as usual...warning

JUNGKOOK pov 

 "Sorry Jungkook. I have to go."

 I glared at him and took few heavy steps closer to him. "Jimin."

He took a step back not even looking at me. "You have no idea. But you're slowly ruining me. Just when I decided to stand up and change my life." I didn't cry. I was angry, he was a coward and suddenly he became selfish too. He never used to be this distanced. 

The one that I loved and felt more comfortable with him than anyone else. The same one is making me to give up. But I had a little strength to try and fight for us. 

 "You should move on too." Was his words.

 He finally looked at me and I saw the same brown eyes that used to look at me with love and adoration. He just stared at me before he turn around and run inside his building. 

 "Jimin! I'm not leaving until we talk!" I shouted and sat down in front of the building entrance. I lean my head on the cold wall. 

 I started thinking. What did I do wrong? Maybe it's because I was too weak. To fight those guys, and myself. 

I was my worst enemy.

I think half an hour passed when a familiar car stopped not far away from the building.

 Great. 

A tall man walked out and walked to me. I moved closer to the wall looking for something to hold on.

 "You stupid brainless idiot!" He shouted and pulled me by my hair. 

I tried to move his hand but he slapped me with his other hand. "Get up! I will fucking kill you!!" I stand up and got pulled by my hair to his car.

 I looked up at Jimin's balcony one last time. He don't even care. 

 A tear fell on my cheek. I asked myself did he ever cared? 

 .

 "What is this?" I asked my dad. He literally throw me at that chair.

 There's new phone and some money on the table. 

"I am a good dad. So I bought you new phone and this is money for tomorrow so you can buy something to eat at school." I snorted and pushed the phone and money away. 

My dad punched the desk with his fist. "Don't act like this. Be happy and thank me instead." 

I looked up at him and shook my head. "Don't ever expect me to thank you. Ever." My eyes were locked with his as I took the things from the table and went to my room. 

I locked the doors and sat on my bed sobbing quietly. 

 "Ugh!" 

Taehyung's shirt was still on me. I took it off and throw it away. I stopped and glanced at it.

 That's rude. 

After I picked up the shirt I decided to wash it so I can give it to him tomorrow.

 Maybe it's better like this. I was alone, no one cared about me. So no one is gonna be sad if I just.

 Disappeared? 

My mind was playing with me. 

Next thing I know I had my eyes on my wrist. The blood was falling in the sink.  My palms started to sweat, and I fumbled my blade. I calmed myself, and pressed it to my wrist again.  

I kept digging, listening to my flesh tear. And I felt nothing. 

I decided to decorate my other arm. 

It's not that I want to ruin my body,  but you ruined it.you did this to me.

Cuts. 

They don't make me any stronger,in fact they make me weak.

And for some reason, the loss of my own blood doesn't upset me.The loss of my dignity doesn't upset me.but, the loss of you does.  

 The Jungkook from two weeks was gone. The weak Jungkook is back again. 

The only thing that calms my hurting wrist is feeling a cold blade resting upon it. Just not cutting my skin. Late at night I hold a blade against my wrists. Because late a night they hurt.  

 JIMIN pov 

 I run trough the stairs to my apartment. 

I just wanted to hide and maybe cry, or maybe broke something, maybe scream I just needed to be alone. 

I unlocked the doors and walked inside. After few minutes of walking around my apartment in frustration I decided to Look is Jungkook still down waiting for me. 

I decided to look from the window in my room so he can't notice me. 

"That idiot." I groaned when I saw him. I gripped my hair thinking what I can do. 

 The only solution was to call his dad. I walked back to the living room and dialed his number.

"I told you not to call me!" He shouted and I sigh.

 How can this man be Jungkook's dad? 

"I need you to pick Jungkook. He's sitting in front of my building."

 "Fucking brat I will..." 

 "Listen. I don't need to hear that so can you hurry he may catch a cold." 

He just hang up. I threw my phone at the wall. I mostly used him to talk with Jungkook. And now. I can't do that anymore. 

 Not my smartest idea but I took the bottle of whisky and sat on the couch. 

 Just me and the bottle. 

Silence and that painting Jungkook gave to me. 

I opened the bottle and drink up. I wiped my mouth and placed the bottle on the table. 

For now. 

I walked back to the window and stared at Jungkook who looked so small from up here. His dad is here. 

 Can that man talk normal. He's always shouting.

 I put my head in my palm watching him pulling Jungkook to the car. 

JUNGKOOK pov

 [After one week] 

 I looked around the shop for some cool bracelets. 

 "This one is nice." The black bracelet with red details caught my eyes and I took it.

 I picked the red one so it can match.

 "Let's make something ugly as my scars in something cool." I whispered while pitting the bracelets on my right wrist. 

After I walked home from the shopping I placed my headphones in my back pocket and as I wanted to walk upstairs my dad stepped in front of me. 

I flinched and stepped back. 

 "Hello son." I rolled my eyes as I can hear the hate in his voice. 

"Can you make me something to eat. I'm working night shift." I nodded and walked to the kitchen.

 I was humming a melody while making him food. After I make it I placed it in front of him. 

I was standing down waiting for him to thank me. 

 "Jungkook?" 

 "Hm?" I looked down at him.

 "Can you move I can't see the TV from you?"

 .

 "Why is this so hard?" I groaned while staring at the book. 

If something is better since Jimin left me that's my grades. 

I smiled when I heard birds singing. My window was always open so fresh air and sunlight was always in my room. 

If not. 

I got really sad and depressed. I still don't have any colors in my room but this help too.

 I heard knocking and already knowing its my dad I wanted to jump from that window. 

I sat up on the edge of my bed and moved my hair from my my forehead and went to unlock the doors. 

 "Tell me are you fucking with another guy?!" My dad pushed me and walked inside my room.

 I almost fell. 

 "What? No!! What are you talking about?" He shook his head. 

"Can you stop laying." He took the first thing that he saw and throw it at the wall next to my head.

 I closed my eyes. What is it with him? Is he drunk? Before his job? 

 "You are fag and liar? You're going to hell." He took off his belt and and started moving back, but where can I hide.

 I was fine this three weeks without shit talking and beating. Well, not really fine but better without it.

 "I don't..." he was raging out even more when I spoke.

He walked to me and hit me with his belt on my legs, once I didn't fall. Twice I fell easily like a feather.

He began to kick me and  hitting me with his belt around on the floor.This time I tried to escape.

 I slid around the floor runninginto corners of beds, closet doors, and just plain hitting my head on theground. 

I could feel tears swelling up in my eyes  

  "Are those tears I see? Weakling! You can't cry! You deserve this so take it like a man! I've told you that a hundredfucking times!" My dad yelled.

  Our eyes locked. 

His eyes said 'I'm going to beat you and there's nothingyou can do about it."

 Mine said ˝I'm sorry, please don't.˝ But he didn't care.He continued beating me and I continued crying.   

---

JIMIN pov

˝Fucking headache.˝ I groaned while walking outside the class. 

˝I think you have drinking problems.˝ I heard Hoseok behind me. I turn around to glare at him.

˝If you don't have any painkillers don't talk to me.˝ 

He put his hand up. ˝Chill. And no I don't.˝ 

Than my eyes caught someone. And I forgot about my headache. 

Because what I saw was even more important. A fragile and yet broken person was walking in my direction. Not to my arms but to walk past me like I'm ghost. And I was the one who started this.

How could I be so stupid to let him slip away. I had him in my arms but I let him slip away. I want him back. I've already said goodbye and now love has turned to hate.

There is a reflection of pain in his eyes, as he fights back tears.Trying to figure out why he has put up with it all of these years. 

Innocence gone. 

Just taken away.  Struggling to deal with it and be free someday.

Perfect smile. Broken soul. 

When he was only few meters away I noticed he was trying to hard to look normal. His head was up, that was super weird but he was also limping. Like really obvious. I tried to look at any other signs, like bruises and I just saw one on his right cheek. He passed by me and I did nothing.

I clenched my fist. You broke the promise. I should never agree on that. 

Now we will play my game. And you are the first one I will play with. 

I looked back at Jungkook and he was already gone.

 I promised he will be safe. And I wasn't there to save him.

And that will never happen again. 

Because I will get rid of the main reason of his misery.

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I hope you kinda get what is going on ..but you will find the real truoth

...soon