Requested by Multifanfandomgirl

I have to say that this was probably the most powerful chapter I ever wrote, #Bestaphchina 

Warning:

There are sensitive topics such as depression, self-harm, and dark points in history mentioned.  For those who get triggered by this stuff, please do not read.  You have been warned.

Narrator's POV

Russia rushed out of the meeting, face flushed as tears began to fall from his face.

"You're a monster!"

"Look at that Commie bastard!  He's an eyesore for the whole world."

"Too bad he can't die, then we'd have no more problems."

Russia choked back a sob as he hurried into his car, driving right back to his mansion, thankful that this hellish meeting was in his country instead of another's.

Russia hurried inside, heading into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.  Once he knew he was alone, he headed over to the large wardrobe, heading inside it to a secret passage which led to the one place Russia felt safe.

Russia opened the door and breathed a sigh as he entered the concrete room, with bright yellow sunflowers painted on the walls, and a beautiful blue sky painted on the ceiling with clouds and a sun.  Russia sighed and sat in the corner bringing his knees to his chest.

'Why does everyone hate me?'  Russia thought to himself as the tears kept spilling over.  'All I ever do is try to survive and make friends, so why?  Why do they all blame me for things that go wrong?  Why do they keep bringing up things that they know they've done before?'  Russia gripped tightly on his legs, not minding the ripping sound coming from his pants, nor the warm liquid oozing out.

'Why can't I feel love?'  Russia thought to himself.

------------ Back At The Meeting -----------

"Ha!  Did you see that commie run out of here?"  America said.

"Indeed, crying at that."  England said, taking a sip of his tea.

"Oui, I-"  France was cut off by China slamming his hands on the desk.  All the countries turned to the older nation whose face was red, his entire body shaking.

"HOW DARE YOU, ARU!"  China yelled, glaring at the flinching nations.

"What?"  America asked, oblivious.  China growled.

"Why do you all bully Russia like that, aru?  He doesn't deserve it, aru."  China said, arms crossed.  America raised an eyebrow.

"But he's the one who brought communism to such a large scale, and look at the Baltics,"  America said, pointing to the Baltic nations.  "He bullied them for years, and separated two brothers."  America said, pointing to Germany and Prussia.  "Not to mention the countless lives he's taken."  China shook his head.

"You all are thinking of his bosses, and may I remind you all that you have blood on your hands too, aru."  China said, a glare on his face.

"Germany and Prussia, may I remind you of the Holocaust, in which 6 million lives were killed by orders of your bosses, aru."  China said.  Germany wore a guilty look as Prussia tried to comfort him, biting his lip.  China turned to France.

"And what about your French Revolution, hm, aru?"  China said.  "You said it yourself, everyday someone was executed, aru."  China said.  France became pale.  "And let us not forget the lives lost in the countless wars you had with England, aru,"  China said, turning to England.

"You yourself England, have killed countless people, Mr Most-Feared-Pirate, aru."  China said, making England put his tea cup down.  China turned to America.

"And you're just as bad as you say Russia is, aru."  China said, pointing a finger at America.  "May I remind you of your revolution, aru.  Where you left England in the rain, aru."  China said, getting a sob from England.  "Or what about your Civil War, your people fought each other, murdering and torturing each other, aru.  Or remember how you've treated your 'actual natives', the Native Americans, aru?"  China said, a cold smirk on his face as he saw America lower his gaze.  China nodded and turned to the rest of that nations, his hands in his sleeves.

"Which of you here has not spilled blood, aru?"  China asked in a booming voice.  "Which of you here has not had leaders who made horrible decisions, aru?  Which of you here has not had to carry out orders you had no desire to do, aru?"  The room was silent, each nation, from the fearsome Sweden, to the harmless Italy brothers, looked down.

"Exactly, aru,"  China said, breaking the silence as he stood before everyone.  "You all have spilled blood, you all have had leaders who were horrible, and you all have been forced to do unspeakable atrocities, aru.  Therefore, what right have you to judge another nation, aru?  What right do you have to bring up their past that you know they had no control over, aru?"  China asked, his eyes and words piercing through every nation.  "None, aru.  You all have none, therefore stop this senseless bullying, aru.  You do not want such treatment to happen to you, therefore do not do such things to others, aru."  China said, the room now silent and heavy with guilt.

"Now then, seeing as this meeting is now useless, I will take my leave, aru."  China said, picking up his papers and storing them in his bamboo backpack.  He walked over to the door, his head held high with dignity and wisdom.  But just as he opened the door to leave, he turned back on the quiet nations.

"If you all have seen the error of your ways, then I suggest you join me in visiting and properly apologizing to Russia, aru.  If you cannot do that, then stay silent and contemplate on your actions, knowing you will never do them again to him, aru."  China said.  With that, he took his leave, leaving the meeting room in utter silence, with the exception of a few countries who were sniffling or holding back their own sobs.

As China headed towards his rental car, he was stopped by a voice.

"Vait!"  China turned to see Prussia, Japan, and Belarus heading towards him.

"We wourd rike to come too, China-san."  Japan said.  China smiled and nodded, allowing them into his car as they drove to Russia's mansion.  They walked up to the door, about to knock when the door opened, pushed by the wind.

"Did Russia-san forget to rock his doors?"  Japan asked.  China frowned.

"Let's find him, aru."  China said, and with that, the four nations began walking through the halls.

"Belarus, do jou have any awezome idea vhere jour bruder could be?"  Prussia asked.  Belarus thought for a moment before nodding.

"Da, he should be in his special room."  Belarus said, walking off as the others followed.

"Vhat room is zhat?  Zhe awezome me doesn't remember zhere being any such room."  Prussia said.  Belarus walked on, not looking back.

"It is a room no one goes in except him.  And when he goes in there, he doesn't come back out."  Belarus said.  The group remained silent as they reached Russia's room.

"Pardon me Belarus-san, but is this not Russia-san's bedroom?"  Japan asked.  Belarus nodded.

"Da, the entrance to his secret room is somewhere inside."  Belarus said.  The others nodded and began looking around, though as they were looking, China noticed the wardrobe door partially open.  China opened it the rest of the way and searched around inside till he found what felt like a latch.

"I think I found it, aru."  China said, using the latch to push open a door.  One by one, the group climbed into the secret passage and continued to walk down it till they reached a door.  China glanced at the others before knocking.

"Russia, it's China, aru."  China said.  There was no response.  "I brought a few others with me to tell you that everything the others said at the meeting was wrong and hurtful, aru."  China said.  There was no noise.

"Russia-san, may we come in?"  Japan asked.  There was no answer.  China tried to open the door, but failed since it was locked.

"Move."  Belarus said, making the others give her room as she pulled out a knife and hair pin, using them to unlock the door.  She pushed the door, making the others gag at the strong scent they were all too familiar with; blood.

"Russia, aru?"  China said, stepping into the room.  He saw the sunflowers and blue sky painted on the walls, an effort to make this small concrete room seem happy, only made it seem more lonesome.  China quickly looked over to Russia, curled up in the corner of the room, sitting on the ground, his hands gripping his legs and arms too tightly, enough so that the fabric and flesh ripped apart.

"Mein gott."  Prussia said, covering his mouth.  Though he was never too fond of Russia, even he wouldn't really wish the guy to be pushed to such extremes.

"Prussia, call big sister."  Belarus said, heading over to Russia.  Prussia snapped out of his shock and took his phone out, calling Ukraine.  China turned to Japan.

"Japan, hurry and find a first-aid kit, aru."  China said.  Japan nodded and ran off as China knelled beside Russia.

"Russia, can you hear me, aru?"  China asked.  Russia remained silent, though he shifted more into his corner, cowering away from China.  China bit his lips and leaned forward, bringing Russia into his embrace.

"Shh, Russia, let it all out, aru."  China said.  After that, first a few sniffles, and then a few hiccups till finally Russia was sobbing, shrieking as he let out his pain, his arms tightly holding China close, as if his life depended on it, his screams of pain echoing in the room.  China continued to coo words of comfort, rubbing circles on Russia's back as Japan arrived with a first-aid kit.

"Shh Russia, we are going to help, aru."  China said, comforting Russia as Belarus and Japan began to clean and treat his wounds.

"It's okay Russia, you are not alone anymore, aru."  China said, closing his eyes as he embraced Russia, staying strong though his heart was breaking at seeing just how much the toll of history was taking on his fellow nation.

"You're not alone, I'm here, aru."  China said softly as Russia's sobs died down till finally, Russia had stopped all movement, though he still held China close, for to Russia, China was his security blanket.

"Don't leave me... please don't leave me alone..."  Russia begged softly.  China nodded and tightened his grip around Russia.

"I won't, I promise, I won't leave you alone, aru."  China said.  Russia nodded but kept softly begging China not to leave him alone.  China continued to say he wouldn't as he looked over to the doorway, hearing footsteps heading towards them.  China looked up and saw Ukraine running towards them with Prussia and, surprisingly, the allies and axis.

Ukraine hurried over and sat beside Belarus as China continued to comfort Russia, his eyes piercing the allies and axis who stood there, taking in the sad sight; a lonely room with a bloody, hurt, and broken man seeking comfort in it.

"It's okay Russia, I won't hurt you and I won't leave you here in this lonely room, aru."  China said softly, trying to calm Russia down, but it only hurt the already guilty allies and axis.

"Please don't go... I don't want to be alone..."  Russia sobbed, too broken to do much else as the no one in the room moved.

"Please... I just want to be loved..."

~Fin~

This hurt so much to write but it ended up being so good (T-T)