I'm working on a BxB (boy x boy) story on my personal wattpad which I mentioned a few chapters back. I got a lot of feedback from people saying that they would read it so here's the first chapter which will be published properly pretty soon (If you like the first chap leave a comment and I'll tell you my name for it.)

Chapter 01: Group therapy

Monday.
The dreaded day for normal people where they have to go to work or school but it was dreaded to me for different reasons. I had the 'normal people' reason of school but I also had to go to group therapy afterwards. It made my phobia seem so much more real going to these sessions twice a week and I hated everything about them.
I tried to show my distaste as my mum dropped me off but she pretended not to notice as she gave me her 'good luck' smile and then drove off after the quickest goodbye in possibly the entire history of goodbyes. I felt myself sulk as I made my way into the old, grey building. I avoided the water fountain like I usually did because it was constantly leaking and I didn't need the drip, drip, drip of water to ruin my day anymore. To some the dripping would be therapeutic, to me it sent me to therapy.
I made my way into the room and the same smell was there as it always was. Burnt toast from the youth breakfast club in the morning but also an underlying smell of sweat from who knows where. Maybe it was coming from the newcomers who sat anxiously and were fidgeting on the hard plastic seats that made your ass ache for hours after. I glanced around the room, I swear more new people come to therapy every week.

I slumped down in my usual seat and breathed out a heavy sigh. Newcomers meant speaking about my fear... again. I felt like I already had the script memorised and I had to stop myself from snorting out a disgruntled laugh when Seth told me to introduce myself in order to "set the mood" for everyone else. Seth was the group leader and today he had his hair spiked up like he was one of us but in reality, he was in his late twenties and his youth was slipping away quickly.
"My name is Alec and I have an immense fear of water," I said and shoved a stray piece of curly hair back behind my ear. "Don't ask me how I wash myself, I've had that question enough and I'm not quite ready to answer it just yet."
I didn't mean to sound snappy but I was fed up of the newbies being shocked by my weird phobia like it was any different to their fears of fire or knives. Both could kill and both were equally dangerous - sure I bet more people die in a burning building than in the shower but it didn't matter to me because the fear was still there like it was built into my system and I couldn't get rid of it. It sucked at my stomach like I had my own tsunami living inside my chest. We were all stuck in our fucked up mind.
"A fear of water?" A girl shouted out, she was new. Blonde pigtails in her hair like she had just come out of primary school but she was about my age, maybe a little younger, I was guessing she was fourteen.
I glared at her and she instantly shrank back into her chair.
"Now, if that's everything," I addressed the room, feeling relief when silence buzzed through my ears. I relaxed and sat down. Usually, my speeches were longer but I simply didn't care today. They would learn more about me soon enough since Sean basically made me speak up constantly like I was his own little puppet helper in these sessions.
"Do you drink?" Blake blurted out.
"You know I drink you muppet," I spluttered out through a laugh.
I didn't really have any best friends, just a lot of casual friends, but Blake was the closest to one I had ever gotten. He was the only good thing to have come out of therapy and I loved him to bits but man he never seemed to know when was a good time to speak up. He let his mouth run him. It was as if the silence was a darkness that had to be filled with the light, bubbly tone of his voice. He didn't know a lot about my past so I couldn't blame him for jokingly asking me the question, it's not like he knew about the time my mum had to force me down the hospital because I was too afraid to let water or any kind of liquid passed my lips. I was severely dehydrated, I probably would've ended up killing myself had my mum not intervened.
"Let's stop crowding Alec, especially you Blake," Seth shot Blake a stubborn look from behind his thick-framed glasses.
"It's chill," I told Seth. "We'll just turn the lights off and see who's laughing."
Seth's breath got caught in his throat, he should know by now this was how we got through our sessions here. It's hard to be scared of something when you get to joke about that fear. Take Blake, for example, he has a fear of the dark and the jokes that can come from that are endless and Blake seemed to be armed with a platoon full of jokes about my own phobia.
"Well, you won't be when my tears fill up the place like a river." He made wave motions with his hands and I cringed at the thought.
"Keep those tears to yourself," I told him.
"But Alley, I need a shoulder to cry on!" He cried out suddenly and fell on top of my shoulder. He rubbed his face into my jumper and sniffed like he was actually on the verge of tears.
Drama queen, I rolled my eyes at him. I would've believed him, too, if he wasn't stifling back laughter so hard that it sent ripples down his body.
"Get off me you freak," I laughed and knocked Blake back onto his own chair, his face was bright red and he couldn't contain the laughter anymore so he let it fill the air. The newbies looked at him like he was mad, but weren't we all a little mad? We were all in therapy after all.
"Calm down, calm down," Seth tried his best to get our attention but he was like a supply teacher. His voice was too tired and calming and he had no real authority anyway. If he kicked us out that would be a godsend so he couldn't even threaten us with that. He cleared his throat and his voice echoed around the small room. "Right, what actions are people taking to combat their fear?"
"You turned your night light off, Blake?" I asked him.
"That is none of your business, Alec." He folded his arms over his chest, closed his eyes, and pouted like a little kid. The freckles littering his cheeks and his always blushing red, slightly pudgy cheeks helped with his childish act. He opened one eye and peeked a look at me. "You still avoiding getting in the bath tub, Aqua?"
"That is none of your business, Nycto." I crossed my own arms this time.
"I told you. I prefer Scotophobia!"
"Whateves, Nycto." I stuck my tongue out at him.
That was another way we dealt with our sessions; we made nicknames out our phobias.

"Alec! Whilst you're taking up the group chat time, why don't you tell everyone your recent improvement steps," Seth interrupted us and this time his voice boomed. No longer the substitute teacher but someone who demanded our attention otherwise all hell would break loose. My smile faded when he mentioned the improvement, it ripped into my stomach, sending the tsunami inside crashing against my rib cage, and it forced me to tear my gaze away from Blake. I stared at the floor, scuffing the worn out carpet with the tip of my foot.
"Ugh yeah, nearly forgot about that," I lied. I hadn't forgotten, I had tried to but how could I forget?
"Well, I didn't," Seth replied. I looked up and spotted his knowing grin and rolled my eyes.
"Thanks for that," My voice was dripping with sarcasm.
"Awe is Alley nervous?" Blake cooed and I laughed again, but it wasn't as funny as it had been last time we were joking about. Sometimes the truth struck you hard.
"Of water? Yes. Of sharing? Heck no." Pause. I was nervous, saying it made it feel more real. I had hoped to keep it locked up and then on the day it wouldn't happen, it would just poof away and be gone. I knew I was kidding myself but I wanted to kid myself just that little bit longer. "My mum's signed me up for swimming sessions."
"Wait dude! No way, don't tell me you're actually going?" Blake's joking aura shredded away in a moment and he stared at me with wide eyes.
"I kinda have to." I shrugged like it meant nothing but the truth was that I hadn't stepped into a swimming place since that day... the day when water scared me more than anything else. When drowning seemed the only visible path for my future, when I could feel the air being sucked out of my lungs. It wasn't even like I nearly died in a swimming pool or something, it might've been easier if that were the case because that was something normal that I could share. I still hadn't told anyone the truth, not even Blake.
"Dude no way!"
"Just because you say no way doesn't mean it's not happening," I commented and felt drained all too suddenly.
"No way!" He repeated.
"Blake!"
"This is huge! You're the guy who won't go outside if it's raining, or even go to the window. You're the guy who avoids tiny puddles like it's a deep hole in the ground sending you straight to hell. You're the guy who-" I had to cut him off, the list was cutting deeper into me than I was able to cope with.
"I get it, mister always has a candle lit in case of a blackout!" I sounded meaner than I had wanted to but I couldn't smile to take off the edge. Blake pretended not to notice, or maybe he just thought I was joking still.
"Blackouts are dangerous okay! I could walk into a wall," he defended himself.
"Here's a fun idea!" Seth cut in, his face was so red I wouldn't have been surprised if his penguin tie was cutting off his circulation. "How about we let others have some talk time now?" I had never been happier to hear Seth's voice before.
Quickly the attention was off me and onto the girl who had spoken to me earlier - Deb her name was, phobia of insects. I nearly outed her out on that like she had done with me but now, with all the room staring at her, she looked suddenly small and insecure. I couldn't bring myself to knock her down. I was older, I was used to this shit. I should be able to cope with it and not attempt to get petty revenge on some kid.

I looked out the window, disinterested as the girl told us a story about how she was sitting under a tree in the summer when her older brother came running through the woods with an army of bees behind him and she was stung - ever since then she had been terrified of any small insect. Seth gave her some encouraging words, everyone clapped, another person stood up. The rest of the session was just that. People spilling their guts out, Seth saying something, people clapping, another person spilling their guts out. I didn't stand again and Seth didn't make me. Probably didn't want to stop another conversation between Blake and I spiralling too out of control. I was happy to not have to talk but I wished I could distract myself from thinking too much about the swimming club. Outside the trees were blowing against the harsh winds, the clouds were piling together and I hoped the lesson was over before it rained.

Word count: 2002

An:
ALSO I'm having *minor* surgery tomorrow (just a routine thing so I can get braces) and one of two things is going to happen depending on how I am with the anesthetic:
1. I will be writing a lot more since I have the entire week off college - I'll be updating this fic mostly but I'll also try and continue the story above on my personal
2. I will be updating less because I'll be sleeping off the medication and feeling too whoozy to write.
I'm vv sure it'll be number 1 but I'd just thought I'd let you guys know in case I inexplicably go missing. Either way, I'm okay and will update asap ^-^
- Rach x

Add this to your library so you get updates please! Just posted it on my personal (Racheycane) - http://my.w.tt/UiNb/06JOp8ZSGy