I took a turn onto a corridor and couldn't see Phil but I managed to catch the toilet door sliding shut and rushed to it without thinking.
"Phil?" I called when I got there but no one replied. I sighed in defeat and held onto the side of the sink.
It was then I smelt the unmistakable stench of piss and realised all too quickly I was in the boys toilets. I closed my eyes telling myself I belonged here. It's not like I hadn't been to the boys before, just never at school. I avoided the toilets all together here. 
"Phil, if you're in here please come out," my voice cracked but I relaxed slightly when the toilet door unlocked to reveal Phil.
We stood looking at eachother for a moment.
He was probably looking at my worried, shocked and horrified face - worried about him, shocked it had happened and horrified at how badly Alfie had let his anger out on Phil's face.
I was looking at the blood running down his cheek as his earlier wound had reopened, it was swelling up. His eyes were watered over, they were puffy and red.

My legs shakily made their way over to him, it felt like I was walking on ice. I expected him to reject me, saying how it was my fault and then send me away. But he took me into an embrace and held onto me tightly.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
He had nothing to be sorry for, I thought but couldn't will myself to say anything. My throat felt tight. We pulled away from each other and I studied his face, it looked worse up close. I sighed and he leaned his forehead against mine, I knew it probably hurt him but he didn't complain.
"Let's fix you up?" I said it more like a question and he nodded. I indicated for him to sit on the sink whilst I went into one of the few stalls and grabbed handfuls of toilet roll.
I ripped a piece off, balled it in my fists, and drenched it in water. I softly placed it against Phils cheek and he flinched.
"Sorry," I said panicked and pulled away.
"No, it's okay."
"It's bleeding," I told him anxiously.
"It'll stop," he told me with a side smile but I couldn't help worrying. "Stop looking at me like I'm dying or something, it's a little disquieting." He  chuckled.
"Oh sorry!" I averted my eyes but Phil placed a hand on my cheek and pulled my head back to face him. He grabbed my hand and closed his eyes, my heartbeat rose as I wondered what the hell he was doing but not wanting to stop whatever it was. Instead of doing one of the million options my brain was spouting out, he put the wet paper that was still in my hand against his cut and I continued to pat away the blood.

"I can't believe Alfie would do this to you…" I trailed off as I wiped away a little more blood. I made a face as I thought of doing something like this to Chris or PJ, I didn't even want to think of something like this happening to them never mind being the one who did it. "I couldn't imagine doing this to my enemy let alone someone who was a friend."
"That's just how Alfie is." He shrugged like it meant nothing but this made my stomach clench even worse than before.
My hand wavered in the air and I didn't move, I sucked in a breath to get the air flowing through my lungs again.
"Has he done this before?" I didn't want to know the answer, I wasn't sure what I would do if he said yes.
"Not to me… but to others in our group yes."
"How could you stay friends with someone like that?" I pressed down a little too hard and Phil flinched back, "sorry."
Phil stayed quiet and I was sure he wouldn't my answer but when I moved away from cleaning up his cheek and on to a second wound he began to speak.
"He wasn't always like this you know," he told me and I lifted an eyebrow up at him. I couldn't imagine Alfie being any other way. "Don't look at me like that," he sighed.
"Like what?" I shrugged and focused on his cut.
"He was the only one who was there for me when my dad left," he told me.
"I-Im sorry, I didn't know," I told him and ripped off a bit more paper, wetting it just for the distraction. I didn't know how to respond, I didn't have the words in me and if I did they wouldn't be the right ones. 
"Its not your fault he was a lowlife…" Phil scoffed. "He left my mum in a lot of debt, you know, that's why she's always working. She wants to give me the best life but she used to work much longer hours and when she was eventually at home she would always be asleep."
I nodded in understanding, I felt so alone when my mum had left and my dad had focused more on work than on me. I didn't tell him that,  this was his time to speak and I could tell how hard it was for him to do so.
"I felt like I had lost both of my parents and ugh," his shoulders slumped, "Alfie was there when I needed him most."
"But not anymore," I pointed out.
"Not anymore," he agreed.
"He doesn't deserve someone like you anyway," I told him.
"What do you mean? I'm a terrible person... did you forget the things I said to you?" He asked me and honestly I hadn't forgotten but it was like this Phil was a different Phil. I tried not to think about what he used to be like.
"What you did today, defending me, that was the real you," I said. "I really can't thank you enough. I now know how hard that was for you." Standing up to Alfie like that,  a friend of his who stood by him during rough times, must've pained Phil much more than the cuts on his face.
"I couldn't just let him talk shit about you. I've been letting him do that for longer than I should've," he sounded bitter but a look of regret showed through his tough facade.
"I think you've proved yourself to me," I told him. He really had done it, I didn't think he would. I didn't think anyone would do anything just to gain my friendship and trust.
"That wasn't why I did it," Phil began urgently but I stopped him.
"I know."
Phil visibly calmed and he jumped down from the sink.
"You're still bleeding," I said and reached for the wet paper but he grabbed my hand to stop me.
"I don't care," he told me and pulled me into a hug. My heart beat so fast I thought it would explode, god Phil Lester would be the death of me. I had a mini heart attack anytime he even brushed me, my skin tingled.
But there was still that thought nagging me in the back of my head... the thought that maybe this was too good to be true. That he was too good to be true.

AN:
Wowow my teacher just sprung tomorrow's assessment on me today but I guess that means I can write more now it's out of the way 👌
- Rach x