I kept my promise. As soon as Miss. Chic told me I was the one they chose for the scholarship I began to pack my bags and got ready to leave.
My dad was going to drive me down but he'd be gone by tonight and then I'd be all alone in the big capital of London. I'd been to London once before but I knew without an adult around I would feel like a child getting lost in a busy shopping centre. I couldn't really figure out my emotions. I was nervous, of course, but that was all I could make out. All my other emotions were fighting with each other for the top spot but we're instead clumping together into one big ball of anxiety. My stomach was in turmoil and my head wasn't any better. The same thought had been circling it: had I made the right decision? It's been a month since I'd accepted the scholarship and I'd been avoiding Phil at school as best as I could - meaning breaks in the library with Chris and PJ, changing Maths groups, walking into school as soon as the bell went and rushing out when the school day ended. I was putting more effort into that than my actual school work but that was about to change. The dancing classes had started and it was time to go. I'd be back after summer when the classes ended and then repeat for the next few years. 

"Come on, Dan! Aren't you packed yet?" My dad called up the stairs as he madly rushed around the house. "We're leaving in ten." 
"Okay! Almost ready," I called back. 
I breathed out a quick breath through my nose and held the bridge of it between my fingers. I took a glance around my room. It didn't hold the best memories but it still held some good ones. I remember practising my dancing for the first time in here. I remember dad buying me my first console and setting it up with him. I remember having sleepovers and watching scary movies even though I wouldn't sleep after. I remember the first time mum left and dad slept in the bed with me until I stopped crying. 
"Goodbye room," I said and touched the wall. It was silly, really, because I wouldn't be gone forever but it still felt that way.
I made my way downstairs, my heavy bag bumping against my leg, and heard a knock on the door. 
"Are we expecting anyone?" I called into the kitchen.
I could hear my dad banging around as he prepared snacks for our journey. He replied with a mumbled "no" so I just carried on making sure I had everything I needed. I thought maybe I was just hearing things. I zipped my bag up when a second, louder knock came. 
"Dan, door!" My dad called out. 
"Getting it!"
I thought maybe it was Chris and PJ making a surprise visit to send me off and wish me good luck (although they already did that at school the day before. Chris even decided to throw confetti on me whenever I walked into the room in the hopes I'd be finding the little coloured pieces every now and then and think of him). The last person I thought it would be happened to appear in front of my eyes. 
I began to close the door straight away, nearly slamming it shut before his arm blocked it.
"Dan," Phil began.
"No. No, you don't get to speak to me," I interrupted.
"Just listen to me," he begged.
I reluctantly opened the door as Phil continued to block my attempts to lock him out.
"What?" I asked impatiently and crossed my arms over my chest. I looked away from him, it hurt too much to see his face again after all those weeks without him in my life.
"I don't want you to leave hating me..." He began. I saw his feet shuffling from side to side. "I really did care about you, Dan... I still do."
My head shot up when he said that. His eyes meant mine and god those eyes. I had to remind myself of everything he had done to me because if I didn't stupid thoughts of forgiving him might creep into my head. He looked so fragile and broken as he stood on my doorstep. I had to resist the urge to wrap him in my arms. I also had to resist the urge to punch him in the face.
"You have a funny way of showing it," I scoffed. I looked over his shoulder but the street was empty. "Is this another bet?"
"The bet, shit, Dan." He put his hands in his face and groaned, he then wiped the same hand through his hair and messed it up with one sweep. " I only took it because I wanted to get close to you but I knew Alfie would hurt both of us if I did it any other way."
"He hit you," I stated, thinking back to that day in the dinner hall. 
He didn't want to get hurt but Alfie still hurt him, it didn't change anything.
"He wanted to make it real."
"You let him hit you?"
"He wanted to make it real," he repeated like saying the same thing would help me wrap my head around everything.
"Why... why did you tell me to get the scholarship if you felt that way?" I finally managed to get out. It'd been something I'd been wondering since I first told him about the school. 
"Because you've never looked happier than when you're dancing," he told me and he seemed to really mean it.
"You're wrong," I shook my head.
Dancing had always meant many things to me. When I was younger it was to impress my mum and feel validated. When she left it was an escape. But when I danced with Phil or even just in front of him I did it because I wanted to and it made me happy.  
"Besides you never wanted me anyway, you pushed me away all the time," I told him before I began to fall for his tricks all over again.
"Because I felt guilty!" He exclaimed and slumped his body down. "Besides I thought you'd be better without me, without all of this here."
"You thought wrong..." I said, quiet enough for him to hear but no one else. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say so I pressed on, louder this time, "but it's too late."
"Too late?" 
"I'm leaving today," I told him. 
"I didn't come here to stop you..." He said after a moment of us sharing eye contact. "I just wanted to say that I-I love you, Dan."
Those words. My first thought was to say it back, my second was that he was lying. He'd say anything to make me believe him. 
"I have to get ready," I said and shut the door.
This time he let me.

AN: 
Oh no, is Phil telling the truth? 

Is Dan really going to London?
There's not many chapters to go now ~ 
- Rach x