Today, you were sitting in a black suspicious-looking van, driving towards a certain obnoxious country's path.

You're not going to murder him, don't worry.

Not yet, anyways, that annoying little-

AHEM! SO, ANYWHORE! Lets rewind a bit, yes?

----

Sitting in a world meeting, same old, same old. You thought to yourself as France was literally thrown over your head.

Russia popped out of nowhere, "(C/N)! PLEASE TELL BELARUS THAT YOU ARE BECOMING ONE WITH ME!"

You glanced at a very scary looking Belarus. "I am doing no such thing, I assure you," you whispered the rest, "please don't kill me."

"Nooooooooo!!" Cried the tall nation as his sister dragged him away.

You glanced at Germany, who was sitting beside you. "So, you were talking about America being the least cautious country in the world?"

"Ah, yes, I'm glad that- ITALY PUT THAT DOWN- you were listening as always, (C/n). I've done the math, and it seems that kidnappings and other crimes as the highest in America. If this doesn't go down, bad people in other countries might get... ideas, which is a threat to everyone." [I typed in teats omfg] Germany said while shuffling through some of his notes.

You cocked your head to the side. "What? It can't be that bad,"

Germany glanced down at you. "Trust me, (C/n), it is."

Not believing your good friend America was that stupid, you crossed your arms and replied, "I want proof."

----

So that's how you found yourself driving a van that says, "UNSUSPECTING VAN."

You had this one thing in your ear that let you listen to what Germany was telling you.

"Alright Germanly, I'm almost right beside him," you whispered into the tiny phone connected to the ear thing.

You heard a loud snort, which you assumed was Prussia, then shortly a loud smack, and it was quiet on the other side.

"Okay, *sigh* (ch-cheesy code name for your country), tell him this..."

Driving up next to America and rolling down your tinted window you said in a disguised voice, "hey kid, get in the car, I have candy."

America stepped back and glared at you. "I'm just on my way to meet up with my friend, (C/n)! What could you want from me?!"

You paused to listen to what Germany tells you while adjusting your dark (and hella rad) sunglasses.

Clearing your throat, you continued. "I have free wi-fi."

For a second, America looked won over, but he stood his ground. "Leave me alone." He growled.

Germany told you what to say next, so you did.

Suddenly, America launched himself through your window and crawled into the back of the van.

"Wha... where are they?" He looked around and pouted.

You yanked off your sunglasses. "MY GOD, AMERICA!"

"(C/n)?" He looked very confused.

"Really?! You would get into a strangers van- WHO IS GOING TO KIDNAP YOU- for that?!" You sighed and rubbed your eyes as he came out of the back and into the seat next to you.

"Well, it was a good deal," he argued.

You looked at him with disbelief and one of your eyes twitched.

"FOR A FUCKING HAPPY MEAL?!"

----

Hahaha
Haha
Ha

Ha

What a dork.

I hope you liked it!