SHE DIDN'T END up going out that afternoon with Brie and Lila. For starters, she hadn't wanted to (she was tired), and both girls were busy. Or at least that was what they said when Livia texted them shortly after her conversation with nai nai.

So instead, Livia spent her day cooped up in her room, typing away at her laptop and editing some of her manuscripts.

Everyone was back by dinner time, and they shared a meal before heading off once again. Livia went back to her room, and by the time she realised, it was already nearing eleven.

Awkwardly, she turned to the culprit of her lack of tiredness: the cup of cooling coffee next to her keyboard.

This was going to be a rough night.

Livia scrolled out to her balcony, sucking in a breath of the night's air. As she looked down, she had an idea.

If she wasn't tired, she might as well do something about it.

Livia walked back into her room, changing into her swimsuit, and then she was downstairs. Pamela's light was still on, but nai nai had gone to sleep hours ago and her parents' bedroom was unlit as well. She further confirmed this when she arrived at her backyard, glancing up. She turned on a few of the lights so that the pool was illuminated, but the area still remained mostly covered in darkness.

She didn't need to be so secretive, really. Quiet, definitely. But even if her parents woke up and noticed, they'd say nothing about it. It wasn't like she was sneaking out. And they certainly were not expecting her to sleep early every night. She was eighteen, and it was the summer holidays.

She could do whatever the hell she wanted.

So she dove right back in.

Thing is, Livia Wong never necessarily enjoyed swimming. She wasn't the best swimmer, and she'd always get tired after a lap or two. But there was still something comforting about it. Maybe it was the memories it brought up, the bunch of them all gathered up in a pool (and occasionally the very one she was in) or the sea, splashing each other with water and doing things that kids did. Or maybe it was how cooling it was, how it brought down the boiling temperature of the British summer, though it was already starting to gradually cool back down. The heatwave had passed.

Livia heard the loud creak of a door opening, and she turned to the source of the sound, which turned out to be the second floor of the Calvert-Egerton manor. From up there, Amphion Calvert-Egerton could very well spot Livia from past the short gate, and Livia could easily see him if she craned her head.

The lamp of Amphion's balcony snapped on.

He looked surprised. Livia tilted her head. Neither said anything, not wanting to be the source of sound or to wake anyone up.

Eventually, Amphion waved his phone in the air, and Livia left the water for a moment to grab hers.

Are you seriously swimming at eleven at night?

Livia glanced up to where Amphion was, one brow raised. Is that a problem??? I was bored ok

Amphion shrugged, replying, Just slightly surprised, that's all. You don't do midnight swims often.

Livia typed back, I inhaled a whole cup of coffee like one hour before, not a good choice on my behalf but i might as well do something with all my newfound energy

Livia was lying if she said she hadn't seen Amphion's next message coming. She was expecting it, somewhat, from the moment he appeared on that balcony.

Can I join? Restless night for me too.

Of course she said yes. She could never say no to Amphion. Never could.

So five minutes later, she watched from the far side of the pool as Amphion lifted himself over the fence between the two houses and entered her yard.

He flashed a smile.

"Where's Zeth?" Livia asked, tilting her head.

"Asleep," Amphion said. "He's been going to sleep early for the past while. Or at least that's what he says."

"He might be crying."

"He might be," Amphion agreed. "One of the side effects of heartbreak is breaking down. But if that's what he's doing right now, he wouldn't want me to know. And I don't want to either."

"That's fair enough, I suppose." Livia swam over slowly. In the dark, Amphion was all silhouette and shadows. He was tall and large and imposing under the dim lighting. Livia remembered the days when she was the one towering over him, rather than the other way around.

She dearly missed those days, if only just because it appeased her ego.

"Don't just stand around, then," she told him. "Hop in."

He didn't hesitate after that, leaping right in besides her, entering with a soft splash. Livia glanced upstairs to make sure no one was watching, or had been woken up. Her swimming by herself was understandable enough, but having Amphion be here, especially considering the time, just seemed slightly strange to explain. And she had no intention to.

"Keep the volume down," she told him as he emerged from the water, shaking off some water. "Don't want to wake anyone up."

"I know, I know," he said, sounding slightly annoyed, as if he wouldn't even know something that simple.

Livia knew she was being a bit annoying, but she didn't want to risk it.

She swam a bit closer. "How on earth did you know I was here?"

Amphion shrugged, edging back towards the edge of the pool. "I saw the lights turn on. Got curious, decided to pop out and take a look. Did you want peace and quiet? It's a bit too late for that now."

Livia shook her head. "I don't mind company." Then, she swam a small distance away.

There was something intimate about this setting that their previous few meetings had lacked. Perhaps it was because they were right next to where they'd spoken a month ago, screaming at each other. And that now, they were getting along again, carefully friends. Carefully extending their trust to each other.

"How's your day been?" he asked, slowly making his way through the water. Amphion had always been a better swimmer than Livia. He was far faster, and she always thought he made it more elegant than she did. The act of swimming had never come naturally to her the way it did to some others.

She admired the way his body moved through the silent pool and tilted her head. "Boring. I wouldn't be swimming at eleven o'clock at night otherwise, would I?"

He let out a half laugh. "That's fair enough, I guess."

"How's your day?" she asked, because they were the kind of friends who had to make small talk now. They didn't used to have to do that. She was always so awkward with chitchat, inevitably running out of things to waffle on about after a few sentences shared.

"The same," he replied. "Nothing exciting has been going on. It's quite sad, really. It's not even the end of the summer yet, and we're already running out of leisurely activities to indulge ourselves in."

Livia replied, "I think things will start picking up again soon. It's just a slump right now. Everyone's tired. Too much has been happening."

"If it means anything, I think Zeth is starting to make peace with the whole situation. I can't say anything for Brie, of course. You're far more familiar with her than I am. But Zeth has been a lot happier than last week. Sarah's stopped bitching about you."

"We've made peace," Livia said. "As much as we can anyways."

"Ah, should I put any faith in this one lasting?"

Livia shot him a look, pushing her hands in the water to make waves. "Don't say things like that."

"What else do you want me to say?" he rebuffed, raising one brow. "It's the truth, Livia. I thought you liked the truth."

"I do. But sometimes, it doesn't hurt to just swallow back your words, you know?"

Amphion snorted. "I think you should learn that more than me."

Livia's shoulders drooped. "Okay. That's fair enough." She turned, swimming a few metres away.

"I didn't mean..."

Livia turned her head to look at Amphion. "No, no, I'm not offended. It's the truth."

"Oh."

Clearly, her new attitude to life was surprising not just herself, but her friends as well. Everyone else must be deathly unused to it. Livia was too. She was getting less offended by things she'd have lost her temper about. She was trying to get herself to calm down in the face of criticism, to consider it, and take it in if she thought it was good advice. And to reject it if it was not. But not with outright aggression. Carefully, while making sure she didn't instigate a fight with everyone else.

She was proud of herself. Change was a gradual process and there was never a true ending, but at least she was moving down the line. At least she was trying. That was better than absolutely nothing.

"Do you know anyone else going to university with us?" Amphion suddenly asked, causing small splashes in the water as he swam around. "There's a few kids from my school going."

"I know one other kid who's going," Livia replied. "Lance Yeung. He's insanely smart."

"Are you close?"

"Somewhat, yeah. Not besties, but we hang out in similar circles back home," Livia replied honestly. Lance also happened to be the ex-boyfriend of one of her close friends. Which made their friendship slightly awkward, but they weren't that close in the first place, so she didn't care.

"What is he studying?"

Livia pulled a face. "Chemistry."

"Why that face?"

"Because I loathe Chemistry with every inch of my existence."

"I suppose that is fair enough."

And then, silence again. Livia was used to that by now. She was honestly quite comfortable with it. She knew Amphion wasn't judging her, and she wasn't judging him either. She kept on swimming.

Then his voice came again. "If you don't mind me asking... last year, when did you start... having feelings for me?"

Livia allowed her feet to land on the bottom of the pool. She didn't turn around, because surely there was a blush of red spreading on her cheeks? Didn't matter if she was over it, it was still mortifying to have it mentioned. But Amphion didn't seem to be mentioning it for laughs. He seemed to be genuinely serious.

"I mean, you've always been handsome," she replied quietly. "Everyone knows that. No one would deny it. But I think it was midway through July when I realised it."

"I had a crush on you the summer we were sixteen."

Livia was just about to continue on her swim, and she almost slipped in the water as she heard what he said. "Wait, what?"

"Two years ago. I had a crush on you then."

Now she turned around, eyes widened. "And you're telling me this now because?"

"I don't know, honestly." Amphion pushed his hair back with his wet fingers. "I don't know why I'm telling you any of this. Just thought... thought I might give you something back for all the questions I'm asking you, I guess."

"I never realised it."

"Yeah," Amphion said, "I know. You would have most definitely done something about it otherwise."

Livia shook her head slowly, not meeting his eyes. "I don't think I would have, honestly."

"You told Zeth to do something about his crush."

"Well, I wasn't the person receiving his affection. And the only reason I told him to do that was because he'd harboured that crush for years already. He had to put a bung into it eventually."

"That's fair enough, I suppose. But I guess I just wanted to tell you that."

"You're in a peculiar mood today," Livia murmured.

"It's the atmosphere," he said with a casual shrug. "The darkness, the pool, the quiet... you know. Seems like a good time for secrets to be aired out into the open."

"That's true. Any other questions you want to ask? Or secrets you want to reveal?" She meant it as a joke, but he looked pensive as he leaned against the side of the pool, head cocked.

"Why didn't you say anything last summer? Even when I was with Veronica so much?"

"We were friends," she replied. "And I had no idea of what you thought. If I said something, we might be like Zeth and Brie right now."

"Instead, here we are."

"It's been a turbulent journey."

"That is one way to put it."

"I wish you said something," he whispered, tilting his head backwards. "I honestly wish you did. So that I didn't have to spend the whole last year thinking about it."

"You would have either way," Livia pointed out, perching herself a safe distance away, splashing her upper body with water so that she'd remain warm. "You would have said no, fuck off, I only see you as a sister."

"No I wouldn't," Amphion admitted. "I might have said yes."

"To which we'd probably be broken up and exes right now. Even more awkward." Livia looked down, wiggling her toes. "I'd rather be in this kind of state."

"You're so sure it wouldn't have worked out."

"A whole year long-distance, Amphion? No way it would have worked out. All things considered, this was probably the best way for things to have gone unless we'd managed to all keep our mouths shut."

"Damn," he said. "Damn."

"I know, I know. I sound far too realistic and pessimistic and cynical and whatever. But it's the truth."

"We could have tried to make it work."

"It wouldn't have," she said firmly. "I was living in Hong Kong. It was the last year of school. A-Levels for you, IB for me. We were both busy as all hell. It would never have worked out. Not to mention, we're teenagers."

"Adults now."

"But we could have been teenagers, if we'd gone through with it. And you didn't even like me at that point, did you?"

"I still had some feelings," Amphion said stoically, "but it was mainly just some lingering attraction at that point. Nothing overwhelming."

Livia blinked. "I love how casually we're talking about this, as if it's nothing."

"That's what it should be right now, shouldn't it? Nothing. It should be nothing." Amphion was quiet for a moment. "It doesn't feel like nothing."

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say in response to that."

"You don't need to say anything if you don't want to. I'm just voicing some of my inner thoughts. You can forget all about this tomorrow if that's what you want. Just our little dream, you know?"

"I mean, it does feel like a dream. This reminds me of this one song I really liked a few years ago."

"Oh?" he asked, one brow raised.

"It's Chinese."

"I don't mind. Do share."

"It's called Lover. Not the Taylor Swift one, obviously. But by this singer called Cai Xukun. Honestly, only the first line really fits, but you know."

He looked genuinely interested. "At least try and translate it, Livia."

She let out a laugh. She didn't feel embarrassed anymore. She couldn't, when he'd laid bare his soul and allowed her to look inside some of his darkest secrets too. "It goes like... Yan se, shi huan jue, yong chi bian de ni shen ying gou cheng xian/wen re, man yan. It translates to, well, You look at me like an illusion, your body is a silhouette beside the pool/the warmth slowly spreads." She sighed. "I loved that song when I was younger."

"It's a romance song."

"I loved it back then. It was one of the sexiest songs I'd ever heard and I loved it with every inch of my soul."

"I think I've heard the melody before. You've definitely hummed it around me at least once before."

"Not surprised," Livia said. "It was my anthem for a whole year."

"A whole year?" he asked, looking amused.

"Okay. Maybe not the whole year. Slight exaggeration. But it was my jam for a really, really long time."

"Ah. I see."

Livia dove back into the water and swam for a little bit. Amphion did too. As she travelled through the water, she tried not to think of the boy in the pool with her, but found it more difficult than before. The idea that Amphion ever saw her in a romantic light was... unexpected.

Highly unexpected.

She wasn't sure why she'd thought it was so impossible. It was from long before last summer, that preconception. Even when they were little. Maybe it was because she rarely ever so girls like her get with boys like him. Personality, race, and everything else in between. He looked like a knight straight out of a storybook, while Livia was just... Livia.

The only place where she seemed to match him was wealth. But that had never felt special in this town, where everyone seemed to be a millionaire or more.

And maybe it was because they knew they only had two months per year, and nothing else. Especially when they were younger, before they all had social media and could talk to each other there too.

Maybe it was the eight hours between them, and the oceans as well.

The knowledge that it hadn't been impossible was opening gates Livia had only very recently shut close. Which was not something Livia particularly enjoyed.

But she stood by her point. Even if it had happened, even if they had decided to date, it would have only ended in disaster. They were too young, and they would be long distance for ten months. Neither of them had that much dedication or commitment. They would have broken up in one and painstakingly trying their best not to talk to each other right now. An argument was something that could be easily solved. Breaking up was not.

She preferred this. She genuinely did. She'd even prefer going through the entirety of last month again to being exes with Amphion Calvert-Egerton.

She didn't know how much time they spent just swimming like that, around and around the pool. Both of them trying to find something of substance to say to the other.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he stopped to ask at one point, glancing in her direction.

Livia shook her hair, trying to fling the water out. "Not sure. Might hit the market with Brie and Lila. Maybe. It's getting boring."

"It is," he agreed. "Are there any major events left?"

Livia shrugged, tugging at the strap of her black swimsuit. "Just Victoire's birthday party, I think. It's been a boring summer."

"God wonders why."

"Nai nai talked to me earlier today. She says she knows that something's wrong."

Amphion blinked. "I haven't spoken to your grandma in ages. Maybe I'll stop by tomorrow to visit her."

Livia let out a loud snort.

Amphion glanced at her, amused. "What? Can I not do that?"

"Oh no," Livia replied, hands raised. "She'd be overjoyed."

"Tell me when you're both in and it's a good time to stop by," Amphion said. "In case you do head out with the other two."

"I'll try to remember to do that."

"I'll remind you, in case you conveniently forget."

She shot him a glare. "If you want to visit nai nai, you can do that any time."

"Seems less weird if you're there, you know. Maybe I can say I'm visiting you and just stop by to see nai nai on the way."

Livia was exasperated. "What on earth do you need to visit me for? Just tell nai nai you're there to see her. She'll be so happy."

"If everyone thinks we don't get along..."

"You suddenly coming over to say hi to me just seems fucking weird, you know?"

"It wouldn't have been."

"But it is now." She gave him a pointed look. "But do whatever you want. I can't control you anyways. Not like you'll listen to me."

"Are you mad?" He sounded like he was joking, but there was some concern in his voice too.

"No, why would I be?" Livia retorted. "Come if you want. Do whatever you want, Amphion."

"Livia, you good?"

She cut him a glare right as she dipped back into the water. "I'm fine, Amphion."

She didn't want Amphion visiting her. She didn't want him to come and sit in her room for half an hour or an hour pretending they were best of friends like when they were fourteen. They were adults. Adults with history, at that, especially after tonight. Adults with too much between them. If she'd been the one wanting to mend their relationship a few days ago, she now knew firmly the importance of keeping her distance as well.

She wasn't going to let him back in again. And Sarah was right about one thing: Amphion would be foolish to let her back into his heart as well. The smartest option now was to stay friends, most definitely, but always made sure there was a line between them they never crossed. To make sure they both knew that the past was in the past, and while they'd made peace with it now, they could never go back to the way they were.

Or it would only end in disaster once more.

Neither of them, if they had any sense, should get hurt over each other's actions again.

Unfortunately, so far Livia showed nothing but a history of impulsive actions and poor decisions when dealing with Amphion Calvert-Egerton, and she was desperate to break that pattern and show that she was more than capable of being rational and handling herself when necessary.

Actually, she didn't want Amphion to be in the same pool with her at all in that moment, because inevitably he'd speak again and like a moth drawn to a flame she'd answer. She could never resist him. She could never say no to him. He'd always symbolically ask her for her permission to do something and then go ahead with it anyways, even when she told him no.

That was their thing. But recently it had become frustrating, annoying, and painful to deal with.

She wanted some peace and quiet.

But to her surprise, she went on swimming for a long time for him to not utter a single word. He didn't leave either, even when Livia finally checked her phone and realised they'd been swimming for an hour. He didn't leave. He just stayed there and kept swimming around and around, around and around.

He must feel as lost as she did, she thought to herself.

What was he thinking? She wanted to know. But she didn't want to ask him either.

She was the one who left, eventually. When the clock hit twelve thirty and she could not bear it any longer, she climbed out of the pool.

"Calling it a night?" he asked, eyes fixed on her.

She didn't turn around. "Yeah. I'm going to bed. See you."

"Good night, Livia. Sweet dreams."

She wished, dearly, in that moment, that he wouldn't be so kind.

hey folksss i'll be in the mainland on vacay for the next few weeks which means!!! it's more annoying for me to access wattpad on laptop (which i need to do to update), so i'm going to schedule hfe to update once a day!!!! so!!!!!!