Authors note - I suck. Its been like three weeks and no one probably cares about this anymore :/ I've just had some drama of my own going on so yeah, sorry about that if you vote and comment I will keep on writing!!!

Thanks a lot lovely fans =D

Cat-eyes x

2

Jocks.

A particular branch of high school clique I couldn't stand. I would rather shoot myself in the foot than have a ten minute conversation with one. Repeatedly.

Every high school has them, crawling all over the place like cockroaches, grunting and throwing there stupid weight around. Plus the dumb bimbos who threw themselves at them, idiots. I would be surprised if they can two brain cells between them.

Anyway Jude Steele just happens to be a jock.

Not just any old jock though, the worst kind. The pinnacle jock, the top of the pile, king of the jocks.

He had the whole annoying package. Captain of the football team, a stupid amount of money to throw at things, a complete womaniser, didn't believe in speaking when he could grunt and had a skull so thick his brain was unreachable. I looked at him walking towards me, feeling a growing amount of disgust bloom in my stomach, sure he was alright looking but it didn't mask the ugly jock just underneath the skin. Everyone in the class watched him walk to the des, whispering because after all what the hell was he doing here? This was creative writing class, no jocks took this subject. At the front, Ms Siler was talking but I was having trouble listening, I was just so confused as to what Jude Steele was doing sitting next to me, he was silently staring, making notes and just generally looking like a normal pupil. He didn't even speak until Ms Siler stopped talking and started handing out homework sheets.

'You're Hazel right?' he said, leaning back on his chair. I turned my head in his direction.

'Hmm' I replied, wondering why he was bothering to talk to me, he probably thought I was below him.

'Oh right, I'm Jude.'

'I know' I said, looking straight ahead.

'I've heard of you-'

My stomach dropped.

'-You're dating that guy aren't you? Edam Sandler or something?' he paused, chewing on the end of his pen 'what a pretentious tool.'

'It's Ethan Samuels' I replied, shuffling my paper so I didn't have to look at him 'and he's not a pretentious tool.'

'Good point, he's up his own ass as well' he grinned 'you must know that he is, you've been dating what... half a year.'

'It's nearly two years actually, on my eighteenth birthday. How long's your longest relationship been? A week?' I smiled sweetly at him.

'A month actually, but seriously this Ethan guy... our gym classes were put together for a month last year, all he did was talk about himself, oh and hitting "that"' he motioned to me.

'Shut. Up' I said, gritting my teeth. Okay so in two minutes I already wanted to punch him, this looked like it was going to be a great lesson for the rest on the semester.

'How is it that I'm getting a vibe that you don't like me?' he asked.

I looked at him; eyebrows raised 'maybe because I hate you.' I suggested. The bell went off at what was possibly the best possible time, and I slid off my chair and walked coolly out, even though inside I was burning. How could he say that stuff about Ethan? He didn't know him. I knew him and I loved him, right then I loathed Jude.

And as for "hitting that."

I groaned, frustrated, and pushed open the door into the nearest toilets. Being around Jude and the way he was talking reminded me way too much of something I never wanted to think about again, it was so far behind me. I walked up to the sink and splashed cold water onto my face, I wasn't crying, I just wanted to cool myself down, I gazed back at my reflection I looked angry but the person who looked back wasn't who I half expected to see. I smiled slightly because I liked who looked back a lot better. My neck jerked upwards as I heard the door open, a group of girls dressed in cheerleader outfits came giggling in to apply lip gloss and talk about boys. I watched them wryly, feeling more out of place than ever then slipped out the door.

'Honestly, how a guy like him ever gets transferred to creative writing is beyond me' said Suzan, she opened a packet of crisps glancing at the jock table.

'Believe me, same feelings here. And he said things about Ethan' I sighed, shifting the fries on my plate around with my fork.

'How can anyone say anything bad about Ethan' she demanded 'he's perfect.'

'I know' I smiled, thinking about him. It had been so long and I missed him so much, I remembered our last night together... perfect. I felt the isolation from my friends that my love for Ethan had given me again and glanced around the table. I had been with the same group since sophomore year and they were like my family. Sure, they weren't the coolest group of people, if there was a party, we might not get invited, and not everyone knew who we were, but that didn't matter. They were all nice, genuine people I wouldn't change for the world.

The green light shining from the digital clock by my bed said it was 1:27am, but I was sat up in the darkness of my bedroom, eyes wide open, stifling yawns as I listened to Ethan talk about his day.

'It was so amazing Haze, you should have seen the view. One of the best moments of my life' he said.

I smiled 'I hope it was' I replied.

'Yeah, tomorrow we are just around the hotel all day, I'm thinking of writing up this song I was thinking about' his eyes were shining, I realized he was truly happy with what he was doing now... it made me almost sad because he was happy being away from me.

'What's it about?' I asked.

'What's it about?' he hesitated 'it's about you Hazel.'

I felt my stomach warm and my heart speed up momentarily. He always used to write me songs, but it had been about five months 'I love you so much Ethan, you know that?'

'Of course I do' he grinned 'I feel the same.'

'I gave in my final piece this morning, well yesterday morning' I said.

'For what?' he asked.

'The competition' I replied, surprised he had forgotten 'I've been talking about it for months.'

'Of course, yeah... sorry' he looked apologetic 'promise you'll get someone to video it and send it to me?'

'It's for you' I said 'I wouldn't have it any other way.'

'I miss you Haze, I wish I could touch you, hold your hand for real. I haven't kissed you for over three months do you know what that's like?'

'I'm feeling it too Ethan.'

'But I don't think I can describe how much I miss you.'

'I can't even begin to explain it' I gushed, feeling tears develop slightly in my eyes, I tried to smile through it.

'See, I want to tell you it's going to be alright, but properly' he looked a bit sheepish and my heart stuttered. 'Just five more months huh Haze? Less actually, more like four and a half months. Two hundred and one days I think. We can do two hundred and one days right?'

'I love you' I said. It was that simple.

'I will always love you Hazel Nash' he put his hand on the keyboard and I put mine down, I could almost feel it, his rough hands on mine warming them. What I longed for so much, what I used to take for granted every day. My mouth went dry.

'Why can't you come back now?'

He laughed 'this is what I've always wanted to do, I can't give up on my dreams just so I can have eight months with you. I want to spend my life with you.' His eyes stared back into mine and for a moment I felt like he was there with me, that I wasn't so alone. Then a voice behind him interrupted it, and the moment shattered.

Ethan turned round, then back towards me 'I've got to go Hazel. Bye.'

'I love you.'

'I love you more.'

'I love you so much more than that.'

'Let me add about infinity on top of that.'

I smiled 'goodnight.'

'Sweet dreams babe.' He closed the laptop as I saw someone appear at the doorway. I shut mine down, feeling a heavy feeling in my chest, a mixture of deep love and sadness that he was gone. Like he said. Two hundred and one days. I looked at my calendar, it was basically a countdown until he got back.

As I lay down in my welcoming bed, images of Ethan ran through my mind making me smile and relax. But just as I was falling asleep someone else appeared in my mind, then relaxation was completely impossible. Jude Steele.

Fucking. Jude. Steele.

Eurgh.

I sat upright, feeling a surge of anger. I couldn't even understand why he was pissing me off so much, everything he had said was such a load of bull shit it was easy to ignore. It was probably because when I had been talking to him he reminded me of that something, that someone I wanted to forget.

That whole year actually.

I flopped back in my bed, my mind overworking until I could almost smell burning. I hated my brain so much. I had to bring back things like that.

Now I was never going to sleep.