I knocked on and waited.
"What part of let yourself in don't you understand?" Chris' lips immediately pulled into a smile and his eyes crinkled up as he pulled the door open fuller to let me in.
"The let yourself in part," I concluded. Trying to make a joke although it was hard to when my voice sounded as dead and flat as I felt.
"You look like crap," he told me but there was genuine worry in his voice. He plonked me down on his sofa and tugged a blanket around me, I didn't protest and appreciated the warm feeling as my frozen muscles began to wake up. "Hot chocolate?"
"Please." I nodded and he sauntered away into the kitchen where I heard him clink cups around.

I'm not too sure how long he was gone but I knew it wasn't enough time to get my head around telling Chris why I was here without letting things about my gender slip out.

"Extra whip, extra marshmallows for my sad little guy," Chris told me as he handed me the drink and gave my cheeks a quick pinch like he always does. I doubted he would ever learn boundaries but I hoped he didn't because I knew he was only trying to show affection and I appreciated it.
"Aren't your parents home?" I asked, hoping to buy myself more time than out of genuine curiosity. 
"They went away for the week, second honeymoon or something."
"Ah." I nodded. "Picked a good time to decide to run away from home for the night ay?" There was silence for a moment, I could hear a clock ticking somewhere in the distance.
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Chris finally asked me before quickly adding, "No pressure, you can stay here no strings attached but you can't be helped if you don't share."
"To understand you'll have to know something about me that I'm not sure I should share," I replied and bit my lip. Chris was probably the kindest and most warm hearted people I had ever met and yet I was still terrified to tell him. Like I thought he would suddenly turn evil and kick me out of his house because of it.
"I'll be here for you no matter what. You could tell me you raise pythons in a secret compartment in your pants and I'd not make you feel unwelcome... although the snakes would be a different issue entirely. Sorry, got side tracked." He rubbed the back of his neck and he seemed a little uncomfortable.
"Its nothing," I said and hoped he'd drop it. I couldn't imagine an evil Chris existing but even so, I couldn't drag him down to my grey cloud when he so clearly lived on cloud nine.
"No, I was trying to be funny and I won't be doing it again. I'm fully here for you," he told me and I believed hi..
"You've probably already heard this at school so I might as well just get out with it... " I stared into my hot chocolate.  The marshmallow was already melting into the drink. It was easier to stare at that than at Chris. "I'm transgender," the words felt weird as they moved past my lips. I felt like I wasnt speaking them,  as though I were watching myself say it. I had to breath out deeply to help myself understand that I had indeed just told Chris. Chris was silent and I felt a huge weight pound into my chest. I shut my eyes tightly. "You can make me leave if you want but-"
"- I know," he interpretation me.
"You.. you know?" I stuttered and looked up surprised. 
"I knew from day one," Chris flashed me a small smile, "Me and Peej thought you looked familiar and when we heard the rumours about you we remembered you from primary school."
"But you still call me Dan?" I asked confused.
"That is your name," he said with a chuckle. He acted like I was the most normal person in the world.
"But... but you didn't bring it up," I continued.
"It wasn't really my place to," he told me seriously and it was the first time I had ever seen him that way, "look Dan, you're a dude and I get that. It doesn't really matter what parts you have."
I sat still for a moment. Trying to comprehend the idea that someone other than my father could accept me for who I was. My hands were shaking as I sat up and placed my cup on the coffee table. It clinked against the glass and I felt the weight lift off my chest.
"Are you okay, Dan?" Chris asked comfortingly but I didn't answer with words.
I pulled Chris into the biggest hug I could manage instead.  He instantly wrapped his around me and rested his head on my shoulder. I felt safe.  I felt happy that I had a good friend like him who accepted me with such open arms.
"Thank you," I said through tears.
"It's okay, Dan."

After I finished my break-down I told him everything. Once I started talking about my mum I ended up saying how she left when I was younger and then my argument with my mum seemed a million lightyears away as I told him about how Jessica had treated me when she found out and about Alfie and Phil treating me like dirt but then how Phil was so nice to me when it was just us.
"I think I like him... but how can I like someone like him? He's just a sheep following the shepard right now."
"You can't help who you like... even if that person is a dirtbag on legs," he rolled his eyes and took a sip of his hot chocolate.  He tried to act serious but I burst out laughing when a whip cream mustache took place on his top lip.

I finally got to the argument with my mum.
"Tell you what," he began in his comidic Chris voice that I had become accustomed to these past few hours.
"What?" I encouraged the joke.
"I'll adopt you and we'll show her up! I'll be the best mother and have a lovely son at my side, win win,"
"I'd like that," I laughed, "sign me up."
"I'll get the legal work set up."

I didn't know if it was the sugar from the hot chocolate or Chris' infectious laugh but I felt happy for once in a long time. The world can knock me down but I'll always get back up. I just get up faster when I have someone like Chris to help me.

An:
I haven't proofread any of this but I'll edit any mistakes when I finish college
- Rach x