As I waited, I heard talking downstairs. The logical me knew he was talking to his mum but the anxious me thought he was talking to Alfie. Maybe he was calling him. Maybe it was a trap. I started feeling anxious. I thought maybe he was bringing Alfie up here to beat me up as payback for what I had done. There was a mark on Phil's face, not a bruise luckily. I wondered what Phil would tell his mum.

The door began to open about ten minutes of worried thinking and theraputic breathing later. I stumbled backwards in surprise. I nearly tripped over some discarded laundry on the floor.
"It's only me," Phil told me.
"Only you?" I asked suspiciously.
"You really don't trust me, do you?" He asked me but I bet he already knew the answer.
"You haven't really given me a reason to trust you," I replied.
Phil looked a little hurt as he pushed the door closed.
He came into the room with a plate that had one of those children pizzas you can get from the local supermarket on it. He put it on the bed and proceeded to sit crossed legged on his duvet. "It's not much." He sounded as though he was apologising. He patted the bed for me to sit down. I obliged. It'd be nice to get off my feet.

I heard Phils stomach growl but he'd said he'd already eaten... come to think of it, I didn't even know that after school clubs gave you food for attending. Not that I knew much about after school clubs but none of the programmes on TV showed anything like that and none of my primary school clubs gave me food. I grabbed the cutlery that was placed on the plate and began to cut the pizza into four almost equal slices.
Phil looked at me quizzically.
"Two for me, two for you," I told him as I pushed them to opposite halves of the plate.
"They're only small pieces, have them all." He was right, at home I would have two of these pizzas and still want more but I wasn't going to make Phil watch me eat when he wouldn't be having anything. I wondered if he had cereal in for the morning but then shook away that thought because thinking about having breakfast with Phil made my heart pound too much.
"No, I only want two," I lied.
"I can hardly believe that..." Phil bit his lip. "I didn't see you at lunch today." Even as he said it his gaze dropped to the pizza. I sighed.
"Just eat the damn pizza."

As we munched away I decided to make conversation. The more I talked the longer the food lasted, I discovered after I began to talk. It was trivial stuff at first, like how cold it was outside and how slowly the day went. It dragged for me. The minutes ticked by like hours. Phil's day was the same, I felt like there was something left unsaid but I didn't press on the topic of today too much.

We finished the pizza and Phil placed the plate on his desk, balancing it on top of textbooks.
"You seem nice away from Alfie," I blurted out. It had been something I had wanted to bring up during our small talk. "What's all that about?"
"Alfie used to be my best friend." He shrugged and rubbed his hands on his jeans to get rid of the pizza grease.
"Used to be?" I asked. It seemed like a sensitive topic but I couldn't stop myself asking more.
"He was really nice but things changed when we got to highschool. Isn't it funny how people change like that?" Phil cocked his head to one side when he asked it, his face was sad.
"I wouldn't call that funny," I replied and Phil looked away. "Why do you stick with him?"
"Its... personal, " he sighed. Not in the normal, subtle way but he sighed in a way that seemed like he had been holding it in for too long. All puffed out chest before he pushed the air out of his mouth in one big burst.
"He's not your ex?" I found myself asking.
"No." He laughed then and I felt my my face heat up for some reason. "Never... it wasn't like that."
"Oh," I replied and felt relieved.
"Jealous?" He asked and I felt hot all over not just on my face.
"No!" I said too quickly.
I didnt know if I was jealous but I knew that I was worried at the thought of him being Phil's boyfriend. Phil deserved much better.

"What'll make you trust me, Dan?" He asked me after a moment.
"I'm not sure anything will..." I frowned.
I hadn't really trusted anyone since Jessica... maybe you could say I trusted PJ and Chris but Phil was different. I didn't know how to trust someone like Phil.
PJ and Chris are people you can't help but trust but they still didn't know half of what was going on in my life. Hell, I even avoided them so I wouldn't have to share what had happened to me. Did I really trust them at all? Aren't you supposed to confide in your friends and not run away?
"I'll stop being friends with Alfie if you want," Phil began and moved so he was sitting on his legs. He turned to me and grabbed my wrists, I nearly moved away but didn't. "Or - or I'll try to get him to be okay with you."
"That won't work. Not with Jessica there," I told him and finally prised his hands off me.
"I'll work something out," he told me and he looked genuine. "I want us to get closer but I don't know how to make that happen. I like you, Dan."
"Prove it," I told him.

AN:
I'm going to start writing a BxB (boy x boy) story on my personal wattpad called "aquaphobia". Would anybody read it?
- Rach x