THE SIXTH OF August was a date imprinted in Livia's head. She didn't think she'd ever be able to forget it.

Every year before, they'd gone together in a large group. This year, they were all split up. To avoid conflict, to avoid exclusion, they'd all silently agreed to travel in their own households.

Livia with Pamela. The twins with Aurelius (Victoire was too young to remember much about Melody), Brie and Lila. Sarah with her brother, Brian. She wasn't sure what time the others were all going at, she didn't particularly care. The tradition was in the morning, and she stuck to it.

Since Livia's car was still being fixed, they ended up having to call a taxi.

Melody's grave was a forty minute drive away from Briarville, at the place where she spent most of her life, Gillingford. Livia had never visited while Melody was still alive. It was only afterwards, when she was long gone, that she had a chance to visit.

She understood why Melody would have loved the town. It was quaint and peaceful, eerily silent in the morning as they arrived. They got off at the familiar gates, slowly making their way in.

Everyone was there.

Sarah was putting flowers in a vase while Brian softly cried behind her, Amphion and Zeth were quietly talking, while Aurelius stared off into the distance. Brie and Lila stood silently to the side.

Brie glanced over when Livia and Pamela approached, a small smile on her face. "You're here."

Livia nodded in reply. She glanced at Zeth, and then back at Brie. The two were doing an excellent job of ignoring each other, of denying each other's presence. Perhaps that was the best way around this for now.

It reminded her of how the summer started, though. Eventually there would be an explosion, and they'd have to clean up that mess. Whether the wounds healed cleanly or rotted was a bridge they'd cross when they got to it.

Livia didn't think there was much she could do about it. Until Zeth got over his crush, until Brie was able to deal with the idea of all of this, to recover from her own broken heart, any help she offered would be pointless.

Usually, the spirits were a bit higher than this. Of course it was a sad affair, being here. No one could be truly happy. But they'd all gather around, mourn, and head to a nearby restaurant for food and some reminiscing over the old times with Melody. Livia doubted there'd be any of that this year, considering the current state of relationships between them. Too many strings tangled up, such a mess that the only way out was to cut the threads altogether.

But none of them were willing to do that yet. There were still too many hard feelings left unsolved.

So they all stood there, mourning.

Truth was, they all got over Melody a long time ago. Melody Martinez was a topic rarely brought up, though when it did it was carefully savoured and often ended with tears. They missed her. Of course they did. But she died so long ago that sometimes, Livia even forgot her voice.

Melody had been diagnosed with cancer the year they were twelve. Leukaemia. At twelve, they hadn't realised how severe that would be. They were all told during the summer, and that summer had been about Melody. About making sure she was happy, cheering her up.

The summer they were thirteen, Melody was deteriorating but still alright. Her hair had been shaved for chemotherapy, and she was visibly far weaker than before. But none of them thought it would be lethal.

It was that very September Melody left them all.

It all happened so suddenly no one knew how to react.

One moment Melody was still laughing, happy, cheerful. The next, she was gone.

She was both the glue that held them together, and what now pushed them apart. They started arguing a lot more after that. Perhaps it was because they all started growing up, but Livia thought Melody was part of it too. They were so used to her being mediator, making sure they all got along, that once Melody was gone, no one could replace her. Zeth did his very best to fill in her shoes, but he could never quite get to the same effect.

Melody Martinez, beloved daughter and friend. Gone too soon.

Melody, with her light brown skin and frizzy brown hair. With her perfect smile with pearly whites, with her lively eyes and bubbly personality.

A fragment of their past that they all carried with them still.

Melody represented the better days, when everything was still alright. When the cracks hadn't started yet, when they hadn't grown up yet.

Everything had been better when they were kids.

Lila was the only one among them who hadn't known Melody for years. Lila had met Melody the summer of her diagnosis, and had only witnessed the Melody in slow deterioration, never the girl in her prime. Sometimes Livia wondered what would have happened if she just came one year earlier.

Certainly, Melody would have known far better what to do with the girl with sharp, jagged edges than any of them had.

But even Lila felt the full effect of Melody's departure. She'd mourned with them that summer they were fourteen, even though she'd only known Melody for less than two years.

They left an hour later. Livia and Pamela were offered a ride in Lila and Brie's car, and they took it. The four girls drove out to a nearby restaurant where they had brunch, since the first two had only had a single mantou bun and the latter two had skipped breakfast entirely.

Livia didn't mention Zeth. If Lila knew anything about what had occurred that night, she kept her lips closed. Sisterly loyalty came ahead of everything in this kind of situation.

In truth, Livia hadn't spoken to either sister much since that party at Madston's. It had seemed so awkward, and she simply hadn't known what to say. They had to know that she knew about Zeth's crush. Would they blame her, for keeping it away from them for so long?

They made smallchat. What they'd been up to in the past few days, how much they missed Melody, dancing around the real elephant in the room. Livia had filled Pamela in on the drama she'd missed, and Pamela refrained from any direct mentions of the situation as well, though she did bring up Madston's party off-handedly.

Both sisters watched to see if the other two would have any clear reactions. There were none. Brie's eyes were glued to her food, and Lila's flickered boredly around the cosily decorated restaurant, as if none of it had anything to do with her.

It was curious.

They were halfway into the meal when Brie finally straightened, meeting Livia's eyes, and then glancing at Pamela. "Alright. I can't stand this anymore. I know what you guys actually want to talk about. Just ask."

When necessary, Brie was more than capable of reading the room. Even if most of the time she was completely ignorant of it. Livia and Pamela exchanged a look, and then Livia sighed. "What happened? We ended up finding Zeth drinking himself away at a pub after Madston's party."

Lila raised a brow, but asked no questions. She was a spectator in this situation, silently ensuring that Brie remained emotionally stable but not directly participating.

Brie replied with a shrug. "I ran away."

"Did you know? Did you always know?"

"I'd guessed," she said quietly. "But I was always too scared to say it out loud, you know? I don't like him as anything more than a friend. I didn't want to ruin that friendship."

"I get that," Pamela said sympathetically. "But you should really talk to him, you know. It might make both of you feel better about this situation, clear up any misunderstandings."

Brie leaned backwards, twisting a lock of her black, curly hair around her finger. "I don't know. I don't know what to do about this situation at all.

"That's fair enough," Livia said. "But if you're willing to take my advice, do talk to him. It helps a lot."

"Did it help with you and Amphion?" Brie asked. "You guys seem friends now."

"We get along now. We had a few long conversations."

"I'll talk to Zeth. Eventually." Brie hesitated for a moment. "I'm sorry about the whole situation with... Mark."

Lila groaned. "Don't even say his name in my presence."

Brie shot her step-sister a look, then looked back at the two Wong girls apologetically. "I'm trying to get over all that now. I am grateful for all you've done."

"I know heartbreak hurts," Livia told her, "but I'm sure you'll recover quickly. You're one of the strongest people I know."

Brie grimaced. "I highly doubt that. But I'll take the compliment, thank you."

There was a moment of silence, as all four girls stared down at their laps, unsure how to continue the conversation onwards. Pamela picked up where they left. "Glad you finally decided to dump that piece of shit," she said with a light laugh. "There'll be better boys out there, don't you worry."

"I know. Cheers to that." Brie released a sigh. "Well, that's one chapter of my life I never want to revisit again." She gave a little shudder. "How was I so blind? How did I not realise?"

Besides her, Lila gave a great roll of her eyes. Clearly, the girl wasn't completely sure still, about whether her step-sister was truly over her infatuation. She was still keeping watch, and Livia would too. Brie had a history of relapsing, after all, and while this time seemed different, you could never be too sure, too careful.

Brie seemed to notice everyone's reaction to her words and let out a small, awkward laugh before turning back down to her food. Livia blinked. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had such an awkward meeting with these two. Among everyone, her relationship with Brie and Lila had always remained the most stable. It felt strange now, that she was on good terms with the twins again, had gotten most of her problems with Sarah out in the open, and yet was having trouble having a pleasant meal with the Anderson/Carmen sisters.

There was no conflict. It was just pure awkwardness. It tended to happen, when you were faced with someone who'd seen you at your worst mere days before, and everyone had to act like everything was okay. Even when things weren't.

Brie was still hurting. It would take her a long time to heal.

But she would, eventually. She'd eventually make peace with all of this, the same way Livia had. Life was a fluid thing, and everyone moved on eventually in one way or another. No one was able to stay in the same place, in the same mindset for the rest of their lives, even if they did their very best to try.

"It's normal not to notice sometimes," Livia said quietly. "It is nothing to be ashamed of, Brie."

"Forget the past," Lila said. "It's time to move on."

"We'll be here whenever you need us," Pamela added with the sweetest smile. "You know we will be."

They'd always be there for each other. They'd seen each other at their absolute worst, there was nothing that would scare them away. Every summer it was them, and only them.

They started chatting about other things. Happier things, laughing and giggling until they finally had to pay and leave the restaurant. It was when they were getting into the car Lila said, "This is starting to lose all its meaning."

"What do you mean?" Livia asked.

"This." Lila motioned around them. "Coming here every year. To see Melody. It's not about her anymore, is it?"

"She's been gone for so long," Brie said. "We can't stay in the past forever."

"She'd be going to university with us if she was still here," Livia whispered. "What do you think she'd have studied?"

"Music." Brie snorted, shaking her head. "She absolutely would have gone for music, let's be real here. Her parents would have hated it, but she wouldn't have given a single shit. She never did."

"I don't think so," Pamela said. "She was passionate about music, but she never struck me as the type of person who'd pursue it academically. Just as a hobby, you know? I recognise that."

"She strikes me as the type who'd go for something like journalism." Lila tilted her head. "But then again, I never knew her the way any of you guys did."

"This might have been the last time we all gathered here together at the same time."

"This summer might be the last time all of us gather. Period." Lila raised a brow. "You really think Sarah's going to willingly show up to any future reunions? And we're all going to different parts of the country. Like, I'm not going to be continuing this summer tradition. I'm sorry. But I actually want to do other things."

"We always did this more for nostalgia than anything else," Pamela agreed. "And for our parents."

"We'll still come," Brie agreed, "but not because it's the summer."

"Those summers are long past us now."

"Time to be big girls now." Lila had gotten into the drivers' seat, starting the engine. "We'll be back by three, I think. Unless we get distracted on the way."

"Unlikely," Livia said, "with me around. Have you ever seen me distracted by anything, Anderson?"

Lila raised one brow in response, not deigning to open her mouth. Livia scoffed, turning her head to look at the passing scenery. One thing she did like about England was the greenery. It felt like there was a massive field or forest right outside every town or city. This was something she'd never see back in China. Especially not Hong Kong, the concrete forest. She spotted horses, deers, sheeps as they drove back to Briarville. Under the afternoon sunlight, the pastures gained life.

Livia didn't like England, not particularly. She'd always loved Briarville, but it wasn't precisely an excellent representation of the whole of England either. Briarville was on the south coast, so it received the most sunlight, and rained little compared to the rest of the country. Being a tourism spot, it lacked the problems that might plague other cities and towns. Briarville was its own mini haven, and Livia found that she rarely linked the town to the rest of the country.

But she wouldn't be going to university in Briarville. So she better get used to the rest of this damned country quickly.

Pamela let out a sigh. "The countryside is so pretty, you know?"

"Hardly the first time you've seen these views, Pam," Lila said.

"She's still allowed to be wowed by it," Brie replied with a roll of her eyes. "Leave the poor girl be, you pessimist."

Lila just snorted in reply.

—

A WEEK PASSED, and they were in mid-August. The temperature rose, and since most of the manors had not been fitted with air conditioners (deemed unnecessary), Livia found that she and her family started spending far more time outdoors, to the pleasure of her father.

When she started to find sitting beside their pool with her parents a bit too boring for her own good, Livia whipped out her phone.

She went to their group chat, long dead, the last message still from that time Amphion told them about Taliyah Neumann's party.

Does anyone wanna hit the beach?? I'm dying at home, please.

Twenty minutes later, Livia had headed down to the patch of beach down the street from her home. Amphion and Zeth were already there in their swimming trunks, sunglasses on. Livia averted her gaze from their bare chests, but then remembered that she'd seen them for years already and had nothing to be embarrassed about.

She herself had changed into a black swimsuit with hints of silver, one she'd brought a few days back and had worn a few times already. It was a new favourite.

"We brought drinks," Zeth offered, nudging at the cooler box they'd carried down that now sat upon a picnic cloth, laid out a few feet away. "Help yourself to it."

Livia flashed a smile. "Thanks. Pamela's gone to wait for Anya."

"She coming too?"

"Everyone is, I think."

Even Sarah had replied in the group chat, agreeing to show up. The deja vu was strong. All of them. Gathered. Again. At the beach, mid-August, to stave off the heat. There was nothing special about it, they'd done it a thousand times before.

It felt different, of course it did, but at the same time, it was just like all the times they'd done it in the past.

Livia opened the cooler box and took out a bottle of Sprite, taking a few large chugs before ripping the plastic label off and shoving the bottle back in. "Bottle without label is mine."

"Bottle with the folded label is mine," Amphion said with a little tilt of his head. "As always."

"And I'm the only person here drinking Fanta, so I don't need anything unique." Zeth smirked. "Well, well. We haven't changed as much as we thought after all, have we?"

Livia huffed. "This is the law. It was made for a reason." They'd set up the system after they'd messed up their drinks too many times, one too many summers ago. Livia's drink would always be labelless. Amphion's label would be slightly folded. Zeth only ever drank his bloody Fanta, so he needed no labels. Lila's drink never left her hand even in the hottest of days, and Brie's label was folded at the halfway point. Sarah's was folded at an angle.

Anyone else who decided to show up had the much simpler choice of drawing on their bottles with a marker. The system had been decided before that particular idea had struck them, and they'd been too invested in creating the system to scrap it.

They were a strange bunch of children.

It was one of those little things she missed. That sudden sensation that rushes up your body and leaves as quickly as it comes when you remember it. She'd had too many of those moments in the past while. It felt nice to be able to do it without feeling as if she was doing something wrong, betraying someone or herself.

"I didn't expect anyone except us to agree to come," Zeth admitted as he sat down on the picnic cloth. "Like, we're obviously going to say yes because we're right next to the beach anyways, but I didn't think any of them would."

"It's the nostalgia," Amphion pointed out. "Beef aside, we all miss the old days." He glanced at Livia, as if seeking agreement. She shrugged nonchalantly in reply.

"I think everyone's just bored as all hell." That was probably the truth. As time etched closer to September, most of them were realising there wasn't much left to do in Briarville. Going around the town only had its charm for so long. Briarville wasn't a big town. Sure, it had its own shopping mall, but it was still tiny compared to most around the country.

"They still have things to do other than come here and hang out at the beach together," Amphion muttered.

"You were the one who said we were all falling apart," Livia shot out. "Changing your mind now?"

"We've already fallen apart," Amphion said gently. "But once in a while, we can push the broken pieces together and act like it's still whole, you know? Just because it's already all shattered doesn't mean we can't be friends anymore."

Livia turned away, not sure how to respond to that.

Pamela was the next to show up, Anya in tow. The two girls quickly ran off into the sea, splashing around with the water. Zeth whistled. "Remember when we were that old?"

"It was two years ago," Amphion deadpanned. "We're not ancient, bro."

"Feels like a lifetime ago," Zeth sighed. "Ah, I missed our youth."

"We are literally eighteen."

"No longer the first blush of youth," Zeth glanced over at Livia, pulling a face. "We're old now. A few years and we'd be in a grave."

"A few decades, more like," Livia snorted. "Don't be a dramatic bitch."

"Dramatic is my middle name," Zeth replied. "I can't stop it. It's in my DNA."

Amphion fidgeted with his sunglasses before lying down on the picnic blanket. Livia edged to the side to make space for him. "Zeth, we're twins. I don't have that drama in my genes, so I think it's just a you problem."

"Definitely," Livia agreed.

"You're just both ganging up on me."

"When have we ever not been ganging up on you?" Amphion asked with a laugh.

Zeth had recovered in the past week. He hadn't mentioned a thing about that night, and they hadn't brought it up either. To be fair, he hadn't been in Brie's presence for an extended amount of time except for when they went to visit Melody's grave. And it hadn't exactly been the place to talk about it.

She'd watch out for it later. To make sure those two weren't left in each other's presence unless they wanted to. The least she could do.

Zeth grunted and strolled off to join the younger girls in the water. Amphion moved back into a sitting position and grabbed a drink from the cooler box, taking a long swig. He lowered the bottle, glancing back at the sea. "Damn. I missed this place a lot throughout the year."

"I didn't."

He winced. "Partially my fault, I suppose."

"Partially."

"Well, shit. I hope you don't hate it as much anymore."

Livia shrugged. "Still deciding, you know. Not the kind of thing you can make a decision about quickly. Takes some time."

"Fine." He picked up the bottle again, and then winced. "Shit. It's yours."

Livia blinked with confusion, unsure what he was talking about. When she turned around to face him, she realised that he'd grabbed her bottle from the cooler instead of his own. The labelless clear bottle was in his hands rather than his folded label.

Livia sighed. "Whatever. Not like the first time this shit has happened." The system had been implemented, but it wasn't foolproof. As if to prove a point, she took it from his hand, unscrewed the bottle and took a long swig.

He was watching her intently when she put the bottle back in the cooler. "What?" she demanded.

He tore his gaze away. "Nothing. When are the others arriving?"

Livia shook her head. "How am I supposed to know? Give the Anderson/Carmen sisters a bit more time. And Sarah lives quite far away."

He gave a stiff nod in return.

Livia narrowed her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Amphion shot back in return. "I'm just feeling a bit hot."

"If you're feeling hot," Livia said, "get in the water with those guys. The picnic blanket isn't going to fly away, the cooler will keep it down."

"You not going?"

"I will, in a bit."

"Alright." Amphion got up, and Livia took his position, lying down on the cloth. A moment later, Amphion's voice joined the cheerful trio down in the cool ocean water. But where Livia laid, they felt like they were miles away. She shut her eyes—the sun was bright, even with her sunglasses, putting her hands above her head. Nai nai would kill her if she saw her like this, but Livia didn't care.

Nai nai wasn't here anyways. What could she do?

Sarah arrived before Brie and Lila, to Livia's surprise. The girl strutted down to her, pausing for a moment. "Hello Livia."

Livia glanced up lazily. "Hello Sarah."

Sarah nodded. "Is Brie and Lila not here yet?"

Livia shook her head.

"Are you not going to join them?" she asked, nudging at the water.

"Later," Livia replied. "I'll join them later."

She thought Sarah would immediately leave her things behind and join the others rather than stay at the picnic cloth, but instead, the girl placed her bag beside the cooler and sat down next to Livia. "How's life?"

Livia wrinkled her nose. "Why are you being nice to me? It feels very weird."

Sarah let out a sigh. "We've been friends for long enough, I'm not just going to start treating you like my worst enemy."

"Have we ever been friends?"

"Friends who saw each other as rivals, yes."

"Frenemies, then," Livia said. "That doesn't explain why you're talking to me, especially after our last meeting."

"I've thought about that a lot in the past while."

"I haven't."

"Yes you have," Sarah laughed bitterly. "I know you well enough for that. Don't lie to me. It doesn't work."

Livia raised a brow. "For someone who insists that I don't know anything about anyone, you sure assume you know a lot about me."

Sarah shrugged. "I don't think you don't know anything. I just don't think you know as much as you think you do. But me, I'm certain I know this about you. You've always cared more about what other people thought than you let on. Everyone looks at you and sees this tough-as-nails, badass girl, but we know you're soft underneath."

Livia flashed a smile that bared teeth. "Pot, meet kettle."

"I won't deny that," Sarah said, raising her chin. "I won't deny that at all."

"But fine. I owe you an apology. I know it's too late and all that, but I do owe you an apology for being a nasty bitch when I was younger. But that's all you're getting from me."

Sarah let out a breath. "I didn't expect anything else."

"You shouldn't have. I still don't think most of your grievances against me are well-based. And I am not going to just cut myself off from everyone because you think I'm hurting them. No one else thinks that."

Sarah shrugged. "I beg to differ. But I know I'm not going to convince you. We've never seen eye to eye."

"I doubt we ever will," Livia replied. "But at the same time, I'm tired of this war."

"Not the first time we've called a truce," Sarah scoffed, bowing her head. "It never works, Livia."

"I think it will this time. We're adults now."

"Adulthood doesn't mean anything."

"It means that even though we don't get along, we could at least be civil."

"I don't like you. I don't like the way you do things, and you made me miserable for many summers. I know the way I responded was sometimes a bit too much, and I'd occasionally go out of my way to make you miserable, but I think it was just tit for tat."

"I won't hold any of it against you," Livia promised. "I made mistakes. You made yours. We might disagree on the severity of our mistakes, but at the end of the day, our goals are the same, aren't they?"

"We have goals?"

Livia glanced at the redhead, amusement on her face. "Do you not want us to still stay friends, after all of this?"

Earnestly, Sarah replied, "Honestly? I don't know anymore. I really just don't know."

"Oh." Livia's gaze travelled back to the ocean. "Well."

"That's what I mean," Sarah told her quietly. "You don't know me nearly as well as you might think, Livia Wong."

"Yes, I've realised."

we're getting daily updates for the next while y'all it's almost wattys time and i want to submit this book >:((((