I walked away from him after he spilled his heart out to me and begged us to start again. Start from chapter one. But I couldn't just erase what had already been written, my past was still there in the open. My past with Phil had already happened so I wasn't rewriting our time together from scratch but more starting a new chapter.
Except, I wasn't even sure if I was done with this chapter yet. There was still so much more that I had to yell at Phil about. I had to scream at Alfie and my mum and even my dad.
I wanted to get everything off my chest before I could even think about turning over to a new page. But, for some reason, when Phil looked at me with those glistening blue eyes I had to agree with him. I had shook his hand and I must admit that I had wanted to start over but now he was no longer by my side I was questioning it all.
I was questioning him.

Everyone else in my life were easy to figure out;
PJ and Chris care for me, my dad works too hard but he does what he thinks is best, my mother left us and now she hates what she's come back to, Alfie likes to bully those he believes to be beneath him and Jessica was never my friend to begin with. But Phil? How would I explain him. It would take paragraphs to write up his personality alone. Then his intentions would take up pages but it would all be theoretical because I don't actually know a thing about Phil.

I know he plays basketball. I know he's nice to me without his "friends" around.  I know he's in the popular gang.
What I don't know: if he's actually a nice person, if he cares about me, if he hates me, his favourite band, his favourite everything.
There's so much to discover but the more I picked at Phil Lester, the more confused I became.

The school bell rang for the end of the day. I skipped Drama so I wouldn't have to face Chris and PJ since news travels fast in school, apparently, and I didn't want them to interrogate me about what had happened. At least no one had told the teachers. I managed to stay tucked low all day, sailing through the rest of my classes as nothing more than a ghost who took notes.
I realised my problem was escalating when I stepped outside the gates and wondered where to go. I couldn't go back home, not yet. I didn't want to see my mum, especially not after what had happened today.
I wondered if I should go back to Chris's house. I wasn't sure if he even wanted me there or if my stay was weekend only. I hadn't been able to ask him, since I was avoiding him because I'm completely thoughtless like that. I let my emotions take hold of me too often. 

It was raining but I didn't care.
I was out late, I hid in the toilets for ten minutes so I didn't bump into anyone I knew - friends or bullies. The air felt fresh and the rain took my mind off my own life. I sat down by the gates, a tree hung over me and the outstretched branches with leaves dangling from them acted like an umbrella as it sheltered me. I watched the the rain drip, drip, drip. It was therapeutic,  in a way.

It quickly started to become cold. I was shaking from head to toe, I wrapped my jacket around myself but couldn't stop shivering. It was getting darker, it had been about an hour since school finished. My phone had died half an hour ago so I didn't know the exact time.
"Dan?" I heard a voice and flicked my head up. Phil stood above me but I didn't get to say anything to him because he hurriedly kept talking. "Jeez, you look frozen through!" I felt something warm being shoved over my shoulders and then I was being lifted up.
"You'll be cold," I told Phil as I noted he had given me his jacket.
"Don't worry about me!" he burst out. "Come on."
He pulled me closer to him and he felt so warm, I could've melted into his side there and then. I was too cold to care about anything else.
"Where are we going?" I questioned after a few minutes. My legs felt like ice and wet hair clung to my face. My feet were numb from the cold and I wasn't sure how long I could continue our journey.
"My house."
I stopped suddenly. Phil's house!? What if it was a trap? What if I met Phils parents? I've never met a boys parents before...
"You okay?" Phil looked worried.
I had to tell myself that going to Phil's wasn't an important issue because I knew I had no where else to go.
"Yeah," I told him with a nod and he led me through the streets.

AN:
Fun fact! The last chapter was going to be the end of the book in my original draft. Now I have about 20-ish more chapters planned whoop ~
- Rach x