I was thankful of Chris. He let me stay not just for the night but for the rest of the weekend too so I was still lying on his bed when he woke me up Monday morning. He had opted to sleeping in his parents room although I told him he could have his bed but he objected. I was surprised he didn't say we should share it since he seems far too flirty for his own good but he gave me some space and I was thankful. That time alone seemed to have gone as he began to shake me.
"No," I protested, "five more minutes." My voice was thick with sleep and my eyes hurt from staying up half the night and crying myself to sleep when the light finally began to shine through the curtains. No matter how much of a brave face I managed around Chris, it always seemed to slip away when I was alone at night.
"Come on, mother Chris needs you to get up," he told me sweetly.
"Nope, I'm staying here today," I mumbled and pulled the covers around myself.
"Don't you want to enjoy the glorious day?" I felt the bed push down under his weight as he jumped over me and opened the curtains to let the early morning shine through, although it wasn't exactly light.
"Not really."
He tutted and got down from the bed.  I didn't hear him for a few moments and I thought he might have left me to catch a few more minutes of sleep.

I felt the bed shift as Chris sat on the edge. He stroked my hair softly.
"You decided about Phil yet?" His words were soft but it didn't matter because they hit me hard anyway.
"Can we not have this conversation?" I muttered and shoved the pillow over my head so my nose was smushed against the mattress.
Chris removed the pillow and I felt the cold air hit me. He threw it on the floor and I finally looked up at him sensing I was in a losing battle.
"You're not going to speak to him, are you?" He looked worried and I knew I couldn't ignore the subject any longer. He had tried to get me talking about Phil all weekend but whenever he was brought up it was always the same: Chris telling me how bad he is and me skipping over the issue and changing the subject to something easier to talk about.
"No... no I'm not, you were right," I sighed, "Just because he was nice to me once doesn't mean he will be again and I get that."
"I'm not sure you do," Chris said as he shifted on the bed. He frowned and again I was reminded that Chris would win the conversation no matter what I said. Even when I agreed with him he still knew what I was really thinking. I was thinking that Phil may only be bad when Alfie was there. I was thinking that Phil was only a jerk because of peer pressure and the Phil I had seen at dance was the real one.  Full of insecurities but also funny and kind.
"I do," I told him. "Now let's just get ready and go school," I said hoping he would leave the room. I attempted to push him off the bed so I could get up myself. 
"I'll be looking out for you today you know," he replied as he got to his feet. "You've had a rough weekend and the last thing I want is for you to be hurt more."
"Thanks. I appreciate it." I looked away from Chris. I understood that he was only worried about me but I didn't want him to be. "Now would you mind?" I indicated towards the door.
"Aw I wanted to look at that smoking bod," he said and immediately put on a flirty smile and raised his eyebrows suggestively. I smiled despite myself.
"The only smoking bod you want to see is PJs," I reminded him.
"Shh he might hear you," he looked panicked and I laughed.
"He lives like 10 minutes away, I doubt he'll hea-" I began but Chris put his hand over my mouth and shushed me as though he were in the next room. I laughed and pushed him off me. I finally managed to get him out  and dressed myself in the same clothes I had worn the day before, I didn't think I would be gone this long when I began packing and had already run out of clothes... I knew I'd have to go back home soon.

"Chris..." I began as I made my way downstairs, there was a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea on the kitchen table waiting for me like there had been the morning before.  Chris sure did know how to be a wonderful host.
"What's up?"
"I... I need to go back home before we go school," I pushed the words out of my throat. Chris frowned so I continued, "I don't have my school bag or any of my textbooks."
"That's fine, we'll get Peej first and then go your house." I gulped and he must've seen because he stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder, he rubbed his thumb against the fabric of my shirt. "I can go in for you if you let me know where your stuff is," he offered but I shook my head.
"It's my house, I don't want to be a stranger to it because of my mum," I told him and he nodded in understanding.

I finished my breakfast slowly, the time seemed to be moving far too quickly.
"We need to leave now if we don't want to be late for school," Chris told me.
"Would that be such a bad thing?" I laughed humourlessly as I stood up with my bowl.
"Just leave it on the side. I'll clear it away later," he told me instead and I nodded. I half smiled at him and he returned it.

I hopped from one leg to another as Chris locked up his house. I shoved my hands deep in my pockets as we walked down the streets to PJs house. Chris was quiet. I fount it odd the first time he was quiet but I realised he only did it when he knew I needed time to think... I wish he didn't think now was a good time to not speak. I begged for the distraction.
"Glad to see you PJ," I said as we made it to his house to see him already outside waiting for us. "I was half scared Chris had left you locked up in his house."
"Shut up dude," Chris laughed and playfully pushed me.
"I'm surprised he hasn't tried that yet," PJ told me with a wink and waited for Chris's reaction.
"Man, don't do dis," he begged and fake pouted causing PJ to laugh.

All too soon we were walking again. I was too busy working out the chances of mum being at home to pay attention to whatever Chris and PJ were talking about.
"Dan?" PJ saying my name finally pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Huh?" I asked.
"You doing okay?" PJ repeated.
"Oh oh yeah, yeah never better," I lied and put on a fake smile although I knew PJ would see right through it.
"Good..." He trailed off and bit his lip. "We're both here for you if you ever-"
"- I know," I cut him off as I had already heard these same words spoken by Chris. "I really appreciate it."

-

I saw the house looming ahead. It looked odd. I expected it to look different somehow but it was still the same house I had grown up in.
The door was unlocked when I got to it. I knew someone was home and that someone couldn't be dad since his car was out of the driveway. I took in a deep breath and snuck inside. I heard the TV blaring in the living room but luckily all my books were in my bag in the hallway.
I grabbed it and was about about to leave when my heavy bag banged against the wall and sent a loud noise through the house. I froze.
"Becky? Is that you?" I heard a voice call and tried to sink into the wall when my mum came into view.
"No it's Dan," I replied.
"Oh shut up with that would you?" She wasn't impressed at all. She looked tired and pale, he skinny arms were crossed over her chest and she held herself tall although it seemed like she would break down at any moment. 
"No."
"Why haven't you answered your phone? Where have you been? I've been worried sick!" She exclaimed.
"Why? You should be used to not seeing me," I scoffed and rememebered all those months I went with not even a "hi" from my so-called loving mother. "A weekend is nothing to you I'm sure."
"Don't give me that attitude, Becky!" Her jaw clenched. There was a knock on the door, probably Chris coming to check up on me. "Is it those friends out there?"
"Leave them out of this," I told her and jumped infront of her, blocking the path to the front door.
"No! I will not." She tried to push past but I stood my ground. "Are they the ones that... made you like that?"
"Like what?" I challenged.
"You know what I'm talking about. Stop being so stubborn! You never used to be like this," she said as she stepped back seeing that I wasn't going to let her anywhere near my friends.
"And you never used to be a heartless bitch but I guess people change," I told her, letting anger and not logic take over my words.
"Don't you call me that. How dare you-"
"How dare I what?" I asked and raised an eyebrow. She'd said worse to me.
"I am your mother and I will not be made out to be the villain!"
"You're barely a mother, you make a better villain," I said smugly.

She looked shell shocked, her mouth opened as though she couldn't process what I had said quick enough to come up with a response. I was breathing hard, there was so much adreneline going through my system that I barely registered the sting that came across my face. I brought my hand to my cheek and felt where she had slapped me, the pain spread like fire.
"Oh, Becky," my mum said softly as she held her hand out to see what she had done.  I recoiled from her touch.  "Look what you made me do you stupid girl!" She was angry at me but she soon changed her tone. "I didn't mean to."
"Whatever," my voice was void of all emotion as I turned to leave.
"Becky!" She called me by my dead name, I didn't reply. "Don't tell your dad..."
"Is that all you care about?" I muttered but didn't turn to look at her. She didn't care that she had hurt me, both emotionally and now physically, she just didn't want dad to know - so she could continue living in his house I supposed. I froze at the front door and my hand hoovered over the handle. "Should've known," I mumbled to myself as I let myself out.

AN:
Oh boy I wrote another chapter, it feels like it's been so long! My birthday ended an hour ago whoop, it been a good day but I feel old now as I'm 18 😂
- Rach x