sake, and I suppress a laugh as she apologizes. She looks at me then gets up, heading over to Jecki. They whisper briefly before Yord interrupts them. "Any questions, civilian?" 

"No, no. Very comprehensive briefing, Yord." The girl lightly teases Yord and I smile along with Jecki. 

"Hmm." Yord hums and nods, turning back to the holoscreen with the planet Khofar on it. "That is Osha. She will be assisting us on Khofar. Any questions from anyone?" Yord crosses the screen and looks to me. 

I lightly shake my head, choosing to remain silent and not push his buttons today. 

We exit hyperspace and begin our descend to the planet below. The Jedi disburse around the ship, breaking into their own conversations. I walk over to Jecki and the mystery civilian named Osha. "I'm Y/N." I extend my hand to her. 

"Osha." She accepts and shakes my hand. "Nice to meet you."

"You as well." I reply. 

"Is this your first mission?" Jecki turns, questioning me. 

"No, I've been on some. Nothing exciting though."

Lack of excitement does not mean unimportant. My own words echo in my head as if I'm telling Qimir once more on the launch pad. I can see his smile in my head. The cocky grin he has when he's won a disagreement. His hair dancing in the wind when a speeder zooms by us late at night. His eye sparkling with the city lights aglow. 

"Y/N." I'm drawn from my memories. "We're landing soon." Jecki informs me. 

"Right, Thank you." I bow my head to the two girls and make my escape to the back of the room behind everyone else. 

Once we exit the bleak ship and I see the greenery stretching miles before me, I know it's better to stay at the back of the pack as I am distracted and want my own wandering thoughts to be my own downfall and mine alone. I've thought about death and the peace it may bring. To finally see him in the afterlife and get the answers I seek... but would I be willing to die for him? Willing to lose everything to see him again?

Yord selects Jecki near the front of the crowd and instructs her to use a translation device to question the locals about a wookie, but I pay no mind as I step further from the pack. 

I calm my breathing, slowly disconnecting myself from the surrounding Jedi. Feeling the wind dance through my force and the fog engulf me. 

Qimir. I reach through the force, as I have done on every mission whenever I visit a planet off Coruscant. I'm here. I open my eyes. The fog swirls, opening a path previously not there. Qimir?  I reach out once more. 

A low growl at my shin breaks my gaze away and the tracker stands at my side, glaring at the path, then darting forward with a yellow cloth in hand. 

I look back at the group of Jedi eyeing me then following Bazil. I wait and return to my position at the back until hours later we start down a hillside and Yord is stopped by Osha. "I need to ask a favor." That's my cue to continue, I move past them keeping up with the rest of the group. They later pass by me and I continue with my solitaire. Walk at the back of the group unnoticed, complete the mission, and go home. Qimir isn't here, maybe next time. That's the hope that keeps me going. Maybe he isn't dead. I never felt his force leave, I don't feel it here, but according to the archives and texts, I would have felt such a feeling of loss and despair if he really did die. A feeling like no other pain... if the connection was as strong as I think it was... but then again, maybe it was one-sided.

Could I have dreamt up the way he blushed when I complimented him, or the glimmer in his eyes when we bantered, or the simple, unnecessary touches from him meant more. 

I'm yanked out of my train of thought when I bumped into the Jedi ahead of me. "Sorry." I mumble, then follow the direction of their heads tilted up to the dimly lit forest treetops. The sun cascades onto the bark of the trees and I realize I've zoned out for far longer than I thought. The sun is nearly set and we are still following Bazil deeper and deeper into the dense forest. 

"Sol!" Osha calls out and a creature flies around above us. 

Springing in to defend her, "Stand down," Master Sol tells the rest of us as we follow him in pursuit ready to defend whenever this creature may do. "I have it." Sol reaches for his weapon, igniting into a battle stance. 

The creature directly dives for the glowing blue blade and Sol slashes it with ease. 

"It went straight for the saber." Jecki speaks out.

"It's attracted to light." Yord confirms. 

"Let's move," Sol turns to Osha, "it'll be dark soon." He glances to the fading sky.

A feeling of unease sets in and I choose to step closer to the center of the group, following closer to Jecki and Osha.

We step into a clearing of sorts and the group silently takes different paths in the same direction looking for any disturbances. 

"What is it?" Jecki glances back to Osha and I. Unsure of who she's asking, I remain silent. 

"Um... I was able to sense that creature." We pause to give Osha our full attention. "But I disturbed it and now it's dead." Osha begins walking taking the lead ahead of us. 

"It's always an honor to witness anything or anyone transform into the force." Jecki attempts to comfort her. "Although you're had more experience with death than I have." 

"Well I could never accept death as a true Jedi should." I furrow my brows at Osha's words, 'true jedi', what is she implying?

"A true Jedi?" Jecki speaks up as we both stop and Osha turns back to us. 

Osha glances back and forth between us both. "I couldn't accept what I lost. How unfair it felt." I bow my head, looking down to my boots. Her words sting with familiarity. "The resentment I felt for my sister, even though I missed her at the same time."

Jecki steps forward, "we aren't defined by what we lose. We're defined by what we survive." She places a hand of comfort on her, "you've survived a lot."