I looked out of the window and saw a women standing outside the door. She was too old to be anyone from school from what I could see. She had a thick, cream coat tugged around her and a wooly bobble hat although it wasn't that cold outside. She rubbed her hands together before knocking on the door.

Seeing that it wasn't someone from school I walked towards the door and opened it up. The women looked at me shocked for a moment and I froze. I knew those eyes so well, the last time I had seen them had been through a phone screen. She looked different but still the same, older and more tired but she still had the same thin lipped smile and pointed up nose.
"Mum?" I got out, my throat suddenly felt sore and it closed up. My stomach clenched. I wanted to hug her, I wanted to push her away, I wanted to tell her I missed her, I wanted to scream at her for leaving. "What are you... what are you doing here?"
"Becky, let me in I'm freezing out here," she said to me and suddenly the reality of the situation crashed down on me.
She didn't know I was Dan.

I opened the door for her more and she made her own way past me and into the living room. She put her coat on the hook that used to be hers and sat in the seat that used to be hers. I'm surprised she remembered, it was like she'd never left. But she had.
"Come sit down, Becky, how's school going?" She ushered me over like I was the guest and not her.
I stayed standing by the door of the living room, half in the room and half in the hallway.
The stranger wearing my mum's face turned around to look at me.
"Becky!" She stood up and moved closer to me. "What happened to your hair?"
In the light of the living room she could see my messy boy hair and reached to touch it but I moved away and finally sat down. She sighed and sat down again too.
"I had it cut, no biggie," I mumbled.
"I know this is a shock to you." No kidding  "But you don't have to treat me like some stranger." She laughed half heartedly and she triggered a sore spot inside me that had contained all my anger towards her these past years.
"How do you want me to treat you then, hey?" I raised my voice a little.
"Like your mother," my mum said, her voice stayed at the same level but she somehow made it more stern.
"You haven't been very much of one lately. When was the last time we talked, how many years ago?"
"You know I've been busy," she waved if off nonchalantly.
"Too busy to talk to your own child? Really?" My voice cracked but before she could reply I heard the front door open.

"Dan! Sorry I'm late," my dad called into me and shuffled into the room. Unlike my mum had been, my dad was dressed for summer (although it was the begining of winter) as he wore only a short sleeved work tee and jeans.
"Dan?" My mum looked at my dad confused and then turned to me. "Who's Dan?"
"Me, I am," I mumbled.
"Clair..." my dad's voice was filled with shock and his face showed me that he wasn't expecting to have the women who left him for a different country to be sat back in his living room.
"Anthony..." My mum's voice was calm but I knew it wouldn't last long. "What is Becky saying? Why are you calling her Dan?"
"Dan, go to your room for a second okay?" My dad told me.
"Will you be alright?" I asked, worried that my dad would get the bad end of my mum all because of me.
"Yes," he reassured me.
"No, she isn't going anywhere!" My mum cut in. "Not until you tell me what is going on!"
"I'm sorry but only people who have been in my life this past year get a say in what I do," I breathed out, "I'm going to my room."
"Becky!" She called after me but it was too late because I was already rushing up the stairs two steps at a time.

I could hear them yelling from my bedroom. I put my ear against my bedroom door to hear them more clearly.
"What has happened to our Becky?" My mum's voice was the first and the loudest of the pair.
"Our? How funny is it that he's only yours when you see fit," I heard my dad laugh harshly and silently thanked him for being on my side.
"He? Dan? What's been going on!? What crazy thought have you put into her head?" Mum was shrieking so loudly I was sure the neighbours would hear.
"Dan is transgender! Something you would know about if you'd been here instead of leaving," my dad argued.
"Transgender? She's just confused because she hasn't had a female role model around."
"Even if it were true, which it isn't, whose fault would that be?"
"Don't turn our daughters disorder around on me!" My mum spat the words at him.
"He hasn't got a disorder."

I slumped down on the ground and brought my knees to my chest. I banged my head against the door but my parents didn't hear the noise through their heated argument. I left my head leaning against the cool wood so I could still hear their voices. I didn't understand why I was still listening when every word tore me apart inside.
"Then how would you explain what she's done to her hair? And that she's changed her name?" Mum continued yelling. I felt tears flood my vision and closed my eyes but it didn't stop them from falling.
"This is who he is. What are you even doing here?" I could tell my dad was getting tired of her already.
"I-I got some time off from work and thought I'd check in." Her voice was lower this time so I had to strain to hear her.
"You should've called first," he told her straight.
"Well last time I checked this is my house."
"It's in my name, Clair," my dad muttered bitterly.
"Do you want me out? This wasn't the welcome I was expecting." She raised her voice again but I could tell the argument was fading away. It was like after the end of the fireworks show. After all the booms and bangs that are so loud they pierce your eardrums, you get the smaller fireworks that make little noise in the sky so to calm everyone down.
"But it's the one you deserve," he said and there was a pause. I lifted my head up wondering if the argument had ended but he continued, "you can stay here only on the condition... that you accept Dan."
"Accept that? How can I? I left with a daughter and come back to find I have a gender confused one?" My mum scoffed.
"Either accept that you have a son or get out!"
There was another pause. I expected to hear the front door bang as my mum left us again but I heard something completely unexpected.
"Fine," my mum said. It was quiet and mumbled but I could make out what she was saying. "I'll call her Dan if that'll make you happy... I just want to know what happened to my little girl?"

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and shrank away from my door. My dad, I could tell it was him, walked past my bedroom and I heard his bedroom light flick on. 

I knelt back against the door and closed my eyes. I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand.
A part of me wished it had been Phil and Alfie at the door because at least I could ignore them or get them out of my house easily. How was I supposed to just push my mum out? It'd be so easy to turn her away but she was my mum afterall. I'd have to accept that fact even if I didn't want to.