England: Do you speak english?

APPLICANT: Yes

England: Name?

APPLICANT: Abdul al-Rhasib

England: Sex?

APPLICANT: Three to five times a week

Englans: No Wanker! I mean male or female?

APPLICANT: Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.

England: Holy bloody cow!

APPLICANT: Yes, cow, sheep animals in general.

England: But isn't it hostile? it's in the Law!

APPLICANT: Horse style, doggy style, any style!

England: Oh bloody dear! *looks at the applicant angrily*

APPLICANT: No, no! Dear runs too fast....

England: OUT OF MY OFFICE!