"What if...?"
The world is full of these questions. Constant parallel universes with endless possibilities. Paths that lead off in two different directions and you have to choose the right one. But even when you do choose your path you can't help but wonder what would've happened if you'd chosen the other. 
What if I go to Phils game? What if I don't?
Two paths. Two possibilities. 
But, if I don't go to the game I'll constantly be wandering.
Sometimes we trust our better judgements to decide the path. 
Sometimes we pick the path that will answer all our questions. 
I picked the second path. 

I didn't tell Chris or PJ where I was going. They'd already texted me the details "just in case" and I knew they'd just meddle if I told them I'd decided to go. I hadn't even told them I was back home yet but I'd tell them tomorrow morning for sure. When I got closer to the school grounds - where the game was being held - I began to realise that maybe I should've told them because if something happened I'd have no one there to help me. 
"Have fun tonight," dad said to me as he pulled up outside the building I had hoped to never see again. "You deserve it."
"Thanks," I said and smiled half-heartedly. I pulled the handle and stepped out of the car before he could see it waver. 
The wind hit me as soon as I stepped out and I was glad to be wearing my black hoodie. I shoved my hands in my pocket, kept my head down, and followed the crowd of people into the gym. I thanked the gym for having absolutely no central heating still because I could stay in the hoodie; I realised it was easier to stay hidden in the crowd that way.

There was a pre-game dance from the school's cheerleading squad first which let me have some time to myself to prepare. Although I don't know if it helped; if anything it made me more anxious. I felt a buzz of excitement hit the crowd as the team came out. I spotted Phil instantly in his red basketball outfit that looked similar to Troy's from Highschool Musical. He looked cuter than I remembered and my heart dropped. I felt a lump swell in my throat and I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. He looked a little nervous, he rubbed his arms self-consciously and messed with his hair but quickly focused on the ball as soon as the game started. I listened to his shoes squeaking on the clean floor as he bounced the ball and charged down the court. He was good, really good. He was more graceful on the court than I had ever seen him be on the dance floor. I couldn't believe I'd never seen him play before. I forgot I was supposed to be hiding and straightened up in my seat to get a better view. That was when I spotted Phil's mum a few rows in front of me. She was further left than I was so I was able to see her face and she looked so proud of her son. Her eyes were glistening and her lips constantly curved up into a smile at Phil. She really thought a lot of him...

What if things go well?
I decided I'd still leave after the game. Seeing Phil, even from this distance, was just too painful and I didn't know how I'd manage to speak to him. I didn't know what I'd even say to him. It was better if he didn't know I was here.
What if things get worse?
The game continued but I didn't pay much attention to the score nor did I look much at the other players. Even when Phil didn't have the ball, I was still looking at him. It was hard not to.
I noticed the timer was almost at 0, end game. The scores were tied. Phil had the ball and was running down the court, the ball hitting the floor harshly in his haste. Just before the timer went off, Phil threw the ball. It hit the outer circle of the net. Every player and every person in the crowd held their breaths like one sharp outtake of air would knock the ball out completely. It circled back around and fell into the net to score the winning point. There was a loud buzzer shortly after and the crowd rose in cheers. Despite myself, I joined them. I was cheering with them as Phil fist pumped the air and high-fived his teammates.
Phil exited the court shortly after and went into the changing rooms which gave me some time to escape. People were still humming about the game, I couldn't make out much of their conversations but I got bits and pieces as I pushed my way down the row. I was nearly at the exit when I heard someone shout my name. I should've just kept walking and pretended I didn't hear anything but I turned around. I saw Phil's mum smiling brightly at me and waving me over.
What if things just go and there's nothing you can do to stop it?

"I'm so glad you could make it, dear," she told me as she grabbed my hand in hers as a greeting.
"It's good to see you again," I said and slowly freed my hand.
"And you. Phil just won't stop talking about you, I'm glad you're so close. It's a much nicer change from that Alfie character," she said and made a disgusted face like she had eaten something sour. She shook her head and smiled at me again. "You're so good for him."
Wait. She still thought I was friends with Phil? She still thought I talked to him? She really didn't know anything?
"Phil didn't tell you?" I asked surprised.
"Tell me what?" She asked and her frowning just brought more attention to the wrinkles already forming on her face. She still looked so tired, maybe Phil didn't want her worrying.
"That I was coming here tonight," I said on the spot, "you seem surprised."
"Well, he told me you were doing a lot of stuff for dance. How is that?"
"It's going well, thank you," I replied, thankful for the subject change. "I actually have a scholarship for a dancing school."
"Oh? Phil never said," she replied and I realised I shouldn't have mentioned it.
I looked at the clock at the front of the gym even though I couldn't really see the digits from where I was stood.
"Anyways, it's getting late," I said turning back to her and faking a little yawn. "I was just heading home." I pointed behind my shoulder at the exit.
"You should stay," she told me. "I'm sure Phil will be thrilled to see you here."
"I really should get going."
"Nonsense, please stay." She leant in close to me and her voice became hushed. "He seems so down lately... I think he'd love it if he saw you tonight."
What if I go home?
What if I see him?
"Okay."

I waited anxiously for Phil to come back. Phil's mum kept talking to me, filling me in with what Phil's been up to and asking me about dance. Apparently, Phil hadn't been going out anywhere and barely left his room. He just sat up there and studied. It was like his social life had just fizzled out and he was doing everything he could to distract himself. I knew how that felt... If Phil had told me this I wasn't sure if I'd believe him but I believed his mum. He really did miss me.
I heard the changing room doors close and looked to see Phil walking out, stretching his arms over his head. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me, his eyes widened and his arms dropped to his side.
"Dan?" He questioned.
"Hi," I said quietly.
At the sound of my voice, he slowly unglued his feet from the floor and quickened his pace as he got closer to me.
"What are you doing here?" He asked me.
"I'll get the car and meet you boys round front?" His mum asked and I silently thanked her for speaking before I had a chance to reply to Phil's question. For some reason, I didn't want him to know I was here for him. The thanks was quickly retracted when she kept speaking. "Will you be coming back to our house, Dan? I've set up a few snacks for the big winner." She squeezed Phil's cheeks and Phil blushed and whined at her until she let go.
"Sure," I replied even though I knew it was a mistake. I didn't want to upset her.

"You... you came back?" Phil asked me as soon as his mum left. He stepped a little closer to me. I stepped back and looked down.
"Not forever," I told him and hugged my chest.
"How long for?"
"Just for the weekend..." I replied and began to walk out of the gym.
"The weekend?" Phil asked and jogged to catch up with me. "Okay, if you're only here for a couple days and I suppose you'll only want to see me for as little time as possible-"
"You've supposed right," I agreed.
"Can I just... can we just..." he grabbed hold of my arm and I roughly pulled it away. We both stopped walking. He rubbed a hand through his hair in exasperation and breathed out. "Give me a second to sort some things out back home and then can I take you somewhere?"
"I don't know if I trust you enough to go anywhere with you..." I trailed off.
"It's only a short walk from my house. Please and then you'll never have to trust me again if you don't want to?" His eyes sparkled in a way that I could only say showed hope.
"Fine," I said with a sigh. "But be quick."
I walked away from him again and out of the school where we spotted his mum's car.    

AN: Next chapter will be the last one ;-; I'm feeling pretty emotional writing it and I hope you like the ending! 
- Rach x